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Parenting

People share what it was really like being raised by parents of the 'Greatest Generation'

"Very hardworking. Very stoic."

People share what it was really like being raised by parents of the 'Greatest Generation'
Images via Canva

Every generation is influenced by their parents. From Baby Boomers (who were largely raised by the Silent Generation) to Gen X (the majority of which were raised by Baby Boomers) to Millennials (raised older Gen X and younger Boomers), their parents left an impact that defined each one. For those raised by the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their unique upbringings are filled with experiences that are still cherished generations later.

Over on Reddit in a subforum of people born before 1980, member gameboy90 posed the question: "What was it like having a parent who was part of the Greatest Generation (born 1901-1927)?"

Many people raised with parents (and some grandparents) from the Greatest Generation shared their childhood experiences. These are 15 amazing stories from people raised by parents of the Greatest Generation.

greatest generation, the greatest generation, black and white film, greatest generation gif, classic movies black and white kiss GIF Giphy

"My folks were born in the late teens/mid-twenties. They met and married during WWII. As a kid growing up in the 1970s, I joked that I was the last kid to be raised in the 1950s, because that's the decade where my parents were really adults and absorbed a lot of their ideas. Neither of them liked to talk much about the past, there wasn't any talk of the depression or the war, but I was told how easy I had it on a fairly regular basis. I was taught to be grateful and how lucky I was. They were fairly distant parents -- I was cared for, but not hovered over in any way. I was regularly kicked out of the house to go entertain myself until the streetlights came on." —localgyro

"One of my parents was part of this cohort and the other parent was just a couple of months too young to technically belong to the Greatest Generation. I heard endless stories about what childhood was like during The Great Depression and the notion of not wasting things was pounded into me. I was taught to not trust the stock market and to not count your chickens before they are hatched. Do people even use that expression anymore?! Both of my parents felt it was important to look one's best in public at all times. I remember my mother wore girdles long after it was fashionable to do so and my father wore undershirts in the hottest of weather." —Woodinvillian


great depression, the great depression, great depression gif, 1930s, 1930s gif hey arnold nicksplat GIF Giphy

"My grandparents were greatest generation. Very hardworking. Very stoic. Super secretive. While they weren’t racist, they were prone to using slang like Wop (gpa was Italian) etc. My gma left school in 8th grade to help on the family farm. Gpa made it thru High School and didn’t go to war due to helping the family ice business. Back in the day, they cut ice from the ponds w huge saws and packed it away in sawdust or straw. His brothers went to war though." —apurrfectplace

"I’m not sure you can generalize about a cohort that includes so many millions of people. My parents were born in 24 and 26 and I was born in 52. My father spent WWII In Europe and never would talk much about his experience. My father was a teacher, high school principal and then a college professor. My mother stayed home and raised my brother and I. My parents were hardworking, honest, decent people. They were also progressive, liberal and intellectual and participated in the civil rights marches of the 1960s and later supported my brother and I in our opposition to the Vietnam war." —valisglans

"Both parents were born in the time frame you gave. We are American, and my grandparents were immigrants from Eastern Europe. My father was a WWII infantryman and Purple Heart recipient. He almost never talked about the war, although he did recount his experiences to another family member who was doing a living history project. My Dad apparently lived through some awful times when he served overseas during the war. My mother came from a well to do family, and she never mentioned weathering much hardship during the Great Depression... During these days of Covid-19, I am reminded of my late father’s frugality (which he learned during the Great Depression). I am reminding myself how he never let anything go to waste, and how he would repurpose items around the house, rather than get rid of them if they were at all useful. My parents weren’t hoarders or anything like that (quite the opposite), but they did use items up until they could be used no more. I used to roll my eyes at my dear Dad over that at times, but now of course I see the wisdom in it. My grandparents were all born in the last quarter of the 1800s, and lived through the 1918 pandemic. I wish they were still able to answer my questions about how they survived it, or at least I wish my parents were able to answer my questions regarding my grandparents’ recollections of it." —Hey_Laaady

world war 2, world war II, world war II gif, world war 2 gif, 1940s World War Ii Vintage GIF by US National Archives Giphy

