upworthy

military families

Modern Families

Military mom takes her son's 'battle buddy' on family weekend. Now she's his 'second mom.'

Unconventional families are one of the most important parts of modern military life.

Image via Canva

Mom welcomes son's battle buddy into family.

Military families are a rare breed. The selfless, intimate bond that they share is a unique experience. And for the families that support those in active duty military service, there is plenty of love to go around.

For military mom and TikToker @cocobutter801, that has meant rallying around her son who serves in the United States Army and his 'battle buddy'. When he needed a place to go on family weekend, she didn't hesitate for a second to open her home to him.

Her actions go beyond hospitality. To her, her son's battle buddy is family. "Here's your sign to take in your son's battle buddy on family weekend," she writes in the video's caption.

@cocobutter801

I came here for one son and left with two. #miltary #militarymom #family #son #battlebuddy #hooah #fyp

In the emotional clip that is set to Pearl Clarkin's song "Military Man", the mom can be seen standing next to her car, ready to bring her son home for the weekend. The two share a big hug, and her son is dressed in his fatigues, wearing a backpack and carrying a bag.

Then, she hugs her son's 'battle buddy', who is also dressed in his fatigues with bags in tow, who will be coming home to be part of their family. She added in the caption, "I came here for one son and left with two."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The term battle buddy is unique to the Unites States Military. According to Matt Ward, an Army veteran (who is now a second lieutenant in the US Army Reserves) and YouTuber, explains the meaning and depth of what a battle buddy is. He explains that a battle buddy is anyone going through basic training with you.

"At basic training, you're always going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you talk to a drill sergeant, you're going to have a battle buddy with you. Whenever you go to the bathroom (latrine), you're going to have a battle buddy with you," he says. "You have to be with someone at all times."

Ward add that while there are a lot of reasons for having a battle buddy, the biggest are accountability and safety.

@cocobutter801

Sometimes I feel like motherhood just keeps getting harder the older they get. 🥹♥️🇺🇸 ##army##militarymom##nationalguard##texas

In the video shared by @cocobutter801, many military families and members commended her on her big, hospitable heart. They also shared about their experiences with battle buddies. "My son told me his battle buddy wasn’t receiving letters so I wrote 2 a week," one shared. Another commented, "People don’t realize how much this means to soldiers that for whatever reason can’t be with their 'blood' family… instead they get welcomed into a new extended family!!!! Much respect!!!"

Another wrote, "one of my best friends let me join him and his family, i cherish those memories. sadly he is no longer with us but 15 years later I still talk to his family. I'm forever grateful for their kindness." And @cocobutter801 replied, "I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure they love you still are in contact with them. I know I would."

In another comment, a viewer shared, "My son just asked for 2 to come home w him in May!! Load the truck up son!! ALWAYS!!" And @cocobutter801 responded, "Always!"

The Austin family in Concord, New Hampshire, went through a roller coaster of emotions shortly after the ball dropped to ring in the new year.

Their fourth child, a son named Cainan, was the first baby born in the city in 2017, at 7:44 a.m. on New Year's Day.

Hours earlier, around 1 a.m., father Lamar Austin also lost his job, via text message no less. But he told the Concord Monitor, "Sometimes you lose something and you get something even better."


Lamar with his new son, Cainan. Photo provided by Lamar Austin, used with permission.

Austin made an honorable choice to put family first. His former employer made a choice too — one that sounds heartless, but was legal.

An Army ammunition specialist who served six months in Iraq, Austin struggled to find steady work to support his family after he left the service. He had bounced around a variety of jobs, from crossing guard to fryer manufacturing, and relied on support from veterans programs and his local church community. "It’s been tough, but God has always provided for me when I needed it," he said in an interview with the Concord Monitor. "Some kind of help always came in the strangest forms."

In the fall of 2016, he received an opportunity to put his military training to use at Salerno Protective Services, a private security firm based in New Hampshire. Austin was hired on a part-time basis for a 90-day trial period, during which he was reportedly expected to be on call 24/7.

Main Street, Concord, New Hampshire. Photo by John Phelan/Wikimedia Commons.

The problem is much, much bigger than Austin and this one company.

Even if Austin were a full-time, salaried employee with an expectation of job security, it might not have mattered.

New Hampshire is an "employment at-will" state, which essentially means contractual employees can be terminated from a job at any time, without reason. Some states do have limitations on this law, but not the Granite State.

New Hampshire recognizes the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, but for Austin and his family, it wouldn't be enough. Even working full-time at that wage, he would gross just over $15,000 a year, which is well below the poverty line for his family. While New Hampshire might have a low unemployment rate, underemployment is a different story — and the situation can be worse for veterans.

Furthermore, the United States is one of the only developed nations that doesn't guarantee paid parental leave after the birth of a child. Some U.S. companies do choose to offer maternity leave (or at least unpaid time off with a job to return to), but paternity leave is still hard to come by.

The CEO of Salero Protective Systems did admit to an "error in judgement" one week later, and while he and Austin have reportedly made peace with one another, it doesn't change the fact that things like this have happened and will continue to happen as long as the law allows it.

The whole Austin family together. Photo provided by Lamar Austin, used with permission.

Austin's termination was unfortunate. It was also nothing new. This time, however, people are paying attention — and that could make a difference.

Local politicians, including State Senator Dan Feltes and Executive Councilman Andru Volinsky, have voiced their support for both the family and for family-friendly labor policies in general.

Sara Persechino — a Concord resident and total stranger to the Austin family — was so moved by their story that she launched a GoFundMe campaign to help them out, raising more than $8,000 in the first five days. "I don’t think anyone should ever have to choose between their family and their job," she told The Independent.

Even more, Austin has been offered several new job opportunities from people who were touched by his story. Representatives from the local International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers chapter and the AFL-CIO labor federation reached out to encourage him to take advantage of the flexible and family-friendly support nets offered by their respective unions. Austin would still have to start as an apprentice as he hones his trade, but skilled labor could be just what he needs to find steady work.

Austin hasn't made any decisions just yet, as he is focusing on being a good dad to newborn Cainan and a good husband to his wife, Lindsay. He already knows that no matter what happens, he'll always have his family — and that's what matters most.