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10.19.12
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Diane Tirado/Facebook
Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.
If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.
A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.
She got fired for it.
Michael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy
The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."
The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.
Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.
A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook
It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.
"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"
The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:
A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59
Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.
“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.
“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."
Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.
No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.
A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."
However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.
Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.
“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.
This article originally appeared 6 years ago.
Couples, whether married or just longterm partners, really aren't all that original. We all fight over the same things. Chores, money, and sex are pretty much the big three. But Dr. John Gottman, probably the most prominent and influential psychologist in the world of marriage and relationships, says the number one thing couples fight about is actually nothing. That's right, nothing at all!
But how can a couple fight about nothing? The answer: It's super easy. Haven't you ever found yourself locked in a bitter disagreement and suddenly stopped to think, "How the heck did we get here?" Gottman, basically one of the founding fathers of modern couples counseling, writes that something as simple as a disagreement about where to dinner can quickly lead to a conversation full of resentment, insults, miscommunications, and hurt feelings.
Mark Travers, a psychologist and author, recently took this idea a step further and argued that only 10% of arguments in relationships are actually about "the thing." The other 90% are about a deeper, underlying issue. He calls it the 90-10 rule of conflict.
Couples arguments are like icebergs. 90% is below the surface.Canva Photos
He writes in an article for Forbes that "only 10% of fights stem from the immediate problem, while 90% are driven by deeper emotions—unmet needs, past wounds and unspoken fears."
Gottman agrees, commonly saying that "Usually, underneath that fight, is an unfulfilled dream."
It's easy to see how this plays out using common examples.
A couple might fight over a sink of unwashed dishes. Usually, the dishes themselves aren't that big of a deal, but the fight balloons out of control because there are underlying resentments about the division of labor in the household.
A pile of dirty dishes is a fight waiting to happen!Canva Photos
Take the initial example of disagreeing about where to go for dinner. It should be such a simple problem for two adults to solve together! But if you're constantly fighting about it, it could be a sign of a repetitive issue: Maybe one partner never compromises, maybe one is overly thrifty or one is too casual about spending money.
When the underlying issue goes unresolved, the fights come up again and again and again, and can be triggered by the smallest possible catalysts.
Once you understand the 90-10 rule, you can start to see a path to better conflict management, and a much happier romantic life.
Travers urges couples in the midst of a disagreement to, instead of reacting to what was said, to try to uncover the true meaning behind those words. Remember, human beings aren't great at being directly and completely honest. We rarely voice our deepest desires and wants and needs, but they come out in other ways.
Gosling had the right idea.Giphy
The goal should be to reframe minuscule disagreements around the deeper emotion or pattern they represent. Instead of "You didn't do the dishes!" it's "I feel overwhelmed and like we're not a team when I do everything around the house." He also writes that you should try to be genuinely curious about your partner's perspective on the disagreement, and to not react defensively to how they might view it differently.
Being monogamously committed to someone is hard, right? One day you're just doing your thing, and the next you have to use all these new psychological tools and empathy techniques because someone forgot to wash a plate. But not only will the extra effort lead to a better relationship, it could even improve your health. Multiple studies have shown that good conflict resolution skills in a relationship are tied to better longterm health outcomes, including lower stress, which can impact longevity. Arguments happen in any relationship, but the couples who don't let fights about small things escalate into blowouts — and the ones who can still use humor and affection even when disagreeing — are so much better off than the rest.
Gottman's teachings say "Typical conflicts are merely a reminder that a relationship is two different people working together to understand differences and love each other despite flaws," and that arguments, even fights, are an opportunity to deepen communication and ultimately your love for each other. Not a bad way to look at things, right?
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A little effort can go a long way.
Welcoming a newborn into the family is usually a magical occasion. There are pictures to be taken; first moments that must be documented. But for a child, this can be an unsettling experience. One day, it’s just them and their two doting parents. Then, out of nowhere, a tiny baby appears and starts hogging all the attention? How unfair.
Fortunately, there are several strategies parents can use when introducing a toddler to a newborn to minimize feelings of jealousy. In a viral TikTok video, Lucie Fink—a mom of two and host of The Real Stuff podcast—shared how she and her husband successfully introduced their baby girl to Milo, their toddler son, while keeping any potential jealousy at bay. Since it was posted in early February 2025, the video has been met with overwhelming positivity online, garnering 1.6 million likes and over 11 million views.
Upsetting, to say the least. Photo credit: Canva
“As a child development major… YES.”
The video begins with Lucie, still in her hospital gown, welcoming her husband and son into the postpartum unit. “I got a balloon for you!” exclaims her toddler. Using strategically placed overlaid text, she details the 8 techniques she and her husband used while introducing their toddler to his newborn baby sister, including adding photos of him to the baby’s bassinet (to make him feel special and included) and transferring the baby to Milo’s arms calmly and intentionally when he was ready and asked to hold her.
