upworthy

hobbies

Education

Finance expert deftly points out the double standard between men's and women's hobbies

Maybe manicures and lattes aren't that "silly" after all.

Photo credit: Canva

Are women's manicures the new avocado toast?

We’ve all heard millennial money woes get blamed on “frivolous” purchases like avocado toast, which is, as we know, both laughable and maddening. But just ask financial expert Tori Dunlap, and there are other "double standards” regarding spending habits that are just as frustrating…one prime example being the way we view women’s hobbies versus men’s hobbies.

“I did all this research for my bookFinancial Feministabout the way women spend money versus men, and the frivolous spending, the spending that is the reason you can’t get rich or the reason you can’t get ahead, is only feminine spending,” Dunlap noted in a video posted to her TikTok.

As for “women’s hobbies,” Dunlap listed lattes, manicures, and shopping. Granted, these activities can add up (especially with the price of coffee these days) but often they are shared experiences with friends, or a form of self care (few things are as empowering as a fresh set of nails, after all). So there’s an added mental health benefit.

And yet, it’s these purchases that are “the reason women aren’t rich.” Meanwhile, hobbies traditionally seen as masculine, like NFL season tickets, sports betting, golf and video games, obviously warrant a far heftier price tag, and yet are seen as much more acceptable pastimes.

@herfirst100k 🤯
♬ original sound - Tori Dunlap — Money Expert 💸


Dunlap’s point clearly struck a nerve with many women, who shared their own experiences of being questioned about the frugality of their own hobbies by the men in their life whose choice of entertainment cost a small fortune.

“My husband has probably $20,000 worth of gym equipment. I really just wanted a Dyson air wrap 😂,”

My coworkers & boss made fun of me for spending $200 on a concert ticket ONE time meanwhile they spend $150 on golf EVERY WEEKEND. Not to mention the season tickets to baseball and football game,”

“My dad's tools cost like $100 each but he complains when my mom goes to Micahel’s once a month.”

It was also interesting seeing how many women’s hobbies still served others in some way, whereas men’s hobbies only served themselves.

For example, one person wrote, “I spent $600 on an embroidery machine I can use year-round and for various projects and for gift giving…we spent $3800 on golf clubs for my husband to go golfing 2 to 7 times a year.”

This might come across as a battle of the sexes, but there’s a broader underlying theme at work here. Much like the avocado toast controversy of yore, we see an advantaged subset of society blaming a more disadvantaged group for consuming ‘luxuries,’ rather than seeing the system that creates the disadvantages in the first place. In other words, are we really going to chastise folks for a little retail therapy instead of the money hoarding, resource exploiting billionaires and corporations that give us the real issues? C’mon.

As Dunlap put it, “The reason women aren’t rich is because of systemic oppression.”

Still, at least we can all agree that hobbies do us a world of good—especially if they get us off of blasted screens. So really, as long as it truly does no harm, let’s just let people find joy wherever they can. Be it at sports stadiums, or at the salon.

From Your Site Articles
money
Badge
Brother USA
Brother USA
Wellness

Looking for a simple way to improve your family’s well-being? Try crafting together.

Courtesy of Brother USA and ABCDeena

Doing crafts as a family is good for everyone's well-being.

True

It’s National Craft Month! We’re celebrating all things crafty and highlighting crafts that do good. Crafting is fun, of course, but it can also encourage sustainability through upcycling, promote education and connection through teaching others, and nurture our well-being through relaxation and mindful creativity.

I recently got a taste of all of those benefits with my own family.

“Mom, I feel like doing something crafty,” my pre-teen son told me one evening. I pointed out that we have a whole cabinet full of craft materials he could use, but he wanted a specific project.

“Okay, let me think.” I told him. “Why don’t we make collages?”

I pulled out the scissors, glue, some old magazines, scrapbook paper, and a piece of cardstock for each of us, and sat down at the table with him.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d set aside time to do something artistic, and soon I found myself wondering why I don’t do it more often. It felt good—refreshing and soothing at the same time.

As we each cut and arranged images and words that spoke to us, we talked about the things we were choosing for our collages and why. We discussed the different colors and how they make us feel. As we worked, our conversations meandered here and there, from deep and meaningful to light and silly. It all felt important.

One of the few good things the pandemic has given our family is time for creative activities we might not have made space for before. In fact, a study on families in the U.S and South Korea found that more parents have purchased more arts and crafts-related merchandise and encouraged their kids to engage in more creative endeavors since COVID-19 arrived. Parents have seen crafts as a way to keep kids occupied in an educational way.

Courtesy of Brother USA

In my personal experience, it’s also a great way to bond as a family. Deena of ABCDeeLearning says that it’s important for families to do crafts together because it helps create memories with one another. But families who aren’t particularly crafty might not know where to start.