"My parents were born in the teens of 1900's. Both to poor, but educated families. Music, art, that sort of thing, that generally pays poorly in good times. But during the depression? Not much at all. Like others in this thread, we were taught to use up everything, don't waste anything. Food was made into leftovers. Clothing was repaired, and passed down from child to child. If we wanted to get rid of something, give it to someone who could use it. Don't leave the lights on. Don't waste water. We also had a vegetable garden, and we kids helped weed it. We snapped and froze beans from it for the winter. We played outside all day in the summer, and came in for supper. Had to be home when the street lights came on. Dad had war stories about WWII which he told often, but never about fighting, but rather about his commanding officer, or something weird that happened. I'm pretty sure he had PTSD, but you bucked up and got on with life. My parents were both really good people. My mother raised us, and my dad 'brought home the bacon'." —sanna43

"Awesome. They loved each other deeply. They loved their siblings, parents, aunts and uncles who we all regularly visited. Mom and Dad were good parents who provided us with love and a good home. Maddening. They were soooooo much older than my friend's parents, still clung to Depression-era frugality, wanted us kids to be independent but NOT IN TROUBLE." —Sunkitteh

"They were the finest people I've ever met: selfless, loving, devoted to family. There will never be another generation like them." —Offthepoint

love, romance, 1940s, 1940s couple, greatest generation classic film hug GIF Giphy

"Dad worked a blue collar job and mom was a homemaker. There was always dinner at the dining room table every night. My dad made $85 a week and that was enough to keep a roof over our head and our tummies full. Mom (born 1922) stretched the ground round by putting grated potatoes in it. I don't really remember going without very often. I only remember a pair of shoes I really wanted in the early 70's that we couldn't afford...My dad was born in 1921 and was the strong silent type. Never spoke much nor showed much affection but we knew he loved us. They never fought. I never remember them fighting or hearing them yelling at each other. If there was anything they didn't want us to know they would talk to each other in Spanish. They never taught us girls because we 'didn't need to speak it'. I sure wish they had taught us. Back then it was more about assimilation." —AuntChilada

"Since my folks grew up during the depression, the thriftiness they learned was passed on to us kids. Even in the city, we had a vegetable garden in the 1960s, as well as several fruit bearing trees...We were raised with more discipline than some of our classmates, but less than others. We took responsibility for our actions at early ages and were seen as trouble makers because we didn't deny it when caught red handed." —Swiggy1957

"Lots of great war stories. Lots of lies. Lots of racist beliefs (how come people never mention how racist old people can be?). Generous but highly critical. Intelligent and accomplished. High expectations with little guidance or input. Dad was born in 1913." —aiandi

world war 2, world war II, world war II gif, world war 2 gif, war gif Landing World War 2 GIF by US National Archives Giphy

"My dad (born 1905 in Buffalo, NY) and my mom (born 1909 in St. Louis, MO) were both children of Polish immigrant parents. My mom graduated from elementary school, but my dad was pulled out of school during his last half of 8th grade so he could go to work at Kutchens Furniture Co. in St. Louis as a woodworker so he could support the family (his dad had died a year earlier). My mom got a job as a seamstress at a clothing company where she worked until she got married. in 1925 my dad obtained employment at Robertson Aircraft Co. at the airport as a mechanic for the air mail airplanes. He became good friends with Charles Lindbergh when Lindbergh was still an air mail pilot. In 1926 he started building his own airplane in his backyard. In 1929, when the stock marked crashed, his airplane was nearly complete. But he had to put a hold on it in order to work crazy hours at Robertson to continue his employment. He and his mother, brother and sister all lived in one house and they raised chickens, rabbits and a vegetable garden in the back yard. Home brewed beer was made along with a concoction of straight grain alcohol colored with tea that they called 'Old Skunk'. The airplane was flown in 1930 but the depression went on, and on and on. Nothing was thrown away since there was always another use for everything. My mom and dad finally met and got married in 1937. A year later I was born and now there were 6 people living in a small 2 bedroom 1 bath house. In 1941 the United States entered the war. My dad was too young for the first world war and too old for the second world war, so he obtained employment with Curtiss-Wright Aircraft Corp. as a loftsman for the wing of the C-46 'Commando' transport aircraft. He remained at Curtiss-Wright until the end of the war. Once married, my mom became the traditional housewife. During my early years we lived like it was still the depression and it was pounded into me on a daily basis. The only good thing that happened during the war years was dad got extra gas ration stamps because he was working in the defense industry. My mom had a foot operated Singer sewing machine that she used for the rest of her life. My dad didn't buy a powered lawn mower - he made one using the motor from a junked motor scooter he found in the junk yard. At dinner time you ate everything on your plate - period! To this day it has been engrained in me - take what you want, but eat what you take. Yes, the Greatest Generation raised a whole different breed of children. When I was growing up, if I needed a whack on my butt I got a whack on my butt. Maybe two whacks! And my teachers could do it too. If the teachers did that today it would be on the 5 o'clock news." —55pilot

