You know the feeling. There’s laundry spilling out of the hamper, 47 emails glaring at you from your inbox, and a Word document that’s supposed to become a report by Friday morning through… magic? You need to start. You want to start. And yet, you don’t.
The longer you put it off, the worse it gets. You might feel tempted to call yourself names, like “lazy” or “unmotivated,” but psychologists suggest that procrastination isn’t about laziness at all—it’s about emotional regulation. It’s about dodging discomfort: the anxiety of not knowing where to begin, the fear of doing it badly, the sheer weight of the thing itself.
But what if you didn’t have to start the task at all? What if you only had to start getting ready for it?
This is the brilliant idea behind the “anti-start” ritual, a concept that’s been taking over TikTok lately. It’s not a grueling productivity hack designed to squeeze more hours out of your day. Instead, it’s a gentle, compassionate way to trick your brain into crossing the starting line without even realizing the race has begun.
What exactly is the ‘anti-start’ ritual?
TikTok creator Ankita Tejwani (@ankitatej) popularized the term while sharing her personal method for overcoming that paralyzing “freeze” response.
The premise is simple. You trick your brain by lowering the stakes. Instead of telling yourself, “I need to write this essay right now,” you pivot and say, “I’m not going to work. I’m just going to set up my space.”
TikTok · Ankita Tejwani Credit: @ankitatej via TikTok
In her viral video, Tejwani describes her inner monologue: “OK, you’re not going to start,” she tells herself. “That’s OK. Just set the stage for someone who will. Clean your space, light a candle, get a coffee, open your laptop, and set the stage for when you are ready. No pressure.”
Another user, @legalwrites, describes their own “anti-start” ritual: “Begin each session with a consistent, positive trigger. Light a candle, drink the same tea, or play a specific song. These conditions help your brain to recognize that it’s time to focus.”
It’s a bridge between doing nothing and doing the hard thing. And for thousands online, it’s been a game-changer.
Why this simple trick actually works
(1) It quiets the fear response
When a task feels big or daunting, the amygdala—your brain’s built-in threat detector—kicks in. We avoid tasks that make us feel bad: anxious, overwhelmed, unsure, and afraid of screwing up. The worse a task feels, the harder we’ll try to dodge it.
“It’s all about our feelings,” says Tim Pychyl, the head of the Procrastination Research Group and an associate professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ontario, Canada. “Procrastination is the misregulation of emotion. We think that by putting things off, we’re going to feel better.”
- YouTube youtube.com
That’s procrastination in action. But if you shift your attention to something small and harmless, like making tea or tidying your desk, your brain relaxes. There’s no threat to react to.
This is what psychologists call “decoupling emotional resistance from task initiation.” Opening a document isn’t scary. Laying out your materials won’t hurt you. Counting down from five takes no courage at all. These tiny gestures are so bland and effortless that your brain’s alarm system has nothing to latch onto.
Another user shares their anti-start, or "start," ritual. Photo Credit: @the.1491 via TikTok
Once the trivial action is complete, however, the psychological landscape shifts. You’re in motion—that’s the game. Once you’ve tricked yourself into lighting the candle or organizing your desk, your brain has shifted gears—motivation starts to build, your prefrontal cortex wakes up, and you’ve cleared the hardest hurdle.
(2) It makes you feel motivated, neurologically
Procrastination isn’t about laziness. It’s about motivation. Or, more precisely, the neurochemistry of it. Dopamine, the molecule that drives you to want things and do things, is at the heart of the issue.
Here’s the “anti-ritual” trick: dopamine doesn’t show up before you start. It shows up after. Waiting around to feel motivated is like waiting for a train that only arrives once you’re already on it. That doesn’t make a ton of sense.
When you take even the smallest action—tidying a desk, opening a file, putting on your shoes—you change your physical state. Suddenly, the motivation you were hoping would arrive on its own is there because you summoned it by moving.
Motivation, in other words, is not the cause of action. It’s the result.
