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Adam Grant explains that a simple tweak in how you journal can boost your motivation

"Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

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Adding contributions to a gratitude journal can help make you happier and more motivated.

Some years ago, the idea of keeping a "gratitude journal" became all the rage. Research indicates that cultivating a sense of gratitude by "counting our blessings" can make us feel happier and more satisfied with our lives, and gratitude journal is a purposeful, systematic way to do that.

Happiness is great, but what about motivation? Does gratitude journaling make you more motivated? According to organizational psychologist Adam Grant, the answer is no. But there is something else you can add to your journal to increase your motivation—contributions.

"If you just do a gratitude journal, you end up passive," Grant told the Last Neanderthals podcast. "You're reflecting on what you're fortunate to receive from others. Jane Dutton and I studied this and we found that people end up more motivated after they do 'contribution journals,' where. you think about what you did for others. Part of our motivation comes from feeling capable of making a difference."

Grant said he likes to keep a journal that includes both gratitude and contributions. "You do your gratitude list, three things I'm grateful for, and then three ways I was useful to other people as well."

As a researcher at The Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania, Grant teamed up with Jane Dutton of the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan to research how reflecting on giving and receiving impacts pro-social behavior. The question at the heart of their study was whether reflecting on receiving (gratitude) or on giving (contribution) would make a person behave in a more helpful way toward others.

gratitude journal, adam grant, motivation, contributions journalAdam Grant suggests adding contributions to your gratitude journal.Photo credit: Canva

"In field and laboratory experiments, we found that participants who reflected about giving benefits voluntarily contributed more time to their university, and were more likely to donate money to natural-disaster victims, than were participants who reflected about receiving benefits," the authors wrote. "When it comes to reflection, giving may be more powerful than receiving as a driver of prosocial behavior."

In fact, it appears that reflecting on giving becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. "Merely thinking about recent experiences of giving encourages people to give more time and money," Grant and Dutton wrote. The more we recall ways we've contributed, the more motivated we are to contribute.

volunteering, giving, motivation, adam grantVolunteering is one way to contribute.Photo credit: Canva

As it turns out, giving is also good for your mental health. According to the Mental Health Foundation, that helping others can reduce stress and improve mood, self-esteem and happiness. It's one of the ways people can build connections, which helps prevent loneliness and isolation, and can increase our sense of optimism and satisfaction.

The Mental Health Foundation shares some suggestions for people wondering how they might contribute more:

- Volunteer for a local community organization
- Offer your expertise and support as a mentor for those who are struggling
- Check-in with a neighbor
- See if there’s anything you can do to support your children’s school or nursery—offer to read stories for example
- Involve your friends and neighbors in community projects
- Offer to skill-share with a friend—you could teach guitar, dance or a new recipe
- Call a friend that you haven’t spoken to for a while
- Tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them
- Offer a listening ear to someone who simply wants to talk

helping in the garden, volunteering, being helpful, contributions journalHelping doesn't have to be complicated or elaborate.Photo credit: Canva

Contributions don't have to be huge or dramatic to be impactful, both to ourselves and others. It's not like you have to find a cure for cancer or solve international conflicts or rescue someone from a burning building to count up ways you helped others or the world. A contributions journal entry could be as simple as, "1) Helped my neighbor plant her garden. 2) Dropped a bag of food at the food bank. 3) Helped my niece with her math homework." Any way that you made someone else's day or life a little easier or better is a contribution, so don't be overly judgey of your own list.

Besides, the more you reflect on giving, according to Grant, the more giving you'll have to reflect on, so just make a start and see what happens.

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Mom finds brilliant way to tell her kids the 'truth' about Santa and other parents take notes

If you're a parent struggling how to break the news, this might help.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

How to tell your kids the truth about Santa.

"It's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime of the — OH NO, did Charlie just ask if Santa is real?!"

If you're a parent in a household that celebrates Christmas, you can likely relate to the dreaded Santa Claus conversation. It may come with tears, it may come with tantrums, and it may even be worse for you, seeing that heart-wrenching look of disappointment spread across your child's once-merry face.

It's a dilemma Charity Hutchinson of British Columbia was pondering, as a mom to two young boys and the two nephews she cares for as well.

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Hutchinson family and the truth about Santa.

Photo by Theresa Easter Photography.

