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Pop Culture

What's not as bad as social media would have you believe? People have answers.

We all know someone who needs to see this.

social media, reddit, good news
via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A woman is outraged by social media.

Social media trends can often put overwhelming attention on a specific subject, turning it into a cultural obsession. There are a lot of examples when it comes to relationships and mental health. Social media is filled with armchair therapists who feel the need to diagnose everything as a psychological or physical disorder.

The problem is that there is often a giant chasm between the way that people who are trained in the world of mental health and psychology use these terms and the way they are bandied about online.

Take the term “gaslighting,” for example.

“Indeed, ‘gaslighting’ can be added to the list of words that have spilled over from clinical psychology into popular nomenclature,” Alia Hoyt writes at HowStuffWorks. “While increased understanding of mental health issues is generally a good thing, it falls decidedly flat when terms like gaslighting, ADHD, OCD, and such are grossly misused. All three have become popular slang terms for feelings and experiences that are nowhere near what the terms mean.”

When every bad partner is elevated to being a narcissist or a gaslighter, personal quirks are symptoms of autism, and bad days become episodes of depression, the world starts to become a lot more frightening.

That’s why a recent post on Reddit by NotABigFanOfDucks was so refreshing. They asked people on the forum, "What isn’t nearly as bad as Reddit would have you believe?" and received nearly 10,000 responses where people tamped down the sensationalist nature of social media.

Here are 11 things that aren’t “nearly as bad” as social media would have us believe.

1. Working through relationship problems

"Yeah, the relationship shouldn’t be a constant struggle that outweighs the good but not always sprinkles and sunshine. We are all human, including you and the people you date." — LocuraLins

2. Dads are welcomed in parks

"As a father, taking my daughters to the park. Nobody ever thought I was a predator or looked at me suspiciously. If anything, most people gave me positive vibes because they liked seeing a father actively involved. Nor was it strange to see other men." — BobbyTwoSticksBTS2

"100%. As a man, I get way more credit for doing anything with my child than her mother does from random strangers. The bar is so low for us lol." — TeddyOne

3. Not all bad partners are abusive

"I mentioned an ex being emotionally immature and someone said he's a covert narcissist. Not every relationship conflict is a sign that someone is abusing you." — Xain_the_idiot

"When did we start using ‘narcissist’ to describe someone exhibiting literally ANY undesirable behavior? It gets on my nerves so bad. Not everyone is a narcissist, FFS. Some people are just your everyday, run-of-the-mill di**head." — NapsAndShinyThings

"This is my big beef. Not everything needs a label to validate it. People can be an a**hole without being a narcissist. Some people are just incorrect sometimes. They're not trying to gaslight you." — I_Poop_Sometimes

4. Mental health

"Oh my god, I am so utterly exhausted by the new crop of armchair psychologists we now have to deal with, thanks to TikTok. Everyone has ADHD, on top of severe anxiety and depression, which are, in turn, caused by terrible past traumas. But you're a badass warrior for simply waking up each morning!" — KryssCom

"My cousin-in-law has OCD and was arrested because she, at the age of 12, took on three officers trying to force her to go to school, but she had to go home because her number of steps wasn't a multiple of 5, so if she didn't walk back home and do it she honestly believed her perfectly healthy mom would die. She believed this enough to fight three police officers. At the age of 12. I was recently talking to someone who said they had OCD, and I asked them ‘what their compulsion is’ and they said, ‘I like to keep my room tidy,’ and I said, ‘Is it tidy right now?’ and they said no, and then got upset when I told them that's not OCD. When I showed them the DSM-V, they told me, ‘It's a spectrum.’ Not everything is on a spectrum. You're neurotypical, and that's OKAY." — Throwaway_Consoles

5. 9 to 5 jobs are evil

"The ‘9 to 5 cubicle job.’ As someone who thought he'd do manual labor and retail bulls**t their entire life, I love my office job." — DabbinOnDemGoy

"This is a big one. Office jobs can feel depressing at times and some are worse than others, but I've been a line cook and a landscaper for years at a time and I'll take my current office job. Nothing against line cooks or landscapers, but those are REALLY tough jobs to maintain for decades. Very tolling on the body, brain and soul." — AfetusnamedJames

6. Wrong ideas about introversion and extraversion

"Introverted and extroverted don't really mean what most people think they mean. It means people who recharge their energy by either being around others or not. If you're an introvert, you 'recharge' alone, if you're an extravert, you recharge by being around others. This is why you can see socially adept introverts and socially awkward extroverts. It has nothing to really do with confidence in social settings, but whether or not they energize you." — LilyHex