"My parents were born in the 1920's. My father was drafted in 1944. He waited out the war in the Philippines. He didn't say much about it. Only that he saw awful things and war is really, really bad. After the war he worked for USPS and met my mother. They moved to NJ and raised 6 kids on a working class salary. My parents were both strict Catholics. It wasn't a very demonstrative relationship. They put a roof over our heads and fed us so we needed to STFU and clean our rooms. My mother was kinder; my father was distant and withdrawn. There was a huge generation gap. They adored clean-cut American entertainment: broadway musicals, Johnny Mathis, Perry Como, etc. Meanwhile, us 60's and 70's kids were all about Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. It caused tension. Once we became teens, us boys all grew our hair long. The folks HATED it, but they allowed it because we made a big deal over it and it was the trend at the time. My parents never drank and never used foul language. Cursing was forbidden in the house. Even 'damn' was retconned to 'darn'. Period. No exceptions. Discussions about sex (or indulging in any measure of explicit material) was also utterly forbidden." —CitizenTed

johnny mathis, johnny mathis gif, johnny mathis music, greatest generation, music gif johnny mathis GIF by Henry Mancini Giphy

"My father was born in 26. My mother is a bit too young to meet this criteria. But they were both frugal people. My mother was a bit more sympathetic about it. 'Do you need it, or do you just want it?' My father was more dismissive, in a half joking, half mocking manner: 'you need that like you need a hole in the head', 'I wouldn't kick a dead dog for a truckload of (whatever it was I wanted)', alternatively he 'wouldn't sign his name for a boatload'. If I wanted to see a movie or a concert, he 'wouldn't walk from here to the corner (to see them, even) if they paid him.' At least he was amusing. Last week, he told me about something that would 'hare lip Santa Claus', and I still don't know what that means...My father grew up on a farm. As a boy, he plowed with a mule, and used a carved cypress knee to make holes for the seeds. The old plow was still in storage when I was growing up, and was always more fun for me to climb on and play than the old tractors were. My father says that at school, instead of each kid bringing their own lunch, each person would bring something to add to a pot of soup. I don't know if that was everyday, though. My grandmother had a large garden and also did home baking and canning to sell at the farmer's market. The better stuff always got sold. One of my aunts said they never got any cookies that hadn't burnt. 😕 My father served at the tail end of WW2, in the Pacific." —MetalSeagull

"My parents married after the second world war. My mother had been engaged and her fiancé was killed overseas. They were pretty old for their generation to be getting married. Born in 1919 and 1918 they married in 1950. Being good Catholics they then started having babies. My mother lost four of the pregnancies late term and had four babies eventually. I was born when she was 40 and my younger brother when she was 47 because of the pregnancies and recovery from them. My mother became a teacher and my dad was a draftsman. They never had a mortgage, paid cash for their cars and ALWAYS had a ton of tinned food. If I wanted a ham and cheese sandwich my mother would say no because that was two meals. Ham sandwich and a cheese sandwich. I don't think either of them ever missed a day of work for anything less than a heart attack. Seriously. They just got up every morning and did what the rules said they should do. My dad was an enormously talented man with an incredible intellect and my mother was artistic and romantic. I feel that with the war, service and losses they never got the chance to experience self expression like they may have wanted to. Duty to God and family. They both died young at 61 and 67." —Rosiebelleann

Pop Culture

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, here are five ways people across the internet are giving it their all.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This week, we've found a handful of hilarious and heart-warming videos that perfectly capture what it's like to go "all in"—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage and something truly special happens as a result. Here are five of our favorite examples.


