upworthy

empathy

Disability

Host of 'Survivor' stuns viewers with respectful gesture toward contestant with a stutter

"I'm so thankful you asked that."

SurvivorCBS/Instagram

It costs nothing to be kind.

Reality TV isn't usually the place you go to see great examples of kindness and empathy. But that's exactly what happened on NBC just the other night in a brief moment of humanity wedged in-between all the usual conniving and backstabbing.

Over 80 million people worldwide live with a stutter. It's more common in childhood and many people will outgrow it as they get older, but millions of adults live with this speech disorder. One of them is a man named Mitch Guerra, who just so happens to be a contestant on the latest season of Survivor. Just his presence on the show is bringing so much awareness to an under-discussed and commonly misunderstood disability.

Survivor host Jeff Probst is getting universal praise for the way he handled an interaction with Guerra in a recent episode.

gif of Survivor host saying, "I'll go tally the votes."Jeff ProbstGiphy

In a clip shared on the official Survivor Instagram account, Probst and Guerra share a short but powerful moment.

"Mitch, I have a question," Probst asks after Guerra finishes a sentence with some difficulty. "When you're struggling, do you want help from someone? Or is part of it to let you finish when you're ready to finish."

The question is natural, honest, and refreshing. A lot of people can relate to the genuine confusion—is it better to fill in the blanks for someone who's struggling to speak, or be patient and let them finish when they're having a hard time?

"The hope is that everyone would just kind of hang in there for me and just give me the opportunity to finish my sentence," Guerra answers. "But I'm so thankful you asked that, because people just naturally want to help others, and sometimes we don't feel comfortable enough asking that. So thank you for that."

"Thank you for teaching us how to do it," Probst says.

For what it's worth, the experts say Guerra is exactly right. Friends and allies of people who stutter should maintain eye contact, avoid suggestions or words of encouragement ("Take your time" is not helpful), and wait patiently for the person to finish speaking rather than trying to finish their sentences for them.

Watch the heartwarming interaction here:

Viewers are applauding Probst for his empathetic curiosity, and appreciating Guerra for representing the stuttering community so well.

Over a million people viewed the Reel on Instagram, and the comment section quickly got emotional:

"Super interesting how in answering that, his speech settled - like just being asked how to help relaxed him so that he wasn’t worrying about finishing. Might be coincidence but lovely to see someone asking"

"As a momma with a child who stutters, I loved seeing this moment. Our kiddo has been stuttering since around age 6, now he’s 17 and still struggles with it. Even after after many years of speech therapy. The one thing we learned is just let them continue to talk and don’t try and help with completing the sentences. Mitch is right, just hang in there and let them finish!"

"I have his same stutter so this really hit home for me. It is SO much better (for me personally) when someone just waits out my stutters with me and stays engaged. There’s been so many times where people try to guess what I want to say (often incorrectly) or seemingly lose interest in what I have to say and it makes me feel so rushed and belittled for something I can’t control. I love Mitch so much and he’s really been helping me get over my fear of applying due to my stutter."

"This has literally been one of the most thought provoking and beautiful moments in recent Survivor history. I never considered how our attempts at wanting to be kind and help someone finish their sentence could make them feel less than. THIS was such a powerful interaction and I’m so grateful he had the opportunity to voice this this. Truly beautiful."

One user pointed out that not only was this a beautiful interaction between two people, but the fact that it occurred in front of such a big audience means the small moment could have a big impact in educating people all over the globe.

"Just like that a bunch of people are now informed how to address a situation like that"

Disabilities tend to make us uncomfortable. Even the most well-meaning people can twist themselves into knots not knowing how best to empathetically approach a situation where another person is struggling, and we might feel like it's rude or inconsiderate to ask. But that fear ultimately holds us back from a deeper understanding of what people are going through and how we can help. Kudos to Probst and Guerra for showing us what an honest and empathetic conversation can and should look like.

empathy
Health

Rabbi explains why empathy and social anxiety so often go hand in hand

This makes so much sense.

Photo credit: Canva

Highly social situations can be overwhelming for empaths.

