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patriotism

Modern Families

Military mom takes her son's 'battle buddy' on family weekend. Now she's his 'second mom.'

Unconventional families are one of the most important parts of modern military life.

Image via Canva

Mom welcomes son's battle buddy into family.

Military families are a rare breed. The selfless, intimate bond that they share is a unique experience. And for the families that support those in active duty military service, there is plenty of love to go around.

For military mom and TikToker @cocobutter801, that has meant rallying around her son who serves in the United States Army and his 'battle buddy'. When he needed a place to go on family weekend, she didn't hesitate for a second to open her home to him.

Her actions go beyond hospitality. To her, her son's battle buddy is family. "Here's your sign to take in your son's battle buddy on family weekend," she writes in the video's caption.

@cocobutter801

I came here for one son and left with two. #miltary #militarymom #family #son #battlebuddy #hooah #fyp

In the emotional clip that is set to Pearl Clarkin's song "Military Man", the mom can be seen standing next to her car, ready to bring her son home for the weekend. The two share a big hug, and her son is dressed in his fatigues, wearing a backpack and carrying a bag.

Then, she hugs her son's 'battle buddy', who is also dressed in his fatigues with bags in tow, who will be coming home to be part of their family. She added in the caption, "I came here for one son and left with two."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The term battle buddy is unique to the Unites States Military. According to Matt Ward, an Army veteran (who is now a second lieutenant in the US Army Reserves) and YouTuber, explains the meaning and depth of what a battle buddy is. He explains that a battle buddy is anyone going through basic training with you.

"At basic training, you're always going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you talk to a drill sergeant, you're going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you go to the bathroom (latrine), you're going to have a battle buddy with you," he says. "You have to be with someone at all times."

Ward add that while there are a lot of reasons for having a battle buddy, the biggest are accountability and safety.

@cocobutter801

Sometimes I feel like motherhood just keeps getting harder the older they get. 🥹♥️🇺🇸 ##army##militarymom##nationalguard##texas

In the video shared by @cocobutter801, many military families and members commended her on her big, hospitable heart. They also shared about their experiences with battle buddies. "My son told me his battle buddy wasn’t receiving letters so I wrote 2 a week," one shared. Another commented, "People don’t realize how much this means to soldiers that for whatever reason can’t be with their 'blood' family… instead they get welcomed into a new extended family!!!! Much respect!!!"

Another wrote, "one of my best friends let me join him and his family, i cherish those memories. sadly he is no longer with us but 15 years later I still talk to his family. I'm forever grateful for their kindness." And @cocobutter801 replied, "I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure they love you still are in contact with them. I know I would."

In another comment, a viewer shared, "My son just asked for 2 to come home w him in May!! Load the truck up son!! ALWAYS!!" And @cocobutter801 responded, "Always!"

The American flag is supposed to be a symbol of what unites us.

But, unfortunately, the symbolism of Old Glory often gets muddled. When patriotism gets conflated with extreme nationalism, the flag becomes a symbol of xenophobia. When people fly the flag with pride while preaching of intolerance, our flag becomes a symbol of bigotry. When the banner itself is held higher in importance than the freedoms for which it stands, our flag becomes a false idol.

I've long believed patriotism doesn't belong only to those who define it by narrow, nationalistic standards. However, those are the folks who usually pop into my mind when I think of people who show their patriotism with a flag. And I'm not alone.


Courtney Hartman was tired of the flag being associated with intolerance and hatred. So she decided to reclaim it.

The designer and founder of kids' clothing line Free to Be Kids felt like the American flag was being hijacked by hate. She put out a call for help two years ago:

"I want to try to make an American flag design where the stripes are comprised of words like compassion, understanding, justice, equality, liberty, love, etc. To show the American flag as a symbol of the things that we do love and should love about this country. It's an ambitious design idea and I don't know if I can pull it off but I feel like we all could kind of use this perspective on America right now and I'd like to try.

So... I could really use your help with words of love for America!"

People responded, and the America the Wonderful shirt design was born.

[rebelmouse-image 19477798 dam="1" original_size="600x600" caption="Image via Free to Be Kids." expand=1]Image via Free to Be Kids.

Character qualities and humanitarian values make up the stars and stripes in a bold and beautiful statement.

With words like love, compassion, hope, justice, peace, diversity, equality, inclusivity, and more, Hartman reclaimed the flag as a symbol of what America really stands for — or at least what she wants it to aspire to be.

"We've committed so many atrocities," says Hartman. "But America was designed to be better, to learn and grow and improve. So the values represented in our design could be seen as aspirational. Or maybe they are just our good side — what Michelle Obama in her DNC speech called 'our national virtues.' We have a lot to face up to, but I believe that the words represented on our flag design are a vision of the America that so many people want us to be."

Hartman rearranged the 50 stars over the blue field into the word "LOVE," and not just because it fit well. Love is the key, and it serves as an anchor for everything else.

"We need to wear our love like a breastplate, our justice like armor," Hartman wrote on the company's blog. "Because love is what will prevail. When hate is loud, love must not be silent. ... Love, love, love is what will take back our country." Indeed.