One of Hutchinson's nephews raised the notorious question, telling her he no longer believed in Santa Claus.

"I felt sad because he seemed disappointed telling me his news," she explained in a message. "And in that moment I didn't know what to say to him."

Hutchinson soon stumbled upon some advice online, finding what she described as “by far the best idea I’ve seen about telling your kids about Santa."

The idea of Santa may seem frivolous to many adults, but to believe in something much bigger than yourself, only to learn you've been lied to by the people you trust most in the world? That can be a really big deal to a kid (and can possibly even create long-term trust issues for them, as one study found). The Santa conversation is one many parents understandably want to get right.

So when Hutchinson saw one of her friends on Facebook share an anonymous post detailing a strategy for breaking the news to your kids without disappointing them, she was thrilled.

Hutchinson loved the idea so much, she shared it on Facebook as well:

This is by far the best idea I've seen about telling your kids about Santa. Had to share! *********"In our family, we...
Posted by Charity Hutchinson on Tuesday, November 29, 2016

This is how it works:

1. Find a time to take your kid out, one-on-one, to a favorite spot and deliver the great news: The time has come for them to become a Santa.

"When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready. I take them out 'for coffee' at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made: 'You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too.'"

The post suggests pointing to a few different examples of how your kid has shown empathy or done something nice for another person throughout the past year. Let them know it was in those moments they proved themselves worthy of finally "becoming a Santa" themselves.

2. Assure your kid that they're ready to become a Santa because they understand the true meaning of giving (it's not just about the milk and cookies).

"You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that because they aren't ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE."

Get them talking about all the reasons they think Santa's the best. They may start out by pointing to his sleigh-riding skills or the fact he can go around the whole world in just one night. But move the conversation toward Santa being not so much of a cool person, but a cool concept that's focused on giving. Handing out presents makes the spirit of Santa a spectacular thing. Because your kid understands why giving back matters too, it's time they become a Santa themselves.

Also, "make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone," the post notes.

3. Now that they're in on the secret, have them choose someone who could really use a great gift and devise a plan to give it away — secretly, of course.

"We then have the child choose someone they know — a neighbor, usually. The child's mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it — and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving."

In the original post, the writer explains that their oldest child decided to buy a gift for a neighbor who always walked out to get the newspaper without her shoes on. Their son spied on the neighbor one day from the bushes to estimate her shoe size — he predicted she wore mediums — and then slipped a pair of slippers under her driveway gate one evening with a note "from Santa." The following morning, the neighbor was spotted wearing the slippers. Their son was ecstatic.

4. Remind them that being a Santa is top-secret business. And that, next year, they can carry on with their selfless Santa duties once again.

"I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did or he wouldn't be a Santa. Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them."

One year, for instance, he polished up a bike for a family friend's daughters. The writer's son was just as over the moon about giving the gift as the daughters were about receiving it.

In a little over a week, Hutchinson's post has racked up thousands of Likes and shares, with plenty of thankful parents chiming in in the comments.

"I never imagined it would be so popular!" Hutchinson explains. "I mean, it felt special when I read it and completely gave me goosebumps, but I didn't realize it would go this far."

Where the original post came from is still somewhat of a mystery. As The Huffington Post reported, it seems to have first cropped up in 2007 in an online forum. Ever since, the idea has floated around the web here and there, but has only made waves recently with Hutchinson's post going viral.

The secret of being a Santa, so to speak, has already worked its holiday magic on Hutchinson's once-suspicious nephew.

Filling him in on becoming a Santa was an instant game-changer, she says.

"His eyes lit right up," she writes. "That excitement and joy returned to him and he couldn't stop asking me questions! ... Instantly I could see the wheels were turning and he started planning who his special target would be and what he would get them and how he'd pull it off."

Hutchinson is happy her simple Facebook post has turned into something so special. "It isn't just a nice way to break the news to your kids," she writes. "But it really teaches them about the true meaning of Christmas and how you should always give to others."


This article originally appeared on 12.09.16

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Retired U.S. Marine raises more than $88,000 to give tornado-devastated kids a real Christmas

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Shawn Triplett is raising money to make sure kids impacted by the tornado in Mayfield, KY have the best Christmas they can.