Some people get invited to a party and immediately look forward to the fun time. Others get invited to a party and are filled with immediate dread.

Those who dread parties may struggle with social anxiety—an intense fear of social situations. Social anxiety takes many forms, but very few people who deal with it find the idea of socializing in a large group of people fun or exciting. They may want to find it exciting, but parties that energize and fulfill the extroverts among us tend to drain the introverts, and those with social anxiety often fare even worse.

Rabbi Shais Taub gave an explanation for why some people experience social anxiety in such situations, and it's resonating with a whole lot of people who see themselves in it.

People with high empathy may find themselves more socially anxious

The reason why many people have social anxiety–this is not for everyone, but many people—is because they are so sensitive to other people's energies. For them, to be in a crowded room is like being in a room with 100 radios on, all playing different stations at the same time. In other words, there are some people who are, let's call it 'empathic,' who feel everybody's energy, and being in that presence is draining. They leave a social experience feeling exhausted."

He explains that it's not that those people don't want to have human interactions, it's that the price of those interactions in energy expenditure very high.

Many people felt seen and also wondered if there was a way to "turn it off":

"I can even feel what others are thinking."

"That's me. And people always come and tell me their problems, then I get more overwhelmed."

"This is so me! I’m a nurse also and I absolutely love what I do but by the end of my day I want to be left alone! I carry all these energies with me and feel so bad for everyone. And it gets so heavy for me to carry."

"This is me! I’m an empath and have a son on the spectrum. I have a masters degree in mental health counseling but am too afraid to become a counselor because I think it will drain me. I feel stuck. Your post makes a lot of sense to me."

"💯 exhausted after social moments. I’m a teacher & I sleep after work. I have nothing left to give."

"I feel that, then when I get home I literally fall asleep because I'm exhausted. Even people with good energy makes me tired, but not as much as people with negative energy, I feel everything. 😩"

"Yea it sucks.. most people don't understand. Sometimes it's even just texting too much. I'll put my phone away and see you next week lol"

Is there actual evidence that being an empath and experiencing social anxiety go hand in hand?

According to a 2018 study, yes—at least for people with a specific combination of empathic tendencies.

Researchers share that there are two main types of empathy:

Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand what other people are feeling. People high in cognitive empathy are able to put themselves into someone else's shoes emotionally, even if they aren't actually feeling what they're feeling.

Affective (or emotional) empathy is the ability to actually feel what other people are feeling. Empaths tend to be high in affective empathy and take on the feelings of those around them.

The study, which examined over 400 adolescents, found that those with low cognitive empathy experience higher rates of social anxiety, and people with low cognitive empathy but high affective empathy experienced more severe social anxiety. Rabbi Taub's explanation aligns with this finding that taking on people feelings (or energies as he describes it) equates to greater levels of social anxiety.

via GIPHY

Additionally, as Healthline points out, having low cognitive empathy but high affective empathy also means that you're sensing people's feelings without necessarily understanding why they are what they are. This might lead to mistaken assumptions that the other person's feelings are about you, making you feel more anxious about a social interaction.

Not all studies on empathy and social anxiety have shown the same results, so we could definitely use some more research in this area. Anecdotally, however, people who are both empathic and socially anxious are feeling the connection between the two and appreciate having what they experience laid out so clearly.

You can follow Rabbit Shais Taub on Instagram.


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Education

A college student who was fed up with his classmate has gone viral for calling out his own ignorance

Don't judge a book by its cover.

You know that feeling you get when you walk into a classroom and see someone else's stuff on your desk?

OK, sure, there are no assigned seats, but you've been sitting at the same desk since the first day and everyone knows it.

So why does the guy who sits next to you put his phone, his book, his charger, his lunch, and his laptop in the space that's rightfully yours? It's annoying.


All you want to do was walk in, sit down, get out your notebook and (try to) pay attention. But now? Now you've got to talk to a stranger about moving their stuff and there goes your day, already bogged down with petty annoyances.

Sound familiar? It should.

