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Real dads share 13 infuriatingly simple things they get praised for

"The bar for being a 'good dad' is low."

Real dads share 13 infuriatingly simple things they get praised for
Derek Owens & Natalie Kinnear/Unsplash

Any dad who has young kids knows you can't take them anywhere without being complimented by strangers. It could be the park, the grocery store, or a foreign country. Anywhere you go, you're bound to hear it: "What a great dad, look at you! These kids are so lucky."

Don't get me wrong, the compliments feel amazing! It's only later that you stop and think how weird it is to get praised for doing the absolute bare minimum. Just being physically present and near your children is enough to be called a great dad, apparently. Dads are taking to social media to talk about this strange phenomenon. In a viral social media thread, guys are sharing simple, mundane moments with their kids when strangers pulled them aside to tell them how amazing they were doing.

1. Playing dress up

Wearing a funny hat, a wig, or letting your daughters paint your nails is about one of the easiest, silliest things you could possibly do. Yet it's often found worthy of praise!

"Yesterday we had my daughter's birthday at an indoor playground. She got a very nice tiara from her grandma that she wore to the party and looked like a princess. We went into the play area and she took it off and handed it to me so she wouldn't break it. I just put it on my head because, where else does a tiara go. Completely forgot about it. 15 minutes later some mom and grandma come sit next to us and instantly look at me. The grandma asks what bet I lost to have to wear it in public. I laughed and said being a dad. The mom then praised me for being a good dad, her husband wouldn't never do that, especially in public. They were so impressed that I wasn't ashamed or something," one Redditor wrote.

2. Changing a diaper

baby with diaper inside crib Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Changing a baby's diapers is like parenting 101. It's a fundamental task of the first couple of years. Yet it's sadly way too common (especially in generations past) for dads to opt out completely.

"I have a 7 week old as of Friday and my in laws were impressed that I feed and change her. I was like seriously. Feels like a basic thing," another dad wrote.

3. Feeding

Ditto on feeding. Are you really a "great dad" for giving your baby a bottle? Or are you just doing the basics?

"When my daughter was about six months old we flew to CA for my grandma’s 95th birthday. At some point I was sitting feeding her a bottle and my dad asked my Grandma what she thought seeing me feeding my daughter. She said it was nice because she’s never seen a dad do that before," a dad said in the thread.

4. Literally just talking to children

A man having any positive interaction at all with young children? *applause*

"Sometimes people will tell me that they think I'll be such a good dad, simply because at family functions, I will sit there and talk to the kids and listen to their goofy kid stories and play with them. I only do it because people did it for me when I was young and I feel like it helped make me more personable and confident in talking to people. ... I don't feel like it's anything special, but apparently that's the mark of a good dad," another guy added.

5. Grocery shopping with the kids

Not only is it apparently unheard of for a dad to take the kids out in public alone, but to buy groceries for the family? Incredible!

"I take my kids to the grocery store all the time. Every time I do some old boomer lady wants to throw me a parade cause her husband / father / grandfather would never do those things," one dad noticed.

6. Cooking

man cutting vegetables Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

If you're a dad and you can make anything other than Kraft mac n' cheese, you may be eligible for a major international award.

A mom chimed in on this one to say, "Mom here. But this is what my husband does every week with our daughter. He does most the cooking. Because he is much better at it. He also is far better at sticking to the grocery list than me. ... But this one definitely gets the two of them plenty of comments about how wonderful he is to take care of his child."

7. Doing laundry and cleaning

Didn't you know that laundry and cleaning are 'woman's work'? If any dad lifts a finger in this area, he's automatically a hero.

"My wife was out of town three days and nights this past weekend, and my mother came over to see the kids. She heard the washing machine and asked what that noise was; I said I was doing laundry. She said, 'You're doing laundry and everything else for them?' Like, yeah. [What] do you mean? Kids will wear soiled underwear and not eat dinner?" one dad wrote.

8. Playing with kids at the park

Going to the park is the easiest, laziest way to get the kids out of the house and off your case for a while.

"Even just taking them to the park, I get a lot of 'oh my husband would never take them to the park he couldn't handle it.' You just gotta show up and be present," a father noted.

9. Going on vacation with the kids alone

To be fair, this one is a lot of work and is definitely a sign of a capable dad! But moms do this kind of thing all the time and rarely get a word of praise for it.

