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Wellness

Americans' short-sighted focus on 'personal liberty' ended up limiting another type of freedom

Americans' short-sighted focus on 'personal liberty' ended up limiting another type of freedom

As the U.S. crosses the 300,000 COVID-19 deaths milestone, let's take a step back and look at what got us here.

But first, let's tip our hat to those who aren't where we are—to the countries that took swift, decisive action, got the population on the same page about what needed to be done, and kicked pandemic ass. The countries that not only have a tiny fraction of our death toll, but who also have been able to resume normal life in all its glory.

While mandatory quarantines for travelers and contact tracing systems for any cases that slip through the cracks are still in place, countries like Australia, New Zealand, Vietnam, Thailand, and Taiwan are experiencing a level of collective and individual freedom that America—and much of Europe—simply does not have right now. People are attending concerts, plays, sporting events, weddings, etc. without masks or social distancing. People can hug one another without worrying about killing someone. It's literally like a whole other world.

Sure, some of those countries are islands and they all have smaller populations than we do. But the U.S. is bordered by just two countries. Thailand borders four and Vietnam borders three, including China—and our not controlling the coronavirus spread has nothing to do with people crossing our physical borders. And as far as population goes, our large size accounts for raw numbers, but not deaths proportional to population.

Check out the deaths per million statistics among these countries:

Australia: 35

New Zealand: 5

Vietnam: 0.4

Thailand: 0.9

Taiwan: 0.3

United States: 924

We currently have the 12th highest deaths-per-million rate in the world. So much winning, we're sick of winning, right?

It's been said a million times that it didn't have to be this way, and it didn't. But while our government has been blamed for its abysmal response to the pandemic—and while those criticisms are legitimate—that's not the whole problem. It's nice to think that if we had a president that listened to public health officials and provided coherent guidance, we'd be in better shape, and we probably would be to some degree. But a big part of the problem is the American people ourselves.

I love us, but a huge key to controlling a pandemic is getting a population on the same page and getting people to make personal sacrifices for the greater good. It requires a collective commitment, and I'm just not convinced the U.S. is capable of that without a serious rethinking of what our core national value actually means.

The world knows—because we really, really like to shout it from the rooftops—that the U.S. is all about freedom. It's what we were founded on, what we take pride in, and what we cling to as our highest ideal. And we most often define freedom in terms of personal liberty—the right to live our lives the way we choose.

But in a pandemic, personal liberty can be problematic. I know that's hard for some Americans to hear, but it's true. If we all just do whatever we please, we end up right where we are—with an out of control virus killing a 9/11's worth of Americans every day, ten months in, and the ongoing economic hardship that goes along with a half-assed, incohesive attempt to maybe save businesses or maybe save lives. We've ended up with the worst of both worlds—mass death and economic demise—largely due to Americans' insistence upon personal freedom to the deadly and devastating exclusion of everything else.

Let's be clear about the fact that the federal government has not established any mandates or restrictions that violate American freedoms during the pandemic. Decisions about mitigation measures have been left to the states, which is both good and bad. The United States is huge, and logistically it makes more sense for local conditions to guide local responses. However, our borders between counties and states are imaginary lines with no checkpoints or restrictions for travel, which makes for a lot of holes in our collective pandemic control.

I'm not saying that the government should go all willy-nilly with our freedoms; I'm saying that Americans are short-sighted in our vision of what freedom actually means. Too many Americans have exercised their personal liberty in a way that limits our collective freedom (because it leads to out-of-control viral spread) and also ends up limiting personal liberty anyway (because out-of-control viral spread means having to take measures to keep our healthcare system from getting overwhelmed).

I know some people say "collective freedom" isn't a thing, please see the difference between daily life in the U.S. and daily life in Australia right now. Our Aussie friends are living a far freer life than we are, both individually and collectively, because they chose to sacrifice individually so that the whole society could be free from the virus. That's what collective freedom looks like, and they didn't succumb to tyranny to get it. That could have been us, if we stopped seeing everything that isn't "go ahead and do whatever you want" as tyranny.

In a viral pandemic like this one, doing whatever we want is inconducive to true freedom. We're watching this play out in states that were reticent to implement restrictions until now, as hospitals spill over and mandates become necessary for public safety. People exercising their personal freedoms with no regard for public health guidelines results in out-of-control viral spread, which results in social and economic devastation as huge numbers of people get sick and die.

Exercising personal liberty without personal responsibility in a viral pandemic leads to limited freedom for longer, with a lot more pain and suffering, than using our liberty to do what needs to be done to prevent that.

