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The surprisingly simple parenting advice that almost always works, even when all else fails

It's meant for babies and toddlers but works like a charm on kids of all ages.

Baby splashing in bucket outside
Photo by Lubomirkin on Unsplash

Baby playing with water in a bucket.

Becoming a parent is many things—exciting, scary, joyful, messy, wonder-filled, smelly—but mostly it's a bit overwhelming. Even if you are thrilled with having a baby, there's a lot you have to learn and figure out as you go. To help you through that learning process, there are about a thousand parenting books filled with "expert" advice, at least half of which simply won't work for you or your kid.

Genuinely universally helpful parenting advice is a unicorn; it simply doesn't exist. But occasionally, a golden piece of age-old child-rearing wisdom manages to break through the noise—something that works most of the time for most kids and parents. Something your grandma or auntie passed along that sounds too simple to be effective, yet works like a charm. Something that few if any people could possibly find controversial or problematic.



Something like: "Put them in water or take them outside."

This advice was highlighted by The Motherhood Project in 2021 and has been shared on Facebook more than 123,000 times.

The "water or outside" advice is generally used for babies or toddlers who are inconsolable, as wee ones are known for screaming like banshees for no apparent reason and throwing conniption fits with no apparent prompting.

"Apparent" is the key here, of course—logically, there must be some reason for wailing as if being tortured—but most babies and most toddlers aren't able to verbally articulate their issue, and sometimes that issue might be as simple as "I don't want to be where I am or doing what I'm doing."

Once you've determined the kiddo is not injured in some way, "Put them in water or take the outside" is solid advice that often works when all else fails. And thankfully, it's effective for tiny people as well as older kids (and honestly, sometimes even teenagers). A bath, pool or shower is often just the distraction or soothing sensory experience needed to snap them out of whatever mood they're in. And fresh air and sunlight are simple human needs that many of us neglect too often—a reality that becomes all too clear when you take kids outside and the drama all melts away within minutes.

Of course, there are caveats here. Some babies absolutely hate the bath. Some kids have sensory issues that are triggered by certain outdoor environments. So it's not universally foolproof, but it's definitely worth trying.

Countless commenters testified to the efficacy of the "put them in water or take them outside" advice.

"I didn't hear this until after I had my 2nd baby," wrote one mom. "I used it with my 3rd often, and it truly does work. So mad I heard a lot of terrible advice before learning this one!"

"Yes!! And I even give my daughter a bath during dinner time and feed her in the bath sometimes cause she gets so hangry she can’t calm down enough to eat. But in the bath, she naturally calms down enough to eat while she’s playing. She’s almost 5 and we’ve been doing this most of her life. Even did it tonight again," shared another mother.

One mom shared that it works with her older autistic son: "When my 12 year old autistic son gets overly fractious he either goes in the bath or goes outside....... always works ❤."

Another expanded the idea to "just add water," including things like watercolor, playing in the sink, etc.: "I have heard the phrase 'just add water' as well. When things are crazy just think of ways to add water to it. Waterpaints, playing with the hose outside, taking a bath, filling the sink up and adding toys, fill small Tupperware bowls with water and let their imagination go wild, taking a drink, giving them a wet paper towel for ouchies, etc. It's one of my favorite pieces of advice I've gotten."

Some parents shared that holding their colicky newborn in the shower was the only thing that helped calm them down. Others said that baths were a sanity saver for their kids' entire early childhoods. Some said that simply stepping outside with a cranky baby was enough to get them to stop fussing most of the time.

It's good advice for us adults, too, when we're feeling frazzled. Soaking in a tub or going for a walk seem like such simple things, but they really can make a huge difference in how we feel and how we view things.

Add water or go outside: A solid tip for new parents and a great life hack for all ages.

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.


However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

File:L.N.Tolstoy Prokudin-Gorsky.jpg - Wikipedia

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as"War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina.” His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul.

His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.


Juan de Medeiros, a TikTokker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent, and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women

De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

Through the words of Tolstoy, de Medeiros makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence. Truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.


This article originally appeared on 10.13.23

Children playing at a daycare

There’s a popular sentiment among some stay-at-home parents and those with a family member taking care of their kids that it’s better than sending them to daycare. One common criticism is that parents who send their kids to daycare are letting other people raise their children.

This causes many parents to feel ashamed that they can’t be there for their children during the day.

However, Veronica, a mother of two, believes that stay-at-home moms who shame those who send their kids to daycare must stop perpetuating this myth because there are some great benefits that kids get out of daycare.


Veronica shared why that “narrative” needs to be reconsidered in a viral TikTok video with over 56,000 views.

@vfrieds

Giving parents guilt for daycare is CRAZY #daycare #momguilt #workingmom #daycarelife #workingparent

“I hate the narrative that if you send your kids to daycare, you're not raising them,” Veronica begins the video. “And people are like, ‘Oh, you know, we made some sacrifice. My kid used to have fun at Water Day, but now we go to the water park together’ and she's better for it,’” she said.