"I’m a full time single dad. I took my daughter to Florida last summer. At a water park, my little girl made friends with a couple other kids. The other kids mom asked me where my daughter’s mom was, I told her we were divorced. She was shocked that I had taken my daughter on vacation all by myself with no help from mom. The vibe she gave off about it kind of pissed me off," another dad said.

10. Showing up to practice

Taking kids to swim or soccer practice, while hectic on the schedule, is pretty easy! Usually you just have to sit there and read a book or catch up on work for an hour.

"I get so much credit from mums around me because I'm at all the dance classes and performances," one dad begrudgingly noticed.

11. Doing bedtime

When people tell me I'm an amazing dad for brushing my kids' teeth and reading them a story, what they don't know is I'm really just trying to get them to bed so I can relax.

boy in blue shirt brushing teeth Photo by Shalev Cohen on Unsplash

"I took my kids down to visit my sister last year for a few days; my mam is staying with her and the kids love their granny. The wife stayed home because our dog was sick, so I was flying solo. Bedtime came, and I'm going through the routine we've had since they were born - teeth brushed, washed and dressed, then bed. They're 13 and 10, so they know the drill, I was just reminding them offhandedly as they were running around her house. My sister turns to me and says, 'you're a good dad; our dad wouldn't have bothered doing any of that,'" a dad wrote.

12. Being involved in medical emergencies

"My 1yo son was in the hospital for a couple days after getting the flu and RSV which set off his asthma. I got called a good dad for being in the hospital with him overnight. The bar is way too low," a baffled father wrote.

I mean, where else would you be?!

13. "Babysitting"

If you're out flying solo with the kids, you must be giving mom a break. Kudos to you for keeping everyone alive until the boss gets back!

"The number of positive compliments I received for 'babysitting' my daughter when simply walking her in the pram was astounding. It happened almost every day?!" a dad said.

You can look at this phenomenon as a good thing. Dads spend more time with their kids than in the past, that's just a fact. Overall, we're more hands-on, more nurturing, and more involved. People, especially from older generations, aren't used to seeing it just yet and can't help but be impressed. That's a good thing and a sign of positive change!

But there is a dark side to these well-meaning compliments. At times they can feel backhanded, like they stem from a very low opinion of what dads are actually capable of. Wow you put your little girl's hair in a ponytail all by yourself without mom's help, amazing! Dads can sometimes be treated like stand-in or temporary caretakers, just holding down the fort until mom can get there. For fathers who really want to do their best, that's not a good feeling.

We just have to keep raising the bar little by little, generation by generation, until people stop being surprised when they see a dad doing a half-decent job.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

Parenting

His mother gave him a 'husbands in training' course as a child. Every parent should do it.

Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.

Doug Weaver explains "Husbands in Training."

Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, about half of those will end in divorce.

Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

No comment on how that's going.

Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

"When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called 'Husbands in Training,'" he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. "It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband."

Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on "the ethics of the porn industry." His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

"There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum," Doug said. "There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn't."

Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. "We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being," Doug explained.

@dougweaverart

Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story

The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. "A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. "So, he decided he also wanted to take 'Husbands in Training.'"

The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. "My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day," he shared in his TikTok clip.

However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a new YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.


This article originally appeared three years ago.


@oldmansrock/Instagram

Truly a once in a lifetime talent.

When we think of badass, alt rock icons of the 90s, few are as singular and unique as Dolores O’Riordan, who gave The Cranberries its signature sound, and who was once described as having"the voice of a saint trapped in a glass harp.”

It wasn’t just that O’Riordan flawlessly blended traditional Celtic singing techniques like lilting and keening into rock music (which in itself is an amazing feat) but that her performances never compromised emotional authenticity for the sake of aesthetics. The result, as any fan will tell you, was something both ethereal and raw all at the same time.

So it should probably be of no surprise that in this resurfaced clip, presumably from the late 90s, O’Riordan’s stunning cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” is every bit as magical. As @oldmansrock, the account that posted the video, wrote, “the way that Dolores could challenge the pitch but still stay on key, that is the mark of an accomplished singer.

It sounds dissonant compared to the manufactured material of today, where every tone is perfect, but hers is oh so human, and so very Irish! It is beautiful!”

But don’t just take their word for it. Watch:

If this had you wanting to pull up a Cranberries playlist on your Spotify to listen to for the rest of the day, you're not alone. Down in the comments, the renewed love for O’’Riordan was palpable.

