People share the most beautiful thing someone’s done for them and it’s a balm for the soul

From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to loved ones stepping up for one another, this is the best of humanity in action.

two people holding hands
We all can use reminders of the good in people.Photo credit: Photo by Anna Tarazevich/YouTube, Screenshot comments from Upworthy/Instagram

News headlines have always skewed negative—”If it bleeds, it leads” is a saying for a reason—but combine the news with a contentious election year and the polarization we so often find on social media and the world can feel rather disheartening.

What we focus on is what we see, however, and if we want to see the good in the world, that’s what we have to look at. Part of our mission here at Upworthy is to demonstrate that people are a force for good, and nowhere is that clearer than in the stories our audience shares with us.

We asked our readers, “What’s the most beautiful thing someone has done for you?” and the responses are a needed reminder of what’s wonderful about people. From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to family and community stepping up in the most inspiring ways, here are some examples of humans choosing kindness, thoughtfulness and selflessness to make one another’s lives a little better.


“My very attentive GYN doctor kept me much longer at an appointment than it should’ve been. She did not want me to leave the room, being I expressed the verbal and manipulative abuse I was getting from my husband. She gave me a counseling session that I have no words to describe how it helped me.”

“When I was going through cancer treatment, and too sick and tired from the chemotherapy to leave the house or be on my feet for very long, my boyfriend (now husband) would take me out and drive all day through various scenic places just so I could see things, feel the wind and smell the air with the windows down. It pulled me out of a very dark hole a few times and gave me the will to keep going!”

“My best friend took me in when my life was falling apart and encouraged me every day that I would survive. She fed me when I was too depressed to eat, she let me bring my cat ( and she was not a cat person) because she knew I needed him for comfort. My husband had cheated on me , my mom was dying and I made it through several months with her until I finally found the courage to stand up on my own again because of her constant faith in me . Her acts of kindness , compassion and love were gestures of beauty from her heart to mine ❤️”

“As a poor college student majoring in music, I sold my piano to pay tuition. My brother bought it back and gave it to me for Christmas that year. My daughter has that piano now.”“My 12 step sponsor. We had never met the day I asked her to sponsor me. We met at her house every Monday for 15 months. She brought me through the 12 steps and helped me learn to love myself, to forgive others, to make amends for my harms done and to be in service. I’m 7 yrs sober and happier than I ever imagined I could be. ❤️” “I once saw a man who looked exactly like my ex partner who’d passed away. It was shocking but also felt so surreal like he was standing in front of me again. I was crying so much but I asked that random stranger for a hug after explaining why. We stood hugging for a long time. It felt like the hug I never got to have. It was so kind of him. ”

“When I had cancer, a lot of friends got together, unbeknownst to me, and folded 1,000 paper cranes. They signed and put kind words side them. Then they gave them to me at a party. I was blown away. They are now hanging in my house as art.”

“Mentor me! I grew up in poverty in an unsavory environment. Throughout my life I was presented with wonderful mentors, in addition to the wonderful mother I have present in my life , who pushed me be the best version of myself in the world so that I didn’t have to be a statistic of my environment. Here I am, a happy and thriving man in life because of that attention.”

“Probably the elderly couple who took me in as a grandkid adoptee when I was experiencing a lot of chaos and neglect in my family. I spent weeks at their house during the Summer for years and years, starting around age 4. They cooked me good food and sewed me clothes. They had professional photos taken of me for their mantelpiece. I thought they were my actual Grandparents.”

“After deciding to leave an abusive marriage with my two small children in tow (ages 2 and 5), my best friend and some of her friends that I did not know packed my apartment, moved all our stuff, AND UNPACKED IT! We got to our new place and it looked like home. I will never forget this act of kindness. It was 18 years ago.”

“I had just had my son and had a tough day. My coworker and friend who lived over 4.5 hours away was on the phone with me and could hear I was struggling. This beautiful human offered to drive down here, through LA traffic,to help over the weekend so that I could take care of me. I didn’t take her up on it, but that sheer act of kindness has stuck with me and I tell the story often. My son will be 15 and in high school in a few months and the thought of her complete selfless offer still brings me to tears.”

“I had a panic attack outside a shopping centre, and 2 teenage girls saw me upset, came over and offered to get me water and gave me a big hug. Changed my day completely.”

“My husband, who stayed by my side through my sickness. He put aside his desire to become a father, because he chose *me* as a partner above all. Throughout my endometriosis journey, 3 surgeries, and the 5 IVFs we had he stood by my side and supported me. We were blessed enough to become parents after all, after 7 rough years, but he would have stayed with me even if that hadn’t happened. ❤️”

“When my 7-year old niece was dying, I was in charge of arranging my other siblings’ travel so we could all be with my niece (and my sister, her mom) to say goodbye. I was pregnant, distraught, and barely functioning. Any other time, searching up airfare and making travel arrangements would have been a snap, which is why I was assigned the job. My neighbor stopped by and found me sobbing on the floor. She calmly took over — called my all my family members, none of whom she knew, and arranged travel for strangers while I returned to the hospital. It seems small but when someone does a task for you when you are most in need, it’s gigantic. I will never forget the relief she brought me, and the time she gave me with my niece. Her kindness is inextricably linked to my grief, a bright light in all that darkness.”