We've all got so much to do these days that interacting with people we see every day — not our friends, but our classmates, fellow commuters, co-workers, the people in line for coffee with us every day — can feel like a burden.

So, when these people do something we perceive as annoying, like putting their stuff on our desks, we don't have the time or the energy to assume their intentions or think about the lives they're leading.

But if we stepped out of ourselves for a second, we might just realize that we're all much more connected than we think, that our preconceived notions of others are usually just that — preconceived. And, often, inaccurate.

That's why this Twitter story about a guy who learned an important life lesson from a classmate he was frustrated with is going viral.

It's the perfect example of that "don't judge a book by its cover" adage we should have all learned in preschool but sometimes forget. And it starts the exact same way as this post — with a college student groaning on the inside as he sees someone's stuff on his desk.





If not for this one day running late, McFall may have never realized what his classmate was trying to do. And he may have continued to think of him as annoying, maybe telling others about "the weird guy who was always trying to take up my space"... when all the guy was really trying to do was be kind.

We all misinterpret the actions of others sometimes. It's easy to do that!

But if there's one thing this story reminds us, it's that it's important to stop and remember that while you're living your life, other people are living theirs, so assuming best intentions can do us a great favor.

That's why we should step outside of our bubbles and engage with the world on a regular basis.

You could make a new friend. You might brighten someone's day.

But most importantly, getting out of your own head, checking your own biases, and giving others the benefit of the doubt will make you a more compassionate person.

You don't have to engage with everyone you meet, but the next time someone smiles and offers you a high-five?

Maybe just take them up on it.


This article was originally published on April 16, 2018.

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Science

Florida meteorologist applauded for getting emotional in live coverage of Hurricane Milton

People are finding John Morales' genuine empathy refreshing, and very much needed.

Photo credit: NASA (public domain), NBC 6 South Florida/YouTube

“I apologize — this is just horrific,” said John Morales during live coverage of Hurricane Milton.

Venerated meteorologist John Morales couldn’t help but get choked up during his report on the potentially devastating impact of Hurricane Milton closing in on Florida—a mere two weeks after being pummeled by Hurricane Helene.

“It’s just an incredible, incredible, incredible hurricane,” Morales began, the weather forecast map almost completely in red.

Tears welled up in his eyes as Morales tried to notify viewers that “it has dropped 50 millibars in 10 hours.”

To most of us, those wouldn’t mean anything. But the anguish in Morales’s voice says it all.

Trying to gain composure, Morales quickly said, “I apologize — this is just horrific,” and continued with his broadcast offscreen, showing just the water map. His voice was still noticeably shaken.

We live in a 24-hour new cycle, which has made us aware of so many global catastrophes and also desensitized to them. But when moments like this happen, when even our ever-stoic messengers are so moved that it also touches us on an emotional level, we are reminded that what happens to one of us, happens to all of us.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

That's probably why so many people commented to commend Morales for showing a bit of humanity—which they found particularly refreshing for a news anchor.

"Please don't apologize. Showing some empathy shows you care and aren't fear mongering. <3 We appreciate it."

"No apology is ever needed for being human and showing what we see so little of these days: genuine empathy. Thank you, sir."

"Your kindness and humanity are not a weakness, but the strength that we all need right now. Thank you."

"No apologies needed sir...for someone to show real emotions for other people...is real concern, real caring."

"He showed a vanishingly rare moment of authenticity and actual empathy, in an incredibly cynical and ugly world - a beautiful thing to see in this scary time. As someone whose family lives in the area that is about to be pummeled by this storm, I am very grateful to him for his decency and humanity in the face of this possible horror that my family are facing. He deserves SO much credit for this beautiful display of transparency and empathy - though he obviously didn't do it for the credit but rather, out of empathy."

"I debated whether to share this. I did apologize on the air," Morales would later post on X.

He also urged folks to read his coverage of the relationships between climate change and extreme weather on The Bulletin, calling these recent hurricanes are “harbingers of the future.”

Global warming has changed me. Frankly, YOU should be shaken too," he wrote.

If a professional of 35 years is saying this…yikes.

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