If you're Bruce Willis in 'Die Hard,' please carry a gun. Otherwise, here are 7 reasons not to.

Life isn't like the movies.

Let's face it. At one point or another, we've all wished we were Bruce Willis in "Die Hard."

"Awesome. Whoaoaoaoa. Awesome. Yeah. Ungh, awesome." — Everyone. GIF from "Die Hard"/20th Century Fox. Editors note: Upworthy does not endorse firing guns, especially not like this. Don't do it.


Who among us hasn't had the urge to strap a sidearm to our hip and roam around the local mall or college campus just daring the bad guys to try something so we can get our John McClane on? Because even the politicians among us have these fantasies, laws in several states are making it way easier to do so.

The thing is, reality has a funny way of interfering with even the most epic of fantasies. And being cavalier about guns — especially carrying a loaded one around with you with the intent to use it one day — is a very bad idea in reality.

As appealing as it may be, here are seven reasons why kicking ass and taking names is best left to the professionals.

Professionals like Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis in "Die Hard."

1. You're much more likely to injure or accidentally kill yourself with your own gun than you probably think.

In a major study that analyzed data across 19 years, researchers at the Harvard Injury Control Research Center found that there are seven times more accidental gun deaths in the states with the most guns than in the states with the least.

Not becoming one of those statistics ideally means not having a gun in the first place. Or, if you do have one, following proper gun safety protocol to the letter — which means not wandering around town with a loaded firearm — all the time, no exceptions, regardless of how annoying it may be or how experienced you are at handling it.

If you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," however, feel free to do this:

2. Guns are complicated machines, and it's not that hard to set them off accidentally.

For gun owners, it's incredible how much needless carnage can be prevented just by being the baseline amount of careful. A 1991 U.S. Government Accountability Office report found that having the safety on could have prevented 31% of accidental gun deaths, and a "loaded" indicator might have stopped 23% of unintentional death or injury in a one-year span.

If you're carrying around a gun, no matter how securely, there's always a chance you'll drop it or it will fall. And when you try to catch a falling gun, as is many people's first instinct, you don't know where it's pointing or if you'll inadvertently brush the trigger. No matter how you look at it, toting around an unsecured or barely secured sidearm increases the risk of disaster.

But if you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," you can totally go ahead and shoot into the sky with reckless abandon. It's what you were born to do.

3. Having a gun in the home is a major risk factor for suicide.

A 2013 study found that for every 1 percentage-point increase in the rate of personal gun ownership in the U.S., there's a corresponding 0.5-0.9% increase in the rate of suicide. In other words, in a state of 5 million people with a suicide rate of 14 per 100,000 people, even a tiny increase in gun ownership from 20% to 21% would mean an extra four to six suicides per year. That's four to six more families who have to deal with a terrible, irreversible loss. And people who attempt suicide-by-firearm are much more likely to succeed.

This, of course, does not apply if you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," since any lingering thoughts of self-harm have long since been replaced by the overwhelming urge to rescue your wife and seek revenge on her captors by any means necessary.

4. Guns are more frequently used as an intimidation tool than to defend against a legitimate wrong.

Let's face it. If you've got a gun at your side at all times — and you're not a cop or a soldier — there's at least a little piece of you that's saying "Be afraid of me, world. Be very afraid." And the data backs that up. More than one survey conducted by Harvard researchers found that guns were used far more frequently to intentionally scare others — loved ones in particular — than in legitimate self-defense.

Guns are frightening things. So if you do have a gun, please keep it locked up, and don't bring it to Starbucks. And for gods sake, don't take it out and brandish it. I don't care if you know you're a "good guy with a gun" because I don't know you. You're just a guy with a gun. In a public space. And that really scares the hell out of people.

If you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," however, go right ahead and whip that puppy out and fire it indiscriminately with a full 90-degree spread. Don't even think about where the bullets might fall. Just do it.

5. Unsecured guns and guns in the wrong hands are a major killer of children.

The evidence here is, sadly, pretty stark. Children who live in states with laxer gun laws are far more likely to die in both accidental shootings and intentional homicides. Much like adults, teenagers who commit suicide are much more likely to live in homes where firearms are present.

If you do have a gun in the home, storing it safely — which means locked up and unloaded — is crucial. A National Institutes of Health study found states that implemented "safe storage" laws in the early '90s saw a 23% decrease in firearm deaths of children under 15 in a four-year period.

But if you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," you don't need to worry about securing your gun because you don't even need to bring one. One will probably just be lying on the floor. Several, in fact. Most likely near the bodies of various East German (?) flunkies. Just take one. And go bonkers.

