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Woman who lost her 'pretty privilege' overnight says it changed how she saw everyone

She went from the center of attention to "invisible."

via Canva/Photos

A smiling blonde woman.

There is something extremely unfair about people born with great genetics who are extremely good-looking. Sure, some folks can improve their looks after putting in some work at the gym or learning how to present themselves. but many people we consider conventionally attractive hit the jackpot by simply being born that way.

With little effort, these people have an incredible social advantage in life. They are seen as morally virtuous, receive random favors, are always the center of attention, and are more likely to get raises and promotions at work. The funny thing is that those with pretty privilege don’t realize the incredible advantage they have until it's gone.

What happens when people lose their pretty privilege?

A woman on Reddit recently shared how she realized the power that comes with pretty privilege when she gained a lot of weight, and the world immediately began treating her differently.

pretty privilege, good looking people, social experiment, beauty benefits, weight, inequity, drinks, dateA man hitting on a beautiful woman. via Canva/Photos

“Whether we want to admit it or not, pretty privilege is a thing. And it’s something that I now realize I had for the majority of my life,” the woman wrote in a viral Reddit post. “People were usually very nice to me. I got offered perks like drinks at bars and extra attention when I went out. And I was stared at a lot.”

Things changed for the woman after she had a health condition that required her to take a medication that slowed her metabolism, so she rapidly gained weight. “The fatter I got, the less attention was paid to me. I didn’t notice it at first, but I began to have to ask for customer service at places instead of being offered, and I started to feel invisible, because no one looked at me,” the woman continued. “No one. People would walk right by and not even acknowledge my existence. It was strange at first, then incredibly humbling. I thought, well, this is the new normal.”

The power of thin privilege.

It’s important to note that being a certain weight doesn’t automatically make you good-looking. People can be good-looking at any weight. However, it would be naive to believe that thin people don’t have an advantage in this world.

pretty privilege, good looking people, social experiment, beauty benefits, weight, inequity, A woman weighing herself. via Canva/Photos

The drastic fluctuation in the woman’s weight made her conscious of what other people who don’t have the privilege of being pretty or thin go through in life. It allowed her to have greater compassion for people, regardless of how they look. “My personality started to change a little. I began being thankful for any small interaction someone had with me, and responded to any small act of kindness with gratefulness,” she wrote. “I noticed other not conventionally pretty people, and other overweight people, and made an effort to talk to them and treat them like they mattered. I became a better person. Not that I wasn’t a good person before, but I was now more aware and empathetic to those around me.”

pretty privilege, good looking people, social experiment, beauty benefits, weight, inequity, A woman with curly hair. via Canva/Photos

The woman soon went off the medication and, just like that, she lost weight, and people began to treat her as they had before. “The first time I noticed it was when I was in a store looking for something, and a handsome male worker came up to me and asked if I needed help. He looked me in the eyes. I felt like I mattered again,” she continued. “Then I instantly felt sad and horrified, because of the cosmic unfairness of life, that how we look really does determine how people treat us, even though it shouldn’t.”

After the woman lost her privilege, she better understood what other people go through. On one hand, she probably enjoys the privilege, but on the other, she feels that the world is much less fair than she once imagined. At least, in the end, it’s taught her to be more empathetic to everyone she meets. “And also, when someone looks at me and smiles, no matter who they are, I give them a huge smile back,” she finished her post.

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Pop Culture

Husband praised for explaining his definition of a woman's 'true beauty'

"Is this man an actual unicorn?"

@chrissyjpowers/TikTok

This guy gets it.

One woman was so floored by her husband's kind and poignant words regarding the unfair beauty standards women continue to endure that she decided to record them. And people can’t get enough of the clip.

“Tell me what you just said, it was so brilliant,” says Chrissy Powers in her TikTok video. “I just looked at a picture of ... Jennifer Lopez. And I said, ‘How does she look that good at 50 something?’ And you said ...”