“My SIL made a freezer full of meals (maybe 25+ meals, desserts and snacks) for me when I was pregnant with my second. I didn’t have to cook for probably 2 months after we brought our baby girl home “

“Snuck my puppy into the hospital to visit me. Like she went full on incognito mode and put my puppy in a crate, covered it with a blanket and wheeled him in my room. The nurses considered it good medicine and looked the other way. It was in fact good medicine. I was in that bed for 3 weeks. It was and still is one of the most beautiful and special things anyone has ever done for me.”

“My disabled son swims in the pool at the gym with a personal trainer. We pay ahead of time for half hour units. But for some reason his month is already paid for. Every month. I don’t know who does this but I’m so grateful.”

“I was struggling with depression and basic functioning during my divorce.. finances were unbelievably tight..my kids & I took a train to visit my parents and left house keys with a friend so they could feed cats. When we returned, our house was stocked with food in pantry and fridge, even frozen meals to thaw..pads and tampons in the bathroom.. and a new oven. We had been cooking out of a toaster oven for a year because ours was broken & old and I couldn’t afford a replacement. “

“When I left my abuser I had a four year old and a four month old. We left with two backpacks and a handful of special items. I was so terrified to start over. A friend of mine posted on Facebook asking for resources to help me furnish my new condo and the post blew up. Strangers from all over my city came and brought blankets, dishes, furniture and a beautiful crib for my daughter. There was not a single item that I needed to purchase on my own. All I could do is cry and thank them all for their kindness. I had nothing to give in return except sheer gratitude. Some drove to me to drop off items and share their stories of survival with me. I remember feeling so awful when I left, doubting if I could stay gone and if I’d be able rebuild my life, but I did. Those people helped me to stand on my feet and gave me hope to help me find my voice again.”

“I was bartending at a hotel in Bloomington Indiana where I went to College. I kept myself busy during the slow daytime hours, rug hooking, crafting a gift for my mother. A stranger traveling through town for business (Otis Elevators) sat at the bar for a beer after lunch. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was making a rug for my mother. Because my family is in St. Louis. He asked why I was still here since school was out. I told him I needed to make money so I stayed at this job. He asked if I go home often I said, not enough. It’s too expensive. We chatted for a while and I remember he was kind and ‘fatherly’ – not at all like the other men who had other things in mind.

The next evening when I came to work there was an envelope with my first name on it. Inside was a one-way ticket to St. Louis and a note that said, “go home and see your mom. “ I will never ever forget that man and how he made me feel. And yes, I went home for an extra hug from my mom. ❤️”

“When I was a kid in 9th grade, my teacher believed me when I told her I was being abused at home. She was the first adult to ever show concern. I think about Ms. Oliver every day. I just needed one person to help me.”

“I live in Sacramento and l many years ago I had my purse stolen which is completely devastating. This was before cell phones and the phone book with all of my friends numbers were in it. A few months after it happened a package came in the mail, the return address was just a general San Francisco Post Office address. Inside the package was a number of things from my purse including my driver’s license, my phone book, and some other things (some that weren’t mine). There was a note inside with some misspellings and grammar errors, that said something along the lines of, I was hitchhiking and found some things on the side of the highway that looked like they were important, so I scrounged some money to send them to you. I think there was a signature, but there wasn’t an address for me to send a thank you. This was a true act of selfless kindness, and I still appreciate it to this day.”

“I have a facial deformity and I was bullied through elementary and high school and a bit in college. People stare at me, even today, rather than speaking to me as if I am a human being. This history has given me extremely low self esteem. I am 60 years old, but, for this reason, I don’t leave my house unless I absolutely have to (I am fortunate enough to work from home). One day, I was walking through Walmart, looking down, as I usually do, because I don’t like people staring at me, and a man, who must have sensed my unease, walked up to me and told me I was beautiful and to hold my head up and walk proud. It brought tears to my eyes and this random man hugged me – like a ‘real’ strong hug that a person who cares would give. It made my MONTH! I have no idea who he was, but I will love him forever. You always remember the way people make you feel.”If you loved these stories and want to read more like it, our book, “GOOD PEOPLE: Stories from the Best of Humanity” is available for pre-order now. Find it here.

  • A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here’s why.
    When did everyone stop wearing hats?Photo credit: via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube
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    A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here’s why.

    Old footage from the ’50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

    It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

    The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

    Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

     

    Why did people stop wearing hats?

    Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

    Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s
    Don Draper from AMC’s Image via

    Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

    Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

    Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's

    John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

    The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

    Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

     

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Man who raised and released an orphaned otter films her swimming to his kayak for cuddles
    Leya comes up to Mats Janzon on his kayak for cuddles. Photo credit: Courtesy of Mats Janzon /TikTok

    When Mats Janzon found Leya, she was just a tiny baby curled up alone in the grass near his home in Sweden. Janzon was out on a quiet walk in the woods when he heard a soft peeping sound and saw it was a baby otter. He kept his distance for several hours, hoping her mother would return. When no one came, he searched the area and found that her mother had been killed on a major road nearby. Leya appeared to be starving and barely breathing, and he knew she wouldn’t make it without help.

    Janzon had volunteered with animal rescues while working as a pilot in Cyprus, but after moving back to Sweden several years ago, he felt a pull to leave his job and spend more time in nature. “This shift led me to focus on helping wildlife,” Janzon tells Upworthy. “I’ve cared for various animals, mostly birds, that seemed to find me. Huginn, a crow I rescued, stayed with me for three years before he was ready to join his own flock in the wild.”

    However, Janzon had never raised an otter before and didn’t know what to do. He was scared, as Leya needed care around the clock, but she began to thrive and quickly bonded with him. She would cry when he left the room and curl up in his lap to feel safe.

    “The first time she let me pet her, I remember thinking this can’t be real,” Janzon told the TikTok account SoulPaws Tails. “It felt like a dream, this wild, free otter choosing to trust me.”

    Still, Janzon kept second-guessing himself, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Otters are wild animals, and he knew Leya couldn’t stay indoors forever. So, starting with a plastic kiddie pool in the backyard, Janzon helped Leya learn to swim. She was awkward in the water at first, but little by little, day by day, she grew more confident.

    @matsjanzon

    Two years ago, our sweet otter pup Leya took her very first splash in a cozy baby pool, a moment that still melts our hearts! At just a few weeks old, tiny Leya was all curiosity and wobbly paws as she explored the shallow water filled with colorful floating toys. ?✨ Her first cautious pats at the surface turned into excited splashes as she chased the toys. Watching her dive and twirl, already showing off her natural otter grace, was pure magic. Now, at 2 years old, Leya’s likely out in the wild, thriving and possibly finding a safe territory for her own pups. ? We’re so proud of the strong, playful otter she’s become, and we’ll always cherish those early days of her splashing adventures in that little pool. ? Here’s to Leya, ruling the rivers and raising her own little swimmers! ?? #Throwback #FirstSwim #OtterMemories #WildAndFree #fyp #foryourpage

    ♬ The Moment of Love – Seok Jeong Ran

    Leya followed Janzon everywhere. Soon she became part of the family, which included another rescued crow and a cat. The animals would play hide and seek, chasing one another around the bushes. Janzon says it was like something out of a children’s storybook.

    Once Leya was totally comfortable in the water, he took her down to the lake. She looked up at Janzon as if to ask, “What now?” He nodded at her, and she jumped into the water. He realized that in some way he’d become a father to her.

    “I named Leya while sitting with her on my lap, gazing out over the lake in a near-meditative state,” Janzon tells Upworthy. “I quietly asked her, ‘Who are you? What should I call you?’ The name Leya popped into my mind, and when I said it aloud, she instantly looked up at me. That’s when I knew it was the name meant for her.”

    But as Leya grew, so did her wild instincts. She began to wander farther and stay out longer, and Janzon knew it was time to let her go. He describes it as “a strange kind of love—part pride, part heartbreak” but she started living the life she was meant to live.

    @soulpaws_tails

    This Otter Hope Into My Kayak Every Morning Just To Say “Hello”. Beautiful And Heartwarming Story of Leya The Otter #animals #animalsoftiktok #tiktok #otter #tiktok

    ♬ original sound – SoulPaws Tails

    “Leya is an old soul, brimming with energy and positivity, always finding opportunities in everything,” Janzon says. “Nothing seems impossible for her. She’s been a true inspiration and a dear friend during my transition from a conventional career to a life focused on something greater, not just working to pay bills, but making a difference by helping all living beings in our community.”

    At some point, Leya started staying away for days at a time. But even then, when Janzon was out for a morning kayak ride on the lake, he’d see her nose pop out of the water and start moving towards him. Leya knew he was there and would swim up and climb into the kayak for cuddles and a ride.

    Sometimes she’d even bring a snack with her:

    And sometimes she’d return after nearly a week away for a little snuggle time:

    People love seeing Leya’s bond with her human and Janzon’s peaceful videos that seem like something out of a dream:

    “Sorry, which fantasy world is this and can I have the Google maps link to get there?”

    “I wish the world could be like this.”

    “She’s your significant otter.

