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4 specific strategies stalkers use—and steps you should take if someone is stalking you

Stalking is its own unique crime, but people may not be aware of everything it can entail.

man following a woman
Photo credit: Canva

Stalking is a serious crime.

If you've ever been the victim of a stalker, you know how scary it can feel. The constant fear and uneasiness. The persistent feeling of your privacy and security being violated. The never knowing what the person might do next and feeling like your safety is in danger.

What people need to know is that stalking itself is a crime all on its own. It doesn't have to escalate to violence or involve other criminal activity in order to be documented, reported, and prosecuted. That's why it's important to know the signs of stalking, the strategies stalkers use to victimize, and the steps you should take if someone is stalking you—preferably before it ever happens.

What is stalking? Is it an actual crime?

First, let's define stalking. On the one hand, it's slightly complicated, since different jurisdictions have different legal definitions. However, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, "stalking is generally defined as a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear." It is officially a crime in all 50 states, and at the federal level, stalking is considered "dangerous and potentially lethal."

More specifically, a stalking "pattern of behavior" may include "following a person; driving by a victim’s place of employment or school; sending unwanted gifts, cards, or e-mails; persistently calling or text messaging; tracking a victim’s whereabouts using technology such as cameras or global positioning systems (GPSs); vandalizing property; and threatening to hurt the victim, his or her family, another person, or pets."

woman holding her hand over her mouth while holding a cell phoneStalking makes victims feel afraid with a pattern of behavior.Photo credit: Canva

The 4 specific strategies stalkers use

According to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center (SPARC), stalker strategies fall under four main categories—Surveillance, Life Invasion, Intimidation, and Interference. The SPARC website offers these specific questions under each category to determine if someone is stalking you:

1) Surveillance = watching and gathering information

Has the offender…

• followed you?

• watched you?

• shown up unexpectedly?

• gone through your mail or trash?

• sought information about you from friends, family, or other acquaintances?

• communicated with you in ways that seemed obsessive or made you concerned for your safety?

• accessed your accounts (for example, social media, online finances)?

• planted a camera, GPS tracker, or other device on your vehicle or in your home?

• used tracking software on your phone, tablet, or computer to track you?

• monitored your activity online?

2) Life Invasion = showing up in your life without the your consent

Has the offender…

• repeatedly initiated unwanted contact with you (for example, repeated phone calls, texts, messages, emails?)

• sent gifts to you or left objects/items for you to find?

• tried to initiate contact with you through third parties?

• spread rumors about you? • humiliated, or tried to humiliate, you in public?

• impersonated you online? • hacked into your accounts?

• harassed friends, family members, or other third parties?

• sent photos of themselves or of you in locations that you frequent?

• invaded your property (like letting themselves into your home or vehicle)?

• shown up at places you frequent (for example, your gym, child’s daycare, grocery store)?

woman peering at a couple from behind a pillarPeople of all genders can be stalkers or victims of stalking.Photo credit: Canva


3) Intimidation = threatening behavior

Has the offender…

• threatened you explicitly or implicitly, in-person or online?

• threatened family, friends, pets, or others that you care about?

• threatened to destroy property, harm pets, or to sabotage you in other ways?

• blackmailed you? • threatened to share/post private information about you unless you perform sexual acts?

• engaged in symbolic violence (like a crushed soda can or burnt doll) that you perceived as a threat?

• threatened to or actually harmed themselves?

• done anything that has intimated, frightened, or alarmed you?

4) Interference = sabotaging or attacking your reputation, employment, physical safety, etc.

Has the offender…

• significantly and directly interfered with your life?

• damaged your property or stolen from you?

• disrupted your professional and/or social life?

• caused you to have a serious accident?

• meddled in online accounts (social media, finances, etc.)?

• posed as you and created harm?

• forcibly kept you from leaving or held you against your will?

• assaulted you while stalking, harassing, or threatening you?

• assaulted your friends, family, or pets, or seriously attacked you in other ways?

• shared with others and/or posted online private photos of you and/or information about you?

You don't have to answer yes to every question in order to confirm you are being stalked—again, you're looking for a pattern of behavior. These strategies overlap, and stalkers will often change their tactics over time. It's easy to think, "Well, they're not doing that," but if there are multiple yeses under multiple categories, it may worth taking a more comprehensive assessment here. 

person on cell phoneCall the police if you feel you are in imminent danger.Photo credit: Canva

What steps should you take if you're being stalked (or suspect you are)?

Let's say you are pretty sure someone is stalking you. What do you do about it?

