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Americans' short-sighted focus on 'personal liberty' ended up limiting another type of freedom

Americans' short-sighted focus on 'personal liberty' ended up limiting another type of freedom

As the U.S. crosses the 300,000 COVID-19 deaths milestone, let's take a step back and look at what got us here.

But first, let's tip our hat to those who aren't where we are—to the countries that took swift, decisive action, got the population on the same page about what needed to be done, and kicked pandemic ass. The countries that not only have a tiny fraction of our death toll, but who also have been able to resume normal life in all its glory.

While mandatory quarantines for travelers and contact tracing systems for any cases that slip through the cracks are still in place, countries like Australia, New Zealand, Vietnam, Thailand, and Taiwan are experiencing a level of collective and individual freedom that America—and much of Europe—simply does not have right now. People are attending concerts, plays, sporting events, weddings, etc. without masks or social distancing. People can hug one another without worrying about killing someone. It's literally like a whole other world.

Sure, some of those countries are islands and they all have smaller populations than we do. But the U.S. is bordered by just two countries. Thailand borders four and Vietnam borders three, including China—and our not controlling the coronavirus spread has nothing to do with people crossing our physical borders. And as far as population goes, our large size accounts for raw numbers, but not deaths proportional to population.

Check out the deaths per million statistics among these countries:

Australia: 35

New Zealand: 5

Vietnam: 0.4

Thailand: 0.9

Taiwan: 0.3

United States: 924

We currently have the 12th highest deaths-per-million rate in the world. So much winning, we're sick of winning, right?

It's been said a million times that it didn't have to be this way, and it didn't. But while our government has been blamed for its abysmal response to the pandemic—and while those criticisms are legitimate—that's not the whole problem. It's nice to think that if we had a president that listened to public health officials and provided coherent guidance, we'd be in better shape, and we probably would be to some degree. But a big part of the problem is the American people ourselves.

I love us, but a huge key to controlling a pandemic is getting a population on the same page and getting people to make personal sacrifices for the greater good. It requires a collective commitment, and I'm just not convinced the U.S. is capable of that without a serious rethinking of what our core national value actually means.

The world knows—because we really, really like to shout it from the rooftops—that the U.S. is all about freedom. It's what we were founded on, what we take pride in, and what we cling to as our highest ideal. And we most often define freedom in terms of personal liberty—the right to live our lives the way we choose.

But in a pandemic, personal liberty can be problematic. I know that's hard for some Americans to hear, but it's true. If we all just do whatever we please, we end up right where we are—with an out of control virus killing a 9/11's worth of Americans every day, ten months in, and the ongoing economic hardship that goes along with a half-assed, incohesive attempt to maybe save businesses or maybe save lives. We've ended up with the worst of both worlds—mass death and economic demise—largely due to Americans' insistence upon personal freedom to the deadly and devastating exclusion of everything else.

Let's be clear about the fact that the federal government has not established any mandates or restrictions that violate American freedoms during the pandemic. Decisions about mitigation measures have been left to the states, which is both good and bad. The United States is huge, and logistically it makes more sense for local conditions to guide local responses. However, our borders between counties and states are imaginary lines with no checkpoints or restrictions for travel, which makes for a lot of holes in our collective pandemic control.

I'm not saying that the government should go all willy-nilly with our freedoms; I'm saying that Americans are short-sighted in our vision of what freedom actually means. Too many Americans have exercised their personal liberty in a way that limits our collective freedom (because it leads to out-of-control viral spread) and also ends up limiting personal liberty anyway (because out-of-control viral spread means having to take measures to keep our healthcare system from getting overwhelmed).

I know some people say "collective freedom" isn't a thing, please see the difference between daily life in the U.S. and daily life in Australia right now. Our Aussie friends are living a far freer life than we are, both individually and collectively, because they chose to sacrifice individually so that the whole society could be free from the virus. That's what collective freedom looks like, and they didn't succumb to tyranny to get it. That could have been us, if we stopped seeing everything that isn't "go ahead and do whatever you want" as tyranny.

