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Parenting

His daughter crashed on a skate ramp. His response was a masterclass in awesome parenting.

He perfectly balanced empathy, encouragement, and empowerment.

Photo credit: Canva

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to react in the moment.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

good mom, good parentingIt's always good to see examples of stellar parenting.Giphy GIF by ABC Network

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. In 2022, he was teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared an exchange he had with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Watch:

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuck-asaurus" video in which she offered delightfully colorful commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

skateboarding girl, skateboard dadPractice makes perfect.Giphy

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

dad on skateboard, kids skating, parentingParents often set the tone for how kids react.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

courage, parental encouragementEncouragement is part of how kids gain courage.Giphy Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's ongoing family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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The 13 signs that someone is 'dangerously good' at reading people

"You feel comfortable talking to them, and you find yourself sharing things with them that you don’t typically share."

via Canva/Photos

A woman enjoying a conversation while drinking wine.

Some people are just naturally good at reading others. They pick up on subtle cues, body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions that go over other people’s heads. They are adept at seeing past other people's words and cuing into the energy or emotions behind them.

People who are great at reading others have a significant advantage in being creative, building relationships, and building teams. But where does it come from? Why does it seem like some people have an extra social muscle that others just don’t?

Some posit that people who are adept at reading others often come from backgrounds where they grew up with chaotic parents or family members. To preserve themselves, they become keen observers of subtle clues to protect themselves against abusive outbursts.

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This makes them excellent students of tone of voice, body language, and emotional states so that they can defend themselves.

abusive dad, angy dad, man drinking coffee, man in a robe, man pointingAn angry man in his kitchen.via Canva/Photos

To those who aren’t brilliant at reading others, these people’s skills seem mysterious at best. So, a Reddit user posed a question to the AskReddit forum to see what other people have noticed about people who are great at reading others. “What's a sign that someone is dangerously good at reading people?” they asked. They received over 1,300 replies, and we compiled the best.

Here are 13 signs that someone is “dangerously good” at reading people.

1. You immediately overshare

"You feel comfortable talking to them and you find yourself sharing things with them you don’t typically share."

2. They're hard to read

"They themselves are typically hard to read."

"Or better yet people think they are reading you and know you but all they know is what you want them to think they know."

3. They're neutral observers

"Observe the person. It helps if you’re naturally empathetic. You can tell when they’re being sincere or when there’s motivation. You can hear it in their voice when they’re nervous, jealous, or uncomfortable. You can see it in their face. You can feel when their energy pauses, dips, or spikes. The key is to be neutral yourself. If you’re not invested in the outcome of the interaction at all, you can read others better."

"My mom is the one who tipped me off to this. She said it was the key to learning about our lives when we were preteens and teens. She said she was careful not to ever react in big ways to anything we said, especially if it was negative, because if she did we would be more likely to stop providing info. If she acted neutral, we’d keep talking."


woman, wine, party, conversation, social event, formal eventA woman having a good conversation.via Canva/Photos


4. They had unpredictable parents

"Some people who grew up with unpredictable parents become hyper-observant of micro-expressions. When coupled with empathy and a good memory, they can ask good questions at the right time, or pick up on unspoken emotions (or intentions/danger). This can be a blessing and a curse."

"This is exactly how I got good at reading people. If I found myself unable to predict what my father was going to do next, there's a good chance bad things happen to me. It's born out of necessity."

5. They know you before you open your mouth

"They clock your mood or thoughts before you’ve even said anything. They would ask really specific questions. Not nosy, just oddly on point. Also, watch how fast they adjust. You’re all fired up, and they’re calm and grounding."

6. They're accurate

"When they say something about you that you’ve never told anyone, but it’s scarily accurate... like ?? How do you know that, that’s when you know they’re built different."

7. They may sabotage themselves

"People who are highly intuitive, very observant and understands people dynamics usually at the expense of knowing themselves well at times."

"OH MY GOD. This. This this this. This is exactly my wife who is by far the best people person I've ever seen...and she's terrible at understanding herself or solving her own problems."


man and woman, man in suit, serious conversation, talking with hands, blonde manA man and woman in deep conversation. via Canva/Photos

8. They understand receptivity

"Children and animals like and trust them. They are constantly aware of the receptivity levels of others."

9. They ask the right questions

"When they ask lots of questions to people, especially when they’re based off observations.

You usually don’t ___ and i see now you’re ___, is everything alright?

Since you’ve been dating your partner, I’ve noticed _____. What’s up?

I’ve noticed when you feel like ____ you usually do _____, and you’ve been doing ____ lots recently, how come?