7. American life

"Life in America. We absolutely have our problems, but so do all countries. Reddit loves to compare the most awfully designed suburb of a terrible city with, like, downtown Stockholm lol." — Narcadia

"Thank you for reminding this American who gets sucked into pessimism too often. There are some accelerating trends likely to make us such before anyone in the mainstream sees it coming, but all the hysteria around the little things seems to be pushing people further toward disastrous reactions to overblown problems. We could all use a little more 'it ain't that bad.'" — PM_ME_UP_PEWP

8. Upward mobility

"The ability for a person to work hard and improve their quality of life over time." — TooMuchMapleSyrup

"The 'I will never succeed because society has set me up to fail and therefore I will no longer try' attitude is so prevalent and so unhealthy." — One-Zero-Five

"This might be a selfish and nihilistic way to think but when I see people with that mentality, I think how much easier it will be for me to succeed because I'm willing to work hard and improve over time. It's like when people are willing to place themselves near the bottom of the 'pecking order' (standard deviation, bell curve, however, you see it), it's easier for me to rise to the top." — Duhblow7

9. Being a parent is fun

"Being a parent! Raising a whole human from scratch is freaking exhausting, yeah, but kids are also hilarious, sweet, fun, loving, weird, quirky, and awesome—all of which massively and unequivocally outweighs hardship." — Amoryjm

"I really regret listening to people who talked about how hard it would be. Stressed about it so much leading up to it. Not enough people talk about how much f**king FUN being a parent can be." — Knvn8

10. May-December romance

"Age gaps in relationships. Not saying they’re all okay but a lot of Reddit seems to believe they are all inherently abusive." — Hollowdisaster

"Exactly. What’s the point in having an age of consent and then getting upset when two people above that age are both … consenting? People on here love to get upset over things that have nothing to do with them. It’s weird." — Anonymous_Seaotter

11. Rejection

"Suffer the pain of rejection or the pain of regret. I've never regretted approaching a woman, but I still remember regretting not approaching them." — 65AndSunny

"Also, being sensitive to rejection does not mean you have ADHD." — Trcomajo

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Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

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One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Joy

15-year-old surprises his sister with a wedding dance and there's not a dry eye anywhere

The song starts with a recording of them singing together as children.

Avery Albrecht/TikTok

The beautiful bond of brother and sister

Weddings are often catalysts for happy tears, but sometimes an extra special moment or gesture pushes it into "everybody grab a tissue" territory.

This video is one of those. Don't say we didn't warn ya.

Avery Albrecht shared a clip from her wedding reception in which her baby brother asked her for a dance. But Albrecht had no idea what kind of surprise the 15-year-old and her parents had in store for her. As the music begins, we hear children's voices singing—the two of them singing Phil Collins' "You'll Be in My Heart" together as children. And then the real song begins, with the bride and her brother—along with everyone watching—in a puddle.

Watch all the way to the end:

"There wasn't a dry eye in the house," Albrecht shared. There doesn't appear to be a dry eye on the internet, either.

"Stop it!! It’s 4 am in Sydney, and I'm a 43-year-old man sobbing while hiding under a blanket with my wife and 2 kids on the same bed, 😭" shared one person. "Family is the most important precious thing in the world!! ❤️"

"I went from cracking up about a stupid Hello Kitty video to sobbing in under three minutes. That must be so confusing to my central nervous system," shared another.

"I have to stop watching these things at work… people are thinking I am depressed, 😂" wrote another.

Some people shared how much it reminded them of their close sibling relationships:

"One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen. And being a much older big sister of littles (not little anymore by a long shot), I know the exact place this came from."

"I don’t know if she’ll read this but sweetheart you are so lucky! Please give your baby brother a hug for me. I lost my little brother 19 years ago this past June while I was pregnant with my first born son. I named him after him. And miss him so very much. 😢❤️"

"My little brother had a severe case of cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. He’s gone, but as I am watching this video, I can’t stop wondering what my life would be if he was healthy and still around… same about my older sister, who had also passed away. Crying my heart out now."

"Awwwwwwwe! The sweetest! You can tell how close you both are! Me and my sister are 12 years apart and she got married when I was 12 and she moved out and I had THE HARDEST time and cried almost everyday for a month!! ! I still would go over to her house and spend the night all the time… and then when she had children I became the built in babysitter for my nieces and nephew (also my fave ppl on the planet) She’s always was and still my very best friend. ♥️♥️"

Here's to the beautiful bond siblings can share, the families that nurture those bonds and this sweet brother-sister pair who gave us all the cleansing cry we needed.