“The basic craft supplies that families should have on hand are washable paint, acrylic paint, pom-poms, pipe cleaners, art trays, paper plates, beads, clothespins, colored cardstock paper, markers, crayons, and toilet paper rolls,” she says. “I love using recycled materials like toilet paper rolls to create with. If you have these supplies on hand, you can do A TON of different crafts.”

Deena recommends starting with painting crafts if you’re new to crafting, as it’s easy to do and adapt to different ages. It also doesn’t require a ton of supplies. As families get more used to the idea of crafting regularly, they can expand to things like paper-cutting crafts, or fabric and sewing crafts, but crafts don’t have to be complicated to be fun.

Courtesy of ABCDeena

Crafting can also be legitimately therapeutic. In fact, a study from New Zealand shows that the feeling of calm I had while collaging with my son wasn’t a coincidence.

Researcher Tamlin Conner from the University of Otago and two American researchers surveyed 650 young adults whose online diaries describe their daily activities and their sense of well-being. Then they analyzed the participants’ engagement in creative endeavors, their levels of positive and negative emotions and what the researchers called “flourishing”— their overall sense of meaning, purpose, engagement, and social connection.

What Conner and her team found? Engaging in creative activities one day predicts a positive sense of well-being the next day.

“Research often yields complex, murky, or weak findings,” Conner told Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. “But these patterns were strong and straightforward: Doing creative things today predicts improvements in well-being tomorrow. Full stop.”

And it didn’t matter whether people were naturally creative or not.

Courtesy of Brother USA

“We were actually pleased that personality made no difference in the link between creativity and well-being,” she said. “This suggests that everyone and anyone can benefit from introducing creativity into their daily lives.”

Making time and space for crafts can help you reap the benefits of creative activity for your own well-being, and also help you connect on a different level as a family. If you’re not sure where to start, we love Brother USA’s blog of resources. They have a range of crafts for all ages and skill levels that can easily be done as a family, as well as products that can make your craft projects pop. (For instance, the Brother ScanNCut DX SDX85 is a cool tool that lets you scan and automatically precision-cut your own handmade designs. We’re also big fans of their P-touch Embellish ELITE which allows you to customize ribbons and tapes right from your smartphone.)

The time we have with our kids at home is precious and fleeting, so let’s make the most of it, wisely and creatively.

More Links We Like:

Brother Crafts USA Instagram

P-touch Embellish Instagram

Brother Sews Instagram

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
well-being
Videos

The amount of joy this guy gets from watching trains has TikTok completely charmed

TikTok

Screenshots taken from @francis.bourgeois on TikTok

There is truly no end to the bizarre and delightful pockets of TikTok. Whether you’re watching someone put literally anything under a microscope, discovering how to make oreo mug cake or enjoying the simple pleasures of witnessing amazing cleaning transformations, the possibilities for entertainment are endless.

This 20-year-old trainspotter and TikTok star, Luke Nicolson (better known as Francis Bourgeois), is certainly no exception to this.

Even if you could care less about trains, the unbridled, child-like enthusiasm that Francis has for them is so contagious that you might find yourself looking longingly at a railroad. Or at the very least, in better spirits after hearing his infectious laugh.

@francis.bourgeois Here is a Southern class 377 running Littlehampton to Southampton Central #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

Often with a go-pro strapped onto his head, Francis waits in heightened anticipation, raves over tones and chats up the drivers, who seem equally happy to see him.

Most of the time, he simply can’t contain himself once the train arrives, as indicated by the bursts of pure glee that come from him as a new train approaches. And that’s just the way his millions of followers like it.

@francis.bourgeois Class 59 (59103) Merehead Quarry - Wootton Bassett driven by the legend called Gordon! #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

“It’s the sound of the engines, the honks, the wheels on the tracks, they’re therapeutic noises, “ he tells The Face. “As for the railways, there’s a satisfaction in the way they line up, the way something so huge is on a direct path. On a deeper level, there’s something [special] about how the direction of a train is predefined – you know where it’s come from and where it’s going to go.”

@francis.bourgeois Fantastic Mr. Fox nearly ended up in a disasterous situation but luckily I saved him!🦊 #trains #fox #trending #fyp ♬ Time - Hans Zimmer

Luke spent his childhood in North West London immersed in his passion, even drawing pictures from memory of the trains he had seen passing by at the station (The Tab).

Often as we approach adulthood, that certain zest for our childhood hobbies begins to fade. Or rather, it gets suppressed. Luke too felt the pressure to conceal his interests in order to blend in once he got older.

However, once he began his engineering degree at Nottingham University, things changed.

@francis.bourgeois Class 158s are amazing, if you’ve been on one, you will know they’re good! 😊 #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

“Coming to university, I’ve turned a new page and allowed my passions to [flourish] and not be held down. It’s made me a lot happier,” he told The Face.