NEVER in a way which sounds or is judgemental, is always evidence based, and as a result people are often willing to open up and elaborate more without fear of being judged. My friends do this and I try so hard to learn from them."


10. They don't show it

"One of the biggest signs that someone is exceptionally skilled at reading people is that they don’t show it. People who are truly skilled observers mask their awareness and let others underestimate them while they quietly collect insight. They downplay their intuition and pretend to guess poorly. Also, they ask or say things that are psychologically strategic."

11. You don't know them, but they know you

"You feel super close to them, very comfortable sharing anything with them and consider them a close friend. In retrospect, you realize you know next to nothing about them beyond the surface."

12. They can make friends with anyone

"I had a friend who was insanely good at reading people. He once told me 'if I want you to be my friend, you will.' I believed it too. He could be friends with anyone."

"That's kinda creepy ngl, smacks of the Machiavellian type more than the empathetic type."

13. You're afraid to lie around them

"You feel like you’re talking to a raven and you’re scared to lie."

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A man who was born blind describes how he perceives of colors and it's mind-bending

"How can the sky and ice be the same color?”

The Tommy Edison Experience/YouTube

How does a person who is born blind conceive of color?

People who are born blind have a very different relationship with the world than those who were born sighted, even if they lose their ability to see at some later point in life. People born blind take in the world with their other senses—touch, sound, smell, taste—but certain things, like color, can only be experienced and understood through eyesight.

When you've never had sight, you have no reference for color other than what people tell you. Grass is green. Lemons are yellow. Stop signs are red. But what green, yellow, and red actually look like is impossible to explain. And the fact that different colors can evoke different feelings in people—blue being soothing or red being alarming—means nothing to a person who's never seen them.

colors, color wheel, paint colors, blind person, visionHow do you explain color to a blind person?Photo credit: Canva

Tommy Edison was born blind and shares what life is like for him as a blind person on his YouTube channel, The Tommy Edison Experience. Edison's candid, open sharing has helped millions of people understand life for blind people a little bit better, and his good-natured demeanor has earned him a devoted following.

How do blind people understand color?

In one video, Edison shares that colors are something sighted people are often most curious about. How do you understand something you've never seen and can't really be described? "Being blind since birth, I've never seen color," he says. "I don't have any concept of what it is. I've never seen anything. But there's this whole part of vocabulary, of language, that doesn't mean anything to me."

He likened it to trying to explain what the sound of the ocean or the sound of birds chirping is like to someone who's never heard. "No concept. None," he shares. He says people often try to explain a sense with another sense, like, "This color smells like [blank]." That still doesn't mean anything.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

He knows that a stoplight is red or that "in the red" means you're in financial trouble, simply from things he's heard. But he still doesn't know what red looks like. "Blue is the water. Cold or ice is blue. The sky is blue," he says. "Now how can the sky and ice be the same thing? That's weird to me. Same color means two completely different things. I don't get it."

How about orange? "I know nothing rhymes with orange," he says. "Way to go, orange. Way to be involved in poetry and song." He understands black and white as opposites, but still no idea what either of them look like.

"And then there are things that don't have color, like water," he says. "It doesn't have color, but the ocean does. I don't get that. Color is hard." Color is hard to explain to someone who's never seen colors, since it's 100% a visual concept.

Edison did try an experiment to see if he could guess the colors of Magic Markers based on what he knows about color associations and scents. Unfortunately, Magic Marker scents aren't spot-on representations of what they're supposed to smell like, so it was tricky. He predicted he'd get half of them correct, four out of eight.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And he did. The fact that he mentioned a white marker at the end is interesting. We all know white Magic Markers don't exist, but how would he know that? Color really is hard. Edison's thoughts on color got people pondering and trying to "see" things from his perspective, which is, of course, almost as impossible as trying to describe color to a blind person.

"My neurons started working so hard to think how to explain a blind human what is 'a colour.'"

"It's like us trying to imagine a dimension beyond 3D."

"Color is like the tasting of seeing, it just gives objects extra 'flavor' instead of being dull."

colors, colorblind glasses, black and white, blind person seeing colors, color conceptColors add visual "flavor" to what we see.Photo credit: Canva

"You know what makes my brain tie itself in a knot? Trying to understand how he imagines or thinks of objects. I mean, when someone says 'big car' to me, I immediately visualize it. The more info, the clearer the image. Big, blue, rusty van. With a broken mirror. You 'see' that, upon reading it, right? But how does he 'see' it in his mind? Does his memory of having felt the shape of a car 'paint a picture' of a shape that he recollects? How could it, when he has no concept of seeing any picture, ever.. Lets put it like this; if someone asks me to think of the shape of an object, I have no other way of thinking about it but visualizing it's shape. Think of three wooden unpainted, rough poles, in the shape of the letter H. Sure, you can imagine feeling the splinter-riddled surfaces and how you run your hands across the shape that forms and H.. But you can't stop yourself from visualizing it.. Can you? Just... I can't understand how something can be visualized, with no concept of visuals. His mind is as much a mystery to us as ours is to him on these matters."