First of all, if you feel like you are in imminent danger or harm, call 911 immediately. You can also try one of the following advocacy groups who can help you with the resources you need:

Victim Connect (anonymous crime hotline) 1-800-4-VICTIM

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE

But other more general tips for navigating a stalker situation include:

- Trust your instincts. Stalking can be disorienting and other people may or may not be supportive of your concerns. Your safety is more important than other people's perceptions of what's happening.

- Call the police if you feel you are in danger. Tell them about the stalker's actions and behavior and how they are causing you fear.

- Document everything. Keep a record or log of every contact you have with the stalker as well as any police reports you make. SPARC offers a sample log you can use. Keep it in a safe and private place.

- Save evidence as much as you can. Evidence might include emails, texts, photos, social media posts, or physical notes.

- Use tech wisely. Cyberstalking is a crime as well. Do not respond to stalkers online and block them on your phone and social media if possible. Screenshot and save anything they send. If they send threats of violence, sexually explicit message or images or photos/videos taken of you in private places, report them to law enforcement immediately.

Stalking can be a difficult crime for victims to know how to handle, and it's not always easy to get people to believe you when it's happening. But knowing what it is, what it can look like, and what to do if someone stalks you are important so you can start off prepared if it happens.

For more information, see the SPARC Stalking Victim Handbook here and check out stalkingawareness.org.

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Pet behaviorist explains the viral phenomenon of people buying their cats concrete slabs

A pet behaviorist explains why this trend is actually purrfect enrichment.

@annieknowsanimals/TikTok

Cat owners everywhere are shocked to see how much their feline love a simple $2 concrete slab.

If you’ve traipsed through @CatTok over the past few days, you’ve undoubtedly come across various videos of cat parents bringing their feline friends a fairly unusual yet surprisingly effective enrichment tool. We are talking of course about a concrete slab. Yes, you read that right. Not a fancy new scratching post. Not some laser contraption. A cement square. That’s it.

Seriously, folks are going in droves to Home Depot to purchase these unassuming blocks. And every time they present their kitties this new treat, the reactions look something like this:

 
 @shecatcalls PART 2 | Cat enrichment ideas. The way she sits more on this $7 brick than any of the actual cat beds and huts I buy her 😂 Can anyone else relate? 🤦♀️ Video idea inspired by Kurt the Cat @Abram Engle @The Home Depot #creatorsearchinsights #cats #cattok #sillycat #funny #meow ♬ Cute - In Music 
 
 


 
 @renusdelph I bought concrete slabs for my cats #cat #catsoftiktok #orangecat #orangecatbehavior #catlovers #viralcats #funnycat ♬ original sound - Renus Delph 
 
 


 
 @mrmilothechonk I should have bought 3 😂 #foryou #foryoupage #cats #catsoftiktok #viral ♬ Almost forgot that this was the whole point - Take my Hand Instrumental - AntonioVivald 
 
 

The trend seems like it could have been ignited by this orange tabby (named Kurt) below, who loved rolling around on the sidewalk, thus inspiring his owner Abram Engle to see if he'd enjoy a concrete slab just as much. Spoiler alert: he did.

 
 @abrameng Kurt was conking the crete
 ♬ original sound - Abram Engle 
 
 

There have been as many theories as to why kitties go gaga for concrete as there are toy mice under the couch (meaning, a lot). But below, pet behaviorist Dr. Annie gives a few of her hunches as to what's driving this phenomeownon…though she adds the caveat that there haven’t yet been any official studies on it. So it's all based on her educated guesses.

 
 @annieknowsanimals why do cats like concrete? 🤔 here are my thoughts on the latest cat enrichment #trend! vc: @aero.mace #catbehavior #catsoftiktok #cat #cats ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

“First, I think cats are enjoying the concrete slab being brought into their homes because they are new and kind of out of place. There’s probably nothing quite like them already in the home environment,” Dr. Annie says.

This might initially sound counterintuitive, since it’s generally accepted that cats thrive on routine. While this may be true, as Dr. Annie has discussed in previous videos, their "predatory and territorial nature” makes them "sensitive to novelty.” When a toy seems static, it no longer mimics actual live prey, and therefore does not stimulate kitty as it would in nature. Same goes for cat beds and scratching posts, as they’re used to exploring and monitoring their environment. When something “new” appears in their territory, they are very motivated to interact with it.

 
 @annieknowsanimals Replying to @joshtmeadows let’s explain why cats are so sensitive to “new” stuff! @Abram Engle ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

Second, Dr. Annie surmises that the concrete’s porous surface makes it really great for holding onto the cat's scent, which is a key factor in marking a kitty's territory. Again, cat’s really like knowing (or in this case, smelling) what’s theirs. In many videos, you can see cat’s actively rubbing their cheek glands on the slab, Dr. Annie notes.

