Few people spend more meaningful time with kids than their teachers. From the classroom to the playground to after-school pickup, teachers witness daily moments that often reveal what a child’s home life is like…and which parents are consistently showing up for their kids.
In a viral Reddit thread, user @allsfairinwar asked educators:
“Teachers of Reddit: What are some small, subtle ways you can tell a child’s parent really cares about them?”
Thousands of educators—from kindergarten teachers to high school staff—offered thoughtful, heartfelt insight. Their answers reveal that caring isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
Below are some of the most touching observations from teachers who see these small moments every day.
Parents who show up emotionally
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They pause and show interest—even when busy.
"When the parent stops and actually looks at their kid's art/work/listens about their day before heading home. I know everyone gets busy but damn don't shove the art your kid is proud of right in their bag without first looking at it. We do the same piece of art for a week. They spent 2 hours on that, spare 2 minutes to show them their effort is worth something to you." —@Worldly_Might_3183
They listen when their child speaks.
"When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens." —@homerbartbob
They know the details of their child’s day.
"When the parents are familiar with the child’s friends and talk to their child’s friends, I know they’re listening to their child talk about their day at school. Or when parents let slip that they got a full recap of something I said or that happened at school. I know they are having conversations with their child at home, and paying attention." —@Pinkrivrdolphn
Parents who celebrate their child’s joy
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They let their child share what they love—even the random stuff.
"When the kid is happy/quick to tell their parents about things. Not just serious or important things, but just random bullsh*t. Do I care about Minecraft? Not really. Do I care that my kid cares about Minecraft? Very much. Lay it on me kid. Spare no detail." —@IJourden
They greet them with genuine enthusiasm.
"The moment that a parent greets the child at the end of the day is very telling. Some parents clearly want to know all about their child's day and connect with them, some don't." —@Smug010
They speak lovingly about their own kids.
"When I make positive contact home and the parent speaks glowingly about their own kid. It’s great to hear." —@outtodryclt
Parents who teach independence and accountability
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They let kids fail…and learn.
"They let their kids fail and experience natural consequences. Good parents are preparing their children to be adults, and part of that is learning responsibility and accountability. Let your kids make mistakes and learn from them!" —@oboe_you_didnt
They don’t make excuses for harmful behavior.
"A good parent knows that their kids isn't perfect and if the kid does something wrong (like hitting or bullying other kids) they don't look for excuses, or for how the other kid provoked that behavior, but helps their kid understand why their behavior was hurtful." —@SadlyNotDannyDeVito
That includes basic hygiene.
"It doesn’t always mean everything is perfect at home, but a child who is well-groomed is always a good sign. That doesn’t always mean the most fashionable clothes or perfect hair, just that the child is clean, their clothes are clean and appropriate for the weather. Also when a child knows how to celebrate their own wins and isn’t afraid of making a mistake or being wrong- that shows that their parents have modeled good emotional regulation." —@itscornelectric
Parents who make home feel safe
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Kids who feel safe look forward to time off.
"You can tell a lot about home life based on students behavior the week leading up to a break. If they are happy/excited/giddy/endearingly obnoxious I know they are going somewhere safe to someone who cares. The students who don’t have that are often increasingly anxious/angry/withdrawn/acting out." —@pulchritudinousprout
Parents who model kindness
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They talk to their kids about empathy.
"A few years back, I heard a parent ask their kid if they found someone to be kind to today. That made a real impact on me. Now I try to remind my own kids to 'find someone to be kind to' if I’m doing drop off and/or ask 'Who were you kind to today?' after school." —@AspiringFicWriter
And about healthy communication
"They ask thoughtful questions. Even something that seems routine to adults like, 'How is/was your day?' I'm in elementary, and it's appropriate for kids to talk mostly about themselves. Kids who ask thoughtful questions are doing so because it's consistently modeled. It's also not very common (again, age appropriate egocentrism) so it stands out." —@mundane-mondays
Parents who are active in their kid's education
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"When you know they're being exposed to reading at home. Maybe they can read at a higher level or they're mastering their sight words. For students with learning disabilities, the kids are trying their hardest to read, using context clues, using pictures and making up a story, or even making different voices for characters. When I was in a low functioning Autistic support room, this one little boy couldn't form words, but he made noises is different voices and used dramatic face expressions on each page to represent characters talking." —@Mediocre-Bee-9262
This includes speech therapy, occupational therapy, vision/hearing checks, or specialized support for disabilities. Teachers notice when a parent advocates.
"They get them services when they’re struggling. I work with kids with disabilities and the learning outcomes/experience of school (and by extension, the greater world) for kids who have their needs met is far different to those who don’t. The number of parents who respond to a teacher saying 'I think it might be worth John seeing an OT/a speech therapist/ getting his eyes checked' with something along the lines of 'f*ck you, what would you know?' Is astounding. The parents who make appointments, share information from specialists with the school, and are proactive about their children’s abilities or disabilities - their kids see such improvements." —@prison_industrial_co
A final thought
When teachers describe what “good parenting” looks like, they aren’t talking about perfect lunches, straight-A report cards, or over-the-top involvement. They’re talking about curiosity, healthy communication, accountability, kindness, and presence
None of this requires perfection. Just intentional love, repeated in little ways.
This article appeared in June. It has been updated.