Then she shared four big reasons why parents need to stop daycare-shaming.

1. Not all parents can stay home

“One, that's not an option for every family. So, stop making moms feel like crap because they send their kids to daycare.”

2. Kids have fun at daycare

"Two, my kid freaking loves Water Day and daycare. In fact, she gets pissed when I pick her up 'cause she's having fun with her friends.'"

3. Kids learn a lot at daycare

“Three, she's so smart because they teach her so many things there. So smart.”

4. You don’t have to be either/or

“Like, I'm instilling morals with her. I see her more than her daycare teacher sees her. I can raise her and she can still have fun at school. They're not mutually exclusive like things.”

daycare, stay-at-home moms, parentingChildren playing at a daycare.via Canva

The video's commenters were overwhelmingly on Veronica's side. The most popular comment was from a woman who mentioned that stay-at-home moms will eventually send their kids to school. "My question to all the moms that feel that way, are they planning to stop raising their kids when they start kindergarten? Like, do they think they’re just done when they start 5k?" Tayler asked.

Others shared some of the many benefits that come with going to daycare.

"It's really frustrating when people assume daycare is something negative. I often say that we WANT her in school, she's learning so much and has great social skills and independence,” Elmarie wrote. "I’m an early intervention service coordinator and kids speech and emotional skills usually improve so much when they start daycare and school,” Tay added.

Is daycare good for children?

What do the experts say? Regarding whether sending your kids to daycare is outsourcing parenting, the findings show that home life has a much more significant impact on a child’s development than daycare. “An over-arching finding in the literature is that daycare influences are less important than home influences, even for children who spend much time in daycare,” Noam Shpancer Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today.

On the negative side, research shows that the quality of the daycare is very important and that kids raised in low-quality establishments can have some behavioral problems later on. On the positive side, daycare benefits “cognitive development and school readiness” in children and especially helps low-income children from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Given the positive aspects of having children in daycare, it’s interesting that parents are still shamed for doing so. Parents like Veronica should be happy about their parenting decisions because there is little to suggest that sending their kids to one means they aren’t raising them. Ultimately, the most important thing is quality care; if a child is in good hands, it shouldn’t matter where they happen to be.

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?


Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

OPPO Find X5 Pro & Chris Liverani/Unsplash

Sometimes parenting tricks are deceptively simple.

Tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts are the bane of parents' existence.

Once they start, they're like a freight train. There seems to be almost no way to stop them other than staying calm and letting them run their course.

That is, until one dad on Reddit revealed his secret method.


A thread titled "Hack your youngster's big emotions with math" has every parent on Reddit saying, why didn't I think of that?

User u/WutTheHuck posted a simple comment on the subreddit r/daddit earlier this month.

"Heard about this recently - when your kid is having a meltdown, doing math engages a different part of their brain and helps them move past the big feelings and calm down," he writes.

"We've been doing this with our very emotional 6-yr-old, when she decides that she wants to cooperate - asking her a handful of simple addition and subtraction questions will very quickly allow her to get control of herself again and talk about her feelings."

So, basically, when the sobs and screams come on strong, having your kid tell you the answer to 3+3, or 10-7 is a good way to get them calm again, and fast.

OP goes on to call the technique "magical," and mentions that his 6-year-old is legendary in his household for her epic tantrums.

The unique trick became a popular post on the subreddit, with a few hundreds comments from dads who were intrigued and willing to give it a try.

A month later, the results are in. The math trick works wonders.

math problemsOK, we said SIMPLE mathAntoine Dautry/unsplash

What struck me as I read through r/daddit was how many follow-up threads there were that said something to the effect of:

The math trick worked!

One user wrote that when his kids woke up screaming from a nightmare, he responded with a simple addition question.

"Soon as my wife closed the door ... [my kid] wanted mommy and started yelling her head off. I remembered the math trick and went 'what's 2+2?' It worked like a charm; the screaming ceased by the second question," he said.

In a separate thread, u/LighTMan913 had a message for "whoever posted here a few days ago about having your kid do mental math when they're upset..."

"You're a mother fudging genius," he said.

"My 7-year-old got in trouble for being mean to his brother shortly before bed time. He was rolled over facing the wall in bed. Wouldn't say goodnight. Just giving mumbles into the bed that are impossible to hear for answers.

"Started with 2+2 and by the time we got to 4096 he was smiling and laughing. 5 minutes after I left the room he called me back in to tell me he thinks he figured out 4096 + 4096 and I worked him through his wrong, albeit very close, answer.

"Worked like a charm. Thank you."

It's not just random dads on the Internet. Experts agree that this method is a bona fide winner for dealing with tantrums and outbursts.

upset kidHelping kids calm down can be a challenge.Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author, had this to say about the viral technique:

"When our emotions rise, our logic decreases. The more emotional we feel, the more difficult it is to think clearly.

