upworthy

podcast

Humor

I thought I knew my pal Nikki Glaser. Then she told me her ‘humiliating’ story about Dave Matthews.

My very famous friend shares some wisdom we could all take to heart.

Permission to use.

Nikki Glaser in a photoshoot.

Comedian, actress, and podcaster Nikki Glaser is a force to be reckoned with. Though she was named in Time Magazine as one of 2025's Most Influential People, her humility never lets it go to her head. She's obviously hilarious, but in a way that pushes boundaries most didn’t even know existed. As a savage roast-master, she somehow simultaneously puts people at ease while she (sweetly) says the dark things we're all thinking.

But it's herself who she roasts the hardest. She's unique and thoughtful with her approach to joke-writing, but is also not afraid to dig deep with the constant effort to better her life. She never shies away from getting truly vulnerable, making most people in the room feel like they're her best friend. Luckily, I actually can call Nikki a friend and can wholeheartedly relay that she's the kind of person who walks into a room and electrifies it. She's not only wicked-smart, but she's the kind of girl's girl who shows up, no matter how busy she is. (I recall once complaining about the Los Angeles dating pool and within five minutes, she had set me up on a blind date.) She's as solid as they come and I was thrilled to chat with her for Upworthy about some things I always wanted to know.

Upworthy: If you remember the movie Sliding Doors—if one thing had gone differently for you—what do you think you’d be doing?

Glaser: "I like to think that if my voice teacher in high school hadn’t taken my mom aside after one of our lessons and told her I had a bad voice and would never make it in musical theater, that I would have kept singing. And maybe would have been able to pursue a career in music, (not musical theater, she was probably right about that one). But I think that I just assumed she meant all singing. Now, I’m way too many years into singing improperly. I take voice lessons now, but it’s so hard to undo years of poor singing that I could have avoided if I had never given up."

- Gwyneth Paltrow, Nikki Glaser, Sliding Doors, podcats www.youtube.com

Glaser continues with the message she wishes she had received earlier, and wishes to impart on younger generations:

"In general, I think that if I had just gotten the message at a young age that talent isn’t born, it’s developed, I would have pursued more things that I thought I just didn’t 'have.' I was never someone who was naturally talented. Stand-up was literally the first thing in my entire life that I seemed to have a knack for, so I just kept doing it. I’m glad I did, but after I read the book The Talent Code in my 30s, I really understood that all I really needed to do to be talented at anything I wanted to be was put in the work.

That’s why I always try to tell kids that they can’t give up if they aren’t good at something. You can literally be better than someone who is naturally talented if you just put more hours in than they do, even if they have a huge head start. I never thought of hard work as the best talent of all. I wish that message had been instilled in me more as a kid."

Upworthy: To that point, if you had a "second dream"—anything you wanted to be at all—what would it be?

Glaser: "Besides a singer/songwriter, my true passion would have been to develop a CBD lip gloss line with H&M. JK. I mean, I’m open to it, but in general, I just wish my life’s work involved more animals. Animals are my passion, and traveling as much as I do, I don’t get to bring my dog as much as I’d like. I also would love to get a bird, but I’m never home and you can’t bring them on planes (I haven’t looked into it). That’s the only part of aging and inevitably getting edged out of show business that I’m looking forward to: I’M GONNA GO FULL BIRD LADY."

Upworthy: Is there a joke you've written that you just can't seem to make work?

Glaser: "I have a joke about how fat people are discriminated against, which is a little tricky because I am not fat. And no one wants to hear a skinny person talk about how hard it is to be fat, but at the same time, I notice it and I want fat people to understand that it’s bullshit and I see them. I’m not trying to be a hero or anything. I just know that my body and food issues stem from the way our society treats fat people and I just feel like not enough is being said about it."

- Nikki Glaser, comedian, Golden Globes, monologue, stand up comedy www.youtube.com, CBS

Upworthy: Who or what makes you consistently laugh?

Glaser: "As of late… Rachel Feinstein, David Spade, Martin Short as Jiminy Glick, Tim Robinson, and Chris Fleming. I also LOVED Jim Norton’s latest special on YouTube, UNCONCEIVABLE. And I was just texting earlier today with one of my funniest friends, comedian/writer Sean O’Connor, and we both declared that one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heard was Nick Swardson’s joke: “I took my cat to the veterinarian today because my cat had diarrhea. And the vet was like, ‘What have you been feeding him?’ and I’m like, 'diarrhea.’"

Upworthy: Why is Cecily so amazing? (JK, JK. I mean, unless you really WANT to answer.)