(3) It reduces decision fatigue
Rituals offer something valuable to procrastinators: predictability. Psychologists call this phenomenon “implementation intention,” which is basically the “if-then” plans you make in advance. The logic is straightforward: specific cues are linked to specific actions. For example, “If it’s 9 a.m., then I open my laptop.” Or, “If I finish breakfast, then I sit at my desk.”
Once that connection is forged, there’s nothing to think about. You’ve already decided. There’s nothing left to debate.
This user's start ritual sums it up: we're starting now. Photo Credit: @aaiimmiiee via TikTok
In one study, students were asked to write an essay during Christmas break (arguably the worst possible time to get work done). The students who made implementation intentions about exactly when and where they’d write finished the essay 71% of the time. Those who just set the goal without a plan? Only 32% followed through.
Implementation intentions, or anti-rituals, are so effective because they remove the moment of choice. You hit your cue, and the rest unfolds on autopilot. There’s no window for second-guessing or distraction.
What does an anti-start ritual look like?
The beauty of this concept is that it is entirely personal. Don’t aim for perfection—that’s the exact opposite of an anti-ritual. You need a series of cues that signal to your brain: We are arriving at the workspace.
Here are a few examples of what this might look like for different people.
Woman lighting a candle with a match, surrounded by softly glowing candles.Photo credit: Canva
The “cozy” ritual
This ritual is ideal for writers or administrative professionals who work best when they feel safe and calm.
- Step 1: Put on a pair of comfy socks.
- Step 2: Fill a water bottle or make a cup of hot tea.
- Step 3: Light a specific candle (scent is a powerful trigger for memory and habit).
- Step 4: Put on a specific playlist, like the minimalist YouTube video, “Give your brain a break.”
- Step 5: Open the document.
Man stretching neck in living room, wearing a gray shirt, with eyes closed.Photo credit: Canva
The “active” ritual
If you’re feeling sluggish or physically “stuck,” movement can be the spark your brain needs to wake up and get flowing again.
- Step 1: Stand up and stretch deeply.
- Step 2: Shake out your hands and feet to release nervous energy.
- Step 3: Clean one area of the room.
- Step 4: Sit back down.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings by hand is a totally different experience.Photo credit: Canva
The “analog” ritual
For those who feel immediately overwhelmed by screens, starting with pen and paper can be a game-changer.
- Step 1: Close your laptop.
- Step 2: Grab a physical notebook and your favorite pen.
- Step 3: Write down three things you want to accomplish, or fill a page with free-written thoughts.
- Step 4: Once that’s complete, reopen your laptop.
A gentle word of caution
While the anti-start ritual is an excellent tool, it’s essential to use it in a way that honors who you are. The internet is full of “aesthetic” morning routines that look beautiful but may not be practical in real life.
Beware of the “positivity trap”: It’s easy to get so hyper-focused on perfecting a ritual that it turns back into procrastination. If you spend 45 minutes arranging your desk pens by color before answering an email, the ritual is no longer serving you. The goal is to make starting easier, not to create a more polished obstacle.
Respect your natural rhythm: It’s vital to remember that a ritual should not force you to become someone you aren’t. As reported by Outside Online, forcing a routine that fights your biology can actually backfire.
“Everyone’s routine is super unique, and it’s supposed to be,” Kristen Casey, a licensed clinical psychologist and insomnia specialist, tells Outside Online. “So, if you’re trying to mimic someone else’s routine to a tee, it’s likely that you’ll run into some problems, because you’re not that person.”
For example, if you’re a night owl, forcing a 5 a.m. “anti-start” ritual might lead to sleep deprivation and frustration. Vanessa Hill, a behavioral scientist and science communicator, notes that fighting your circadian rhythm leaves you feeling groggy and less productive.
If your brain works best at 10 p.m., do your anti-start ritual then. The best routine is the one that works with your biology, not against it.