Also, and probably more of a no-brainer, the concrete surface is very, very fun for scratching! And while we all might know that cats enjoy the tactile pleasure of using their claws, having a part of their environment that they have control over is very fulfilling for their mental health.

Lastly, Dr. Annie confirms what many cat parents assumed, which is that temperature plays a huge role in making the concrete slab cat-friendly. Cats like warmth because they have a higher body temperature, and evolved from creatures that live in warmer climates (like topical jungles, African plains, etc.). If they are seeking a way to raise their temperature—especially in air conditioned homes—a concrete slab that’s been soaking up the sun is a great way to do so.

Thank you Dr. Annie for that fascinating deep dive. Those all seem like pretty solid theories. And while we might not ever get actual studies on this, there’s yet another fact that becomes abundantly clear: cat parents will go above and beyond to make their fur babies happy. Even if that means taking on a job in construction for free concrete.

For even more fantastic cat facts, give Dr. Annie a follow on TikTok.

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Sales for GoodPop are surging after husband's obsession over watermelon flavor goes viral

The story of this full blown love affair over a simple popsicle is a must-watch.

Photo credit: Canva

Sometimes when the taste hits, it really hits.

A big part of marriage—or simply living with another person—means learning to love the little quirks of the person we're coexisting with. Be it their routines, hygienic habits (or lack thereof) or strange obsessions.

For Eli McMann, that meant embracing his husband’s years-long, uncontrollable compulsion for GoodPop watermelon-flavored popsicles.

“He tried them, and was like, ‘this is the best thing I’ve ever had in my entire life,’” McMann recalls in a now-viral TikTok.

 


After that fateful moment, McMann noticed his husband eating “ridiculous” amounts of these watermelon popsicles (the GoodPop brand, specifically). Their freezer was filled “to the brink,” the house would be riddled with used popsicle sticks… McMann's husband even commandeered the freezers of all of their friends as well, just in case they happened to be there and a craving struck.

 

Eventually McMann thought to himself “is there a problem? Am I supposed to have an intervention?” He went to X trying to get answers as to how these frozen treats could have taken over their lives, which unfortunately only inspired curiosity in other folks who decided they too must try this tantalizing watermelon popsicle.

Lo and behold, the trend took off so much that GoodPop reached out to McCann, specifically thanking him (well, his husband, rather) for causing their sales to skyrocket across the country, and even offered to send them some free merch.

“It’s been amazing to see so many new people discover GoodPop in such a real, unscripted and joyful way," GoodPop's Founder/CEO Daniel Goetz tells Upworthy. "We’ve been doing this for 15 years - crafting feel-good frozen treats with integrity - and to see all this love come to life has been so incredibly humbling and exciting."

And that just makes this hilarious story even sweeter when you learn more about the fact that GoodPop is a pretty cool company with real people behind it trying to make a positive impact in the world.

"I’m so happy for everyone this impacts - from to our Texas watermelon farmers, to our team that cuts the melons, to our nonprofit partners across the country - we we are all able to share in this viral moment," Goetz added.

And now, McCann’s husband is practically their new brand ambassador, wearing all the branded hats, shirts, gloves, etc, everywhere he goes. They of course also send boxes upon boxes of popsicles for them to sample. If McCann thought GoodPop was taking over his life before…

 


 

Little did they know that soon, their popsicle luck would run out. About three minutes into the video, McMann shares that a few days prior, his husband let out a blood curdling scream from the other room. Worried something had happened with their baby, he rushed into the other room only to find the real reason behind the scream: their grocery store would no longer carry his husband’s drug of choice. In fact, no surrounding stores would carry them either. Naturally, this sent McMann’s husband into a “full blown spiral.”

“This man spent the better part of two hours calling grocery stores within a fifty mile radius," McMann said. Eventually he found one a mere twenty miles away, and began planning how he could make regular excursions out to buy the popsicles in bulk.

“I am not a religious man, but I am begging you people to pray for us,” McCann concludes.

 


GoodPop, of course, seized the opportunity to deepen its bond with its number one fan. In a subsequent series of videos, we see a GoodPop delivery driver supposedly pedaling some boxes all the way from GoodPop headquarters in Austin,TX to Salt Lake City, where McMann and his husband live. The company even changed their TikTok bio to read “Eli’s husband’s favorite pop.” In an exceedingly ironic twist of fate, a photo of McMann begrudgingly holding a watermelon popsicle is now GoodPop’s profile pic, making him more of a mascot for the brand than his husband.

