Here are some practical and important ways white Americans can fight for racial justice

Hey, fellow white Americans. It’s been a week. Many of us are horrified by the murder of George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor and other Black Americans and are finally coming around to seeing how real the issue of racism is in our country. We hear our friends who aren’t white asking us…

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Photo credit: Photo by Clay Banks on UnsplashArray

Hey, fellow white Americans.

It’s been a week. Many of us are horrified by the murder of George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor and other Black Americans and are finally coming around to seeing how real the issue of racism is in our country. We hear our friends who aren’t white asking us to take action. We may recognize that we have a responsibility to do more than simply “not be racist,” but we may not be sure where to begin or what action looks like in practical terms.

Welcome to the world of anti-racism.

The goal here is to dismantle racism in our systems and institutions, as well as root it out within ourselves. As inheritors of a country built with the labor of enslaved Black people on land stolen from Indigenous people—a country whose systems were designed by and for white people—racism comes with the territory. None of us are immune.

Don’t take it personally. We didn’t choose our skin any more than anyone else, and this isn’t about “guilt.” But we inherited a racial legacy, and we have a responsibility to see where we benefit from it. We also have a responsibility to use our power and privilege to repair the damage that racial legacy has done and keeps doing.


A simple definition of racism used in racial justice work is “prejudice + power.” Most of us are fairly clear on what prejudice entails —stereotyping, profiling, discriminating, etc.—but many of us struggle with what the power part means for us. And that’s the part that we can utilize to enact desperately needed systemic change.

We may not consciously realize it, but white Americans, as a collective, have more power than any other single group to either maintain or change things. And we also have individual power that we can wield for better or for worse.

Keep in mind that none of this is simple. Since we’re trying to build an equitable and just society—which we’ve literally never seen in this country or arguably anywhere on this planet—we’re all in learning mode. But a lot of work has been done by racial justice advocates and activists to determine how white folks can contribute most effectively to this work.

Though not an exhaustive list, here are some practical ways we can use our power to push for racial justice on an ongoing basis.

Use the power of PRIVILEGE to disrupt incidents of racial injustice.

White privilege means your skin color offers you a certain measure of protection in our society—and that privilege can be used as a tool. That might mean stepping in with your voice when you witness injustice happening, knowing that a fellow white person or person in authority is more likely to listen to you than a person of color. Sometimes it means physically standing between a person of color and someone who is trying to harm them. We may not think it makes much of a difference, but it does. White folks are less likely to be viewed by other white folks as a threat or a suspect or a potential criminal, and we can physically disrupt racial injustice simply by placing our white self in front of it.

Here’s an example of disrupting injustice with your voice:

Here’s an example of stepping in to shield a person of color with your body:

Use the power of your WALLET to support the work of people of color.

The economic disparity between white and Black Americans is a vast and often overlooked element of racial inequality. From the lack of generational wealth stemming from nearly 250 years of slavery to laws and policies that specifically kept Black people from accumulating wealth, white power-holders in the U.S. created and maintained this disparity. That doesn’t mean all white people are rich and all Black people are poor; it means there’s an ongoing collective disparity caused by racism that needs to be redressed. We can help by financially supporting minority-owned businesses, as well as creators, artists and activists of color.

Use the power of CHOICE to defer to leaders of color in this fight.

We are free to choose how we take action and decide who we listen to. Some of us might feel compelled and eager to lead a movement or launch an initiative ourselves, because that’s how we’re used to taking action. But there are already leaders in this space—powerful, activist people of color who have been at this for a long, long time, whether we’ve realized it or not. This movement doesn’t need us to sweep in as a savior and take over anything. Look into organizations like Color of Change or Showing Up for Racial Justice. Our role is to take direction from the leaders already here, to listen and learn, and to be of service alongside the people who’ve been doing this work in ways that they tell us are most helpful.

Use the power of your PLATFORM to elevate voices of people of color.