"A simple math problem requires you to raise your logic, which automatically decreases the intensity of an emotion."

Morin says that the math trick basically boils down to a distraction. A distraction with the added bonus of re-engaging the logical side of a child's brain.

"If you do what's known as 'changing the channel' in your brain, you get your mind thinking about something else--like a math problem. When you shift your attention, your thoughts change," Morin says, adding that adults can use this concept when they're feeling overwhelmed, too.

"When a child is upset, don't talk about why they're upset or why a tantrum is inappropriate. Instead, help them change the channel in their brains and raise their logic. When everyone is calm, you can have a discussion about how the strategy works--and how they can apply it themselves when you're not available to remind them."

Now I just need to get my 4-year-old up to speed on basic addition and subtraction and I'll be made in the shade!

Photo Credit: TechCrunch/Wikimedia

Snoop Dogg has become a beloved figure among all ages.

Few people in the public eye have had as dramatic a redemption arc as 90s gansta rapper, Martha Stewart best bud and Olympics ambassador Snoop Dogg. The 52-year-old has become a beloved figure for multiple generations who enjoy his chill positivity and endearing, get-along-with-everyone persona.

No one who came of age in the 90s would ever have imagined their parents or grandparents becoming Snoop Dogg fans, yet here we are.

The perpetually stoned G-funk star came onto the music scene as a bad boy of West Coast hip-hop in the early 90s, with a criminal rap sheet that included felony drug possession and sale and first-degree murder charges (for which he was acquitted). His music reflected his gangster lifestyle, with references to drugs and alcohol, deadly gang rivalries and derogatory slang terms for women.

But to his credit, a couple of key interactions with other musicians led Snoop to change his tune when it comes to putting misogynistic lyrics into his songs.


Dionne Warwick told Snoop and his friends to say it to her face

In 2023, Snoop shared in the CNN film Dionne Warwick: Don’t Make Me Over that singing legend Dionne Warwick had invited him and some other 90s rappers to her house. They were to arrive no later than 7:00 a.m., and they found themselves so intimidated, they were in her driveway at 6:52 a.m..

"We were kind of, like, scared and shook up,” Snoop said. “We’re powerful right now, but she’s been powerful forever. Thirty-some years in the game, in the big home with a lot of money and success.”

Warwick said she respected their right to express themselves but was tired of the misogynistic lyrics in their songs. She pulled a power move, demanding that they call her a "b__ch" to her face.

"“You guys are all going to grow up,” she told them. “You’re going have families. You’re going to have children. You’re going to have little girls, and one day that little girl is going to look at you and say, ‘Daddy, did you really say that? Is that really you?’ What are you going to say?”

Snoop said that he and his fellow rappers were "the most gangsta as you could be" at that time and believed they couldn't be checked. He admitted, however, that Warwick "out-gangstered" them that day.

Another musician who caused Snoop to rethink his language was Pharrell Williams. In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE, Snoop said of his earlier career, ""I was stuck in a box with keeping it gangster and trying to appease the hood,” he says. "I had one singular target that I was aiming at and really didn't have room to grow."

Pharrell Williams encouraged Snoop to show love and appreciation to the women in his life

Pharrell was instrumental in Snoop's 2003 hit, "Beautiful," which Snoop said he would never have written in the 90s. "He tapped me into the side that I really never paid attention to," Snoop said. "He was like, 'You've been rapping about women and calling them and h--s and they love you. When are you going to take time to show them that you love them and appreciate them?'"'

"I had to think," said Snoop. "I was like, 'Damn. I am kind of hard on them. Let me listen to you. What should I do?'"

In the studio, Williams began naming off all of the women in Snoop's family. "I was like, 'I get it ... put the beat on,'" Snoop said. "Since then I've been on more of a respect my queen rather than use derogatory words to explain my feeling towards females."

What these stories show is what makes Snoop Dogg so universally likeable—his willingness to learn and grow, even as he's turned into Grandpa Snoop.

"I just want to keep getting better and better, and being around people that want to see me do better," he told PEOPLE. "Even if that means that I'm not the smartest person in the room, that don't offend me because that means more learning rather than teaching."

i.giphy.com

Snoop is a good example of someone willing to evolve

Being open to your own evolution is a remarkable trait, especially when it's so easy to become entrenched in our own ideas and identities as we age. You don't have to listen to rap music or share his penchant for weed to acknowledge that Snoop seems genuinely down-to-earth and willing to learn and grow. We've seen it in his appearances with Martha Stewart and in his Olympic commentary. He listens. He's curious. He engages whole-heartedly. Those qualities draw people in, but they also allow for growth and positive change.

As Snoop said to Warwick after sharing the story of her special invitation to her house all those years ago, "“Dionne, I hope I became the jewel that you saw when I was the little, dirty rock that was in your house. I hope I’m making you proud.”