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Girls give the 'fear my father' trope a wholesome twist with adorably dorky dad reveals

He's not mad, he's just disappointed.

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Girls are "warning" guys not to get on their dad's bad side, with a wholesome twist.

We all know the stereotype: there's the beautiful girl with no shortage of suitors, but there's just one problem—her dad is a menace. He's large, burly, cold as ice, and usually sitting on the front porch with a shotgun. If you want to date her, you better be ready to impress him (and he's impossible to impress). Worse, if you hurt her, he'll hurt you even more.

It's a common trope seen in movies, TV shows, and country songs. And while, as a dad myself, I respect being protective of our daughters in a world that can be really dangerous for them, the stereotype and attitude behind it probably does more harm than good.

Luckily, a new viral trend is putting a wholesome twist on the "fear my father" trope, and people are gobbling it up.

Girls on TikTok and Instagram are making videos warning anyone who might hurt them that they'll have to deal with Dad. Tense hip-hop music sets up the dramatic reveal of these intimidating father figures, only...they're all the sweetest, most lovable dorky dads you ever did see.

In Madeleine Byrne's take on the trend, she reveals her sweater-wearing father as he giddily discusses all the things he loves about shopping at Costco. Watch out, bad boys!

"Stay away if you hate a good deal i guess," she joked.

@madeleinebyrnee

Stay away if you hate a good deal i guess

User Jackie McLoon ups the ante, showing off not one, but two threatening dads. They're promptly shown dancing around, wearing silly outfits, and even blowing bubbles outside for fun. Scary!

"mess with me I dare you," McLoon writes.

@loonymcloony

mess with me I dare you. #lgbtq #fyp

Definitely don't mess with Eunice Cycle, whose dad will make you a mean cup of his famous Chinese soup.

Cycle loves to torture her adorable dad with these videos. In another, she teases, "Cheat on me? This is my dad," to which he responds with a peace sign, a laugh, and a "Yes, cheat on me, too."

Oh, Dad. Never change.

@eunice.cycle

TikTok · Eunice Cycle🧋

In another spin on the meme, a girl reveals her smiling dad dancing goofily in an apron. Yep, definitely don't want to mess with her! If only because you could never live with yourself if you broke her sweet father's heart.

@sweetmemesaremadeofgeese

#meme #memes #funny #funnyvideos #dad #daughter #cheat #cheater

The trend has been going strong for five years now, evolving slowly over time. By now there are hundreds of videos of girls and women doing their own take on the joke, and commenters continue to eat it up.

"having a dad like this was my dream growing up.," one commenter wrote about Madeleine Byrne's Costco-loving father.

"They will hit ya with 'I’m not mad, just disappointed' and we all know that hurts the worst," someone wrote about Jackie McLoon's double dads.

"your dads the loveliest man ever i would never mess with you for fear that it would upset him," a commenter told Eunice Cycle about her soup connoisseur dad.

The violent and threatening overprotective father archetype comes from a place of love, really, but it's really not the best template for what a positive male role model should look like.

I mean, who wouldn't be worried for their daughter in a world where domestic violence, sexual assault, and even infidelity are so prevalent?

But the answer to that violence is not more violence. Worse, the looming, terrifying father trope infantilizes woman and suggests they can't be trusted to make their own decisions. It treats them like property, something to be guarded and given away by men. And, believe it or not, it unnecessarily demonizes young boys and men.

Truth be told, there are other and better ways to protect your daughter. The dads in these videos may not be physically imposing or even have a mean bone in their bodies, but making your girls feel safe and loved, modeling gentle and positive masculinity, and being an active and affectionate presence in their lives—now that's how it's done!

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A man grossly misjudged how to speak to girls and got expertly handled by a Girl Scout

"No. Walk away."

Somewhere in Salt Lake City, a Girl Scout is getting allll the good mojo from The People of the Internet.

Over one weekend in March in 2020, Eli McCann shared a story of an encounter at a Girl Scout cookie stand that has people punching the air and shouting, YES! THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE. (Or maybe that's just me. But I'm guessing most of the 430,000 people who liked his story had a similar reaction.)

"I just saw the most wild thing!" McCann wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "A man started walking toward the Girl Scouts cookie stand in front of the grocery store and he yelled 'My bitches are BACK' and this Girl Scout just yelled 'No. Walk away.' AND HE DID."

So simple. So straightforward. But it gets even better.

McCann wrote out the full story on his blog, It Just Gets Stranger, offering some extra details to his tweets.

"It was truly jarring," he wrote of the man's exclamation. "Like, it was sort of the last thing I expected anyone to say. My mind suddenly rebooted. The six or so other people who were all standing around in front of the grocery store froze and looked at him. I opened my mouth to say something, but then really didn't know what to say."