Social media gives us the opportunity to speak publicly any time we wish. Most of us have fairly homogenous social circles, even if we live in diverse communities, so exposing our mostly white networks to diverse perspectives helps voices that need to be heard reach further. Start following social media account of people of color (here’s a list of Black thought leaders to start with) and share their posts. When you read an article by a Black author, pass it along. Use the public platform you have to amplify the voices that need to be heard.

Use the power of POLITICAL ACTION to contact lawmakers and demand change.

White people have massive political power. We have always held—and still do hold—a disproportionate number of seats in legislatures (and all governmental positions). And whether we admit it or not, we are the ones who the people at the top listen to first and foremost. We can use that power to push for reform. One place to start right now would be police reform. The Center for Policing Equity is a good resource to explore what kinds of reform to push for.

Use the power of your VOTE to elect anti-racism candidates.

Don’t underestimate the power of voting at all levels—local, state, and national. White folks have always been the largest voting block in the nation, and historically we’ve used that power to elect a disproportionate number of white government officials. Supporting people of color as candidates and voting for candidates with a proven anti-racism track record is one way to shift that power to make our government more representative of the American people.

And local elections are particularly important, as in many localities voters elect sheriffs, prosecutors and judges—positions that directly impact racial justice. If you’re not sure if you’re registered to vote or need to know how to vote in your area, go here.

Use the power of ACCESS to resources to educate yourself.

One thing that becomes woefully clear to as you dive into anti-racism work is how abysmal most of our education on the history of race in our country really is. Like, it’s so bad. I grew up in a household that actively valued education and worked to battle racial prejudice and was still baffled. Most of us don’t learn the full history of white supremacy and how deep those roots run. We aren’t taught that the Confederate states didn’t want to keep slavery primarily because of economics but because—as they announced in no uncertain terms—they believed white superiority over the Black race was and always would be God’s intended purpose. We don’t learn about the bombing of Black Wall Street in the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921. We don’t learn the details of voter suppression, redlining, or the fact that MLK, Jr. and his activism was disapproved of by most Americans in his lifetime.

And that’s just basic history. We also need to wrap our brains around the psychological, sociological, and economic impacts of racism. It’s a lot, but it’s vital. This link to Anti-Racism Resources for White People is a great place to start with that self-education.

** An important note here: While we need to listen to people of color, don’t ask Black friends to educate you. It is not their job or responsibility to educate us on our own history and our own issues with racism. When we ask a Black person to educate us, we are asking them to do labor for us for free. When you think of it in those terms, it’s pretty clear why it’s problematic.

Anti-racism is everyone’s fight, but we have a unique and vital role in it as white Americans. And if we don’t use our power to actively push our nation toward equity and justice, we don’t just contribute to the problem, we are the problem.

  • Sunbather doesn’t budge when Harry and Meghan’s entourage has to walk around her. She’s the internet’s new hero.
    Photo credit: Mark Jones via Wikimedia Commons(L) Meghan Markle and Prince Harry; (R) A sunbather reads a book.
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    Sunbather doesn’t budge when Harry and Meghan’s entourage has to walk around her. She’s the internet’s new hero.

    A beachgoer couldn’t be bothered by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s visit and the internet is absolutely obsessed with her: “The level of not giving a f* I dream of achieving.”

    When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visited Bondi Beach on April 17, they were surrounded by the usual circus: paparazzi, crowds, bodyguards in matching uniforms, the whole production. One woman lay on her mat in the middle of it all, scribbling in her notebook, wearing sunglasses, and apparently not giving a single thought to any of it.

    A TikTok clip posted by News.com.au captured the moment as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex walked the beach during the final day of their Australian tour. Their entourage had to navigate around her. She did not look up. The royal couple’s eyes tracked her as they passed. She continued writing.

    News.com.au summed it up in their caption: “One woman’s complete indifference is peak Bondi attitude.”

    @news.com.au

    One woman’s complete indifference is peak Bondi attitude. #princeharry #meghanmarkle #bondibeach #sydney #royals

    ♬ original sound – News.com.au

    The internet agreed enthusiastically. “The level of not giving a f* I dream of achieving,” one commenter wrote. “Peak unbothered,” said another. “Well done to that lady for not giving a damn,” a Facebook commenter added.