Glaser: You are kind, non-judgmental, hilarious, effervescent, and just one of the best all-time hangs. Not to mention, sexy and cool!

Upworthy: You have been very open about (and I hate the word journey) your "journey" with mental health. Any tips for people struggling with depression? Like if someone could do "one or two things" to help their mental health, what would you advise?

Glaser: "I would first try a free meditation app. That’s what I did when I was broke and was in desperation for any kind of relief from my negative thoughts. It really helped. I would also recommend 12-step programs. There’s one for just about everything (if you don’t have an addiction, look into the requirements to qualify for Al-Anon because that's really a catch-all). The meetings and fellowship are free and you can go on Zoom and just listen if you are scared to share. And no, you don’t have to believe in God to go."

Upworthy: Have you ever met someone else who's famous and completely freaked out?

Glaser: "Yes, I’m quite an obsessive fan of celebrities who I love, and I can never seem to keep my cool when I meet them. I was a Dave Matthews stan in high school and I met him in 2018 and I humiliated myself by saying the word “sphere” a lot. I don’t even know why. It had nothing to do with the Las Vegas Sphere. It was well before that even existed. Thank God I got to meet him a few years later and act relatively normal.

dave matthews, celebrities, celebrity crush, jam band Dave Matthews sings in his band. Giphy

My policy now with these kinds of icons is that I don’t really want to meet them. I just feel like a huge bother when I share how much they mean to me. Unless of course they are new to fame or have faded from the spotlight; then I’m happy to tell them. Like someone like Patrick Schwarzenegger. I ran into him at a party and it was right after the second episode of White Lotus season three, so I knew he wasn’t being hounded yet. I was happy to bother him and gush over how much of an incredible talent he is. As someone who’s not a huge A-lister, I get how much it means when someone tells you they like your work. But someone who is a global pop star doesn’t need me shaking and crying and telling her she saved my life. I don’t want to bother her with my anxiety. She needs to save her energy to write songs, not hug me so I stop convulsing."

Upworthy: No matter how popular you get, is there one thing about you that will never change?

Glaser: "I don’t think people really ever change. I try! I am always holding out hope that I’ll somehow conquer my imposter syndrome and overall low self-esteem. I’m about to start EMDR therapy. We’ll see how that goes! I know that some artists and comedians argue that it serves their work to be depressed or anxious, but I feel like I've already mined all of my insecurities for material in the first two decades of my career. I’d like to change into someone who’s more confident, but don’t we all? I don’t want to ever think that I’m better than anyone else, but I’d like to lose the core belief that I’m worse than others."

From Your Site Articles
comedian
HumorJoy
Parenting

'Let them be themselves': Mark Cuban’s parenting advice is surprisingly simple

Every parent should hear this.

Credit: Gage Skidmore, Flickr

Mark Cuban's estimated net worth is $5.7 billion, but he still cares about raising children with a strong work ethic.

When it comes to billionaire parenting, one thinks of pouting children, upset that their pony’s coat isn’t the right color. Or jam-packed schedules and elite boarding schools, where there are fancy plaid uniforms and everyone speaks three-to-four languages, minimum. But sometimes, the best advice comes in the simplest form, wisdom that Mark Cuban, the billionaire entrepreneur and former Shark Tank investor seems understand well.

During a recent appearance on the Your Mom’s House podcast, Cuban opened up about how he and his wife, Tiffany Stewart, tried to raise their children somewhat “normally,” despite the glaring fame, fortune, and pressure that comes with being a person like Mark. With an estimated net worth of $5.7 billion, it’d be more than easy for him to outsource parenting duties to hired professionals, or to prescribe his children a 65-year plan drawn up before they were even born. However, he explains that he and his wife decided to foster one essential trait: “Everything’s changing so rapidly, from a technological perspective, just the world in general. So, you know, just be curious,” he says. “That’s what I try to get them to do, right? Be curious so that you always want to learn something, and figure things out.”


Curiosity is overlooked as a trait to cultivate in children, yet research has shown that curiosity is an incredibly powerful trait, one that impacts learning, creativity, and success. A study conducted in 2011 found that curiosity, or a “hungry mind” is just as useful for predicting academic performance in children as intelligence and effort, writing, “Our results highlight that a “hungry mind” is a core determinant of individual differences in academic achievement.”

“And everything’s changing so rapidly—from a technology perspective, just the world in general. So just, you know, be curious. That’s what I try to get them to do, right? Be curious so that you always want to learn something, and figure things out. The more knowledge you have, the more—not power, but the more capabilities you have, and the more options are available to you.”