@francis.bourgeois I found an awesome new train spotting location where you can wave at the commuters coming back from London! #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

Coming more into his own, along with a dose of lockdown boredom, helped Luke come up with the idea. And thus Francis Bourgeois (presumably named after a court painter for George III) was born.

@francis.bourgeois Saying goodbye to @ryan.windridge after a great day train spotting! #trains #trending #fyp ♬ Peace Piece - Bill Evans Trio

Many thought Francis’ larger-than-life person was too good to be true, and accused him of being a fake, particularly after photos of his younger self emerged. Francis posted a response video. And it is not only a masterclass in authenticity, it also sheds light on just how powerful the urge to fit in can be, and how we are so routinely compelled to silence that inner child.

@francis.bourgeois I wanted to make this video to show that train spotters can come in different shapes and sizes! #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

And sadly, many of us can struggle to bring that light back, once it’s squelched. However, seeing people like Francis rekindle that innocent spirit makes things seem so much more hopeful, and I think that’s a major aspect of his appeal.

@francis.bourgeois BILLIE EYLISH WENT ON IG LIVESTREAM WITH ME!!! #billieeilish #dreamcometrue #uk #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

His fame might have taken off as a result of a few fake Insta lives with celebrities like Billie Eilish, but the true lasting power of Francis’ account is thanks to the endearing charm, wholesome devotion and genuinely loveable demeanor of his personality.

@francis.bourgeois Here’s when I saw the Midland Pullman and met some lovely staff #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

It’s a certain lust for life that makes Francis’ videos so profound. It’s hard to not find yourself wanting to discover your own passion after witnessing his.

@francis.bourgeois Class 66’s top and tailing a rake of engineering carriages to Fairwater Yard! A very rare occurance happens here😂 #trains #trending #fyp ♬ original sound - Francis Bourgeois

Francis might be a mostly local celebrity now, but as is the magic of TikTok, his local celebrity status has transcended after being discovered by a talent agency. So who knows, maybe we’ll spot this trainspotter on his very own television show. I’d certainly watch it.

In the meantime, his TikToks continue to be amusing, uplifting and inspiring.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
uplifting
More

This 86-year-old learned how to knit so he could make caps for premature babies.

Dogwood Forest, a senior living community in Georgia, wanted to lend a helping hand to local families who needed it.

Nearby Northside Hospital Atlanta needed caps for premature babies staying in its neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Oftentimes, premature babies struggle to stay warm, so they're kept in incubators with a comfy hat fitted on their heads. These caps are important.

The residents at Dogwood had been happy to help fill the little hat void, knitting dozens of hats for the NICU. And Ed Moseley, an 86-year-old who thought the initiative would keep "the old people out of trouble" was one of them.

But there was just one problem when the project started: Ed couldn't knit.

Photo courtesy of Northside Hospital Atlanta.

"I told my daughter about it, and I said, ‘How can I knit? What do I need to do?’" Moseley told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "And bless her heart, she went to Jo-Anns [Fabrics] and got a kit, yarn, and instruction kit for me. So I started slowly and learned it just takes patience."

Slowly but surely, Ed got the hang of it. His first cap took several hours to make. But after he got into a groove, he could churn one out in no time.

"I followed the instructions, and after two or three attempts, I started making fairly good caps," he told Inside Edition. "We started filling up my couch with caps, and then all of a sudden, caps started coming from various places."

Photo courtesy of Dogwood Forest.

Ed became unstoppable. He's crafted more than 55 colorful caps since July.

His creations contributed to the more than 350 caps the senior center dropped off at Northside Hospital in Atlanta on Nov. 17, 2016, on National Preemie Awareness Day.

So. Many. Caps. Photo courtesy of Northside Hospital Atlanta.

For the parents of little ones at Northside, it's a wonderful feeling to know those on the outside of the hospital are thinking about your family.

"It means a lot to us, because this is our second stint in the NICU," Doug Bunt, whose son, Matthew, was born on Nov. 12, 2016, told Good Morning America. "The fact this man is taking time out of his day to help the kids really means a lot to us."

Doug Bunt and his family. Photo courtesy of Northside Hospital Atlanta.

Ed's story proves you can learn a new skill at any age — and make a big difference along the way.

"When someone appreciates something you do, that makes you feel good, naturally," said Ed, who plans on making about 30 hats a month moving forward to help fill the need. "I got a lot of enjoyment doing this, and now I’ve graduated to large caps. I’m doing caps for all my grandkids."

The seniors who lent a helping hand. Photo courtesy of Northside Hospital Atlanta.

Watch Ed's inspiring story from "Inside Edition" below:

Trending Stories