"It was unclear who he was calling 'bitches,'" he continued. "If it was the Girl Scouts, well obviously that was terrible. If it was the cookies, I mean that's kind of funny (don't @ me), but totally inappropriate to say to a bunch of 12 year olds (is that how old Girl Scouts are?). Either way, he shouldn't have said it and I don't know what could have possibly made him think this was a fine way to approach a group of Girl Scouts."

McCann said the girl's response was immediate, and it floored everyone. "Her tone was so full of confidence and sass," he wrote. "It was the most perfectly delivered line I have ever heard."

"This dude completely froze. He just stopped walking. His face went bright red. His mouth was sort of gaping open. He did this very awkward and stilted nod, almost apologetic, abruptly turned around, and shuffled back to his car at like 6-minute-mile pace. The girl just death stared him all the way through his walk of shame."

McCann says it took him a bit to digest what he'd just seen.

"I ended up walking into the store and the entire time I was shopping I was just trying to process what had happened. I kept replaying it over and over and wondering if I had misheard or misunderstood something," he wrote.


"Who was this guy? Did he just make the biggest miscalculation of his life? Is he going to move away and start a new life now? Is that girl going to be president one day? Can I adopt her? Can she adopt me? Can I start a cult to follow her?"


As he was leaving the store, he went up to the girl to compliment her—then got another perfectly delivered line from the intrepid Girl Scout.

"Two adult women were standing behind the girl (the troop leaders, I assume)," he wrote. "I said to the girl, 'I saw how you handled that man earlier. That was really really impressive. Your troop is pretty lucky to have you.'"

"And this girl. This Goddess of a human. The one I'm for sure going to worship if ever she starts a religion. Without stuttering. With perfect comedic timing. She responded:

'You gotta be pretty tough if you're gonna go out in THIS outfit.'"

OMG.

Let's all give this girl a virtual high five for her gumption and wit. It takes a lot of courage to say something to an adult when you're a kid, especially a man who is doing something inappropriate. The fact that she seemed to have been perfectly prepared for that moment, shutting him down so immediately and decisively that everyone in the vicinity stopped to take note, is so dang impressive.

This is what happens when you teach girls their true worth and encourage them not to accept anything less than respect and dignity. Gotta love it.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Kate Winslet shares sage advice for complimenting girls and women are loving it

So many women say they never heard things like this growing up.

Photo credit: Maggie (Maggiejumps) from Palm Springs, United States

Kate Winslet at the Palm Film Festival, 2007

The way we see ourselves is influenced greatly by those around us, especially during out formative years. The words of our parents and other family members, our friends and teachers, acquaintances and random strangers can have a big impact on our self-image and sense of confidence—for better and for worse.

That's part of why paying others compliments is so powerful. We all know that negative words can stick with us, but kind ones can too. Especially if we pay attention to the way in which we offer kids a compliment, as actress Kate Winslet explained on the How to Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast.

"When we compliment our children, particularly our girls—and any mother who is listening, please remember this," she said. "There is so much negativity that young girls are hearing from the world, just because that’s how the world is, but also because, very sadly, many of them are on social media and are exposed to an unnecessary level of negativity every day of their lives. If we do not tell them that they are beautiful and that we are so proud of who they are, they might not hear it from anyone else. So you have to say it."

"And there’s also a way of saying to your child, 'I love you and you’re amazing,'" she continued. "There’s that, but there’s also, 'Do you know what I love? The way you see the world and the way you dress with so much pride. I just really admire that.' That will land on a teenage girl’s ear much better than 'You look lovely, darling.' That's in one ear and out the other because they expect us to say that and they've heard us say it a million times before. But saying, 'My god, you look so strong and vibrant. Never ever lose the pride you take in how you walk through the world. It's amazing.'"

Winslet's message resonated with so many women, especially those who themselves had not heard compliments like this growing up. Check out these comments:

"When I was a kid, I remember looking in the mirror and crying because I thought I was ugly. Like young, second grade maybe. And my mom was in the room and all she said was stop it. And I really needed to hear kind loving words."

"Oh goodness, I’ve never heard those things my whole life (entirely the opposite!) but I’ll be damned if my little girl (and my son too because that equally matters in such a judgemental world!) ever feels she’s no enough. I’m forever telling her how beautiful she is, how sparkly she shines but also how strong she is, how brave, powerful, kind, funny, loving and magical. I do everything in my power to be body confident around her and so much so I’ve slowly started to love myself a little more too. Words are powerful, actions are powerful. Standing in the mirror telling myself whilst little eyes and ears are watching ‘I love the way my belly wobbles, I’m proud of my body because it grew my precious children’ is hopefully what they will remember as the grow and never once wonder if they should be more or less, or anything other than their perfectly imperfect self. 💕"

"Not me literally crying because my mom has NEVER said any of these things to me.."