In a viral pandemic like this one, doing whatever we want is inconducive to true freedom. We're watching this play out in states that were reticent to implement restrictions until now, as hospitals spill over and mandates become necessary for public safety. People exercising their personal freedoms with no regard for public health guidelines results in out-of-control viral spread, which results in social and economic devastation as huge numbers of people get sick and die.

Exercising personal liberty without personal responsibility in a viral pandemic leads to limited freedom for longer, with a lot more pain and suffering, than using our liberty to do what needs to be done to prevent that.

I can already see people bringing up Benjamin Franklin's quote—"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Some version of it comes up any time the government tries to enact anything Americans view as limiting their freedoms, but there are a couple of problems with bringing it up now. Franklin, as it turns out, was specifically talking about a dispute over taxes to fund securing the frontier, not public health in a pandemic. (And despite what people might assume, his quote was actually pro-taxation.) While that quote pushes all the right "my personal freedom" buttons, I'm quite sure that Ben Franklin would be losing his mind over Americans rejecting public health guidelines in the name of "I do what I want" if he were here today.

As an American, I appreciate our nation's commitment to personal liberty. I really do. But we seem to have forgotten that the founding premise of our republic wasn't just an inalienable right to liberty, but to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." When exercising personal liberty costs another American their life, then our national values are in conflict. "Give me liberty or give me death" is great when we're not in a viral pandemic, but "Give me liberty and I will give you death" is what we're currently experiencing.

Freedom can't be merely seen as an end, but as a means. In the next pandemic, I hope my fellow Americans will use their personal liberty to choose do what needs to be done to help us reach collective and individual freedom, rather than cutting off our nose to spite our face by insisting on a puerile version of freedom that only leads to all of us losing both.

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Family

Married couple says the '3-Hour Night' hack has totally improved their marriage

“It's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go.”

@racheleehiggins/TikTok

Want out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.

Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast-paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode of your favorite show on Netflix.

And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things. According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.

bored, couple, marriage hack, man ywaning, concerned woman A couple that has lost their spark.via Canva/Photos

What is the 3-Hour Night marriage hack?

The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives at the beginning of 2024. And so far, “it's been so fun and such...a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

But with a three-hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three sections, each for a different focus.In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

“So, start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either ... has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that's productive for the household,” she explains.


@rachelleehiggins

if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals

Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

“So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that's gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you're doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how work's going or whatever. So, anything that's gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated to anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity. Since this is a judgment-free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lie on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever, like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

happy coupe, couple in bed, young married couple, man with beard, smiling woman A happy couple in bed.via Canva/Photos

Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly, even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

"Such a good idea. Good for us empty nesters too! The phone scrolling is outta control!"one commenter wrote. "This is really cool. The housework is equal. The emotional connection is equal and the self care is equal. No room for resentment," another added. "We don’t have kids yet but I love this and want to do it because the nights slip away so fast!!" a commenter added.

Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

Plus, a three-hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high a priority your relationship has in your life, no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you'll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought.

This article originally appeared last year.

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'Let them play': Longtime teacher says today's kindergarten standards are out of control

Recess is being replaced with more and more worksheets.

@the_wondermint/TikTok

A teacher laments how hard kindergarten has gotten and the pressure on young kids.

It’s nothing new for parents to lament their kid’s ever-growing list of school requirements. From piles of homework to getting graded for school supplies, the pressures seem to be not only racking up over time, but spreading to younger and younger grades. And it’s not just parents who have noticed the shift.

Recently, longtime kindergarten teacher Ms. Kelli, of the TikTok account @the_wondermint, reflected on how different it is for students at even at the most introductory level: Kindergarten.