6. Anger issues and guns are a deadly cocktail.

An April 2015 CBS News report cited a recent study that found about 1 in 10 people with easy access to guns have a documented history of anger issues and impulsive behavior. According to researchers, that's a recipe for big trouble.

Unless you're a loner, estranged from his wife with nine years on the force, a chip on his shoulder, and nothing left to lose. In which case...

7. Your gun is much, much more likely to kill you or a member of your family than a home intruder.

A recent study conducted by the NIH found that for every time a gun is used legally in self-defense, there are four unintentional shootings, seven assaults or murders, and a whopping 11 suicides or attempted suicides.

If you're Bruce Willis in "Die Hard," however, feel free to ignore these statistics, as your gun only ever kills bad guys — 100% of the time.

Unfortunately, none of us are Bruce Willis in "Die Hard."

I'm not Bruce Willis in "Die Hard." You're not Bruce Willis in "Die Hard." Nobody is Bruce Willis in "Die Hard." Not even Bruce Willis is Bruce Willis in "Die Hard." He's just Bruce Willis.

See what I mean? Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images.

"Die Hard" is a fantasy. A basically perfect, endlessly replayable fantasy (and surprisingly excellent Christmas movie to boot!). But a fantasy all the same.

And that's what's great about it.

Watching Bruce Willis in "Die Hard" allows us to satiate our urge to live out our gunslinger hero fantasies completely vicariously, with no cost to our own health or the lives of random bystanders or members of our own families.

This is America.

And in America, Bruce Willis in "Die Hard" gets to do this:

So that the rest of us don't have to.

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Should a man lose his home because the grass in his yard grew higher than 10 inches? The city of Dunedin, Florida seems to think so.

According to the Institute of Justice, which is representing Jim Ficken, he had a very good reason for not mowing his lawn – and tried to rectify the situation as best he could.

In 2014, Jim's mom became ill and he visited her often in South Carolina to help her out. When he was away, his grass grew too long and he was cited by a code office; he cut the grass and wasn't fined.

France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

But several years later, this one infraction would come back to haunt him after he left to take care of him's mom's affairs after she died. The arrangements he made to have his grass cut fell through (his friend who he asked to help him out passed away unexpectedly) and that set off a chain reaction that may result in him losing his home.

The 69-year-old retiree now faces a $29,833.50 fine plus interest. Watch the video to find out just what Jim is having to deal with.

Mow Your Lawn or Lose Your House! www.youtube.com

Cities

The world officially loves Michelle Obama.

The former first lady has overtaken the number one spot in a poll of the world's most admired women. Conducted by online research firm YouGov, the study uses international polling tools to survey people in countries around the world about who they most admire.

In the men's category, Bill Gates took the top spot, followed by Barack Obama and Jackie Chan.

In the women's category, Michelle Obama came first, followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie. Obama pushed Jolie out of the number one spot she claimed last year.

Unsurprising, really, because what's not to love about Michelle Obama? She is smart, kind, funny, accomplished, a great dancer, a devoted wife and mother, and an all-around, genuinely good person.

She has remained dignified and strong in the face of rabid masses of so-called Americans who spent eight years and beyond insisting that she's a man disguised as a woman. She's endured non-stop racist memes and terrifying threats to her family. She has received far more than her fair share of cruelty, and always takes the high road. She's the one who coined, "When they go low, we go high," after all.

She came from humble beginnings and remains down to earth despite becoming a familiar face around the world. She's not much older than me, but I still want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up.

Her memoir, Becoming, may end up being the best-selling memoir of all time, having already sold 10 million copies—a clear sign that people can't get enough Michelle, because there's no such thing as too much Michelle.

Don't like Michelle Obama? Don't care. Those of us who love her will fly our MO flags high and without apology, paying no mind to folks with cold, dead hearts who don't know a gem of a human being when they see one. There is nothing any hater can say or do to make us admire this undeniably admirable woman any less.

When it seems like the world has lost its mind—which is how it feels most days these days—I'm just going to keep coming back to this study as evidence that hope for humanity is not lost.

Here. Enjoy some real-life Michelle on Jimmy Kimmel. (GAH. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE AND AWESOME. I can't even handle it.)

Michelle & Barack Obama are Boring Now www.youtube.com

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via EarthFix / Flickr

What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

Planet

The world is dark and full of terrors, but every once in a while it graces us with something to warm our icy-cold hearts. And that is what we have today, with a single dad who went viral on Twitter after his daughter posted the photos he sent her when trying to pick out and outfit for his date. You love to see it.




After seeing these heartwarming pics, people on Twitter started suggesting this adorable man date their moms. It was essentially a mom and date matchmaking frenzy.

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