Be kind to your brain
In a culture obsessed with optimization, the anti-start ritual offers an alternative: the permission to begin gently. In this way, it’s not a productivity hack in the usual sense. There’s no weird time-blocking, gamification, or guilt. It’s a way of being kinder to yourself when starting the work feels impossible.
Photo credit: Canva
Anti-start rituals work because they accept a fundamental truth: starting is the hardest part. You don’t need to run a marathon. All they ask is that you lace up your shoes.
Next time resistance shows up, try this: don’t force it. Light a candle. Clear the desk. See what happens next.
How to criticize Caitlyn Jenner fairly — and oh, there's a lot to criticize.
A simple tip for tough discussions and disagreements.
Caitlyn Jenner has history of giving troubling sound bites.
In the wake of a shooting attack on Republican members of Congress, Jenner "joked" that "liberals can't even shoot straight." She once told BuzzFeed that, "the hardest part about being a woman is figuring out what to wear." During the 2016 election she said she wanted to be the "trans ambassador" for vehemently anti-LGBTQ politician Ted Cruz.
Take into account her public transition and her connection to the Kardashian family, there's no shortage of people ready and eager to call her out for comments like those.
I'm no fan of her, either. Trust me. Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.
Though we can't know for sure Jenner's intent, her status as a public figure and her habit of saying offensive, inappropriate, and ill-informed things makes life for trans people like me that much harder. She wants to speak for my demographic, and yet, when she opens her mouth, she often says things I vehemently disagree with.
It's embarrassing. It's exhausting.
Also exhausting, however, is the reaction I see play out every time Jenner says something problematic.
For every on-point criticism of whatever it is Jenner said, there are waves of people who respond with transphobic comments and "jokes" that misgender her and refer to her by her old name.
It certainly seems as though many people feel that Jenner saying or doing something awful gives them the green light to let out some general anti-trans feelings on the world — even if by accident.
While those sorts of comments may be directed at her, they send a really unfortunate message to all trans people, implying that being called the correct name and pronoun is a privilege to be "earned" and that can later be revoked in the case of bad behavior.
Those types of comments suggest that the person making them is merely humoring trans people when using our correct pronouns and names instead of taking us at our word when it comes to who we are.
The bottom line is this: Calling Caitlyn Jenner a "man" or using her old name doesn't really address what makes her so objectionable.
There's a name for this kind of bad argument.
It's called "ad hominem," and it's basically when someone comes to an argument to insult someone's character or body as opposed to their ideas. It's a pretty weak way to make a point, and honestly, it often affects more than the intended target.
So how can you criticize Caitlyn Jenner without being transphobic? Simple: Avoid ad hominem.
After Jenner's comments about the congressional shooting began circulating, here's an exchange I saw take place on Twitter:
One person posted a link to the recent story about her "liberals can't even shoot straight" comments. Out of nowhere, people replied to that tweet calling her a man, saying things about how her "real name" was "Bruce," and lots of stuff that had nothing to do with the stupid thing that she actually said.
A better way to respond would be to criticize her comments as being offensive or inappropriate in the wake of the tragedy she was talking about.
What if you just won't be satisfied unless you can crack a joke? LGBTQ activist Dan Savage pretty much nailed it with his response to her comments: "The liberal black lesbian married cop who took out the shooter got the job done."
Boom. Critical. Funny. Most importantly, not-transphobic.
There's nothing wrong with criticizing Caitlyn Jenner — whether the person doing the criticizing is trans or not.
Just because ad hominem attacks aren't OK doesn't mean Jenner gets some sort of "free pass" to say troubling things unchecked. It doesn't mean she shouldn't be held accountable for her words or that she shouldn't be criticized for her views or politics.
If people feel the need to criticize her for her political views, her charmed reality TV life, or her actions, they absolutely should do that. Believe me, there is plenty there to address.
There's just no need to bring transphobia into it.
Clarification 6/20/2017: A previous version of this post stated Jenner means well with her comments; it was updated to reflect that we don't know her intent.