    The coda that made the story perfect: a TikTok commenter recognized the woman as her sister and revealed she thought the crowd had gathered around an actor.

    Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, viral, Australia, celebrity
    Aerial view of Bondi Beach in Australia. Photo credit: Canva

    The visit itself was a quieter affair than Harry and Meghan’s 2018 Australian tour, when they were still working royals and the reception was considerably more ceremonial.

    This trip included stops to support volunteer first responders at the Bondi Surf Bathers’ Life Saving Club, a Masterchef Australia appearance, and promotion of Meghan’s As Ever lifestyle brand. The Guardian described it as less a royal tour than something else entirely. One woman on a beach mat seems to have agreed.

  • A child star from ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ got expelled while filming.  The principal framed the letter Robin Williams wrote in response.
    Photo credit: 20th Century FoxRobin Williams as the inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."
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    A child star from ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ got expelled while filming. The principal framed the letter Robin Williams wrote in response.

    Robin Williams wrote a letter to the principal who expelled his 15-year-old co-star during Mrs. Doubtfire. The principal framed it. And still didn’t let her back in.

    Lisa Jakub was 15 years old and filming Mrs. Doubtfire when her high school sent her a letter saying not to come back.

    She’d been a 9th grader at a Canadian school when production started. With no internet to submit work digitally, she’d set up a system to mail her assignments back and forth. It worked … until it didn’t. A few months in, the school decided the arrangement wasn’t working for them, and Jakub was out.

    At 15, she was devastated. Robin Williams noticed she was upset, and did what Robin Williams apparently just did: he wrote a letter to the principal asking them to support her education and her career.

    Jakub shared the story during a Mrs. Doubtfire cast reunion on the Brotherly Love podcast, and the punchline is perfect: “The principal got the letter, framed the letter, put it up in the office, and didn’t ask me to come back.”

    She got into the University of Virginia anyway. When she did, a teaching assistant handed back a statistics assignment with the note: “Dear Doubtfire Girl, you got a B-.”

    What she also got, from her time on set with Williams, was something harder to grade. She described working with him as a crash course in presence and spontaneity, which was a total departure from the scripted rhythms she’d learned as a child actor. “We had always used a script, so I knew when it was my turn to speak, I could say my line. Then you go on set with Robin, and it’s like, who the f*ck knows what’s going to happen now?”

    He also later wrote her a recommendation letter for college. The school never did ask her back. She turned out fine.

  • An elderly woman’s card kept declining at Walmart. The teen cashier didn’t hesitate for a second.
    Photo credit: CanvaA cashier hands change to a customer.

    Brent Cabahug moved from the Philippines to Minnesota with his mom and sister. He’s a high school senior at Stillwater Area High School, and Walmart is his first job. He’s been saving up to buy a car.

    During a shift in late January, an elderly woman came through his checkout line and her card kept declining. The line grew restless. Cabahug walked around the register and paid her $80 grocery bill himself. Then he went back to work.

    Another customer in line, a mom of four named Dani Dircks, watched the whole thing happen, as reported by WCCO. “I watched this cashier, knowing nothing about him, walk around, knowing nothing about that lady, and he didn’t care,” she said. “He didn’t care in that moment who she was, who she loved, who she voted for.”

    kindness, teens, immigration, Walmart, pay it forward
    A young cashier rings up an item at the store. Photo credit: Canva

    Dircks wanted to do something. She learned Cabahug was saving for a car, planned to help his family buy a house after graduation, and intended to become a nurse. A leg injury had ended his volleyball career, and he’d redirected his ambitions toward healthcare. She started a GoFundMe. It has raised over $12,000 toward a $14,000 goal.

    Cabahug didn’t pay $80 expecting anything back. He paid it because that’s apparently just who he is. The rest took care of itself.

    The story brings to mine this viral classic:

  • The fascinating reason people looked much older in the past than they do today
    Photo credit: via Vsauce/YouTubeNorm was only in his 30s?