    “You are so lucky to be friends with a cute otter who also gets to live her own life. She chooses to be with you.

    “She’s just living her best life and I think you are too – good luck to you and enjoy it.

    otter, leya the otter, otter rescue, mats janzon, tame otter
    Leya and Mats hanging out in his kayak. Courtesy of Mats Janzon

    Mats says Leya is officially living her wild life now.

    “I last saw Leya at the end of May,” Janzon tells Upworthy. “Initially, we thought she’d find her own territory before winter, but after several long trips, she chose to stay under the house while the lake was frozen. When spring arrived, she resumed her search, staying away for up to 10 days before returning for brief visits, lasting a few hours to a day. Her last visit was unusually long, over a week. I suspect she may have been pregnant, eating heartily to prepare for a longer stay in a new territory farther away.”

    Janzon wants people to know that as much as he loves Leya, she’s not a pet. “When an animal trusts you, it creates a bond deeper than words can explain,” he told SoulPaws Tails. “If you’re thinking of adopting or rescuing an animal, especially a wild one, please do it with your whole heart and full responsibility. Do your homework, talk to professionals, ask questions, learn everything you can about animals like Leya. They aren’t pets. They’re living, feeling souls that deserve to be loved and respected for who they are.”

    You can follow Mats Janzon and see more videos of Leya on TikTok.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Chinese teacher shares 18 American names with delightfully awkward meanings in Mandarin
    Some American names sound really funny to Mandarin speakers.Photo credit: Canva

    When you see a list of the year’s most popular baby names, what you’re really looking at are the most common baby names in a specific country or culture. If you live in the U.S., you likely know a whole lot of kids named Olivia, Emma, Liam, and Noah, but if you live in Thailand or Kyrgyzstan or Botswana, you probably don’t.

    Simply saying common names in different countries can sometimes result in hilarity. A name that sounds beautiful and has a lovely meaning in one language might sound odd and mean something very different in another. For instance, Odd is a common name in Norway, but it sounds…well, odd to and English ear. The former president of Vietnam had the last name Phuc, which surely led to some awkward moments for Americans who had to address “President Phuc.” (The “u” is pronounced more like the “oo” sound, but if you’d never heard it said, you wouldn’t know.)

    Chinese language and culture instructor Dr. Candise Lin is sharing American names that sound funny to Mandarin speakers because of what they mean when pronounced with Chinese phonetics, and it’s a hoot.

     

     

    1. Robin (pronounced Luo ben) = Running Naked

    2. Robinson (pronounced Luo ben shen) = God of Running Naked

    3. Nelson (pronounced Niao shen) = God of Pee

    4. Benson (pronounced Ben shen) = God of Dumb

    5. Mason (pronounced Mei shen) = God of Beauty

    6. Nicholas (pronounced Ni kou si le) = You Are So Stingy

    nicholas cage, names, surprised, language, translations
    Surprised Nicolas Cage GIF Giphy

    7. Isabella (pronounced Yi sheng bei la) = The Doctor Got Arrested

    8. Dylan (pronounced Di neng) = Low IQ

    9. Nancy (pronounced Nan si) = Difficult to Die

    10. Robert (pronounced Luo bo) = Carrot

    11. Ashley (pronounced Ao si ni) = Wear You Down to Death

    12. Logan (pronounced Nao geng) = Brain Stroke

    13. Tiffany (pronounced Ti fa ni) = Kick Your Ass

    tiffany, names, translations, chinese, mandarin

    Tiffany Darwish GIF by New Kids On The Block Giphy

    14. Martha (pronounced Ma hua) = Fried Dough Twist

    15. Jeff (pronounced Jie fu) = Brother-in-law

    16. Daniel (pronounced Da niu) = Big Shot

    17. Gordon (pronounced Gou dan) = Dog Balls

    18. Melanie (pronounce Mei ren li) = Nobody Cares

    A few of these names actually seem pretty rockstar in Mandarin. Mason as “God of Beauty’? Nothing wrong with that. Nancy being “Difficult to Die?” Heck yeah. But some are particularly unfortunate. God of Pee? Yeesh. Low IQ? Ouch.

    Of course, the names in Chinese are based on transliterations that aren’t exact. English and Mandarin have different sounds, so many of them are just the closest approximations that there are in terms of pronunciation. (But then along comes Tiffany, kicking ass as clear as day.)

    chinese characters, china, mandarin, language, english

    Chinese characters aren’t phonetic in the way that English letters are. Photo credit: Canva

    Naturally, people who have some beef with people who bear some of these names are having a heyday, with comments like “Ashley actually makes a lot of sense,” or “Not Gordon Ramsay actually being called Dog Ballz Ramsay.” But mostly people are just delighted to see how names they see as totally “normal” mean hilarious things in Chinese.