 
 @goodpop We’re on our way! Stay tuned and follow our journey to get pops to Eli’s husband! 🍉💨 . #popsicleemergency #goodpop #watermelonpopsicle #goodpoppopsicle #goodpopwatermelon #watermelonpop ♬ original sound - GoodPop 
 
 

In a time when companies seem more and more out of touch with the people they supposedly serve, and when the internet seems to continuously disconnect us, moments like this feel all the more special. McCann certainly didn’t share this little story about his husband’s popsicle obsession in order to go viral, but viral went nonetheless, making so many emotionally invested in a product they might have otherwise never known of. In turn, GoodPop could have simply used the viral video to promote their products, but instead established an actual human relationship. Just a little dose of TikTok using its powers for good.

By the way, even if watermelon flavor isn’t your thing, GoodPop has other delicious flavors, along with a ton of other tasty, good-for-you treats, like ice cream sandwiches, orange creamsicles, Mickey Mouse pops, and more. Check out their website here.

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A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong'. Professional artists disagreed.

Someone is wrong in this story, but it's not the 6-year-old.

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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Californians aren’t holding back on their delightful love-hate relationship with Gavin Newsom

“He’s a demon, but he’s OUR demon.”

Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr

Californians love-hate relationship with Gavin Newsom is comedy gold

Gavin Newsom is a name most people know whether they live in California or not. But in case you're new here, Gavin Newsom is the governor of California, which is essentially like being the president of a country given the size of the state. Due to his role, good looks and politics on many things, he's an easily recognizable figure that is often romanticized.

Of course the romanticization could be because he looks more like a movie star than a governor but the people who live within the state he governs have feelings about people's infatuation with him. Everything is often rose colored when you're outside looking in. When Californians started taking to social media to explain their relationship with the governor, the average social media user was unprepared.

  Gavin Newsom; Gavin Newsom Trump; California governor; California; Gavin; Newsom; love-hate Gavin NewsomPhoto by Frederic Poirot/Flickr

The conversation first started in comment sections of people from states with problematic leaders making swooning videos over Newsom's handling of political attacks on his state. Comment sections became flooded with Californians expressing very conflicting responses within a singular sentence. When pressed for a better explanation on why his constituents didn't like him but also felt passionately about their like for him, the responses became comical.

"Gavin Newsom is Godzilla in the movies where he's on your side against another kaijuu but still has beef with us," one person writes.

 
 @squid.hat i’m new to california but y’all crack me UP!! see u saturday!!
 ♬ original sound - Flawed Mangoes 
 
 

"He may be a monster, but he is our monster," another says.

"The enemy of my enemy is technically, my friend, if my friend was also evil and not a good person and also my enemy," someone laments.

What is it exactly that Gavin Newsom has done to make people love to hate him? No one ever really says explicitly what it is. In the current context of America, it seems that people dislike him due to his swift shift on homeless encampments in California. Once the United States Supreme Court ruled that states were legally allowed to fine and jail people experiencing homelessness, Newsom reversed course on the protections homeless individuals had in California.

 
 @fatgirlfab We love to hate but he is ours. #gavinnewsom #california #funny #jokess ♬ This Is Your Man - Steve Wilkos Show 
 
 

The phrase, "Gavin Newsom hates two things, Republicans and homeless people, and he's all out of homeless people" has appeared multiple times under videos of him roasting political opponents. But for some people, the love-hate relationship started much earlier in Newsom's political career. In 2003, the then 36-year-old Newsom was elected mayor of San Francisco and while his policies were progressive, he knocked plenty of things over and put his feet up on the political coffee table.

People accused him of being more focused on his public image than his actual job. Given that he looks like he could be on the cover of a romance novel, it was probably easy to lean into that notion while discounting the good he was trying to do. Granted, a young Newsom didn't help muffle the criticism with the choices he was making in his personal life like marrying television commentator and lawyer Kimberly Guilfoyle, posing for fashion magazine spreads and lashing out at the media according to San Francisco Chronicle.

 
 @traceyh415 I just want to provide a little bit of background on why some California folks are not praising him for his current actions. They are burnt out by his policies.
 ♬ original sound - Traceyh415 
 
 

While there doesn't seem to be much talk about Newsom attempting to project a Hollywood perfect image nowadays, people still love to hate him.

"Republicans are afraid of Gavin Newsom but so are we kinda," someone says.

"Gavin Newsom cares about people in the way that vampires care about their food source," one creator relays.

"Gavin Newsom the typa guy to protect you from other people's wrongdoings just so HE can be the one to ruin your life" another writes.