1. This "Sports Car" singalong

@_julianabba Replying to @courtney_azbell I’m okay @tate mcrae @t8 hq #tate #tatemcrae #tatemcraetour #sportscar #soclosetowhat #misspossesive #misspossesivetour #tatemcrae1 ♬ original sound - jules

The viral song “Sports Car” by Tate McRae has become an absolute viral hit, and it’s not hard to see why. Not only is the song super catchy, but her performance is show-stopping (you might even say she and her backup dancers go all in). Everyone is singing and dancing along—although this content creator’s rendition of the song might be the most passionate one. He gets a little too caught up, as you’ll see at the end of this video—and, well, his reenactment becomes "show stopping" in a different way. (Don't worry, though, he's totally fine.)

2. A little bit of everything, according to Reddit (but especially personal growth) 

This week, the team at All In asked Reddit users what they go “all in” on in their own lives, and the responses were entertaining and inspiring (and sometimes both). One commenter shared that they go all in on blue cheese dressing when they’re eating buffalo wings (respect), while another shared that they go all in on saving up their retirement (we love to see people reaching for big goals). Turns out you can go “all in” on everything from maintaining a healthy marriage to putting salt on your cucumbers. Our favorite responses, though, were people who went in on personal growth and learning. Click here to see what they had to say (and click here to snag a box of All In bars—for free!).

3. Pursuing a life-long dream 

@kynder.jpg that's my mom! 💙⛸️ #iceskating #followyourdreams #figureskating #lifeover50 ♬ No One - Aly & AJ

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking you’re “too old” to follow your dreams, watch this video, because this midlife mom will prove you wrong. This video shows a woman skating in her first figure skating competition—and she’s about to turn 50. The daughter, who filmed and posted the video to TikTok, says that ice skating has always been her mother’s lifelong dream, and recently she just decided to go for it. The costume, the composition, and the passion are all first-rate, but the best part is that the commenters are going crazy for her, too. One of them wrote, “As a former competitive figure skater, nothing makes me tear up like videos of people getting into skating later in life. The ice was my first love, it was home. Welcome home.”

4. These infectious dance moves

@itz_sokizzy

♬ Some Nights - Fun.

Okay, so unlike the figure skating mom, there’s nothing technically impressive about this woman dancing—as in, she’s not a professional dancer. She doesn’t use choreography or sparkly costumes—but what’s great about these videos is that her passion and enthusiasm just can’t be denied. It’s just her in her bonnet, dancing along to upbeat classics like “Some Nights,” by Fun, and somehow you can’t help but be completely mesmerized—and maybe start dancing along yourself. We watched a bunch of her videos—there are tons, and they’re all equally enthusiastic—and we couldn’t help but laugh and groove right along with her. That’s what’s great about going “all in”—it inspires other people, too.

Song re-enactments...with a surprising guest star 

@animallover.zx123 if you're done with your ex move on#just move on#ex #move on with your life #fyp #fyp #fyp #fyp ♬ Gladdest Done with your ex - GLAD FAMILY

People can sometimes be “extra” when it comes to their pets (like dressing up their dog as a cowboy or a mailman for Halloween). But there’s being “extra” with your pet, and then there’s going “all in,” which this TikTok creator undoubtedly does. King Guinea Adventures (@animallover.zx123) has built a platform on staging re-enactments of popular songs, but with a twist: the star of the show is a guinea pig. These hilarious videos show the guinea pig acting out the lyrics of popular songs such as “Video Games” by Lana Del Ray and “Whiskey Lullaby” by Braid Paisley and Alison Kraus. The literalism of these videos is what makes them actually hilarious, and it shows how much thought the creator put into making them (In “Video Games,” for example, when Lana sings “Swinging in the backyard / pull up in your fast car,” you see a literal toy car appear in the swing next to him. When she gets to the lyric “video games,” you see a Nintendo Switch pop up.) It’s creative, it’s funny, it’s fun—and best of all, this creator takes their love of pop culture (and the love of her pet guinea pig) and truly goes “all in.”