I can already see people bringing up Benjamin Franklin's quote—"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Some version of it comes up any time the government tries to enact anything Americans view as limiting their freedoms, but there are a couple of problems with bringing it up now. Franklin, as it turns out, was specifically talking about a dispute over taxes to fund securing the frontier, not public health in a pandemic. (And despite what people might assume, his quote was actually pro-taxation.) While that quote pushes all the right "my personal freedom" buttons, I'm quite sure that Ben Franklin would be losing his mind over Americans rejecting public health guidelines in the name of "I do what I want" if he were here today.

As an American, I appreciate our nation's commitment to personal liberty. I really do. But we seem to have forgotten that the founding premise of our republic wasn't just an inalienable right to liberty, but to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." When exercising personal liberty costs another American their life, then our national values are in conflict. "Give me liberty or give me death" is great when we're not in a viral pandemic, but "Give me liberty and I will give you death" is what we're currently experiencing.

Freedom can't be merely seen as an end, but as a means. In the next pandemic, I hope my fellow Americans will use their personal liberty to choose do what needs to be done to help us reach collective and individual freedom, rather than cutting off our nose to spite our face by insisting on a puerile version of freedom that only leads to all of us losing both.

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Democracy

Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s employee. And here's my jaw hitting the ground.

The federal minimum wage is still less than this.

via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

How can anyone get by on this?

I've written extensively about minimum wage, supported by fact-checkers, economists, and scholarly studies. All of them support raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting them off public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it. Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of an hourly wage? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it could be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken systemOne year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

The YouTube channel Just Frugal Me discussed the viral paycheck and noted there's absolutely nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. More than 2 million people in the U.S. alone work for the fast food giant. The worker's paycheck shows they put in 72 hours over the pay period, making $8.75 per hour. Before taxes, that's $631 for the week. Just Frugal Me's breakdown is even more eye-opening, breaking down this person's pay after taxes and weighing across average rent and utility costs. Spoiler Alert: the total costs for basic necessities far outweigh what this person is making even while working 12 hours per day. But they do make too much to qualify for Medicaid, meaning they will have to go out and buy their own health insurance.

mcdonald's, minimum wage, restaurants, fast food, burgers, big macA photo of a McDonald's in Hartford, CT. via Mike Mozart/Flickr

Even in states like California, where the state's $20 minimum wage ensures that people earn nearly three times as much as the federal minimum wage, which remains as low as when this paycheck first made the rounds nearly 10 years ago.

Still, even for a worker that maxed out at 40 hours per week and took zero vacation or sick time, that's only a little over $41,000 per year. That's barely half the median wage in the state of $78,000 and far below a sustainable living wage in cities like Los Angeles.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The U.S. federal minimum wage is just $7.25 and hasn't been raised since 2009. In April 2025, the Raise the Wage Act of 2025 was introduced in the House of Representatives and U.S. Senate. The bill would increase the federal minimum wage to $17 an hour by 2030 and eliminate the subminimum wage for tipped workers and those with disabilities. But supporters should be cautious that it's unlikely to pass the Republican-controlled Congress.

If the Wage Act of 2025 were to pass, over $22 million workers would get a raise, which is 15% of the U.S. workforce. It would raise $70 billion for low-wage Americans, an increase of $3,200 per worker.

“No person working full-time in America should be living in poverty," Virginia Congressman Bobby Scott said in a statement. "The Raise the Wage Act will increase the pay and standard of living for nearly 22 million workers across this country. Raising the minimum wage is good for workers, good for business, and good for the economy. When we put money in the pockets of American workers, they will spend that money in their communities,”

This story originally appeared ten years ago. It has been updated to reflect new information.

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Community

Woman shows off her Costco badge after a 3-month job search and critics quickly get schooled

Apparently some people didn't realize what a win it is to work at Costco.

Photo credit: Canva

Working at Costco is nothing to mock.

As the adage goes, there's an exception to every rule, and the exception to the rule of retail employment being a hellscape of low pay and high turnover is the warehouse giant Costco. It seems not everyone is aware of Costco's reputation as an employer, though, since a woman sharing her triumph at landing a job there was initially met with surprising derision on social media. But the critics were quickly corrected by both Costco employees and people familiar with the company's employment practices, launching a celebration of Costco as a responsible business that takes care of its employees.

A woman named Doreau shared a selfie from her car holding up her Costco employee badge with a caption that read, "After almost 3 months. I'm officially hired." Whether she'd been searching for a job in general for 3 months or had been in the hiring process with Costco for that long isn't clear, but her smile and triumph emoji indicated that she was proud of the accomplishment.

Not everyone was so enthusiastic, though, in what appears to be a misunderstanding by some about what it means to work at Costco. Some commenters mocked the woman, indicating that working at Costco was nothing to boast about, as if it's just another retail job. As one example, someone wrote, "Who tf spends 3 months chasing a job at Costco." But people in the know shut that idea down immediately.

"They must not know that Costco’s employee turnover rate…She hit a lick on that one!!"