 
 @hannynutcheerios he is a bit of a petty psycho but at least he’s OUR petty psycho #gavinnewsom #toxicboyfriend #california ♬ original sound - hanny 
 
 

"He’s like a well groomed well fed cat and we are just the house mice he allows to stay bc he is bored." one person jokes.

"Existing under Newsom is like driving by a cop that already has somebody pulled over, like 'oh thank god, he's already busy'" a commenter laughs.

One person reminds others that it's a good thing to criticize politicians, "like yes we're joking about it, but also this is exactly how we SHOULD be acting about our politicians. applaud and support when they do things we agree with, but never ever forget the ways they can turn on us."

 
 @herphotosherwords He’s our Zaddy 🤭 #gavinnewsom #newsom #governornewsome #zaddy #fineasf🥵 #california #fuck🧊 #losangeles ♬ Pony - Ginuwine 
 
 

Is Gavin Newsom upping his public presence because he's planning a 2028 run for president? Eh, probably. But based on the thirst trap videos people are creating of California's governor, people may be willing to overlook the hate part of Californians' relationship with him. One woman admits, "I want this man to lead America just so we get to see him often."

When it comes to this oxymoronic relationship, one Californian wraps up the sentiment, "Patrick Bateman of democrats is sending me. We have a love-hate relationship with Gavin and right now it's love!! Thank you for having our backs like a leader!!"

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Woman uses funny 'man on the street' interviews with guys to explain how the estrogen patch works

"If men had to go through perimenopause, we'd have hormone therapy in vending machines."

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A woman puts on her estrogen patch. A man looks baffled.

Women going through menopause or perimenopause are learning quickly that not everyone understands what we're dealing with. Which makes sense—it’s confusing even for us, let alone those who can't physically relate.

Luckily, lots of women are willing to teach. Just recently we shared the story of a woman who built the "We Do Not Care" club as a community for those experiencing this "change" in both physical and emotional ways. Our priorities have shifted. Things we once cared about, like "wearing the right bra" on errands, no longer seem that important.

Another woman on Instagram, Beth Crosby (@garbagemom), is taking it up a notch and just so happens to also be a proud member of the WDNC club. In a sponsored clip entitled "Explaining Perimenopause to Dudes," she approaches people on the street with a microphone. For her first interaction, she whips out an estrogen patch and explains to a guy, "This is an estrogen patch." She shows it to the camera as she continues, "This has saved my entire life." She then illustrates how to put it on. "This goes on my butt…"

The man has questions. "So you do this in public?" Similarly to our friends in the We Do Not Care club, Crosby answers, "I don't even give a F anymore. I'm over 40, nothing matters." She reassures him, "Don't be embarrassed," and he cheekily replies, "I'm embarrassed FOR you." She ignores this and puts it on while narrating, "And you put it close to your butt," which she then slaps. "Ah, that's the good stuff."

Next up, she talks to a woman and asks, "If men had to have periods and go through perimenopause…?" The woman quickly interjects, "We'd have hormone therapy in a vending machine." Crosby concurs. "Period."

 vending machine, hormone therapy, The Office, chips Dwight digs through a vending machine on The Office.  Giphy Peacock. NBC 

She explains to another guy, "I take estrogen and I smear it all over my face." He replies, "No you don't. Are you kidding me?" She confirms that yes, indeed, and in fact, "People put it on their vagina. Your vagina shrivels up during perimenopause." He lets an audible "yikes" and then nods and says, "Here we go, okay. Now we're in it."

Lastly, she cuts to a man who inquires, "Wasn't there like a pill or something?" To which Crosby assures, "There is help. I have been seeing an online clinic called Midi Health. They've been incredible. They've prescribed hormone replacement therapy for me and also some supplements, like holistic supplements."

Now switching between people, she explains, "So if you know any women in their mid-40s, just be really nice to them. They've got a lot going on. Thank you!" As she leaves, he—in jest—says, "Good luck with your shriveled self." She turns to the camera while sad clown music plays. He softens it up, "Maybe yours isn't though?" To which Crosby hilariously responds, "It is. Let's just be honest, it is."

Crosby makes it clear she's in a paid partnership with @midihealth, but Upworthy reached out to her and she shares that she's truly a huge fan. "It's been a game changer for me."

She also explains, specifically, how hormones have helped. "I suddenly started getting super anxious, and as someone who has dealt with anxiety my entire life, THIS anxiety felt different. It felt physical. So I finally checked out MIDI health and got prescribed HRT, estrogen (the patch) and progesterone. It was a game changer. I know it sounds dramatic and that's because it was! I'm sleeping a million times better, and my anxiety feels manageable."

The comments were extremely supportive, with one pointing out, "Educating the masses." Crosby responds, "Someone's gotta do it!"

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