Snag a free (!!) box of All In snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

Images via Canva/Photodjo, Andy Dean Photography

Millennials are frustrated with their Boomers parents about real estate.

Millennials trying to buy homes in today's economy are up against a rock and a hard place. Unlike for their Boomer parents, the dream of buying a home continues to feel further away.

According to the National Association of Realtors (NAR), Millennials "continue to be fenced out of home ownership." The organization reported that in 2024, the average age of first time home ownership rose to 38 years old, up from 35 years-old just the year before. "First-time buyers face high home prices, high mortgage interest rates and limited inventory, making them a decade older with significantly higher incomes than previous generations of buyers," Jessica Lautz, NAR deputy chief economist and vice president of research, said in a November 2024 press release.


Millennials are airing their frustrations amongst each other in the Reddit thread r/Millennials, sharing their stories and experiences with their Boomer parents—with many calling Boomers "out of touch."

@thejennifink

The disconnect with reality is real but I can’t stop bringing it up. #housingmarket #zillow #realestate #boomers #millennials #millennialsoftiktok #home

One Millennial wrote, "This topic is like hitting a dead horse, but I just needed to rant. Back story, I work out at a gym with people who are our parents age, and of the boomer generation. I overheard them saying, 'we bought our first home for $65,000. I’m sure kids these days are only paying $125,000 for that same house'. When they said that, I burst out laughing. How are they so out of touch? It drives me nuts."

Another Millennial replied, "Willful ignorance. Takes four seconds to go on Zillow and find out that’s bullsh*t 😆."

And another shared, "I'm not kidding... when I showed my dad actual data on itemized COL inflation, he said that 'the data just says that but that doesn't mean it's real'.... This is a guy that I would normally consider smart and with it. When it comes to these kinds of topics of societal degradation, he can't accept it. He is willfully ignorant to things being worse now for me than they were for him at my age."

@mel_owens

& invent a time machine. #boomer #homeowner #housingmarket #homebuying #comedy

Others explained how they attempted to explain to their Boomer parents how expensive homes currently are. Another shared, "Last Christmas, the sibs and I collectively managed to remember all the addresses we had lived in in our childhoods and Zillowed all of them to show our parents. All are still standing. All were built in the 70s. All are rural or suburban/small towns. Parents were astounded at what these 50+ year houses are going for today, especially compared to what they paid for them 30-40 years ago."

Millennials added their conversations with parents who got defensive. One wrote, "I legit just had this same conversation! They say 'complain when it’s 14% interest' excuse me, your house was 60k and dad was making 40, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. That fancy 250k house is now like 600k…get a grip, average house is 438k."

Another shared, "My dad still gives me a hard time about renting, constantly tells me how I should invest in a house. I sat him down one day and opened up a mortgage calculator, showed him how with the current interest rates it just wasn't gonna happen- he seemed to get it. For a little bit anyways haha. I saw him last month and he told me again how rent is wasted money yadda yadda."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How Millennials can have conducive home ownership talks with Boomer parents

Millennials can have healthy and productive conversations with their Boomer parents when discussions about buying a home become tense or uncomfortable, Aly Bullock, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with Paired, tells Upworthy.

Here are three things Millennials can say to their parents during these tough talks:

Phrase #1: "I understand that we have different views on this, and that's okay with me."

Bullock explains, "This acknowledges that you understand their POV and you are still willing to stick with your own opinion. It is a very gentle way of setting a boundary and letting them know you are comfortable having different opinions."

Phrase #2: "I would love to hear you out, and my request is that in return you respect my right to make a personal decision even if it does not align with what you've shared."

"Even when their kids are grown, parents still love the chance to influence their children," says Bullock. "This phrase lets your parents know that you would love to hear their opinion, you welcome it, AND reminds them gently that you are grown and they should offer you similar respect."

