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Mom films her 10-month-old helping with chores to show parents that babies 'are capable'

"It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!”

Representative image from Canva

Having kids help in chores can really help them out later in life, according to experts.

It’s part of a parent’s job to help kids enjoy being kids while they can. At the same time, it’s extremely beneficial to teach them certain “adult” tasks while they’re still young. This can help them see everything from cleaning to budgeting as a fun, life-affirming activity, rather than a mandatory chore. Which research shows can, in turn, set them up for way more happiness and success once they do reach adulthood.

And that’s why mom and child development expert Sophie Zee is hosting a video of her ten-month-old helping with household chores like laundry and loading the dishwasher. It’s her way of reminding other parents just how capable their young children are.

In the video’s text overlay on her Zee wrote: “POV: you're 10-months-old but your mom is trained in child development, so you already know about basic chores and associate them with playtime and fun, and you enjoy helping out and doing them.”

As we see her toddler’s little hands splashing water in a strainer and pressing buttons on the washing machine, it’s clear that he is just a supervised participant of each chore, getting a visceral experience of it all. At one point he even gets a little creative with a certain task—using a fork to open the dishwasher’s soap dispenser. Problem-solving skills: unlocked!

“Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!” Zee's video caption read.

@schoolpsych.mom Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it! #momsoftiktok #parentingtips #babylife #newmomtips #toddlermom ♬ Feel Good - Tundra Beats

Down in the comments, several other parents noted having the same positive experience with their old young kids.

One mom wrote, “My 9 month old loves watching/helping me clean especially when I load/unload the dishwasher! I love making the daily tasks around the house more fun for the two of us.”

Another wrote, “I did this with my 6 adult kiddies. They were helping from the time they were just a few weeks old.”

Others simply gave kudos to Zee for setting her child up for success.

“ECD teacher here too. Best to train them from young 🥰 love it,” one view wrote.

In an interview with Newsweek, Zee explained that she filmed her son doing chores to highlight "their intrinsic motivation to engage and feel part of the family unit,” which may go otherwise underutilized.

"Parents may not realize that children learn extensively by observing and imitating adults. They naturally want to mimic our actions, presenting a perfect opportunity to expose them to life's responsibilities, including self-care and household tasks," she said.

"Sometimes my 10-month-old son engages in various daily tasks and chores around our home. I made that video to demonstrate how even young children, like babies, are capable of participating in everyday activities.”

Still, she noted that forcing kids to participate is “counterproductive,” and suggested that parents instead gently invite them to “join in, observe, and gradually participate.” She also reiterated that while having them join in might make things a little messier at first, the long term effects are well worth it.

"This approach is more beneficial than expecting children to play independently or watch television while parents rush through tasks. Ultimately, embracing this inclusive approach benefits the entire family, offering immediate rewards and long-term positive habits for children's development."

For more helpful child development content, including tips on how to get young ones to participate in chores, follow Zee on TikTok.

He looks dejected, but he'll pull through.

A passage from a new book by Dr. Becky Kennedy makes a strong case for parents to focus more on raising resilient kids than happy ones. The excerpt from “GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be” by Dr. Kennedy was published by Big Think.

Dr. Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author and mom of three named "The Millennial Parenting Whisperer" by TIME magazine.

Everyone wants their children to be happy, but Dr. Kennedy argues that the path to that ultimate goal lies in addressing the root cause of unhappiness. When a child doesn't have the skills to cope with everyday feelings such as disappointment, frustration, envy and sadness, it will interfere with their ability to cultivate happiness. However, If we teach children how to regulate their emotional states, they will be able to develop the peace of mind necessary to be happy.

It’s like the old adage says: “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he’ll eat forever.”




“What do we really mean when we say, ‘I just want my kids to be happy’? What are we talking about when we say, ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘You have so much to be happy about!’ or “Why can’t you just be happy?’” Kennedy asks.

“I, for one, don’t think we’re talking about cultivating happiness as much as we’re talking about avoiding fear and distress,” Kennedy continues. “Because when we focus on happiness, we ignore all the other emotions that will inevitably come up throughout our kids’ lives, which means we aren’t teaching them how to cope with those emotions.”