It even makes us feel good: our brains release dopamine and other feel-good chemicals when we encounter new experiences, places, ideas, and people. Science also shows that curiosity is associated with higher levels of positive emotions, a higher satisfaction with life, lower levels of anxiety, and greater psychological well-being.


via GIPHY


How to raise curious kids in four key principles

However, for children, embracing uncertainty and stepping out of their comfort zones might feel scary. Which is why Cuban and his wife made curiosity a high priority when raising their kids. Here are four strategies for nurturing this trait in children—and with some luck, successful adults will appear on the other end.


child, curiosity, exploration, freedom, parenting"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." Credit: Justin Peterson on Unsplash

  1. Don’t pressure them to choose careers too early. Despite society’s love of asking children “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Cuban strongly believes that expecting children to know their life’s calling at 18 or even 22 is outdated and unrealistic. “I was talking to one of my kids about college the other day, and it’s like, you don’t have to know what you’re going to be when you grow up,” he shared. “I don’t think any kid should be under the pressure at 18 or 22, when they graduate from college, to know exactly what they’re going to do.”
  2. Knowledge is power. One of the most common adages in the book, but for Cuban, it was essential that his children learned that curiosity leads to real-life skills, abilities, and talents, unlike control. “The more knowledge you have, the more—not power, but the more capabilities you have, and the more options are available to you,” he explained.
  3. Change is the only constant. Get used to it. As someone whose made billions from multiple side projects, investments, and major sports team ownership, Cuban understands better than most that life doesn’t always follow a straight and narrow path. Rather than clinging to the ways things were, Cuban encourages parents to embrace the rapidly changing world we live in. Children who are taught to adapt, pivot, and evolve will be better suited in a world where entirely new fields of work emerge constantly–and will be better equipped than their peers to handle the job market’s volatility.
  4. Let them decide their own path. Ensuring their children had the freedom to explore and discover their own interests was of the utmost importance to Cuban. Other parents might want to project an agenda onto their children, reflecting their own insecurities or need for reassurance that they’ve raised a “successful kid.” And while letting go of the reins may be scary for parents, it will be well worth it: “I want them to go on their own path,” Cuban says. “Whatever it might be, I want them to be themselves. I don’t want them to be Mark Cuban’s kid for their entire lives.”

via GIPHY

It’s clear from the interview that Cuban and his wife recognized the uniqueness and the scale of their position. At one point, when talking about his kids' future inheritances, he says, “I’ve watched Succession. I don’t want it to be like that.” And while he, like any other parent, wants their child to do well and to succeed in life, when it’s all said and done, he really just loves being a father. “My favorite word in the world is 'Dad,’” he says, smiling.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
ParentingFamily
Love Stories

Therapist explains his controversial theory: That it's normal to 'hate' your spouse

He also explains one thing everyone gets wrong when their partner is angry at them.

Canva Photos

Is it normal to hate your spouse, even in brief moments?

Marriage is hard. On your wedding day, you "know" it will be hard, and people tell you it will be hard, but you don't really fully understand. Not until you're years deep and navigating a joint life with another human being who has their own wants, desires, emotions, thoughts, and opinions.

Some people believe it's so hard because human beings aren't biologically wired for monogamy. Others believe we just don't do a good enough job of preparing ourselves for the more difficult aspects of lifelong partnership, leading to the notoriously high divorce rate.

A renowned couple's therapist named Terrence Real has been grabbing headlines with his somewhat controversial idea that could help save many relationships. He calls it "normal marital hatred."


marriage, couples, couples therapy, marriage advice, marriage tips, couples counseling, psychologist, therapist, divorceOnce the wedding day has come and gone, things get real. Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Real was recently on the Tim Ferris Podcast, where he elaborated on what he believes is a critically under-discussed aspect of relationships:.

“The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair," he says. "Closeness, disruption, and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in, how to move from disruption to repair. Our culture doesn't teach it."

Real says every couple will have moments, days, or even longer stretches of dissatisfaction, and that those feelings can be much more powerful than you might think.

“So, here's what I wanna say about disharmony: It hurts, it's dark. You can really, really feel like, 'What the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment.’ And guess what? Your partner's probably feeling that about you too.”

His concept of normal marital hatred is fascinating. It takes a shocking idea, that you could "hate" your partner, and puts it right there next to the word "normal." Internalizing the idea might seem pretty bleak to young people getting ready to settle down, but Real doesn't want people to panic or bail rather than sticking it out. Again, he says it's completely normal.