Phrase #3: "This conversation seems to keep causing tension between us, and I'd rather focus on something we have in common right now. Can we set it aside for a bit?"

According to Bullock, "This acknowledges the tension without placing blame. It gives the adult child an opportunity to stop the conversation before it deteriorates further, while emphasizing the positive pieces of the relationship."

Finally, she notes that it may take placing boundaries around these conversations. "Remember that you don't have to tell your parents everything. Some things are better left unsaid," says Bullock. "The truth is that parents change as they age and may or may not be able to cope well with generational differences or unmet expectations. Try to have compassion for them as you decide which things to keep to yourself in order to protect your own mental health."

Photo Credit: Okley Gibbs

Okley Gibbs sings at a senior living home.

The senior living home where my mom resides is a gift that keeps on giving. Everyone there (like everyone everywhere) has a story to tell and a past to unravel in the most colorful yarn. In their prior lives, they were dancers, lawyers, doctors, and singers. They still are these things—just a bit older.

Sunday karaoke at The Reserve at North Dallas has been a true gem, one to which many of the elderly residents look forward. Upworthy shared the brilliant rendition of Carole Wade's "Landslide," which truly moved many of us to the core.


That same day, I happened to grab a clip of a man named Okley Gibbs (though like Cher or Madonna, he just prefers Okley) singing a spot-on, wild, show-stopping version of David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo."

His significant other, Leslie Wolpa (who is an amazing singer in her own right), cheered him on as he sang the song in perfect pitch, and added some dancing and a jaunty little hat tip.

Upworthy had a chance to hear Okley's story, which is incredibly unique. Having grown up near Omaha, Nebraska, he met Leslie at a weekly talent show at a casino, and they've been a couple for over two decades. Both aspiring musicians, they moved to Dallas, Texas, "where everything is bigger."

But his love of music goes all the way back to age four; he picked up a guitar around six. A turning point, even so early on, was starring as one of Fagin's boys in a musical production of Oliver!—where he particularly loved the song "Where Is Love."

Oliver, musical, music, where is love Oliver asks if he can have some more porridge. Giphy Romulus Films

His inspiration comes from Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Bobby Sherman, and Stevie Ray Vaughan (for guitar). But it's the crooners who really resonate with Okley. His appreciation for their big style naturally morphed (in the late 70s/early 80s) into a passion for Van Halen and Aerosmith. Somehow, the mix of these big personalities with a little rock 'n' roll edge was the perfect space for him.

He had a stint in graduate school in Michigan where he studied applied physics, more specifically satellite observation. But he was preoccupied with music and jokingly says, "Instead of making as much money as I could, I sidelined as a singer."

Now he finds himself enjoying the hustle. "I busk with my guitar along the 75 (near the freeway) corridor in Richardson and downtown Plano," he says. "I'll play until a security guard moves me, but usually they're pretty nice." He often plays in areas near restaurants, hotel entrances, or Walmarts. "Last week, I played at a park which had 300 high school kids and their parents taking pictures," he says.

The wonderful moments—the ones that remind him why he's doing it—are when people listen and encourage him to "play some more!"

Okley and Leslie sing "I'll Be Seeing You" as a duet:

@cdk213

#CapCut

His favorite song to sing with Leslie is the Kenny Rogers duet "Love the World Away," so that will be coming to a karaoke night soon. But their beautiful duet of "I'll Be Seeing You" is a close second.

Jonah Berger explains how appealing to someone's identity makes them more likely to agree to a request.

Human psychology really isn't that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.


One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

Humor

Comedian perfectly explains the two wildly different types of millennials

If you're a Type 1, your best friend is definitely a Type 2.

Photo Credit: Canva

Concert-going or family-having types of millennial.

Comedian Jake Lambert could give a masterclass in generational observation. He nails each one in a way that is eerily spot-on, but also kind and respectful. Never shaming, all in good fun.

In a resurfaced clip from 2024, he posts "A Bit About Millennials" wherein he explains there are two types of millennial. "First of all, you've got your classic 'chaos millennial' and they rent with either their friends or their partner. They will have a proper job, but that is the only one mature thing in their life. And for eight hours a day, five days a week, they're able to convince other people that they're actually a fully-functioning adult."