We all know how intense the pressure is for high schoolers looking to get into college. Two or three decades ago, SAT tutoring and prep courses were a luxury for wealthy families. Now they've viewed as essential. But what's taking parents, and teachers, off guard is how the elevated standards are trickling down to little kids who are barely out of diapers.

In the clip, Kelli begins, “So I just gotta ask, as a 20-year kindergarten teacher myself, remember when we went to kindergarten that we just had to be potty trained and not eat the glue?” Comparing that to the long list of requirements nowadays, the educator says she feels sorry for families going through it.

“My heart breaks when I see all these videos of what do you need to do to prepare your child for kindergarten, and things your child must know before going to kindergarten, and these lists of things that parents need to be working on.”

One teacher agreed in a recent Reddit thread: "When I first taught Kindergarten in Wisconsin in 2009 the standard was to count to thirty. By 2012, the standard had changed to one hundred."

kindergarten, school, education, kids, parents, parenting, teachers, curriculum, elementary school, generational differences, culture Modern curriculums have teachers feeling like this. Giphy

Another parent chimed in: "Our kindergarten has them count to 100. Know 40 sight words by the end of kindergarten. Begins teaching reading and phonics ... they learned to write their names within the first two weeks and are expected to do that and the date on every assignment. Each week they make a letter book for a different letter but they expected them to go into kindergarten knowing all their letters. They have math packet every week for take home. ... I mean I love it, he’s learning a lot but he does get quite a bit of work. Two packets do a week. So we do a page a night from each so it’s done by Thursday night."

(Remember, these kids are about five years old. They can barely eat spaghetti without drenching themselves in pasta sauce, and we're expecting them to sit down and do worksheets!)

Another added, "My son’s school routinely takes away recess. They do it if they don’t get enough school work finished during the day, or if the class misbehaves too much, or one single child can get it taken away. It’s also at the end of the day, so the kids are slaving away learning for six hours before maybe getting a break."

It's not just the parents who are noticing, either. A study out of the University of Virginia in 2016 found that kindergarten standards and curriculums at the time were far more similar to first grade curriculums from the previous decade. And the standards have only gotten higher since.

Keli says she's had enough. She argues that, “Human development hasn't changed. What a five or six-year-old child is physically, mentally and developmentally able to do hasn't changed, in all these years.”

Still, the standards have changed. And kids are paying the price.

So she encourages fellow teachers and parents to not force the educational aspect.

“The learning will come. The development will come, the ABCs, the one, two, threes, writing, all of it, it will come ... Curriculum, it will happen. The learning, it will happen,” she says.

@the_wondermint

Little bit of a plea and PSA for the day… let them be kids! #teachersontiktok #teachertok #teachersoftiktok #iteachk #kindergarten #ilovekindergarten #iloveteaching #foryoupage #teacherforyoupage #fypage #teacherfyp #playbasedlearning #seethewonderkeepitfresh #handsonlearning #reggioemilia #letthemexplore #parentsontiktok #parentsoftiktok #kindergartenparents #kinderprep #backtoschool

Instead of placing more pressure, Kelli suggests a gentler, simpler approach.

“Let them play, let them socialize with each other. Let them learn to be away from their mommy and daddy and be sad for a little bit and be comforted. Let them find friendships that are gonna make them laugh so hard that their bellies ache and tell stories that go home. Let them create something that they never thought they could. Let them do an art project where they turn a box into a robot and they’re so excited to show their parents!”

In short: “let kids be kids.”

Kelli’s video seemed to really resonate with parents and teachers alike, who have definitely felt like certain aspects of childhood have been sacrificed in the name of “productivity.” Especially when it comes to homework.

“Yes! My son struggled in Kindergarten last year and even had homework! I could not believe what all he had to know. Teacher said he had a hard time paying attention… yeah he is 5!” one mom shared.