"Costco pays their employees INCREDIBLY well and has benefits unlike any other grocer. I’m so happy for her!!!"

"Man i’ve been trying to get a job at costco for sooo long i know somebody who works at the door checking receipts and makes $25/hour"

"The best employee benefits, satisfaction, retention and upwards mobility in American retail. God bless her."

"My guy has been at Costco for 20yrs, makes 6 figures and has almost 1M in his 401k. No stress at work, tons of PTO, and has a wonderful work/life balance. Y'all still struggling with basic life stuff."

"People don’t leave Costco when they find employment there. It’s getting your foot in the door that’s the hard part. Good for her."

Reposts with hundreds of thousands of likes showed that she had every right to be proud of landing that Costco badge, especially in an economy where people seem to be having a hard time finding jobs despite low unemployment rates.

What makes Costco a great place to work?

Of course, you can find people who will complain about any job, but the numbers at Costco speak for themselves. According data cited in the Harvard Business Review, Costco's turnover rate—the percentage of employees that leave—is only 8%, a notably small fraction of the retail industry average rate of 60%.

There's a reason for that extraordinary statistic—several of them, in fact.

Costco prioritizes paying employees well—including good benefits

According to an Ethics Unwrapped case study, Costco pay tends to be around 40% more than Walmart and Target and the company provides more comprehensive health and retirement benefits as well. Part of what enables them to do that is the money they save with their low turnover rate, as it costs a lot to hire and train new employees.

Costco cofounder Jim Sinegal rejected the idea that a company had to either take care of its shareholders or its workers, calling that "a false choice."

"It's really pretty simple. It's good business," Sinegal said in 2009. "When you hire good people, and you provide good jobs and good wages and a career, good things are going to happen."

It truly is that simple. Costco's philosophy hasn't changed since Sinegal's retirement in 2012; it's all about the reciprocal care between employee and employer: "Costco’s success depends on the well-being of employees within all areas of our business. Our operational practices, benefits, and paid time-off policies acknowledge and reward employees for their continued contribution to our culture and success."

According to Investopedia, Costco's average wage is over $30 per hour, around $5.50 per hour higher than the national retail average. Its minimum wage is $19.50/hr.

costco aisle and shelvesCostco is known in the retail world for its excellent pay and benefits.Curlyrnd/Wikimedia Commons

Costco provides lots of opportunity for advancement

Look no further than Costco's new CEO, Ron Vachris, for proof of Costco's internal promotion philosophy. Vachris began as a forklift driver at Costco as a teenager (technically when it was known as Price Club, before it became Costco). Now, at 58, he runs the whole company.

He's an extreme example, but Costco has purposefully opportunity baked into its employment model, encouraging employees "to view Costco as a place for a long-term career rather than just a job." As the company website states:

"When it comes to employee development, our goals are to:

● Provide all employees with training, education and opportunities for career development and advancement.

● Ensure there is fair access and resources to help employees succeed.

● Encourage leaders to continue to teach and mentor employees, so that employees will be prepared for opportunities and greater responsibility.

● Encourage employees to take advantage of opportunities for development and advancement."

From the stories people tell of moving up the ranks in their Costco careers, that's not just lip service.

Costco has a well-earned reputation as an ethical company

Costco is often held up as an ethical example of capitalism in the way it treats the people it employs, serves, and works with. Internally, the company abides by a 4-rule code of ethics, which seems remarkably simple on the surface:

1. Obey the law.

2. Take care of our members.

3. Take care of our employees.

4. Respect our suppliers.

But when you dig into what each of those rules entails in the company's Mission Statement and Code of Ethics, it's easy to see why it works. "At the core of our philosophy as a company is the implicit understanding that all of us, employees and management alike, must conduct ourselves in an honest and ethical manner every day," the document reads. "Dishonest conduct will not be tolerated. To do any less would be unfair to the overwhelming majority of our employees who support and respect Costco’s commitment to ethical business conduct… If you are ever in doubt as to what course of action to take on a business matter that is open to varying ethical interpretations, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT."

Well, that's quite clear. Costco demonstrated its own commitment to its own ethics when it resisted pressure to abandon its DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiatives in late 2024, saying, "Our commitment to an enterprise rooted in respect and inclusion is appropriate and necessary."

Perhaps most importantly, Costco emphasizes that abiding by this code of ethics is what enables shareholders to be rewarded, and at this point, they've proven that to be true. A good business practicing good ethics ultimately leads to good results—it really does seem to be that simple.

This article originally appeared in January

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Art

In 125 years, millions of people have looked at this painting. No one really saw it until recently.

Van Gogh saw something it took scientists another 100 years to see.

Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Van Gogh's Starry Night, 1889.

