SNL's 'Perfect Mother' skit is perfectly, painfully spot on
"I know this is supposed to be funny but honestly this is deep."
Emma Thompson plays Heidi Gardner's mom in "The Perfect Mother."
"Saturday Night Live" is known for its comedic exaggerations that poke fun at real life, but skit about motherhood from SNL Season 44 isn't really an exaggeration at all.
The skit, called "The Perfect Mother" stars actors Emma Thompson and Heidi Gardner as a mom-daughter pair talking about motherhood. Gardner plays a harried mom with young children, sporting a messy bun and a toy-strewn living room, while Thompson plays her mother, a calm, well-put-together older woman with matching jewelry and loads of sage wisdom.
Gardner asks Thompson how she raised her as "the perfect mother" without losing her mind, and what we see is the stark difference between what Thompson says it was like for her as a mom with young kids—"Every moment was a joy"— and flashbacks of what it was actually like when her kids were little—"Why won't you f**ing sleep?!?"
Most mothers will recognize the moments of frustration, angst and general hot-messness that come with mothering young children, and many will recognize the rose-colored glasses an/or denial people often utilize when looking back on the past.
Watch:
The skit hit home with people in the comments.
"I know this is supposed to be funny but honestly this is deep," wrote one person. "This is basically what every mom (and a lot of dads) has to go through and nobody even realizes."
"And there's people who see us struggling and shame us for seeming like Moms aren't trying hard enough to keep things in order.. pfft," shared another.
"Dude, the giraffe part nailed it. All of this has reassured me that my husband and I aren't failing as parents and that everyone is just bullshitting," offered another.
"This may be the most life accurate sketch SNL has done, and one of its funniest. So many memories from my childhood, and my parenthood mirror this," wrote another.
"This is literally the best most realistic thing I have ever seen about parenting! So flawless. I did not stop laughing the whole time," shared another.
Seeing the reality of motherhood reflected back on us is refreshing, especially when we do so often hear older moms talk about their child-rearing years as if it wasn't that difficult. "Momnesia" is a real phenomenon—as the years pass, we start to forget about all the sleep deprivation, the crying and whining, the constant messes, the inexplicable things you never imagined a kid would do and so on. Those hard parts of parenting fade in our memories over time, while the sweetness, the adorableness, the joy tends to get magnified.
Older moms can be helpful sources of practical advice and encouragement, but we have to be aware that they've probably forgotten how hard it really was and take what they say about their personal experiences with a grain of salt. On the other hand, perhaps it's good to know that we will eventually forget a lot of the frustrating parts while holding firmly to the fond memories of our children's childhoods.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."