    Ever look at your parents’ high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

    Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

    What is retrospective aging?

    This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

    anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products
    Buddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. Photo credit: upload.wikimedia.org

    But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people’s glasses and not a hip kid from the ’50s.

    So in the photo from the ’50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

    But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person’s name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces “match” their names tend to be better perceived.

    Why do young people today look younger than previous generations?

    It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. “Tweakments,” like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever, not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

    Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it’s hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can’t wait to see a bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

     

  • Sorry, ‘Miss Congeniality,’ meteorologists agree April 25 isn’t even close to the perfect date
    Photo credit: The Chow Hall/YouTube & CanvaA scene from "Miss Congeniality" and a woman enjoying the sun.
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    Sorry, ‘Miss Congeniality,’ meteorologists agree April 25 isn’t even close to the perfect date

    “I’d have to say April 25th because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.”

    In 2000’s Miss Congeniality, Sandra Bullock’s character goes undercover as an FBI agent posing as a contestant in a beauty pageant. One of the film’s most memorable lines comes when the pageant host, portrayed by William Shatner, asks Miss Rhode Island to describe her “perfect date.”

    Shatner’s character is beside himself when Miss Rhode Island, played by Heather Burns, describes her perfect calendar date instead of a romantic rendezvous. “I’d have to say April 25th because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket,” she responds.

    Since the movie’s release, April 25 has become known in some circles as “Miss Congeniality Day,” a pop-culture holiday celebrating the amazing spring weather.

    Does April 25 have the best weather of the year?

    However, does April 25 really have the best weather of any day of the year? Is it the day when the Earth is at the perfect distance from the sun so it’s not too hot and not too cold? The meteorology team at WeatherBug, a people-first forecasting app, analyzed U.S. weather patterns from 2018 to the present day and found that, unfortunately for Miss Rhode Island, April 25 isn’t even close to the best day of the year.

    The WeatherBug team discovered that October 8 is “The Perfect Date,” claiming that it “most consistently delivers the ideal combination of comfortable temperatures and minimal rainfall across the country.” October 8 is the strongest contender for the “Perfect Date” title because it consistently delivers the lowest amount of rainfall, just 0.0573 inches, and a comfortable average temperature of 66°F.

    weatherbug, weather chart, good weather
    “The Perfect Date” Photo credit: WeatherBug (used with permission)

    April 25 ranks 80th, with 0.1297 inches of rain and an average temperature of 60°F. Over the past eight years, the best day for weather in America was May 9, 2022. There was virtually no rain and an average temperature of 68°F nationwide.

    “Through years of daily weather pattern monitoring and weighing precipitation amounts by population size through WeatherBug’s extensive database of active users, we’ve determined April 25th might hold a special place in pop culture, but the date actually ranks 80th measured against the 365 days of the year,” Brittney Gomez, a meteorologist at WeatherBug, said in a statement. “April 25th saw an average of 0.1297 inches of precipitation in the past 8 years, with an average temperature of 60°F. So, while it might not be the ‘perfect date,’ April 25th is still ‘light jacket’ friendly.”

    What are the hottest and coldest days of the year?

    The team also found that the hottest day of the year is July 14, reaching a nationwide average of 81°F, and that January 20 is the coldest, averaging just 33°F.

    When most people hear that April 25 is the nicest day of the year, they probably take it at face value. It’s a nice spring day—who’s gonna challenge the idea? However, the opinion is coming from Miss Rhode Island, a woman who misunderstood a very basic question at a beauty pageant. While we all nodded our heads in agreement, we never considered the source of the information. So, good on WeatherBug for challenging the status quo and giving us a reason to look forward to early October.

  • 9 automatic habits that are telltale signs someone grew up in the ’70s
    Photo credit: Canva9 automatic habits that are telltale signs someone grew up in the ’70s.
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    9 automatic habits that are telltale signs someone grew up in the ’70s

    Saving small things for later might be due to the era you were born in.