@jakelambertcomedyfanpage

a bit about millennials #millennials #relatable #friendship #oppositefriend


He then goes on to describe Type 2. "And the other type of millennial went into a completely different direction. They're now married with children. They've got a mortgage. But despite having all that, they still actually feel like a child living in an adult's body. And now both type of millennials are friends. It's just that neither of them can quite understand how the other one is managing to live like that."

He further describes their differences, saying, "Like one of them will talk excitedly about something their children have done. And the other one will talk with even more excitement and enthusiasm about the fact that they're favorite band growing up is now doing a reunion tour."

Now to to be fair, as a Gen X-er, this would describe a lot of us as well. (Many of us are a cool mix between each type.)

generations, millennials, Gen X, adulting, adults A man points out that he is in fact grown. Giphy Grown Man Adult GIF

Though Lambert posted this on multiple platforms, there are over 4000 comments on his TikTok comedy page alone. Some are just proudly relating to the group in which they fit. "Chaos millennials unite!" writes one, garnering nearly 5000 likes and many comments. One TikToker shouts: " YASSSS!!! I'm basically a child in an adult body trying to earn adult money to buy toys for my inner child."

The Type 1 millennials also feel seen. "Did everyone know Aqua is doing a reunion tour?"

It's unclear as to which type this person lands on, but they feel represented nonetheless: "This hit me like an eloquent brick made of reality."

The truth is, according an article posted in The Guardian in 2023, RentCafé's "analysis of census data" shows just over half of millennials own homes. "Their home ownership rates increased dramatically even in expensive metro areas such as New York and Los Angeles."

Speaking of homes, Upworthy's Annie Reneau covered Lambert's hilarious clip, "How Different Generations Arrive at People's Houses."

As for kids, they're giving Gen X (once termed the baby-busters) a run for their money. According to a Pew Research study conducted at the beginning of the pandemic, "Millennials trail previous generations at the same age across three typical measures of family life: living in a family unit, marriage rates and birth rates."

This research adds, "Millennials lag furthest behind in the share living with a spouse and child. Only three-in-ten millennials fell into this category in 2019, compared with 40% of Gen Xers, 46% of Boomers and 70% of Silents (the Silent Generation) when they were the age millennials are now."

In 2025, the plan to have fewer or no kids remains higher for millennials than other generations thus far. Another study concludes, "Those currently in their 30s are having less kids than previous generations." They further note, "These declines in the number of children adults plan to have occurred almost entirely in the last decade."

Having just witnessed the Oasis concert this month, I'd guess most of them were the Type One, "chaos millennial," just looking for their next reunion tour.


Community

A police officer's compassionate act inspired a program to help officers offer a 'hand-up'

Officers get a debit card to help with a person's immediate needs—food, diapers, transportation, replacement of stolen items, and more.

BlueBridge Alliance gives officers the means to provide material help community members on the spot.

We often think of police officers as the people who enforce laws, arrest suspects, and generally deal with the criminal element of society. But many of the people the police come into contact with aren't criminals. Sometimes they're victims. Sometimes they're people in crisis. When officers respond to a service call, they often find people on their worst day during a difficult time.

Ideally, officers are trained to help connect community members with services that can help them, but people often have other needs that are practical, material, and immediate. Financial struggle can compound whatever else is going on, and officers often find themselves either at a loss to help or dipping into their own pockets to meet a small need they know they can do something about.


It was a San Diego police officer's act of compassion—buying a snack for a hungry neighborhood child shortly before being shot and killed in 2011—that inspired Brian Spracklen to ask, "What if every officer had the resources to offer similar kindness in moments of vulnerability?" Four years later in Kennewick, Washington, Police Chief Ken Hohenberg (an old friend of Spracklen's) launched a program with the support of community leaders to provide exactly those resources, funded by donations from the local community.

That initiative had a profound effect on police-community relations in Kennewick. Officers were able to perform random acts of kindness like buying diapers for a struggling mom, replacing a critical tool that had been stolen, or meeting other essential needs to make someone's situation just a little bit easier. Those acts of compassion help foster greater trust with the community, leading to increased cooperation, improved communication, and enhanced public safety.