The first step toward a lifelong friendship.TikTok, Credit: @luciebfink
Sibling rivalry isn’t inevitable
While sibling rivalry is normal (according to child specialist Alexander K.D. Leung, it “occurs between most, if not all, siblings to varying degrees” and “is as old as mankind”), unmanaged competitive feelings in childhood can lead to psychological problems later in life. “A child who feels threatened of losing parental affection and love may react with rejection or hate towards a new sibling who is often perceived as an ‘intruder,’” Leung notes in his 1991 research article. “This is more common if the child feels insecure as a result of overprotective, excessive domination, parental impatience, or excessive discipline.”
Sibling rivalry begins here, at the onset. Even parents who handled their first child easily may be surprised by the new, constantly shifting dynamics a second baby can bring. Although you can prepare a child for months, even years, to become an older sibling, until they experience it, they won’t actually know what it feels like. Suddenly, it seems like their emotional and physical needs are in direct competition with the baby’s: Who gets their parents’ attention? Who deserves to be fawned over? These changes are real—and scary!—for a child and can cause them to act out or revert to previously outgrown baby behavior, according to the Association of Child Psychotherapists. They write: “It must be remembered that it is the parents who choose to have another baby, not the older sister or brother. They have no say in the matter, and what is, to you, largely a source of happiness may be nothing of the sort to your child.”
"It is the parents who choose to have another baby, not the older sister or brother."Photo credit: Canva
8 ways to reduce jealousy, according to Lucie Fink
When the child first enters the room, don’t mention the baby. Instead, focus on them. In the video, we see Lucie greet her son Milo solo, with the baby nearby but out of sight. Although he’s excited to meet her, Lucie stays focused on her son, making direct eye contact and creating a special one-on-one moment just for them.
Place the baby off to the side in a bassinet, so your arms are free to cuddle the other child. At first, Milo is focused solely on the baby, but with his mom’s loving invitation, he jumps into the hospital bed next to her. “Get cozy!” she insists, and the two burrow beneath the plush blanket together.
Two children watch another child eating ice creamImage via Cana
Arrange photos of the older child in the baby's bassinet to remind them that they're special and included. "Look, she was looking at pictures of you all day," Lucie says warmly, picking up a photo from the bassinet to show Milo. Several large photos of him are prominently displayed around the baby—a simple yet powerful symbol of their new beginning as siblings.
Transfer the baby calmly and intentionally, waiting for the older child to be ready and to specifically ask to hold them. Don’t rush or force the process. “The preparation of existing children for a new sibling helps to reduce sibling rivalry,” reminds child specialist Alexander K.D. Leung. “Patience, love, understanding, common sense, and humor are important parental skills necessary to minimize sibling rivalry.” Once settled and secure next to his mom, Milo puts out his arms excitedly and asks: “Can I hold?” As his father lowers the baby into his arms, Lucie chimes in with assurance, “Oh, you got her.” Soon, the two are bonding for the first time, and Milo holds his baby sister close.
two children hugImage via Cana
Family hugs signify that you’re a unit. Before long, the dad exclaims, “Family hug!” and the four embrace. Instead of Milo feeling like an outsider, the tender moment reflects a carefully arranged message: “We’re all excited to welcome the fourth member of our family.”
Let the older child hold the newborn at home, but only when they want to. “We try not to pressure him or continually ask if he wants to,” writes Lucie. Finding the perfect balance is key: while it’s important to involve your toddler in baby-related tasks, don’t demand too much of them.
A parent waves their finger at a babyImage via Canva
Don’t blame the baby for not being able to attend to their needs. According to BetterHelp, “When a child feels like they must compete for their parent’s love and attention, this feeling might lead to animosity, which can increase over time.” Especially during this transition time, elder children must be reminded that they’re also a priority. Instead of saying, “I need to take care of the baby” or “The baby needs this right now,” Lucie recommends switching up the responsibility. Try: “Daddy’s just finishing up!” or “Mommy will be right there.
Include them in the caretaking process. Lucie writes that with her son, they tell him that it’s “the whole family’s job to work together to care for our weakest member.” Not only will your toddler love having something to do, but simple tasks—asking them to pass you a bottle during feeding time or to please entertain their younger sibling in the backseat when they're fussy—will give the older child a sense of purpose and help them feel more involved.
Sibling rivalry can't be avoided, but it can be minimized. Photo credit: Canva
Why it’s important to put your toddler first sometimes
While a new baby demands constant attention—and sometimes, your sleep-deprived brain goes on auto-pilot—taking time to acknowledge your toddler’s big feelings is crucial. Even the smallest gesture, like asking for help instead of demanding it, can help build the foundation for a long-lasting, harmonious relationship between siblings. However, if left unaddressed, sibling rivalry can manifest as verbal or physical attacks, persistent demands for attention, or as regressive phenomena” in children. As adults, that behavior can morph into open aggression, cruel manipulation, or avoiding each other altogether.
A study about family dynamics conducted at Cornell University found that after multiple interviews with mothers and their adult children, only 15% of children felt their parents treated them equally compared to their siblings. The research also showed that siblings develop stronger bonds when parents consistently work to treat them fairly and give equal attention to each child.
While parenting often feels unpredictable, Lucie Fink and her husband (along with Milo and the new baby!) demonstrate that small, thoughtful efforts toward your firstborn can make an enormous difference. Watch her entire parenting video below.