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Well Being

Writer uses a bologna sandwich to illustrate the beauty battle women wage with themselves

Writer uses a bologna sandwich to illustrate the beauty battle women wage with themselves

When you wake up to Khloe Kardashian's unedited photo debacle making headlines, it's not hard to see why so many women have body and beauty complexes.

Even for those of us who roll our eyes at Kardashian drama, the struggle is real. Even when we know that the images on Instagram are filtered and edited to unrealistic perfection. Even when we understand that societal beauty standards are arbitrary and stupid. Even with the proliferation of body-positive messages that encourage us to love the skin we're in, most women I know wage some kind of internal daily battle over beauty.

If only it were as simple as embracing what we look like in our natural state. If we truly and fully did that, though, we'd be smelly and unkempt, hair matted, nails scraggly, and teeth rotting. There's a certain amount of grooming that's reasonable to expect in civilized society, but what's enough and what's too much? At what point does beautification become problematic? There's no definitive line.

Then there's "health and fitness," which is good on the one hand, but toxic on the other. I could write an entire book on the social politics of fat on women's bodies. Follow that up with the make-up, the hair coloring/curling/straightening/styling, the wrinkle creams, the injections, and gracious, I'm already feeling mixed up inside barely 200 words into talking about women and beauty.

Writer and video blogger Mary Katherine Backstrom described these internal struggles women experience perfectly in a Facebook post. Sharing a photo of herself biting into a bologna sandwich, Backstrom wrote:


"You want to understand a woman?

Let's start right here: smack dab in the middle of a romantic moment I shared with a fried bologna sandwich. This was five minutes ago, y'all.

It was, in a word: intense.

Soft white bread, a generous schmear of mayo, and more than a couple slices of homegrown tomatoes. My word. I felt like confessing to my husband, which is why you have this picture.

I texted it to Ian, with a joke that I might actually be cheating, because nothing satisfies a woman quite like a solid sammy, hot tots, and a little bit of dippin sauce.

You can argue all you want, but you'd be wrong.

Sandwich. Tots. Dipping Sauce.

That's all we need.

I was fully in the moment when I got a little *ping* from my Optavia coach. She wanted to know how I was doing on the program. "The program" being a thing I signed up for a few months ago when couldn't fit in my skinny jeans and was suddenly motivated to shed a few bologna sandwiches.

So, now I'm invested to the tune of hundreds of dollars, with two full boxes of powdered astronaut food sitting in my entryway closet because I don't care how delicious a powder brownie mix is, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, competes with fried tots and dipping sauce.

Anyways, back to understanding a woman.

You need to understand:

I am fiercely committed to enjoying bologna sandwiches.

I am 100% committed to becoming the next Brooklyn Decker via overpriced crash diet space food.

And I am ALSO anti-diet culture and will probably post a picture of myself weighing 200 pounds telling everyone on this page to LOVE THEMSELVES AS THEY ARE because, DAMMIT you are beautiful!

And you know what the crazy part is?

I am 100%, full-hearted, unabashedly all three opposing people at once.

The woman eating the bologna sandwich.

The woman who says "screw diet culture".

And the woman who signs up for random crash diets when I want to fit into a fashionable dress for a family wedding.

If you want to understand a woman, you have to understand this conflict.

I want to love myself as I am.

I want to enjoy life without reservation.

And I want to be beautiful by society's standards.

And I understand that none of these things agree or make any damn sense, and it drives me crazy, and makes me feel like a hypocrite, and makes me rage at the system, and makes me order overpriced powdered brownies, and makes me binge on bologna sandwiches, and makes me go to bed feeling like I should've done it better because if I was just

a little more disciplined

a little bit thinner

a little more consistent

a little more wild

a little more free

a little more original

but also a little more like the standard

then...maybe THEN, I would be an ideal woman.

And maybe I already am. I certainly believe that my friends are, and they enjoy bologna sandwiches.

But I wouldn't know. Because I look to the right and look to the left and all I see are things society thinks I should improve.

And it messes me up and confuses my brain and it drives me to space food and fried bologna sandwiches.

And that, my friends, is what it is to be a woman."

Seriously. She nails it.

It's not that men can't have this same kind of internal conflict; I'm sure some men are torn between wanting a burger and fries and embracing their dad bod, while also coveting Lenny Kravitz's abs. But for women, there are just so many elements for us to grapple with. We want to feel beautiful, but we don't want to conform to stupid societal beauty standards. We want to be in shape, but we want to love our bodies just as they are. We want to feel sexy, but we don't want to be sexualized. We slip down beauty standard rabbit holes—from hair to skin to weight to eyebrows—and we roll our eyes all the way down while also taking notes.