"The way he thinks about colors is like how we think what is in his head. It’s hard to imagine."

Trying to see different perspectives is a valuable exercise in general, but trying to see the perspective of someone who can't see can help us truly expand our capacity for empathy and understanding.

Find more videos on The Tommy Edison Experience on YouTube.

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A woman accidentally said, 'Love you!' to an important client. His response was perfect.

He even followed up with a heartwarming e-mail.

Photo credit: Canva

Saying "I love you!" by accident is one of life's most cringe moments.

For many of us, telling our friends and family that we love them is second nature. Every time someone leaves the house, "Love you!" Before bed at night, "Love you!" Getting off a call with them, "Love you!"

That's all well and good until that sweetly ingrained habit spills over into your work life. Especially when you're talking to an important client, where the boundaries of professional conduct are particularly important to uphold. (Do you feel the cringe coming?)

I Love You Elf GIF by MOODMANGiphy

A woman shared an oh-so-human story about absent-mindedly telling a client she loved him, and his thoughtful response has people cheering.

"Accidentally said 'Love you!' at the end of a call with an important client yesterday," wrote a Reddit user. "I heard him giggle as I hung up, and I was mortified. Today, I saw he emailed me this:"

The email began, "Hey—Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to laugh at you when you accidentally signed off on our call with a 'love you.' I just found it funny because I've definitely done that before, and I know it happens."

Okay, phew, he understood that the laughing was mortifying and he wasn't bothered by the "love you." But then he added the absolute best thing he could have said about the situation:

"I'm glad you have enough love in your life that that response comes naturally. If anything, you should be proud of that. :)"

Then he mercifully resumed their professional conversation. "Have a great weekend! We'll follow up about my call with Chris on Wednesday, as discussed."

embarrassing story, saying I love you on accident, workplace stories, professional communication"Love you!" Oops.Photo credit: Canva

He didn't just ignore the elephant in the room and let it hang over her like an awkward cloud. He put her at ease, letting her know he's done it before and it happens and is no big deal. But then he took it a step further, adding a deeper human layer to the moment by acknowledging the fact that the words flowing so automatically and easily for her meant she was surrounded by love.

The client's emotional intelligence and thoughtful response warmed people's hearts.

"What a great and respectful response. He is completely right, it’s such a beautiful thing to have that much love in your life that it comes out naturally."

"You work with good people."

"Honestly, this made my day 😂 It's so wholesome how they responded. Shows that a little kindness (even accidental) always leaves a good impression!"

"Such a classy response. Made you feel at ease while staying professional and moving the conversation forward."

"Green flags from that client."

Green Flag GIF by The Last Talk ShowGiphy

People also shared their own similar experiences with blurting out accidental "love you"s and it was a veritable love-fest:

"I told my supervisor I loved her at the end of our weekly touch point call - she chuckled and said she loved me too. We shared a good laugh. I am happy to see empathy from a random human, it is much needed."

"I said 'love you' to my new boss at labcorp when she called me to tell me I passed my drug test. Same thing, hanging up, not thinking, she gave me my results and my start date to come in for orientation and I ended the call with 'bye love you!'"

"Back in the day I straight up called one of my bosses mom. It was so embarrassing I almost died."

"A surprising number of people have done this at least once. Happens when you’re distracted and tired. My ex husband (a prosecutor) accidentally ended a phone call with 'I love you' when talking to a rural county sheriff in the middle of the night."

Embarrassed Hide GIF by florGiphy

"I had a coworker say 'love you,' just as we were about to hang up. There was an awkward pause, clearly neither of us had hung up, then he added, 'Don’t tell my wife.' We both laughed and finally disconnected."

"I did that with my ex husband last Thursday, we both burst out laughing lol. Happily we get along great and he and his fiancée are attending my wedding next week."

"Was on phone with my boss right after he had called his wife. He ended the call with "love you." Had so much fun telling him that while I cared for him, I didn't think it was love."

Embarrassing moments don't have to ruin your day—in fact, when handled like this client, they can turn into beautiful moments of human connection. This kind of relatability, empathy, and emotional intelligence makes us all feel better about our shared humanity, oopsies and all.

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