"Me too 💕💕 I don't plan on having kids but I do plan on telling all my friends future kids this as much as I can and I'm so excited for that ❤️"

"Same girl. In fact I was told I was a waste of fresh air and would never be anything. I tell my 6yo at least 5 times a day how amazing and beautiful she is, and how proud I am of her. She is literally healing my heart 🥰💜"

"Aame. Not even the, 'you look lovely darling' part."

"Me neither..I just got negative messages from my mum as a child. A part of me still thinks Im not pretty or good enough. But you know what, I'm working hard to remind my daughter every single day that she is strong, smart, beautiful, wise, intelligent...In a certain way Im healing too my inner child at the same time I give her a high confidence."

"Growing up in the 80s I was never told this either and never thought of myself as pretty or special . Now that I have children and tell them how proud I am of them and how beautiful/handsome they are , I realise how bad my self esteem is / was. I was loved but didn’t get that type of validation. So now I am making sure my children know how beautiful and special they are."

As much as girls get a particularly heaving helping of negativity from society, as some pointed out, boys need to hear these kinds of compliments as well.

"Say it all to the boys too, please!!"

"Agree actually and I don’t have sons I have two girls. But I think this massively applies to boys also."

"I love Love love this woman. I am a mum of a daughter and two boys. I always notice when my daughter walks in the room ready for a compliment, my sons are also waiting for the compliment but without being so obvious and when they get it, their faces light up. So let’s say it to boys and girls. How proud they make us just because they have been born even or How beautiful they are because their pureness shines through from their little hearts. Even during the temper tantrums and stroppy teenage years 🙌❤️"

"Boys can be very sensitive, society has just dictated that they must have a tougher exterior. I am a Mum of two boys and feel that this is an equally important message for boys and girls - all kids."

"Was going to say the same thing. I have 2 boys and they need this just as much as my daughter does."

It's true. We all perk up a bit when we receive a compliment, especially when it reflects something specific about our character and not just something surface or generic. Kate Winslet's advice is a good reminder of how to compliment anyone of any age or gender effectively.


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A photographer mom shoots portraits of girls in sparkly dresses and sports equipment because YES

It's already been shared 175,000 times. ❤️❤️❤️

HMP Couture Imagery

Some of the HMP Couture sports models



This one's for the girls who know you don't have to chose between sparkles and sports.

For too long, girls have been sent the message that they have to be either/or. You're either a girly-girl or a tomboy. You're either into sparkly princesses or sports practices. From the early days of childhood, we're told in bold and subtle ways to squeeze ourselves into separate boxes.

But those boxes are bullspit, and most of us know it. Girls don't have to choose between feeling beautiful and being badass. We can be both at the same time.

Perhaps that's why a portrait shoot shared by HMP Couture Imagery showing girls dressed up in fancy dresses and sports equipment has gone insanely viral. The shoot is called "Because you can do it all," and in just a few days it has already been shared 175,000+ times.

The woman who photographed the shoot says a comment from a fellow mom sparked the idea.

Heather Mitchell, the photographer from Alabama who runs HMP Couture Imagery, told Upworthy how the portrait shoot came about.

"My youngest daughter is 8 and she is trying softball this year for the first time," said Mitchell. "We were at practice a few weeks ago and I was talking with the other moms. I was saying that I hoped Paislee learned to love the game because she was athletic. One of the moms told me that she was not athletic, that she was a girly-girl."

"I couldn't sleep that night," Mitchell continued. "All I could think was, 'Why does she have to choose?' I played every sport my school offered and wore lipstick to every game. So the next day we went to the studio and created her shot."

Mitchell says she only spent about three minutes shooting because she knew exactly what she wanted to create. After she posted the photos of Paislee to her personal Facebook page, she got a ton of requests from other parents for the same kind of shoot. After adding two days to the schedule, they sold out in an hour—and the requests just keep on coming.


Mitchell hopes that girls see these photos and realize that they don't have to choose one identity.

The idea that crinoline and cleats can't exist in the same mental space is silly, but common. Girls (and boys for that matter) can love pretty things and kick butt at sports. They don't have to be one thing or the other.

"My parent taught me that I could be anything I wanted growing up," Mitchell told Upworthy. "I didn't realize till I was much older that everyone is not that blessed."

These photos are an excellent reminder to questions our assumptions and not place unnecessary limits on anyone—and an empowering example for girls who don't fit neatly into a socially constructed box.

"I hope that every little girl that sees this series can see that there is no box," says Mitchell. "Whatever their dreams are they can achieve."


This article originally appeared on 4.17.19


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