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Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Photo credit: Canva

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

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Family

Daughter fulfills mom's dying wish of helping her pick the perfect wedding dress

They even made up a fiancé to make it happen.

Photo credit: Canva

Sometimes our happiest memories have a dash of sadness to them.

It was Amy Astrauskas’ dying wish was to see her daughter Emily Elizabeth Creighton in a wedding dress.

Though Creighton had no wedding plans on the horizon, she was able to help that dream come true for her mom—and managed to capture the touching moment on camera.

In a video posted to her Instagram, Creighton explained that her mom actually called a nearby bridal and lied, saying her daughter was getting married, which Creighton joked was “such a savage move.”

As they sipped champagne and answered “a million questions” about this made-up fiancé, Creighton tried on dress after dress, each more gorgeous than the last. The joy felt in the clip is palpable, to say the least.

Finally, they did indeed find the one. And it’s on hold for when and if Creighton decides to tie the knot.

“Honestly one of the funniest and saddest moments of my life,” she said “But now, even though she’s gone, I get to say she helped me to pick out my wedding dress.”

People were, understandably, moved by the entire thing.

“What a beautiful story! I’m sure it was one of the best days of her life ❤️❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Wow that’s beautiful and sad and just sums up life. ❤️”

A few even shared their own similar stories.

“I was a bridal consultant and this happened. But I knew it was her dying wish, and we did a whole bridal photo session. She ended up buying it and got married a couple of years later in that dress. One of my proudest moments as a consultant.,” one person commented.

“Me and my sweet Mumma did the same when she was dying. It’s one of my most precious memories. I have a video of her saying ‘we said yes to the dress!’ No dress was purchased 😂 I am so sorry for your loss but so happy you also shared this beautiful memory with your darling mum 🥰” wrote another.

In an interview with Today, Creighton shared that even though her mom (who died of breast cancer on March 2021 at age 63) will no longer be around to actually see the wedding, it will have all the other details she had previously conjured up. All except one tiny thing.

“The only thing that has changed is, my mom thought the person at the end of the aisle would be a man!” Creighton quipped, since she came out as gay in 2022. Still, she knows her mom would have been “totally fine with it.”

“All my mom ever wanted was for me to be happy."

What a beautiful reminder to truly savor whatever time we have on this Earth with the people who matter the most.

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Pop Culture

Man depicts what it's like to road trip with an Xennial. There are no lies detected.

His song choices make for an epic playlist.

Photo credit: Canva

Man shows what it's like to road trip with an Xennial. It's epic.

Being an Xennial is like being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. This group of people are too young to be Gen X but feel too old to be millennials. They're designated as a microgeneration, though they're constantly lumped in with millennials, hence how they got the name "Xennial." But it's this distinct characteristic that has resulted in Xennials having the some of the most eclectic music tastes out there.

Nick Harrison posted a video on social media showing what it's like to road trip with an Xennial and it's an entire vibe. The man starts the video in the car off strong jamming to "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire. The music quickly changes to "The Next Episode" by Dr. Dre causing Harrison to switch up his dance moves.

It's a cornucopia of songs that make up multiple generations of popular music and as an Xennial, he's grooving to them all, calling himself "polyjamorous." He's not alone either. The comments are full of people that knew every word, agreeing that road tripping with an Xennial is a unique experience that includes lots of seat dancing and fun.


@mrprofessor318 All over the place #genx #millennial #xennial #polyjamorous #WeRockTogether @DJ EmJaybeats ♬ original sound - DJ EmJaybeats

"YESSS!!! I also love Doja Cat and Harry Styles. I’ve said Xennials have the most rich and diverse exposure and taste in music in all of history!! I stand on that! We are unlike any other gen," someone says.

"And this is why my child has superior taste in music," another writes.

"Xennial here. Literally all of these are in my main playlist. lol," one person laughs at the realization.

"4010% correct. I’m pretty sure I have a playlist with every single one of these songs on it," another person admits.

"These are all on my 'road trip' mix. Constantly updated and perpetually giving whiplash," a commenter shares along with the universal sign for rock-and-roll.

The Xennials are living their best life through Harrison's road trip playlist with many of them asking him to share his playlist so they can easily download it. Guaranteed most of the people watching his video had "Love Shack" by the B-52's stuck in their heads for the rest of the day. Party on, Nick!

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