    As one person wrote, “This was awesome and about time! Chinese names get a lot of humor attention in English circles. It’s nice to know English names can also be a bit ridiculous in Chinese.” It’s likely that many of us have never thought about how American names might sound in other countries.

    But names not translating well is truly a universal phenomenon, and as long as we’re all laughing about it together, finding the funny when things—even our names—get lost in translation can be a fun way to connect across cultures.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • ‘Are you serious?’ Man tries on women’s jeans to see if the pockets are ‘really that bad’
    Men's jeans and women's jeans have very different pockets. Photo credit: Canva

    It’s hard to say what makes every woman happy or what every woman wants, and as a woman myself, I’m not a fan of sweeping generalizations based on gender. However, there are certain elements of walking through the world as a woman that are fairly universal, which makes me feel confident in saying this:

    If you ever want to see pure, spontaneous joy, watch a woman put on a dress and suddenly realize it has pockets!

    fashion, clothing, women, pockets, dress with pockets
    Happy Fashion GIF by Rosanna Pansino Giphy

    Women’s clothes are notorious for having either no pockets (most dresses) or pockets that are barely usable (most jeans and dress pants). And this isn’t just a perception—a 2018 study by The Pudding found that, on average, the front pockets on women’s jeans are 48% shorter and 6.5% narrower than they are on men’s jeans. I have pants in my wardrobe that look like they have both front and back pockets, but they don’t; where the pocket opening would be is sewn shut. Faux pockets may sound dumb—because they are—but they’re not uncommon. And some pockets are so small you can’t even fit a ChapStick into them.

    To test whether women’s pockets really are as bad as they (we) say they are, popular vlogger Nick Wilkins tried on a pair of women’s jeans. The fit was great and they looked fine. But the moment he held up the items he usually puts in his own pockets, women collectively let out a loud “HA!” Sure enough, when he tried to put his phone and wallet in the pockets, his reaction reflected what women have said countless times ourselves: “Are you serious? That’s all it does?”

    Yep, that’s really all they do, and yes, they really are that bad.

    “Now I know why you guys wear purses,” Wilkins said before having an epiphany. “You guys don’t have pockets with dresses, too!”

    Exactly. Hence the “It has pockets!” elation described above.

    “Um, people who make women pants,” Wilkins said, “let’s start putting some depth in there, why don’t we.”

    Seriously, though, why don’t we? What’s up with women’s clothing and the dearth of pockets?

    As it turns out, the history of women’s clothing and pockets goes way back, and, of course, there have been various trends and shifts over time. Some people have posited that companies don’t put usable pockets into women’s clothing so that they can sell more purses and handbags. However, according to a deep dive in FASHION Magazine, that’s not quite the whole story. Believe it or not, we’re still living with leftover, outdated notions of men being active and women being passive, with men’s clothing needing to be functional and women’s clothing desiring form over function.

    “Essentially: Men are required to act and therefore need practical clothing,” writes Annika Lautens. Women are expected to simply appear and be watched—their beauty prioritized above all else. And these outdated gender ideals are still being sewn directly into our clothing.”

    The irony, of course, is that women tend to carry more things than men. Sure, sometimes that necessitates a purse, but sometimes you don’t want to carry something extra. Pockets are nice. They’re convenient, helpful, and functional. We want them. We need them. What in the name of patriarchy is the problem here?

    It can’t be that hard to make normal pants for women with decent pockets. Jeans with decent pockets. Dress pants with decent pockets. And yes, dresses with pockets, too. We are seeing more independent and female-led clothing makers providing pockets, and clearly the awareness about it is finally kicking in pretty universally. But as most women can attest, it remains an issue.

    Maybe women would simply be too powerful if we all had pockets. Maybe this will be our ultimate last stand. Pockets or bust, ladies. Pockets or bust.

    This article originally appeared [time-difference] ago. It has been updated.

  • Millennial history teacher explains the 3 phases of Gen X and why they were ‘forgotten’
    A cassette tape from the '80s.Photo credit: via Canva/Photos

    Generation X occupies an interesting time in history, for those who care to recognize that they actually exist. They were born between 1965 and 1980 and came into this world at an interesting inflection point: women were becoming a larger part of the workplace and divorce was at the highest point in history. This left Gen X to be the least parented generation in recent history.

    Gen X was overlooked in their domestic lives and culturally were overshadowed by Baby Boomers with their overpowering nostalgia for Woodstock, The Beatles, and every cultural moment celebrated in Forest Gump. Once Boomer navel-gazing nostalgia began to wane, a much larger and over-parented generation, the Millennials, came on the scene.

    “Whereas Boomers were the ‘me generation’ and millennials were the ‘me me me generation,’ Gen X has become the ‘meh’ generation,” Emily Stewart writes at Business Insider. But even if Gen X is a little aloof, that doesn’t mean they aren’t totally rad, awesome, trippindicular, and that it’d be bogus to define them any other way. To explain the unique history of Gen X and why they’re often overlooked, history teacher Lauren Cella created a timeline on TikTok to explain them to her Gen Z students.