“I said she spends millions of dollars on herself to look like that ... That's the problem with patriarchal culture,” he responds before diving into an incredibly insightful, totally uplifting speech.

“The patriarchal culture tells women that if they don't look like a celebrity, their value is, like, nothing,” he continues, referencing a joke made by comedian Bill Burr about how men go to the movies and see a shirtless, buff Brad Pitt but don’t internalize any shame around it.

“We know we can't, so we just accept it. We are just us,” he quips.

The conversation then hones in on how there’s a double standard specifically when it comes to aging.

Powers says, “If we see women getting old, then we say, ‘She let herself go.’” and her husband immediately links that mentality to a falsehood promoted by capitalism.

“The idea that a woman is only valuable when they're between the ages of 18 and 25. That's ridiculous,” he says. “Listen, women have to stop believing the lies that the patriarchal culture machine tells them, that their value is only because they look young. It's ridiculous.”

via GIPHY

“Aging is not the problem,” he attests. In fact, when his wife asks if he thinks she is hotter now than when they first met, this is his thoughtful response:

“Oh, 100%. Oh, God, you're so much more beautiful. I mean, you were hot then. But you have…there is a wholeness to your beauty now because it comes with wisdom,” he tells her. “It comes with inner knowing. It comes with doing the work that is required to get to this point. Because if you're not growing, you're stuck. So you're doing the beautiful work of the change, the lasting change of moving forward, which is wisdom.”

And now for his mic-drop moment:

“Women who can love themselves for how beautiful they are…that’s what so attractive to any man.”

Um, yeah. This guy is a keeper.

@chrissyjpowers Sunday Sermon: How the patriarchy makes women question their beauty and then makes money of their insecurities. #realbeauty #aginggracefully #embracingaging #consciousrelationships ♬ original sound - Chrissy Powers

And perhaps the best part? During the entire conversation, their young daughter sat absorbing what Powers captioned as “true beauty” being defined by a “conscious man.” Talk about leading by example.

So far, over 280,000 people have viewed Powers’ post, and women have flooded the comments section sharing how much her husband’s words meant to them.

“When you said ‘there is a wholeness to your beauty now...’ tears came. Women aren't told this enough if at all. So, we learn to tell ourselves. Thank you”

Another joked, “Is this man an actual unicorn?”

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Joy

Here are 19 'unconventionally attractive' types people love, proving everyone is beautiful

“What a wonderful, body-positive thread.”

via Stronganova/PixaBay

A couple hiding a kiss

As a culture, we are always talking about the fact that the “ideal” man or woman we see represented in advertising is so unattainable that it damages people’s mental health. But the reality is that when it comes to dating, 99% of us aren’t out there looking for someone the media thinks is ideal. We’re much more likely to search for the “type” we like best. And what's cool is that just about everyone is somebody’s type, whether they know it or not.

The funny thing is that some people have a very specific type, while others cast a much wider net.

A Redditor by the name of MyPasswordIsABC999 asked people on the forum to share a “type” they’re attracted to but “too embarrassed” to tell anyone. The question was a big hit, receiving over 17,000 responses, and most were proud of their type. In fact, the most popular comment on the thread was, “So many of these aren’t embarrassing."

People shared all the different types they’re into, whether it’s those who are larger, thinner, have big or small features, and are tall, short or medium height. They also shared their favorite personality types, whether geeky, assertive, nice or mean.

"You know what I just love about this whole entire thread? Basically, every person in the world is attractive to someone else…that’s just so damn wholesome," Runningprofmama wrote.

Another commenter was pleased by the refreshing tone of the thread. "What a wonderful body-positive thread. This is rare," WhaleSexOdyssey wrote.

The thread might have been responsible for some love connections, too, as some people pointed out they were the type the commenters appreciate.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question: “What’s a ‘type’ you’re attracted to but too embarrassed to tell anyone?”