Kennedy believes that focusing on happiness instead of the underlying conditions that create it is like putting a bandaid over the problem.

“For me, happiness is much less compelling than resilience,” Kennedy writes. “After all, cultivating happiness is dependent on regulating distress. We have to feel safe before we can feel happy. Why do we have to learn to regulate the tough stuff first? Why can’t happiness just ‘win’ and ‘beat’ all other emotions? That certainly would be easier!”

So how does one raise an emotionally resilient child?

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College, told PBS that parents build their child’s resilience by having a 10-minute discussion with them every night at bedtime.

“In these brief daily conversations, we should ask kids if there is something they might want to talk about—perhaps a problem at school or with friends, something they are angry with us about, or what they may be anxious about the following day,” Barish writes.

“Parents should listen to the child’s recount of the day without judgment and let them know that they have had the same experiences, too. “We can say, for example, ‘Yes, I know, it feels really bad when other kids won’t let you play…I also felt bad and angry when those kinds of things happened to me.’ Many children will respond to these statements with astonishment,” Barish writes.

This parent-child discussion can help children put their disappointments in perspective and learn that everyone has struggles. The key is developing the skills to overcome them.

“Resilience is not a static character trait that children possess or lack; it’s a skill that can be cultivated, and one that, hopefully, parents help instill in their kids from a young age,” Kennedy writes. “Because we can’t always change the stressors around us, but we can always work on our ability to access resilience.”

Family

The surprisingly simple parenting advice that almost always works, even when all else fails

It's meant for babies and toddlers but works like a charm on kids of all ages.

Photo by Lubomirkin on Unsplash

Baby playing with water in a bucket.

Becoming a parent is many things—exciting, scary, joyful, messy, wonder-filled, smelly—but mostly it's a bit overwhelming. Even if you are thrilled with having a baby, there's a lot you have to learn and figure out as you go. To help you through that learning process, there are about a thousand parenting books filled with "expert" advice, at least half of which simply won't work for you or your kid.

Genuinely universally helpful parenting advice is a unicorn; it simply doesn't exist. But occasionally, a golden piece of age-old child-rearing wisdom manages to break through the noise—something that works most of the time for most kids and parents. Something your grandma or auntie passed along that sounds too simple to be effective, yet works like a charm. Something that few if any people could possibly find controversial or problematic.



Something like: "Put them in water or take them outside."

This advice was highlighted by The Motherhood Project in 2021 and has been shared on Facebook more than 123,000 times.

The "water or outside" advice is generally used for babies or toddlers who are inconsolable, as wee ones are known for screaming like banshees for no apparent reason and throwing conniption fits with no apparent prompting.

"Apparent" is the key here, of course—logically, there must be some reason for wailing as if being tortured—but most babies and most toddlers aren't able to verbally articulate their issue, and sometimes that issue might be as simple as "I don't want to be where I am or doing what I'm doing."

Once you've determined the kiddo is not injured in some way, "Put them in water or take the outside" is solid advice that often works when all else fails. And thankfully, it's effective for tiny people as well as older kids (and honestly, sometimes even teenagers). A bath, pool or shower is often just the distraction or soothing sensory experience needed to snap them out of whatever mood they're in. And fresh air and sunlight are simple human needs that many of us neglect too often—a reality that becomes all too clear when you take kids outside and the drama all melts away within minutes.

Of course, there are caveats here. Some babies absolutely hate the bath. Some kids have sensory issues that are triggered by certain outdoor environments. So it's not universally foolproof, but it's definitely worth trying.

Countless commenters testified to the efficacy of the "put them in water or take them outside" advice.

"I didn't hear this until after I had my 2nd baby," wrote one mom. "I used it with my 3rd often, and it truly does work. So mad I heard a lot of terrible advice before learning this one!"

"Yes!! And I even give my daughter a bath during dinner time and feed her in the bath sometimes cause she gets so hangry she can’t calm down enough to eat. But in the bath, she naturally calms down enough to eat while she’s playing. She’s almost 5 and we’ve been doing this most of her life. Even did it tonight again," shared another mother.