It's a confusing struggle, but for so many women, it's very real. Thank you, Mary Katherine, for keeping it real.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

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Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

Screenshot WBRZ2|YouTube

Boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man forming friendship


Kids can be amazingly empathetic people, many of them doing what they can to help others in need unprompted. Homelessness has been an increasing issue across America and some kids have taken small steps to try to help when they can. Kids are seen doing things like volunteering at a soup kitchen with their family, handing out personal hygiene kits and even making sandwiches in their own kitchen to give out.

One kid has been noticing a growing homeless population and wanting to lend a helping hand, but every time he encountered someone without a home, he had no money. But Kelvin Ellis didn't stop the desire of wanting to help so the next time he came across a man that appeared homeless, he was excited that this time he had a dollar in his pocket.

Kelvin, who is 9-years-old spotted a houseless person standing in the corner of a restaurant and knew it was his chance. The boy approached the man who was standing with his eyes closed and held out the only money he had–a dollar bill. But to Kelvin's surprise, the man refused the kind gesture and instead bought him breakfast because it turned out the man wasn't homeless at all.


Matthew Busbice, the man standing in the corner, was simply doing his morning devotional prayer after having to leave his apartment in a rush when the building's fire alarm went off. The man stepped across the street to the coffee shop after it was confirmed to be a false alarm at his building. That's where Kelvin spotted him and attempted to give charity to Busbice, a multimillionaire.

Busbice launched and owns several brands and outdoor companies with his family. The multimillionaire also starred in two popular reality television shows with his family, Country Bucks on A&E and Wildgame Nation on Outdoor Channel. His money and niche fame didn't stop him from chatting with Kelvin over breakfast while the little boy's dad was at the eye doctor.

"You gave the only money in your pocket to me and thinking I was a homeless man, and that speaks volumes of your character and what this generation that's coming up. If their more like Kelvin and they're going to give, they're going to be filled with joy, they're going to be happy. They're going to change the community then change the parish and change the state, and they can change the world," Busbice tells WBRZ 2.

Kelvin didn't expect to make a friend that day, but he did. You can see how Busbice repaid the little boy's kind gesture below.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

Imagine winning that much money in milliseconds.

Over its decades-long syndication run, “Wheel of Fortune” has given audiences their fair share of epic wins (not to mention royally embarrassing misses). But regardless, seeing someone effortlessly wordsmith their way into winning big money never gets old.

And this big win came in a matter of milliseconds.

Alex Harrell, a father from Stafford, Virginia, who has served over nine years in the Marine Corps as an Osprey pilot, had already dominated the episode—racking up $27,105, a cruise and a trip to Aruba, per TV Insider.


This brought the young Marine to the Bonus round, where he selected the “Food and Drink” category and the letters “H, G, P and O.”

Up on the two-word puzzle screen, “T _ P _ O _ _ / P _ _ _ _ N G” appeared.

Before Pat Sajak is even able to say “if you need more time,” Harrell had his answer.

“Tapioca Pudding.”

Shaking his head in astonishment, Sajak opened the envelope to reveal Harrel won an additional $40,000, which gave him an overall total of $67,150, plus his trips.

“Way to go, Alex. Best contestant ever tonight!” wrote one viewer on YouTube.

Another added, “intense bonus round, he rocked it.”

Folks on X shared a similar sentiment.

One person wrote, “WOW!! Alex did Excellent!!! That’s the way we like it…and thank you for your service.”

Another seconded, “I'm assuming he's gonna go back to the Hyatt and roll around in the bed with all that dough.”

Now one has to wonder…does Harrell have a knack for words? Or is he just that big a fan of pudding? Either way, it paid off.

Watch his iconic win below:

Steve Martin's 2000 novella, "Shopgirl."

Over the past few years, book bans have been happening in public libraries and schools across America. In the 2022-2023 school year alone, over 3,300 books were banned in 182 school districts in 37 states.

Most books that have been banned deal with LGBTQ and racial themes. According to a report from PEN America, Florida has been the most aggressive state regarding book bans, accounting for about 40% of those taken off the shelves.

On November 5, Collier County, Florida, announced that it was banning 300 books from its school libraries out of an effort to comply with state law HB 1069, which says books that depict or describe “sexual content” can be challenged for removal.


Among the books banned by the school district was “Shopgirl,” a novella by author Steve Martin published in 2000. Martin is also the star of the hit Hulu show, “Only Murders in the Building,” featuring Martin Short and Selena Gomez.

Upon hearing about his book being banned, Martin responded with his iconic wit on Instagram, saying, “So proud to have my book Shopgirl banned in Collier County, Florida! Now, people who want to read it will have to buy a copy!"

“Shopgirl” is a story about a young woman who works in a luxury department store and has an affair with a wealthy older man. It was made into a movie in 2005 starring Claire Danes and Martin. It’s believed the book was banned for its mild sexual content. On Amazon, the book is recommended for readers ages 13 and up.