    Each generation has its own unique quirks that mark the times in which its members grew up. Often, people belonging to those generations don’t fully recognize their own idiosyncrasies. But once they’re pointed out, you can’t unsee them. Way Back Americana shares a list of subtle habits that signal you were a ’70s child.

    Adults who grew up in the ’70s are solidly Gen X, and aside from being known as the “Forgotten Generation,” a few habits might give away their age. It’s likely not what you think, either. Repetitive directives given during childhood often define automatic behaviors that we carry into adulthood. Rinsing a dish before use, even when it’s clean, is one example, but Gen X has a few that are unique to its generation.

    Gen X, habits, 70s kids, growing up Gen X, generations
    ’70s teens in a group. Photo credit: Canva

    Listening before opening a door

    Pausing to listen before entering a room doesn’t always mean someone’s being nosy. This is a leftover habit of people who grew up in the ’70s, likely due to stricter social rules around children being present during adult conversations. Children were still encouraged to be quiet and unobtrusive when inside the house, especially in the presence of adults who didn’t live with them.

    Silence is suspicious

    If you’ve had a parent burst into your room unannounced and look around suspiciously, chances are they grew up in the ’70s or before. Silence is suspicious to them. It can feel like something is missing. The Way Back Americana YouTube channel explains that there was always some quiet commotion or background noise in a room during the ’70s. The absence of noise can be unsettling to some.

    Gen X, habits, 70s kids, growing up Gen X, generations
    A girl in ’70s clothes lying on the floor. Photo credit: Canva

    Flipping the switch

    Turning off the lights is something that seems helpful. It conserves energy and reduces your power bill, but this helpful habit is so reflexive that it happens without thinking. Someone could be sitting in the room reading a book when it’s abruptly interrupted by the light being turned off.

    In the ’70s, lightbulbs didn’t last as long as they do now, so kids were constantly reminded to turn off lights. “Lights weren’t left on unnecessarily, and it wasn’t framed as a suggestion. It was just how things were done. Over time, that simple action became instinct, and now it happens without effort. Like a small rule that never stopped applying,” Way Back Americana says.

    Saving things “just in case”

    Keeping things like containers, gift bags, grocery bags, or other random items in case you need to repurpose them later. “This comes from growing up in a time when replacing things wasn’t always easy or immediate, and there was value in holding onto something that could serve a purpose again,” Way Back Americana explains.

    “Hey that’s my spot”

    According to the channel, this habit goes back to a time when certain chairs belonged to certain people. Seating wasn’t random in many households. The adults had their preferred seats, and the children filled in where they could and stayed there. Essentially, everyone subconsciously had assigned seats, which is still something that may be familiar to today’s households.

    Boundaries around time

    When an event is about to end, “You instinctively start wrapping things up without needing to be told. There’s no urge to push past it or stretch it out longer than it’s meant to last,” Way Back Americana shares. “‘Cause you’re used to the idea that when something closes, it closes. That understanding was built early, when schedules were still fixed and expectations were clear, and it created a natural respect for boundaries that still shows up today in how you handle time.”

    Gen X, habits, 70s kids, growing up Gen X, generations
    A woman blows bubbles out a car window. Photo credit: Canva

    Everything has its place

    Noticing when things are slightly out of place is also a marker of the ’70s. Even if it’s a table moved an inch to the left, your brain picks up on it quickly. This is likely due to things having designated places when growing up, which allowed for structure in the house, according to the channel.

    Pausing before leaving the house

    This small reset helps you mark the shift between two different environments. Way Back Americana explains, “Growing up, leaving the house wasn’t rushed, and that sense of transition became part of the experience. Even now, that pause remains. Subtle, but consistent. Like a quiet habit that signals you’re about to go somewhere else.”

  • Teacher lets kindergarteners choose their name for a day. Their choices are delightfully unhinged.
    Photo credit: Canva PhotosA kindergarten teacher decided to let his kindergarteners choose their name for the day and beautiful chaos ensued.
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    Teacher lets kindergarteners choose their name for a day. Their choices are delightfully unhinged.