The success of that pilot program spread. Today, Spracklen and Hohenberg run BlueBridge Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that currently partners with 58 police departments across Washington state.

BlueBridge's goals are simple:

  1. To relieve suffering by providing immediate, on-the-spot, short-term assistance to those in urgent need.
  2. To strengthen (and where necessary, restore) mutual trust and respect between the police and the members of the community they serve.
  3. To boost police morale and renew officers’ service ethos, leading to improved recruitment and retention.
The way it works is simple as well. Each officer is provided a debit card with a certain amount of funds (say, $100 a month) that they can use at their discretion as they see needs arise in their daily work in the community. The continual flow of funds is raised locally, giving the whole community an opportunity help out their neighbors when they need a "hand-up." On-the-spot aid may sometimes be a band-aid for a bigger issue, but as we all know, a band-aid is a big relief when you really need one
Though some people believe that it's not a police officer's job to buy someone a bus ticket or groceries to get them through the week, the reality is that the police are often right there on the ground, face-to-face with people in need. Giving officers a way to "serve and protect" in material ways is an efficient method of meeting people's immediate needs, not to mention a means for one human to help another.
"It might be surprising for many people to know that most police aren’t out to 'bust' people for doing things," Spracklen tells Upworthy. "They typically get into their profession because they want to help people out. And, most people they have contact with are good people having a bad day or experiencing a rough spot. Our program provides them a tool that can help 'bridge' a gap between what’s needed right now and connecting them with resources that can help them longer-term. This builds trust, improves public safety, and saves money in criminal justice costs to the public."
Here's one example of the initiative in action shared by an officer in Pullman, Washington:

"I came in contact with a military veteran approximately 80 years old, who was seeking help due to the heat in his apartment not working. The male had made a complaint to the property management and had a work order to be created for the repair of the heat in his apartment unit, though it had not been completed before the weekend. The male had attempted to call the afterhours number for the property and called the Community Action Center, who oversees the apartments he lives in. The male told me he was cold, and did not have the funds to purchase a heater while he waited for the property management to fix his. The male told he had metal plates in his leg due to being in the military and was struggling in the cold. At the time of contact with the male, it was approximately 40 degrees outside with a cold breeze. The male had two more days until it was business hours again to attempt to reach management about the heat again. I attempted to call them myself and was unable to speak with anyone. I then decided to purchase the male a space heater for his apartment until his heating could be fixed. The male was surprised when I arrived with a heater in hand but immediately thanked me for getting one. It was not his fault the management did not fix the heater before ending their workweek, and it felt good to help someone make it through the weekend without being cold." - Officer A. St. Andre

Naturally, there are questions about accountability. When officers use the card, they upload their receipts to the BlueBridge system and fill out a report, which provides information about how the funds were used as well as demographic data that helps inform the program. There's also a way to anonymously report a misuse of funds through the BlueBridge website.
The heart of the program is compassion, but hard data plays a big role in the program's success. Spracklen says BlueBridge Alliance was founded almost like a tech startup. "We are always looking at metrics, and learning and improving from them—it’s a never-ending cycle," he says, adding that there are unique challenges to getting non-profit efforts off the ground compared to for-profit companies: "There’s a fundraising paradox for nonprofits: The smaller you are, the more expensive it is to obtain funds that are desperately needed. And, you can’t afford to fundraise much when you’re trying to spend people’s donations to achieve your organization's goals for doing good."
It costs around $5,000 to get a new community set up with the program. Though BlueBridge Alliance is currently only partnering with precincts in Washington state, there are expansion plans in the pipeline.
"We have over 100 law enforcement agencies across the country on our expansion list who are clamoring for a program," says Spracklen. "We’re trying to obtain the funding to get them started up. We found that once started, communities overwhelmingly support their local programs through donations, but it’s the initial hard costs of getting the program started that’s a challenge."
People can donate to the general BlueBridge Alliance mission here, and Washington residents can search for their local departments' funds here.