Thank you, Free to Be Kids, for taking back our flag and reminding America that healthy patriotism and progressive values are in no way mutually exclusive.

We were not compensated to write this article — we'd tell you if we were! — we just really loved this design and what it stands for.

When U.S. Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn is racing down snowy South Korean mountains in February, you can bet President Donald Trump will be the last person on her mind.

Ahead of the Winter Games this year in Pyeongchang, the 33-year-old gold medalist sat down with CNN's Christina MacFarlane to chat about competing once again for Team USA and the possibility of winning her second gold medal.


Vonn at the Vancouver Winter Olympics in 2010. Photo by Francis Bompard/Agence Zoom/Getty Images.

But the topic veered away from sports at one point and, as conversations often do these days, turned to Trump.

"You previously competed at three Olympic games under two presidents," MacFarlane asked. "How will it feel competing at an Olympic games for a United States whose president is Donald Trump?”

“Well, I hope to represent the people of the United States — not the president," Vonn said, her tone clearly reflecting strong disapproval of Trump.

"I take the Olympics very seriously and what they mean and what they represent, what walking under our flag means in the opening ceremonies," she continued. "I want to represent our country well, and I don't think there are a lot of people currently in our government that do that," she concluded.

Vonn's patriotism and fervent opposition to Trumpism come at a remarkable moment in presidential history.

Unlike his recent predecessors, Trump has intentionally waded into controversy, capitalizing on cultural wars by attacking black and brown professional athletes who've protested during the national anthem at their games. Contrary to the president's claims, the players aren't protesting the flag, military, or anthem itself but rather using the moment to peacefully draw attention to racial inequality in our criminal justice system — namely, police brutality.

As a prolific American athlete, Vonn's disapproval of Trump coinciding with her patriotism — which is focused on the people of the U.S. and not its leader — shouldn't be overlooked.

When asked by CNN if she'd accept an invitation to the White House by the Trump administration, Vonn quickly responded, "Absolutely not."

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John McCain's emotional, career-encompassing speech will live on for generations to come.

Looking back on a long career, John McCain lands on an important lesson about life.

Months after being diagnosed with brain cancer, John McCain delivered one of the best speeches of his long political career.

The 81-year-old Arizona senator was this year's recipient of the Constitution Center's Liberty Medal, an award given annually to an individual who exemplifies "courage and conviction" and strives "to secure the blessings of liberty to people around the globe." Recent past recipients include Rep. John Lewis, the Dalai Lama, Malala Yousafzai, and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

After being introduced by former Vice President Joe Biden, McCain gave a speech that really needs to be heard by people across the political spectrum.


McCain called on lawmakers to find common ground and reject the hyper-partisanship that's infected Washington in recent years.

While he and Biden didn't always agree on policy during their time as colleagues in the U.S. Senate, McCain noted, they never doubted that the other had the best interests of the country in mind. Politics, McCain suggests, used to be more than just a game of power.

"We believed in the institution we were privileged to serve in," McCain said of his working relationship with the former VP. "We believed in our mutual responsibility to help make the place work and to cooperate in finding solutions to our country’s problems. We believed in our country and in our country’s indispensability to international peace and stability and to the progress of humanity. And through it all, whether we argued or agreed, Joe was good company."

[rebelmouse-image 19529740 dam="1" original_size="500x281" caption=""We believed in our mutual responsibility to ... cooperate in finding solutions to our country's problems." GIF from CNN/YouTube." expand=1]"We believed in our mutual responsibility to ... cooperate in finding solutions to our country's problems." GIF from CNN/YouTube.

The most headline-grabbing portion of McCain's speech was a call to reject fear and embrace the obligations the U.S. has made to the international community.

Nationalism and "America First" attitudes didn't make America great; our commitment to the outside world did. It's at this point in his speech where the war hero begins to get a bit choked up, reflecting on the country as it is and as it should be.

He asked those around him to reject "half-baked, spurious nationalism cooked up by people who would rather find scapegoats than solve problems," calling that attitude and those policies unpatriotic.

[rebelmouse-image 19529741 dam="1" original_size="500x281" caption=""We live in a land made of ideals, not blood and soil. We are the custodians of those ideals at home and their champion abroad." GIF from CNN/YouTube." expand=1]"We live in a land made of ideals, not blood and soil. We are the custodians of those ideals at home and their champion abroad." GIF from CNN/YouTube.

The common thread between those two points — finding common ground with those we disagree with and rejecting isolationism — is empathy.

To be sure, McCain's positions haven't always reflected an empathetic worldview. With hawkish positions on foreign policy and his past pushes to gut the Affordable Care Act, he's certainly an imperfect messenger of an important lesson. In this speech, though, as he reflected on some of the brightest moments in his career, it is the basic bond of human empathy as a motivating factor that stands out the most.

"I’ve seen Americans make sacrifices for our country and her causes and for people who were strangers to them but for our common humanity, sacrifices that were much harder than the service asked of me," he said, his voice wavering ever so slightly, tinged with emotion. "And I’ve seen the good they have done, the lives they freed from tyranny and injustice, the hope they encouraged, the dreams they made achievable."

Watch John McCain deliver his powerful, thoughtful retrospective on life as a public servant below.