Vincent van Gogh never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist (even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). Van Gogh died in 1890 at the age of 37 in Auvers-sur-Oise, France after shooting himself in the chest with a revolver. It was a tragic end to a turbulent life marked by mental instability and severe self-doubt.

According to the Van Gogh Museum, in a letter to his brother Theo in 1890, just a couple of weeks before his death, Van Gogh wrote, "...my life, is attacked at the very root, my step also is faltering." The man was struggling and exhausted. The high standards he had set for himself and his art were taking a toll. He was unsure about his future and, up to this point, had not received much recognition for his work and thought himself a failure "as a man and as an artist."

His most well-known work, Starry Night, was famously painted while Van Gogh was staying in an asylum in France 1889 after he mutilated his ear during a psychotic episode. According to the Van Gogh Museum, though, this may not be the full story. While it is widely agreed that Van Gogh did in fact cut off his own ear, the museum notes that it was because of a fight between Van Gogh and Paul Gaugin, the artist he had been working for in Aries, that led to the violent explosion that highlighted his deteriorating mental state.

Vincent Van Gogh, artist, 19th century, famous artist, Starry NightVincent Van Gogh's Self-Portrait, 1889Image via Canva.

As one of the best known and most studied artists of the 19th century, Van Gogh's madness and how it influenced his work is not new information. But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years—revealed in the 2010s thanks to the Hubble Space Telescope.

A video at the bottom of the page will explain everything, but before we get there, let's do some backstory:

We known Van Gogh was an artist—and a genius artist at that—but, it turns out, he was also scientist. Kind of.

Whether intentionally or not, fresh eyes have found that Van Gogh's art—aside from being breathtaking—also captures one of science and nature's most elusive concepts: Turbulence.

The concept of turbulence is hard to understand with math, but it turns out art makes it fairly easy to comprehend through depiction. So, what is turbulence?

According to Britannica, turbulence, or turbulent flow, is a concept of fluid dynamics in which a type of fluid flow (liquid or gas like air or water or air) undergoes an irregular fluctuation or energy cascade. In other words, the air or water swirls and eddies as it moves: big eddies make smaller eddies, and those make even smaller ones, and so on. Common examples of turbulent flow include blood flow in arteries, lava flow, atmosphere and ocean currents, and the flow in boat wakes or surrounding the tips of aircraft wings.

It looks like this:

figures, flow, turbulence, turbulent flow, science, movementTurbulent flow illustrated and animated.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The thing is, scientists only started figuring this out pretty recently.

turbulence, turbulent flow, science, nature, researchAnimation of art referencing science.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

And yet, there was Mr. Vincent van Gogh, 100 years earlier in his asylum with a mutilated ear and able to accurately capture this turbulent flow in what would become his most famous work, Starry Night.

Starry Night, Van Gogh, turbulence, art, art captures scienceAnimated Starry NightAll Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The folks who noticed Van Gogh's ability to capture turbulence checked to see whether other artists did the same. Most of the Impressionists achieved "luminance" with their art—a striking and lifelike depiction of light's effect on color. While impressive, they did not capture or depict turbulence the way Van Gogh did.

The Scream, Edvard Munch, art, popular art, history, painting An animated depiction of The Scream.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

Not even Edvard Munch's The Scream, with it's swirling color and movement, could recreate what Van Gogh had accomplished.

Even in his darkest time, Van Gogh was able to capture—with eerie accuracy—one of nature's most complex and confusing concepts 100 years before scientists had the technology to do so.

Who would have thought that the beauty Van Gogh captured was foreshadowing what scientists would observe in the real, natural world in a century's time? To learn even more, watch the TED-Ed video below:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

This article originally appeared twelve years ago. It has been updated.

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Education

Retired teacher shares the biggest parenting mistake she saw throughout her career

A lot of parents are missing a very important point.

via Canva/Photos

A child who disagrees with her mother.

If an elementary school teacher starts their job right after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll probably teach over 1200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, gives teachers incredible knowledge about what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

parenting, parenting advice, good parentsA father listening to his son.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. So, according to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into being the best version of themselves instead of pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared in January

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Modern Families

Millenials share their boomer parents’ 15 quirky (and frustrating) habits they just don't get

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents who don't like to travel, but say they do.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach.

A Redditor asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating. The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.



Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millenials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."


person using laptop attach to vehicle near green leaf plant during daytime Photo by Brina Blum on Unsplash

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"



3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."


man and woman sitting on blue sofa Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."



6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."


A man in a hard hat inspects an electrical boxman in brown and white plaid dress shirt and yellow hard hat holding black and orange Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."



9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


A man stands over an open hood of a green carman in blue top fixing green car during daytime Photo by Elvis Bekmanis on Unsplash

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."



12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."


Three people with umbrellas walk in the rainselective color photography of three person holding umbrellas under the rain Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

This story originally appeared in January.
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