    “Marshmallow” and “Ochy” will remember this day for a long time.

    It’s not easy to get a classroom full of wiggly, goofball five- and six-year-olds to sit through an entire day of instruction in kindergarten. Teachers have to utilize structure, routine, and just the right pacing to keep things moving. They also have to know when to dial things back and let the kids do what comes naturally: be silly.

    The best educators have a lot of tricks up their sleeve when it comes to getting kids to laugh, move their bodies, and be ready to focus again on the next assignment. But one teacher recently came up with a funny idea that really seemed to stick.

    Teacher attempts hilarious experiment

    Teacher Jordan Lake, a popular creator on Instagram and fifth year kindergarten teacher, recently took to social media to share the results of a fun experiment he did with his students.

    “Letting students change their name for the day because they’re only young once,” he titled the Reel. In it, he’s seen sitting at a desk with a stack of “Hello My Name Is” stickers and a sharpie, bracing himself for the worst.

    In the original clip, which has racked up over seven million views, he addresses a student who’s off camera:

    “What do you want your name to be for the rest of the day?” Lake asks.

    “Marshmallow,” the child answers without a single beat of hesitation.

    “Uh, Ochy,” the next student says, barely holding in a giggle. “I was thinking in my head, I think Ochy is the perfect name.”

    “I love that,” Lake says. “Do you know what it means, or it just sounds cute?”

    “Mmm, I don’t know,” the student says, seemingly having pulled the name completely out of left field.

    “Nice to meet you, Ochy,” Lake says as he hands over the brand new name tag.

    Watch the whole adorable interaction in the viral clip here:

    Thousands chimed in with a single sentiment: The kids will remember this day for a long time

    Perceptive viewers realized what’s not necessarily obvious in the clip. Whether the kids picked silly, made-up, or mundane names, being able to choose for themselves and build a new temporary identity for the day was a joy they won’t forget anytime soon:

    “Love this! We used to do this at our nursery school. So empowering! “

    “Thanks for the idea. I did this the day before spring break with 3rd-5th graders. They loved it!”

    “My 1st grade teacher and all of the class called me Baby Spice for the entire year … it was AWESOME!!!!! I wrote that name on all my tests or assignments. I will never forget Mr. Schmitty for this.”

    “They get to be creative AND get a little secret spelling AND reading lesson?!”

    “We all deserve this level of Whimsy”

    “We all needed a teacher like you”

    “I still remember the day we did this in second grade

    “Im a speech therapist who LOVES this for more than just for its cuteness for which it exceeds the highest level. It also give kids a chance to step into a new identity for the day. I’d ask each kid what their new personas personality is like and what’s they’re strengths are too.”

    “I have a daughter whose kinder teacher was willing to call her ‘strawberry fields’ for an entire school year. I still love that teacher.”

    Lake later posted the full video, covering each kid in his class, and revealed the delightfully unhinged final roster:

    • Morty
    • Kipper
    • Marshmallow
    • Hello
    • Jorbee
    • Shady
    • Foggy
    • Bhum Bhum Kachoom
    • Wiggly
    • Cindy
    • Ochy

    Even tiny, silly amounts of independence for kids make a big difference

    One commenter recalled being allowed to pick a new name for herself as a kid while on a family vacation. It turned a run-of-the-mill trip to the beach into an unforgettable experience that has stayed with her into adulthood.

    Why is that?

    Research shows that agency, even the tiniest amounts of independence, are deeply meaningful to young children. In fact, it’s something they crave—”I can do it myself!”

    Experts say allowing kids, even young children, more autonomy does wonders for their brain and self-esteem. It improves their confidence, allows them to develop critical thinking, and is crucial in their journey to form their own identity. In a school setting, autonomy, choice, and independence allow them to be far more engaged in learning tasks, which explains why it worked so well for Lake.

    And our names? Well, we can pick our clothes, tie our shoes, and decide what we’re having for lunch; but names are forever. Being tasked with the gigantic responsibility of choosing a new name, a new persona—even a temporary one–is the ultimate act of agency for a kid of kindergarten age.