    @laurencella92

    A love letter to Gen X from your millennial cousin? Gen X didn’t start the fire, so after this I will just leave them alone because they do not care ? But seriously for a generation that sometimes gets “forgotten” and stuck between the larger boomer or millennial cohorts, the genres they created paved the way for pop culture as we know it. I’m still not sure who let kids watch “The Day After” on TV or play on those hot metal playgrounds, but Gen X survived to tell the tale. Today, the so called “latchkey” kids, born 1965-1980 are actually super involved as parents, aunts, uncles, teachers (or maybe even grandparents)?. Kids today want to say they are “built different” but I think Gen X is the one holding down that title because they grew up tough, they saw too much, they made it out, and they know exactly who they are and wouldn’t have it any other way.✌️ g#genx

    ♬ original sound – laurencella

    In Cella’s video, she divides Gen X into three distinct phases.

    Phase 1: 1970s stagflation and changing families

    “Gas shortages meant stagflation. So parents either both had to work or maybe they were divorced. So that meant microwave TV dinners and kids that sort of raised themselves,” Cella explains. “There was no parenting blogs, there was no after-school travel sports, emailing. Like, none of that existed. Bored? Go outside.”

     

     

    Phase 2: The neon ‘80s

    “But then came the 1980s, where everything was big and loud. The hair, the bangs, the Reaganomics, mass consumerism (because now we can trade with China). The whole media just exploded,” Cella says. “But now we have TV, we have movies, we have TV, movies, home movies, TV movies, favorite TV movies, music, music, Videos, music, video, television. All these different genres and all these different cliques and all these different ways that you can express yourself.”

     

     

    Phase 3: 1990s post-Cold War Skepticism

    “Gen X sort of comes into the 1990s more sarcastic and skeptical,” Cella continues. “The Cold War ending meant that they rejected the excess of the eighties. And there’s the shift. Grunge, indie, alternative, flannels, Docs [Doc Martins]. At this point, the technology is also exploding, but not like fun home media, but like corporate media. So there’s this resistance to sell-out culture.”

     

     

    Cella has a theory on why Gen X seems forgotten, and it’s not just because CBS News famously denied its existence. She believes that it comes down to Gen X’s inability to call attention to itself. “So Gen X is a bridge between these two larger, more storied generations. So it’s not necessarily that they get forgotten. They don’t really want the attention. They’re kind of fine to just like, fly under the radar like they always have, because honestly, it’s whatever.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Adults who lived through the 90s share 15 things we all misremember about the decade
    It wasn't all a grunge-filled barrel of laughs. Photo credit: The Everett Collection

    The ‘90s are often depicted as a golden age. A time of less violence, more money, better music, equal rights, unprecedented technological progress, and Beanie Babies instead of Labubus. A time of peace throughout the land.

    However, take a quick romp through actual history and we see that when we take the rose-colored glasses off, the ’90s weren’t without its less-that-stellar moments. Furthermore, there was a lot more nuance to it than teens wearing a bunch of flannel and listening to grunge music.

    Across several Reddit threads, people who actually lived through the ’90s have shared some prime examples of how we get the ’90s wrong and elements we have completely forgotten about, from recalling society’s very unhealthy obsession with thinness, to police brutality, to the questionable hunter green/maroon craze (remember that?).

    Take a scroll down memory lane with our 15 favorites:

    1.”The early 90s and late 90s were two very different times culturally. I can’t stand it when I see a picture of the spice girls with a ‘So 90s!’ caption.”

    “There’s a HUGE difference between the early 90’s and late 90’s. After 1996 it was more millennial, Pokémon, Britney Spears vs the early 90’s which was more grunge and smooth RnB.”

    2. “Not all Gen Xers were disinterested slackers in the 90s.”

    “I graduated from university in 1991. I spent the 1990s trying to get a decent job, pay rent and generally just getting my shit together. Most other people my age seemed to be doing pretty much the same thing, unless they had rich parents.”

    3. “Nobody seems to talk about all the maroon and hunter-green wallpaper strips that were added to the top of the walls in houses. Maroon and hunter-green everywhere. From cars to vacuums and beyond.”

    “My comforter set for my freshman dorm (Fall 1994) was maroon on one side, hunter green on the other. I realized it was dark and depressing so I got a girlie daisy print bedspread for the rest of college.”

    4. “Money was tight then, too. People were happy with fewer luxuries, because we could get by. And the very idea of giving a child a device worth hundreds of dollars was ludicrous! I still feel this way.”