“Finally someone said it,” added another. “The curriculum is insane for elementary school kiddos. They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

One person noted that “the kindergarten report card used to be things like skipping, walking on a balance beam, the hardest thing was counting to 100.”

kindergarten, school, education, kids, parents, parenting, teachers, curriculum, elementary school, generational differences, culture Learning to skip used to be the hardest part of kindergarten. Giphy

As for whether or not a more academic-focused approach to kindergarten is, in fact, less beneficial to kids— a 2019 study in the American Educational Research Journal did find that it led to improvements, both academic and interpersonal, in the long run.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean we need to load them up with a ton of work for after school. Another study reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times the recommended amount of homework.

This is why Kelli created a follow up video sharing why she doesn’t assign homework to her own students.

@the_wondermint

Replying to @Drea_keevs Controversial but yet it shouldn’t be… 5 year olds should not be doing homework! Talk as a family, snuggle and read, enjoy their favorite sport activity, have a dance party! Their days are filled inside school, make the time outside of school good for their hearts and souls! #t#teachersontiktokt#teachertokt#teachersoftiktoki#iteachkk#kindergarteni#ilovekindergarteni#iloveteachingf#foryoupaget#teacherforyoupagef#fypaget#teacherfypp#playbasedlearnings#seethewonderkeepitfreshh#handsonlearningr#reggioemilial#letthemexploreparentsontiktok #parentsoftiktok #parentingtips #homework #homeworkhelp

“We are covering what we’re covering in the five or six hours with these little babies, and if we can’t cover that in that time, we’re definitely not gonna get the best out of them at 5, 6 o’clock at night when they’re tired and they should be enjoying time with their family,” she said.

She does, however, advocate trying to instill a “love of reading,” if you can count that as homework. But even then, that assignment looks more like snuggling in bed, cozying up with a book, and having their parents read it to them.

Point being: of course school is meant to help set up students for success. But if it robs them of their precious, formative, and oh-so-temporary childhood, then is it really worth it?

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Mental Health

The CREEP method makes it easy to see if you're being played by a narcissist or manipulator

"Don't get played."

via Canva/Photos

A woman who is skeptical of her man.

If you are a psychologically healthy person, it’s easy to fall victim to a narcissist or manipulator because you’re not assuming that other people are playing games with you. You just go along to get along. But if you’re in a relationship with a manipulator, they could be playing a long game that slowly unfolds until the moment you realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Hopefully, that time comes sooner rather than later. Some people have relationships that last for decades before they realize they have been manipulated.

A popular TikTok user named @Mewmewsha, who refers to herself as "Older Sister," is going viral for a video where she makes it easy to understand the tactics that a manipulator or narcissist may use to control you. She presents it in an easy-to-comprehend anagram—CREEP—which outlines the stages of manipulation, and she also shares her methods for countering each stage. CREEP stands for charm, rage, envy, entitlement, and pity.

“Everyone who's ever manipulated you was following a playbook, and I'm gonna teach it to you so you can recognize when it's happening to you. Cause if you don't learn the game, you'll keep getting played,” she opens her video.

@mewmewsha

Learn the game so you stop getting played - here’s how to outsmart manipulators and covert narcissists by learning their playbook

What is the CREEP playbook used by covert narcissists and manipulators?

1. Charm

“They will act like your soulmate or best friend. They'll flatter you, mirror you, they'll use your language, they'll adopt your mannerisms, and you'll feel so seen and understood. And it is very intoxicating and very deliberate. They are building emotional leverage, they're collecting data. Charm is the bait. And once you're hooked, it only gets worse.”

Counter: “Slow down, because if it's genuine, that charm will last. But if it's fake, soon enough, when charm doesn't get them what they want, you will meet rage.”

2. Rage

“Rage can be loud, but it can also be quiet. It's not always explosive. It can be cold and cruel, stonewalling, contempt, a sudden withdrawal of love and attention. …It's designed to confuse you and guilt you and make you think you need to fix something because you wanna go back to the charming person that was just there a second ago.”