1. Mad scientists

"What about a German scientist that is a high achiever with publications, patents, 80% of a PhD, and their own lab? Oddly specific, I know." — DAngerscientist

2. Mean-looking women

"I like women that are kind of mean or at least look mean and stern." — Juicecalculator.

3. Stabby-adjacent

"Crazy enough that I think I might actually get stabbed, but not crazy enough to actually do it." — CryaxisOG

4. Girls with big noses

"Girls with big noses. I’m not quite sure why. Something about a prominent nose just adds a unique sexiness to a woman’s face." — Wokeupstilltiredwrote.

6. Any type

"I literally have no type and no girl ever believes me. Scrolling through this post proves it. I'm just like yep strong girls love 'em, thick girls love 'em, goth girls love 'em, tomboy girls love 'em, tall girls love 'em, short girls love 'em." — Hydroxs

7. Gray-haired men

"I’m 38, and I’m starting to be attracted to men with gray hair, or at least salt and pepper hair, which is completely age-appropriate, but it feels really weird." — Meansecurity

8. Larger girls

"I’ve always been attracted to larger girls. I was embarrassed about this when I was younger, but fortunately got over it." — shoesofwandering

9. Strong woman

"Assertive, not in a bossing around kind of way, more a she gets what she wants kind of way while still being a kind person." — HelferleinLarger girls

10. Shy girls

"Super shy girls. Dating one currently and I love her so much. I feel like people assume if you like shy quiet women that you just want someone subservient. But the truth is I just like taking care of her and I love the way she looks at me when I predict what she wants and is so happy because I pay attention to her so I know how to love her and serve her." — AbyssWankerArtorias

11. Larger men

"I only discovered this about myself with the guy I’m dating now. Was always into really skinny dudes and only dated skinny dudes and then I saw my guy one day, thought he was really cute, immediate crush.

He was wearing a mask for the first few months of knowing him (only knew him as a coworker), and then one day I see him walking around without his mask and oh my god he is gorgeous. I had to physically avert my eyes because I couldn’t stop looking at him. I’m pretty shy and unapproachable to people I don’t really know, so he stopped talking to me but I couldn’t stand it, overcame my shyness and went and confronted him about it one day (playfully), took his phone and put my details in it, and told him to talk to me. A month later we were dating. Anyway. I like thinking about it.

He’s soft and comfy and so strong so I feel really safe with him. I call him my pillow bf I’m seeing him later and I can’t wait." — PsychicNinja_

12. Geeky guys

"The awkward geeky guys with glasses, the ones who are confident in the things they love but just a bit awkward.
There's just something I love about winding them up, because sometimes they'll try and give as good as they can get. But once they don't know what to do they're usually smiling and having fun but have no idea what to say. That's the bit I like.
The minute I see I can get that reaction out of someone I'm hooked.

But it's also an issue, because usually they have low self-esteem so at some point it turns into a why are you dating someone like me." — AddictiveMischief

13. Big beefy men who are nerds

"Big boys. Human equivalents of bears. Tall and broad with thick arms and soft bellies, that could just pick me and throw me around. There is no too big. I loved climbing trees as a kid and now I'm rediscovering that hobby.

Men who watch anime and play video games and have any other nerdy hobby. I'm not joking. I was a weird anime kid growing up, it contributed to my bullying, I refused to give up on my interests." — ghostyface6

14. Girls with crooked teeth

"Absolutely. I never knew I liked this so much until I realized some other folks are into it, too. I find it very humanizing and interesting. Add in some sorta sleepy eyes (just a little bags under the eye) and I'm SOLD." — PolkaWillNeverDie00

15. Tall and slim guys

"I really like looking at this type aesthetically. They just make visually pleasing lines, especially if they're leaning against a wall with their hands in their pockets or sitting in a rocking chair." — CCVeediVee

16. Buff women and twinks

"I like women that are manly and men that girly. Call that the bisexual agenda." — heyhihaiheyahehe

17. Whatever Jack Black is

"Whatever the f*** Jack Black is, but I’m NOT embarrassed. He’s f***ing hot to me. Fat, bearded, talented, and passionate. My kind of man. WOOF!" — Lostswansong