“What sits deep with me is that no one sounds like her. Her voice is unmistakable. Whatever her take on a song/lyric? It was authentically, soul-touching Dolores.

“She was unbelievably talented and the cranberries are criminally underrated.”

“Her Irish vocal sweep ups are amazing.”

“She was just brilliant!!! Incredibly talented as well as a lovely and kind human being. I love and miss her. I don't know how anyone can have a bad word to say about this. I thought it was brilliant, both her live cover and studio cover. I wish people weren't so stubborn. I can accept covers no problem if the singer is talented enough, and she most certainly is. ❤️”

“A keening Irish queen. Her voice will always stir me.”

“An actual once in a generation talent”

“Also a master of the microphone. She knows exactly where the sweet spot is for every note.”

“She could melt your heart with that voice, or completely blow you away. Missed dearly, but never forgotten ❤️”

This cover would go on to be a part to the Cranberries’ third album, To The Faithful Departed, which was released in 1996 and became the band’s highest-charting album on the US Billboard 200, and was praised for its darker tone as well as its themes of grief and loss.

After O’Riordan died from drowning due to alcohol intoxication in January 2018, the Cranberries would disband in 2019, but they released their final album, In the End, that year. It was comprised of some of O'Riordan's unfinished demo tapes.

While O’Riordan met the same tragic fate that befalls many artists, especially those in the music industry, her spirit lives on in her art. Because she put so much of herself into her craft, even bite-sized clips of her performances, many years later, inspire those who listen to it. That’s something worth celebrating.

By the way, you can catch a full video of the cover below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Upworthy has covered a few stories about people who decided to live permanently on cruise ships because it's cheaper than living on land or in a nursing home. These stories have connected with millions because they say a lot about the modern cost of living but are also aspirational.

Christine Kesteloo has become popular on TikTok with over 680,000 followers because she shares what living on a cruise ship is really like. Kesteloo is the wife of the ship’s Staff Chief Engineer, so she gets to live on the boat for free. She only has to pay for alcohol and soda, which she gets for half off according to Business Insider.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Kesteloo’s life seems pretty stress-free. After all, she's basically on a permanent vacation. However, even though she lives on a cruise ship as a “wife on board,” there are a few things she either can’t or shouldn’t do.

She shared these four things in a TikTok video with nearly 10 million views.

@dutchworld_americangirl

I go through four things I can, and cannot do it while living on the cruise ship with my husband #weliveonacruiseship #4things #alaskacruise #cruiseship #cruiseshiplife #cruise #alaska #caribbeancruise #cruiselife #livingstsea #getreadywithme

1. No gambling

Kesteloo says she cannot sit at a slot machine and “play my heart out until I win.” She believes it would “look a little weird if I, as the wife of the staff chief engineer, won a big jackpot.”

2. Can’t leave the ship with the guests

When the ship arrives at a destination, she can't get off with the guests. She must wait about an hour and exit the vessel with the crew. When returning to the ship, she also has to be on time. “No, they will not wait for us,” she says. And the same goes for her husband, if they “miss the ship, someone else will take over the role.”

3. Sit in a crowded pool

Although Kesteloo has access to the pool, gym, and all the ship’s amenities, she’s cautious not to interfere with the guests' good time. She’ll exit the pool if it’s busy because “it’s just the right thing to do.”

4. Must have international traveler insurance

She must have insurance in case of a misfortune on the ship. But as a citizen of the Netherlands, they already have coverage and just have to pay a few extra dollars a month.

Some of the most popular commenters on the video were from women regretting that they married men who aren’t chief engineers on cruise ships or those who want to know where to find a single one.

"OK, can you explain how to marry a cruise ship engineer?" one female commentator wrote.

"How. in. the. H E double hockey sticks do I become the wife of a cruise ship engineer???? I don’t have to work AND cruise for free!" another added.

"Does he have any single friends with same job??? Asking for me," one more asked.

It's a charmed life!


This article originally appeared last year.

How long can you hang out?

Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left. Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy, but some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health.

A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live. One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath, and start hanging.

The study found that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men. Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like.



Dr. Peter Attia, founder of Early Medical and author of Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (2023), believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health.

“It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on The Drive podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone who's got a weak grip deadlifting it's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge.

Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog.

Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So, do lighter people have an unfair advantage over those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cellfound a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity.



The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs.

How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline):

  • Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.
  • Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.
  • Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.
  • Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.
  • If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.
  • Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.

This article originally appeared last year.