Counter: “You need to detach emotionally, give them nothing, absorb nothing. And the moment you can, you need to leave.”

3. Envy

“Narcissists hate it when you're happy, successful, and independent because it makes you harder to control. Envy will show its face in subtle sabotage. They'll be trying to undermine your achievements. They'll constantly be trying to humble you.”

Counter: Share less, move in silence. The more they know, the more they’ll sabotage you.

narcissist, manipulator, covert narcissist, self-absorbed woman, princess, blonde woman A narcissistic woman.via Canva/Photos

4. Entitlement

“Since they feel like they own you, they expect access to you, your time, and your energy always.”

Counter: Set boundaries.

5. Pity

“When all else fails, they'll act like the victim. They will use your empathy against you. They'll weaponize sadness. They'll cry. They'll act helpless and defenseless. They'll dredge up some old trauma. They will make themselves the victim so they can guilt you into compliance.”

Counter: “Be kind, not nice. Being nice puts you at risk. It makes you feel responsible and self-sacrificial. But when you are kind, it means you have compassion with boundaries.”


It’s worth noting that @mewmewsha isn’t a licensed therapist, so when it comes to mental health issues, it's best to consult a professional. However, her advice does mirror a lot of the standard wisdom surrounding narcissists and manipulators. An article reviewed by Yolanda Renteria, LPC, notes that narcissists have an abuse cycle that repeats itself: “It involves first idealizing a person, then devaluing them, repeating the cycle, and eventually discarding them when they are of no further use.”

We should also be careful not to assume that when someone we know starts acting enviously or entitled, it necessarily means they are a narcissist. It could just be part of normal behavior and emotions. We all have our bad days and personality quirks. So, the counters mentioned above are a great way to tackle everyday interactions with friends, family members, and coworkers when they take a turn for the negative. But when their behaviors start to fit the classic narcissistic and manipulative narrative, then it’s time to be concerned and to question their motivation.

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Doorbell camera catches a UPS driver in a moment of contagious joy over a simple snack

Her adorable orangutan walk says it all.

@kenistoc/Reddit

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch went viral last holiday season.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her exclamation of, "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

mail, delivery, ups, happy, dance Its Mail Time GIF Giphy

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

kindness, goodness, connection, people, gif I Feel This Love GIF by Cynthia Erivo Giphy

This story originally appeared last year.

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A toddler kept tapping a woman's arm on a plane. Her response is a great lesson for everyone.

"Those small hands are a sign of absolute tenderness."

via @Cosmic-Chen/Reddit

What do you do when a little hand comes out of nowhere to feel your arm?

Being locked in a metal box with 150 random people all hurtling through the air at 30,000 feet is quite the social experiment, but one many of us do willingly in this age of air travel. One of the most notable parts of that experiment is that you never know who's going to sit near you on an airplane. Will you get the quiet reader? The Chatty Cathy? The cougher who doesn't cover their mouth? The sweet-but-over-perfumed old lady? The parent with a baby who screams from takeoff to landing?

Flying can feel like a game of roulette, especially when you find yourself sitting near one of the most unpredictable forces on Earth—a toddler. Tiny tots can make for the most delightful trip ever or the most annoying one, but as one couple demonstrates, the difference sometimes comes down to our own attitude.

A video shared on Reddit reads, "We were on the plane when this baby's hand kept reaching out and touching my arm from behind…" At first, we see a zoomed-in shot of a woman's arm next to the window as a little hand reaches around the side of her seat and taps her repeatedly and enthusiastically. Then the camera pans to the woman's face and the face of the man with her, and their expressions say it all.


Clearly, the child is enjoying the feel of the woman's arm. Tap tap tap, rub rub, squeeze, tap tap. No hesitation, zero sense of decorum, just a totally oblivious toddler sensory experience. A little annoying? Probably. Pure and wholesome and worthy of a laugh? Absolutely.