    5. “A lot of people talk about the 90s like it was a utopian decade. Sure, a lot of stuff was awesome. But there was also the AIDS epidemic, the crack epidemic, the heroin epidemic, lots of police brutality, the sharp uptick in domestic terrorism, etc. plus the casual sexism, racism, & homophobia. The hope for the future that started in late 1989 with the fall of the Berlin Wall and the heating up of our economy in the mid-90s only lasted until 2000. It was a very brief window, in retrospect.”

    6. “Female celebrities were shrinking to child sizes and getting praised for it. ‘Thinspo’ was a thing. ALL my friends group from high school and college, including myself, had eating disorders — Marlboro Light and Diet Coke for every meal. Our idea of sports was extreme cardio only. We were SO unhealthy. Thank God we were young enough to bounce back to normal without major issues.”

    7. “That Nirvana ruled the 90s, and killed off all other forms of hard rock. They hit hard for about two and a half years, and then we were stuck with Tonic and the goddamn Spin Doctors.”

    “A lot of people mention grunge and gangsta rap, but country was very hot too. Country line dancing became a big thing, Branson, Missouri became a big tourist destination with its theaters, and artists like Garth Brooks and Shania Twain made tons of money.”

    “I don’t think the Riot Grrrl movement gets enough recognition and acknowledgment as an extremely significant 90s cultural event.”

    8. “I think one idea that’s misrepresented is that we were already online, all the time.”

    “I mean, I was STOKED when I got into the dorm with LAN connections in 1993, but I was an outlier. Lots of kids at my college barely understood using computers, much less anything internet-related beyond maybe an AOL/AIM. Obviously this was an evolution of ten very fast moving years.”

    9. “That mom Jeans were cool. No one under 35 wore them.”

    10. “Not everyone wore Doc Martens back in the 1990s. Many people wore military boots as a fashion statement that were often mistaken for Doc Martens, while others wore sneakers every day, even in venues where they should have been wearing more formal shoes.”


    11. “Cellphones were considered tacky and unnecessary unless you were a doctor.”

    12 .”Not everyone got around on rollerblades.”

    13. “Property was cheaper, not cheap as in affordable to all.”

    14. “If your family lived in a rural area and wasn’t rich enough to immediately buy a computer, you could be lonely in a way that people can’t even comprehend now. I spent the last two years of high school doing nothing, watching TV and playing 16-bit RPGs repeatedly because I couldn’t get anywhere or do anything.”

    15. “Drunk driving didn’t have the stigma it does today. It took a long campaign waged by MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to shift public perception on how dangerous drunk driving is.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.
    Two hands of different ages grasp one another.Photo credit: Canva
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    I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded…

    There are only a few things in this life we can’t evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there’s Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

    The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

    Know someone before you marry them.

    A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone’s “true nature” to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, “A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year.”

    So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. “Slow down,” she said. “Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don’t get stuck.”

    elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase
    A man kissing a woman near the ocean. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

    Some research shows that the “honeymoon phase” can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, “The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple’s relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.”

    No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

    Listen to your doctors

    elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure

    A doctor examining a patient’s wristu00a0with a stethoscope Photo by CDC on Unsplash

    I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, “Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they’re doing.”

    We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, “No. Really.” She added, “Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it’s too late.”

    Understand that time is precious

    elderly, aging, friendship, time,

    Two men play chess. Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

    One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

    “No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You’re never prepared.”

    If you don’t want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don’t have to.

    On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn’t mean you can’t put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn’t mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

    One man noted, “Just because we all live in one place doesn’t mean we all become one person. We’ve got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It’s still your life.”

    His friend added, “If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Frugal people share their 35 splurges that are worth ‘every penny’
    Frugal people share their shopping tips and what is worth splurging on.Photo credit: Image via Canva
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    Frugal people share their 35 splurges that are worth ‘every penny’

    Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on. On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow…

    Living a frugal life is all about saving money. Frugal people pay attention to how much they spend on pretty much everything they buy. But even penny pinchers know that for quality, life-improving items, certain things are worth splurging on.

    On a Reddit thread of frugal people, member WildRootKitchen posed the following question to fellow frugal shoppers: “What’s one thing you splurge on that’s worth every penny?”

    Frugal people spilled on the things they don’t mind dropping money on. These are 35 splurges frugal people say are worth “every penny.”

    splurge, splurging, frugal splurge, splurges, money splurge
    Celebrate Parks And Rec GIF Giphy

    “For me, it’s a solid pair of boots and a good mattress. If my feet and back are shot, the whole day’s downhill from there. I’ll eat leftovers and skip takeout all week if it means I’m sleeping right and walking easy. Also decent coffee and laundry service are creeping up the list too.” —WildRootKitchen

    “Air conditioning. I make money so I can be comfortable, not be uncomfortable so I can save money.” —strwbrymocha

    “AC/Heat, always. I’ll never bat an eye at a higher utility bill so long as my sleep goes uninterrupted.” —MediumBullfrog8688