One mom shared that it works with her older autistic son: "When my 12 year old autistic son gets overly fractious he either goes in the bath or goes outside....... always works ❤."

Another expanded the idea to "just add water," including things like watercolor, playing in the sink, etc.: "I have heard the phrase 'just add water' as well. When things are crazy just think of ways to add water to it. Waterpaints, playing with the hose outside, taking a bath, filling the sink up and adding toys, fill small Tupperware bowls with water and let their imagination go wild, taking a drink, giving them a wet paper towel for ouchies, etc. It's one of my favorite pieces of advice I've gotten."

Some parents shared that holding their colicky newborn in the shower was the only thing that helped calm them down. Others said that baths were a sanity saver for their kids' entire early childhoods. Some said that simply stepping outside with a cranky baby was enough to get them to stop fussing most of the time.

It's good advice for us adults, too, when we're feeling frazzled. Soaking in a tub or going for a walk seem like such simple things, but they really can make a huge difference in how we feel and how we view things.

Add water or go outside: A solid tip for new parents and a great life hack for all ages.

Pastor Jeremy Serrano has some valuable parenting tips.

Every group of teenage friends usually has that one house with the “cool parents” where everyone can hang out. It’s usually a place where there isn’t much judgment but plenty of snacks and a teen-friendly place to hang like a garage, living room or basement.

There are two types of parents who don’t mind having teens over all the time. One type allows the kids to drink and party because, “you’re gonna do it anyway, might as well do it here.” The other kind likes having kids around so they can be sure they don’t get into that type of trouble.

Jeremy Serrano, a Lutheran pastor in Northern California who has three children ages 12, 15 and 17, recently went viral on TikTok for explaining why parents should strive to “Be that house!” where kids hang out.


@jeremypserrano

Be that house! #parenting #parentsoftiktok #progressiveclergy

"I was talking to another parent the other day and they asked me, 'Why do you always have teenagers over at your house?'" Serrano said on TikTok. "One of the things that we've worked really hard on is being the house that the teenage friends of my children want to hang out at."

The Serrano house is a teenagers’ paradise. It’s stocked with snacks and has an ax-throwing target, basketball hoop and trampoline.

"My wife and I, we intentionally ask our children's friends what kind of food and drinks they like and then we make sure that we have those things on hand for them," he said in the video.

"It's just one of the best things that we've ever done," added Serrano. "Because we get to know our kids' friends and then we know that they're hanging out here."

The house may be a place where kids can let loose, but there’s no illicit partying happening. "We have boundaries and don't allow that here," he told Today. "In fact, I'd lose credibility with my children by not providing boundaries."

The TikTok post received a lot of positive comments from people who loved growing up in “that house.”

"My mother law told me once… food, drinks, and activities will always be cheaper than lawyers, legal fees, and therapists," anmccoy74 wrote. "This was my house growing up and my mom said that when I went away to college she lost not just one son but more like 5 sons," Gridpod added.

"I've always said I want to be the house the kids go hang out at so I can be a trusted place for them but most importantly my kids tell me their lives," Addie Davis wrote.

Serrano told Today that the teens are comfortable coming to him for advice because of the open environment he’s created. "I was really honored that my children pointed their friends to me—the first time it happened I was like, 'Whoa that is a big deal,'" he said. "My rule is, they can share our conversations with anyone they want, but I won't. If their parents ask if we've talked, I won't lie, but I'll point them back to their children."

After his post went viral, the pastor posted a subsequent video where he shared some tips on how to create “that house.”

@jeremypserrano

Replying to @moeffinmary tip#1 be a non judgmental presence. #parenting #parentingtips

"I think the number one way to be ‘that house’ is to be parents that provide a non-judgmental presence and non-judgmental listening to your kids' friends,” Serrano said.

He added that it’s important to "really get to know their sides of things. To really try to understand how they're feeling in response to situations.” Serrano says parents shouldn’t think of what the teens are saying as “good or bad” but just to “be there and listen to them."

In the end, having “that house” is all about creating a great environment for the entire family. "We get to be involved in our children's lives," he says. "And provide a safe space among chaos in the world."