This woman could have asked the parent to stop their child from touching her (and she may have eventually). Not everyone finds small children cute and some people have sensory issues of their own that make such encounters more bothersome than it would be for others. But assuming the toddler arm massage was temporary and that the parents saw what was happening and stopped it, the reaction of the couple is a perfect example of finding the joy in life and rolling with the punches.

As the post reads, "Those small hands are a sign of absolute tenderness," and people are loving the immediate mirthful reaction the pair had to the wee one's curious little fingers.

baby hands, toddler hands, small hands, adult hand, fingers An adult touching a toddler's hand.via Canva/Photos

"Nothing cuter than seeing a baby flailing their arms and slapping things because they are happy. They have no control. They just know they’re happy."

'The baby slaps 'yep this is good arm' tap tap."

"My grandma had the softest bat wings in the world. I used to love to touch them. I’m sure she was self conscious about it but I loved them lol."

"As a parent I would be horrified to discover my kid was doing this but so relieved that they were such good sports about it. These are the types of people we need on airplanes."

"Same, I’m always concerned how my kid behaves on a plane ride (and he freaking loves being on a plane) but I find most people to be such good sports around him. Love when it works out that way. Though I 10/10 would have snatched that hand away soon as I noticed 😂😂😂."

"The people laughing were so kind! I can imagine some people would lose it if a child did this but they just enjoyed it. 🥰"

"Seriously! Seeing the humor in everyday life says a lot about their temperament. They seem like great folks."

Some people shared their own stories of toddlers similarly pawing at perfect strangers. It's helpful to remember that these little ones have only been on the planet for a hot minute and they barely have anything figured out yet. The nuances of what and whom to touch and not to touch takes a while, as does having the impulse control to not just reach out and feel whatever looks soft or interesting in the moment.

toddler on plane, airplane, plane window, mom and toddler, curious child, airplane seats A toddler looking out of an airplane window.via Canva/Photos

"When my sister was a baby, she had an obsession with hair. My mom had her on a plane when she was probably 15 months or so and she was practically vibrating about the young woman seated next to my mom. She had Marida hair - massive red curls down to her waist.

Mom leaned over to her and said, 'I am sorry to bother you, but my baby has a hair fetish. She may try to reach over and touch your hair, just let me know if she bothers you. She won’t pull on purpose, she’s just gonna want to touch it.'

The lady thought it was cute and let my sister hold her hair balled up in her little fists for the whole flight. I think I’ve head this story about 17161626185 times in my life, lol."

"Little kids like to just touch stuff to learn more about the world around them, but parents need to be constantly paying attention so their kid doesn't accidentally harass someone!"

"A little kid of around that age did this to me at a restaurant once- he walked up to me, rubbed my bare forearm, and then gave me that same mesmerized look and tapped me with his hand a couple times. I didn't think too much of it (was more puzzled/confused than anything), but his mom had to pick him up and apologized anyway. Kids are funny haha."

"Yes this is so adorable. The last time I took a flight with a kid sitting behind me he was kicking my seat for like two hours before I politely turned around and gave a look to his mother and said 'hey my little friend. I know this flight is long and you wanna get out of this seat but do you mind not kicking my seat anymore?' Then I gave him a piece of paper and some (like 5 out of my 50) colored pencils and asked him if he could make me a secret drawing and pass it to me quietly and I’d make him one. I’m an artist and I always carry watercolors and colored pencils and sketch books on flights. We ended up passing drawing back and forth for the rest of the remaining 5 hour flight. He didn’t kick my seat again… I suspect it was the poignant look I gave mom. But so he was engaged. Every 20 minutes or so I’d feel a little tap on my arm and a folded up little drawing would appear. I still have them in the pocket of a moleskin somewhere."

Here's to grownups joyfully embracing the reality of co-existing with small children, in all their curious, sensory-driven, hands-on glory.

This article originally appeared earlier this year.

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