    “A house cleaner. Maybe that doesn’t sound frugal, but for the mental health benefits I get from knowing every two weeks I will come home to a spotless house, it’s something I will continue to prioritize over many other expenses.” —mzmonarda

    “Gym membership, mattress and pillow, running shoes, quality ingredients from supermarket.” —LoudSilence16

    “I have a method for splurges on unfamiliar items. I’ll buy a tool from harbor freight or a cheap version of something I’m interested in to see if I actually need the item or if I’m interested in it. If I use it a bunch and it breaks, then I splurge on a high quality version. If it just sits somewhere either because I didn’t need it as much as I thought or I wasn’t as interested as I thought, then I’m only out a few bucks. Example: I really enjoy cooking, I wanted to learn how to make sausage. I bought a cheap sausage stuffer on amazon for like $30. I used the hell out of it and it broke broke a couple years later. I did some research and bought a LEM 5lbs sausage stuffer that was like $120 and now I have a high quality piece of equipment that works WAY better than my POS amazon stuffer and it will likely outlive my great grandchildren. Also, name brand hardware like faucets. Learned my lesson from buying cheap faucets. Now I’ll just buy Moen.” —40ozT0Freedom

    “Darn Tough Socks.” —gregarious119

    “Smartwool for me.” —Natural-Run9072

    socks, sock gif, quality socks, splurge socks, sock
    Socks GIF Giphy

    “I live in rural South Carolina. It’s worth it to me to pay for quarterly pest control service from a professional. There are a lot of insects, rodents, reptiles, etc.” —snarkker

    “Vacations.” —Proud_Trainer_1234

    “An ergonomic desk chair. Back pain is no joke. I only wish I had done it much sooner. Not 20 years into my desk job. At least I should have another 20 years with a good chair and no back pain. I spent $700 on my chair and it was worth every penny. The frugal me shopped around but this was the cheapest one I could find new, some outlets were selling the exact same chair for over $800. 10 year warranty on the chair was a nice bonus too. My husband found the exact same chair secondhand for $100 so now we match. His doesn’t have a 10 year warranty but that’s OK for $100.” —Bunnyeatsdesign

    “Buy a second pair of good boots and rotate them. Letting the leather air out a day before wearing the shoes again really help extend their life. I have two cats. I feed them the best grain-free food they will eat. Not only does this extend their life span, the daily litter box collections are much smaller than if they get grain.” —Childless_Catlady42

    workout, fitness, exercise, lifting, fitness gif

    Alfred Hitchcock Workout GIF Giphy

    “I tend to indulge myself when it comes to exercise stuff. The gym classes that I’ll actually go to, the races, the equipment, the good clothes & shoes. I know that everyone talks about a good mattress for their back, but for me, no mattress is as effective as yoga and weight lifting. As long as I keep my core strong, I don’t have back spasms. And running has been amazing for my mental health along with physical, and helped me make some amazing friends. Totally worth every penny.” —kaizenkitten

    “I dedicate a decent portion of my budget to ‘self care’. Think massages, pedicures, manicures. It’s the one thing I forward to it every month, as it’s some of the only downtime I have right now.” —YesChef__

    “Professional Movers. Stop asking your friends ( especially over 30) to help you move! It’s not worth a six pack of beer and some pizza.” —1tiredmommy

    first class, business class, travel, first class gif, luxury travel

    First Class GIF by Slice Giphy

    “Business class/first class — never once have I regretted it. We live reasonably the rest of the time, but when it comes time to travel, this is an indulgence that we grant ourselves.” —Weekly_Leg_2457

    “Just here in case nobody said tattoos yet. Good work ain’t cheap & cheap work ain’t good.” —Clear_Beat5117

    “Reverse osmosis filter. Makes tap water taste good again.” —wonminus1

    “Ethical meat. I feel better about eating it, I’m supporting local farmers, and the taste and quality blows supermarket meat out of the water. At this point, I am perfectly happy only eating meat a few times a week (my husband and I are both former vegetarians) and making sure that when we do eat it, it comes from animals who only had one bad day. (This goes for eggs, too – pasture raised/certified humane whenever it’s available. We don’t eat much dairy for health and animal welfare reasons.)” —dzwonzie

    tires, tire, tire gif, good tires, quality tires

    Fly Rotate GIF by Ilves Motors Giphy

    “Tires too.” —Pessimistic_Penguin2

    “I’m frugal to the max most of the time, but come spring I spend money on flowers, shrubs, things for gardening. That’s my guilty pleasure. I listen to audiobooks from my library. I haven’t watched tv in years because trying to get local channels is impossible. So no streaming service, no cable, but I’m content. I can splurge without feeling guilty like I’ve saved up for it.” —Garden_Lady2

    “Furniture. Well made, excellent cushions, materials…both indoor and out.” —ildadof3

    “Ice cream.” —Clutcha15

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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