18. Red-haired men

"Men with red hair! Although I’m not embarrassed! Although a bit embarrassed to have a 'type.' It seems kind of shallow. It just seems to be unusual to love a specific hair color!" — Hagrid'sSexyNipples

19. Ice queens

"Every woman I've ever been with is cold, detached and acts like an aloof cat." — Dammulf

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Pop Culture

Fans had the best response after Emilia Clarke was mocked by gamer for sharing candid selfie

The comment sparked a bigger conversation about how we react to women aging.

Fandom.com, @MillerStream/Twitter

An innocent selfie became the subject of harsh criticism.

Emilia Clarke is best known for her portrayal of Daenerys Targaryen in HBO’s fantasy series “Game of Thrones.” Clarke was 24 years old when she took on the iconic role, and during the filming process, she survived two life-threatening brain aneurysms. The actress has since become an advocate for other survivors of brain trauma, not to mention a fabulous role model for relentless optimism.

It is now 12 years after “Game of Thrones” premiered. Understandably, Clarke does not look the same way she did when she was a younger woman (after a lengthy stint in the makeup chair and under well-curated lighting, no less). And yet, a candid selfie that was posted to her Instagram received multiple remarks lamenting that her face looked different than it did over a decade ago.

Fans were quick to rush to Clarke’s defense, and in the process it led to a more universal conversation about how society often views women as they grow older.

The post in question was a photo sharing a gift from Clarke’s mom—a mug which read “You’re doing f**king great.”

“Mum got me a mug. I felt it was important to share this new found wisdom. Use it and reap the rewards 🤌💪🏻🥳❤️” Clarke wrote in the post’s caption.

While many fans shared their appreciation for Clarke’s infectious positivity, a few were, shall we say…not so kind.

Gamer Jon Miller shared a screenshot of Clarke’s post to Twitter, writing, “Lmao wow Daenerys Targaryen didn’t just hit the wall she flew into it full speed on a dragon.” While Miller’s wasn’t the only rude comment, this one in particular went viral.

Many people felt this was further proof that, especially with the rising popularity of cosmetic procedures and extreme beauty filters on social media, we have collectively forgotten that aging is a completely natural process.

One person wrote in a Twitter comment: “The rise of surgical and procedural interventions has seriously warped people’s perception and acceptance of other people.....checks notes..... aging naturally.”

Another quipped: “hitting a wall apparently means your eyes wrinkle a little when u smile now.”

And another added: “This is a normal looking woman?? Do people not know anymore how people outside of edited social media posts look like?????????”

As many pointed out, Clarke is far from the only woman to be criticized for showing a wrinkle or two. “This trend of shaming women for aging (which is uncontrollable and happens to everyone) is really weird,” wrote one person.

Thankfully, plenty of people noted how bonkers this viewpoint is.

One fan wrote: “Emilia Clarke was beautiful when she was 22, she’s still an extremely beautiful woman here. She’s just aged…which hasn’t made her any less beautiful. I fail to see the problem with this picture.”

Another said: “Aging is a privilege and doing it so naturally and with such grace in a world of filters and plastic surgery is even more so.”

Clarke herself has previously shared her own thoughts on aging, telling Elle: "You've got this idea of aging, and then you've got the idea of what aging makes you look like. At 34, I am wiser, more intelligent, I've had more experiences, I've done all this stuff, and I'm proud of that. You can only do that because you are the age you are. Time is the only thing that allows you to do those things. So, if my face is gonna reflect the time that I've spent on this earth, I'm down for that.

While it seems like the Mother of Dragons is far from fazed by any criticisms of her appearance, many people are impacted (and harmed) by unfair beauty standards. That’s why it’s important to bring these types of conversations to light. For as much progress as there has been, clearly there is still some work to do if we want to collectively move past treating women as though their value comes with an expiration date, and instead, let them just live their lives.

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