    Having their teacher call them “Marshmallow” or “Jorbee” (because they want to be a bee and sting their brother, obviously) goes so much deeper than just the giggles. Based on all the adults chiming in on Lake’s video, it’s a safe bet that he will be one of those kid’s all-time favorite teachers. And they’ll always have fond memories of the day they got to choose exactly who they wanted to be.

  • Language experts explain the fascinating reason we say ‘goodbye’ and the journey it took from the 1600s
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman waves goodbye from a car.

    Goodbye. It’s a word so many of us use daily. Some shorten it and simply say, “Bye!” If you’re a toddler, you might say, “Bye bye.” If you’re from the South, you may say, “Bah.” But have you ever stopped to think where the word came from?

    A clip from the podcast The Rest is Science, co-hosted by Hannah Fry (a British mathematician) and Michael Stevens (an educator), has been making the rounds on Facebook. Fry explains how the word gently morphed from a completely different phrase in the 1600s.

    Across many languages

    Fry shares the etymology, saying, “The 1600s is the exact century when the parting blessing ‘God be with ye’ was so said so rapidly and often as phatic communion that it permanently mashed together into ‘God b’wy’ and eventually ‘goodbye.’”

    What is of equal fascination (at least for linguist-lovers) is that this seems to be common among many languages, not just English. A commenter shares the Spanish and French equivalents, writing, “Adios from phrase (a Dios vais), meaning ‘I entrust you to God,’ and adieu from phrase ‘a dieu vous commant,’ meaning ‘I command you to God,’ are both formal farewells.”

    Another adds that Croatians have a similar term. “In Croatian, you can say ‘zbogom,’ which translates to ‘with God’ or ‘go with God.’”

    John Howarth (@Johnsenglishpage) shares the same knowledge in an Instagram Reel and specifically asks commenters to share versions in other languages. One writes, “Yes. In Brazilian Portuguese we say ‘Vai com Deus,’ which translating word by word would be ‘May God go with you,’ which means ‘God be with you.’”

    Germany enters the chat with one commenter writing, “In southern Germany, or more specifically in Bavaria, we say ‘Pfia God’ (also Pfiad di God). This is a warm, traditional Bavarian farewell greeting that literally means ‘May God protect you.’”

    Russians have their own version. “Thank you in Russian is spasibo which is a shortened spasi bog meaning ‘god save you.’ Every time we say thanks we (are) actually wishing each other to be saved by God,” writes another commenter.

    And it’s not just ‘goodbye’

    Upworthy spoke with Spanish language expert Jennifer Jin, who doubles down on the similarity that’s often seen among cultures. “You see something similar in Spanish with the word ‘adiós,’ which can be broken down into two Spanish words: a (to) + dios (God). This is similar to English phrases like ‘go with God’ or ‘I commend you to God,’ showing how similar these farewells are across languages and cultures.”

    She also shares that some common sayings are less obvious than others. “There are other common phrases in English and Spanish, like ‘¡Dios mío!’ (My God!) or ‘gracias a Dios’ (thank God) that are more obviously linked to religion, whereas in ‘goodbye’ it’s a more hidden connection.”

    Why it possibly became ‘good’

    In a 2016 piece for Columbia Journalism Review further exploring the origin of the word morphing, former New York Times copy editor Merrill Pearlman writes, “The Oxford English Dictionary traces it to the 16th century and says our current ‘goodbye’ was formed partly by clipping or shortening ‘Godbewithyou,’ where people speak hastily or in shorthand, and partly by compounding, the practice of combining two or more words into one. ‘God’ may also have become ‘good’ because it seemed to go with other expressions like ‘good morning’ and ‘good night.’ And we do like some consistency in our language.”

    If one goes further back in time, they can find partings that don’t have the religious affiliation. “You can, of course, say ‘farewell,’ shortened for ‘fare thee well.’ These are among the oldest parting words in the English language; the OED traces the phrase to the late 14th century.”

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