“I talk about normal marital hatred when you're in that dark phase. You hate your partner, that's okay. It's part of the deal for many of it. I've been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh my god, what? 30 years. ... It's okay, kids — don't sweat it. You can get through it. It's normal. Relax.”

Watch the whole clip here:


@timferriss

Therapist Terry Real on Normal Marital Hatred. (From my brand-new interview with Terry.) #couples #therapy

Commenters were, for the most part, in strong agreement with Real's blunt assessment.

"Hatred disappears when a person able to hold 2 truths simultaneously: I love you, I don’t like you now. Dialectical thinking"

"When people stop romanticizing relationships and realize you're relating to another autonomous human being, it's easier to understand, relate, love and also forgive."

"This is such an important topic that it's not talked about enough. Marriage is not some fairytale can't run away when you hate your partner because in a week you'll probably love them again."

"Hatred is a pretty strong word but I appreciate the concept behind the theory. My theory is space and grace. Grant each other a little space to cool down but the grace to come back and repair."

Others wondered if the term 'hatred' was really accurate, or maybe just a gimmick to make the concept more controversial and marketable:

"To me, hatred is too strong a word. I don’t hate my spouse. I often times do not like him, but I always love him. 33 years of a solid, loving marriage."

"Hatred is a brutal way to put it. Wrong word."

"I have NEVER hated my late husband of 16 years or my partner of 4 years! I have been utterly pissed at both hurt by them unclear if I can make it another day through xyz but not hate never hate"

It all begs the question: What are feelings of hatred, really?


marriage, couples, couples therapy, marriage advice, marriage tips, couples counseling, psychologist, therapist, divorceIt's normal to be upset at or even dislike your partner sometimes. Is it really normal to hate them? Photo by Mattia on Unsplash

Not to be that guy, but Merriam-Webster defines hatred as: "Extreme dislike or disgust...ill will or resentment ... prejudiced hostility or animosity"

That sounds like a dangerous combination of feelings to feel toward your partner! Dislike or disgust? Maybe, in brief doses. But many experts say that resentment and animosity are very close cousins of the infamous Four Horsemen, or communication styles that can be predictive of divorce. The Four Horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The Gottman Institute found that when these patterns show up regularly, even in just a single conversation, it often spells doom for the couple.

However, Real emphasizes that these negative feelings we might get toward our partner (the so-called hatred) are usually temporary, even appearing for just a brief moment or two.

Regardless of the terminology, Real is right about one thing: Normal, healthy marriages will have conflict and moments where partners don't like each other very much. Navigating them successfully is key.

Luckily, he has advice for that, too.

“In normal circumstances, if you’re unhappy with me, that is not the time for me to talk to you about how unhappy I am with you,” he said. “Everybody gets that wrong.”

In other words, these moments of dislike/hatred/disagreement/or whatever you want it call it should be opportunities for partners to listen to each other and not escalate the conflict into a power struggle. They are opportunities for better communication and for partners to better learn how to meet each other's needs.

Feeling that hatred is not the problem. Feeding it and allowing it to grow is what makes it really dangerous.

From Your Site Articles
marriage
Love StoriesJoy
Celebrity

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is listening to older women, and you should too

Her podcast, Wiser Than Me, is an absolute delight.

In 2015, Comedy Central premiered “one of the greatest sketches in television history,” according to Variety. The ingenious, gutsy satire starts with Tina Fey, Patricia Arquette, and Amy Schumer picnicking together in the middle of an idyllic field. It’s a momentous day: they’ve gathered to celebrate their great friend and colleague, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. You see, it’s her last f*ckable day. A whip-smart satire about Hollywood's double standard and aging, it stars an A-list ensemble of the industry's wittiest actors who absolutely skewer and outright disprove the belief that youth should be the ultimate prize. Basically, The Substance, just a decade earlier.

Now, Louis-Dreyfus is on a mission to uplift and celebrate the voices of the many iconic women who have come before her. On her podcast, Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus (launched in 2023 by Lemonada Media), she champions the women whose shoulders she has stood on; they are the pioneers who have inspired millions and forever altered the fabric of society through the use of their gifts, talent, and hard work. Most need no introduction, with guests including Jane Fonda, Patti Smith, Isabel Allende, Ina Garten, Billie Jean King, and Gloria Steinem, among others. Guided endearingly by their host, Louis-Dreyfus, these women answer every question and avoid nothing, all while remaining kind, observant, and matter-of-fact. They are, as JLD says, "wiser than her." And it doesn't take a genius to realize that we could all benefit from hearing what these incredible women have to say.


From Your Site Articles
julia louis-dreyfus
CelebrityPop Culture
Trending Stories