This article originally appeared on 11.11.23

Representative Image from Canva

May we all be able to give ourselves this kind of self esteem boost

Honestly, there should be positive self-talk classes for adults taught entirely by kids. Kids seem to have no trouble telling themselves how worthy they are with 100% conviction, and it’s a skill that so many of us grown-ups end up having to relearn in life.

Luckily, social media provides free masterclasses.

A father named Jay noticed his young daughter Tatum was so confident in front of the camera that he dedicated an entire Instagram account to her called @dadsdoittoo, where she regularly gives unabashed pep talks to folks.

But it’s her latest spiel that’s really got people talking.


Jay allowed Tatum 20 seconds of alone time in the bathroom to say whatever she wanted, mimicking the popular current trend for parents to allow their kids to experiment with swear words in a private, safe space for a limited amount of time.

Only Tatum decided to give it her own wholesome spin.

Looking at herself in the camera, Tatum says “I got this,” before shouting at the top of her lungs, "I'm a queen, I'm a young queen! I'm a superstar!"

Ramping up, Tatum continues, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and I love myself!” And then, the kicker:

"I'm a Barbie, and I look pretty!” This even got a response from the official Barbie Instagram account, which commented, "And don't you forget it 😉💖."

And of course,Tatum ends her epic pep talk with her signature move—a peace sign.

Down in the comments, people could help but praise the young queen, and for her parents.

“She understood the assignment,” one person wrote.

“My fav part was that she didn’t speak, she PROJECTED,” another added.

A third said. “She is all that. Good for her that she has the confidence at such an early age and good for her parents that they recognize. This is so important for her future.”

Another suggested that Jay save the video, so that “when she had challenges later in life...let her listen to her voice!❤️❤️❤️”

And of course, it left adults inspired to do the same.

“Gonna recite this in the mirror next time I need a confidence boost,” one viewer shared.

Little ones really do have so much to teach us.

The doorway to Disney's exclusive private restaurant, Club 33, is painted in "Go Away Green" so as to be inconspicuous.

The masterminds at Disney are known for creating eye-catching spectacles you can't turn away from, but did you know they're also adept at concealing things they don't want you to see? According to a number of online reports, Disney uses a few clever shades of paint to disguise things like trash cans, fences and administrative buildings that don't otherwise fit into the mise en scene. The hues are informally called "Go Away Green" (or "No See Um Green"), "Bye Bye Blue" (or "Blending Blue") and "No See Um Grey."

Disney won’t give away their formula, but crafty parkgoers claim to have matched the shades to some easy-to-procure paint store varieties, should you also want to use this visual trickery.

"The goal of this [Go Away Green] shade is to cause the object to fade into your color spectrum so that your eye will miss it completely," Gavin Doyle, Disney expert who writes the website Disney Dose (and hosts podcast of the same name) told Business Insider.


"The best example can be found on the outdoor lift hill of Big Thunder Mountain, where you can easily see backstage by turning your head to the right," says Doyle. "Most guests simply don’t see this backstage area as everything is covered in Disney’s special green-colored paint.”

If you are thinking, “Wait, what? I’ve never seen that!” you are not alone! Dang sneaky paint!

Another example, says Doyle, is the exterior door to the secret private restaurant, Club 33, cloaked in Go Away Green.

Not to mention trash bins, fences, light posts, and entrances to the “utilidors” (Disney’s vast network of underground tunnels, which are technically ground level and used for everything behind-the-scenes) and basically anything that might detract from the magic.

Haunted Mansion, Disneyland, color theory

Disneyland's Haunted Mansion stands out while fences, trash bins, umbrellas and more are disguised.

Theme Park Tourist/ WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

In addition to Go Away Green, Disney uses a shade of blue to camouflage things above the tree line so the object they’re trying to conceal will blend into the skyline. They also use a drab grey color for concealing things in areas of the park where there is more concrete and less foliage (like Tomorrowland).

This kind of trompe l'oeil can be used outside the park boundaries. While Disney implements a level of design between obsessive detail and mind control, using color to make certain things come to the foreground and others recede isn’t pure witchcraft.

It’s what people do with eyeshadow and highlights, with stripes and dark, slimming colors. Why not conceal your unsightly fence or utility box? According to an article on Simplemost, the recommendation is to “look at the prevalent hues close by to find the best camouflaging color for your home.”

Main Street, Go Away Green, Disney

Main Street at Walt Disney World conceals benches, fences and lamp posts with a drab green color.

Jedi94/ WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

​“So if I were to paint the family in this camouflage, perhaps we could sneak into Disney World without paying, and they’d never see us,” quipped u/Simba7 on a Today I Learned Reddit thread about Disney’s use of color.

“Finally, the perfect color to dress when I’m forced to go to parties,” joked u/SuperStrawbear.

“This is the color of the front door of my house and people always leave fliers around the back lol,” shared u/iwishiwereagiraffe.

It's definitely something to keep in mind when incorporating these colors at home!