When a historic tornado ripped through the town of Mayfield, Kentucky earlier this month, it left utter devastation in its wake. Drone footage of the damage reveals an apocalyptic scene, with much of the town completely flattened. It's a level of destruction that's difficult to fathom, much less to live through.

The tornadoes hit eight states, with most of the damage in Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri and Kentucky. (The National Weather Service has confirmed 66 tornadoes from December 10 and 11, including the Mayfield tornado, which alone spanned a path of 165 miles.) Thankfully, people of goodwill have rallied around those in locations along the path of the tornadoes.

One of those people of goodwill is a retired U.S. Marine named Shawn Triplett. He's from Mayfield himself, but told CNN he was in Chicago when the tornado hit. He's served tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan and said what he saw in the tornado aftermath was worse than a war zone.

"I was deployed to the Middle East three times and I've never seen anything like it," he said. "It's devastating to witness and it humbles you into being thankful for all that you have... "

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Triplett was volunteering at a local shelter after the tornado when he overheard a heartbreaking conversation between a mother and child.

"I saw a child, no older than 6 years old, crying in his mother's arms," he told PEOPLE. "She was crying too, but you could tell she was doing her best to look strong. The boy told his mom, 'I've lost my Christmas.' It was at that moment that I broke down and had to walk outside."

"It gut-punched me and hurt," he continued. "I felt actual pain at that moment. I tried to sleep that night but I couldn't. The pain in that kid's voice broke me in half. I had to do something about it."

The devastation in Mayfield, Kentucky is difficult to fathom.

State Farm/Wikimedia Commons

That "something" started off as a modest initiative to raise money to buy some dozen or so kids some Christmas presents. He asked friends and family to donate to help kids who lost everything.

"I was going to give them back their Christmas. That was my mission," he told PEOPLE. "There was so much support in the community for water, generators and food, but nobody was thinking about the kids. At least, not in the way it should be, so close to Christmas."

Triplett took $2000 he'd collected and filled carts full of toys at Walmart. The next day, after more money from friends and strangers came in, he went back for more.

"It just really blew my mind," he told CNN. "The support has just been astronomical."

But it got even better than that.

Triplett started a GoFundMe with an initial goal of $10,000, but when it started being shared on social media, the amount skyrocketed. As of the writing of this article, the total is up to more than $88,000.

"Our original goal was to support 30 kids, but because of the GoFundMe, we're able to reach hundreds of kids — and that's my biggest joy, being able to give these kids so much," he adds. "The support has been humbling and overwhelmingly incredible."

"I’m going to Walmart daily to buy truck loads of toys," Triplett wrote in the GoFundMe page description. "Walmart has also agreed to provide a 25% discount on all purchases for us. We’re then going to gift wrap the toys, I’ll dress up as Santa, and we’ll hand the toys out to kids most in need. So far we’ve raised $10,000 independently but with the help of this go fund me we’ll raise even more. I’d like to point out that 100% of all funds raised will be used in the purchase of toys. There is no overhead costs and all extra costs will be funded by me personally."

Thanks to Triplett and generous donors from around the world, the kids of Mayfield will have a merrier Christmas than they probably imagined possible a week ago. What a beautiful example of what a person can do when they put their heart and energy into helping others and rally other people of goodwill to join them.

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20 'worthy' jewelry gift ideas from artisans around the world

As we approach this holiday season, you may be on the look-out for some great gifts for the loved ones in your life. To help you with your search, we've handpicked a list of "worthy" jewelry gift ideas. What makes them worthy? First, they are from our very own Upworthy Market, a place to shop for great hand-crafted artisan gifts. At the Upworthy Market, every purchase you make directly supports artisans from around the world. It's a great place to buy interesting items and support the people who created them in the process—a win-win!

These gift ideas are also worthy because each one is a unique, beautiful piece of jewelry—like the Balinese cocktail pearl ring, or the stylish anklet or the millefiori blossom watch made of Murano glass from Venice. Whether you're looking for the perfect pair of earrings for your mom or cannot seem to figure out a quality gift for a friend, this list will help you find the right present for the jewelry lover in your life.

1. Oval Jade Ring

Evoking the ancient Maya, this beautiful and simple solitaire ring is crowned by an oval of apple green Guatemalan jade. This stunning accessory is designed by Zandra Lorena Sajbin, who crafts the ring with a band of sterling silver.

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2. Paradise Palms Necklace

A dreamy tropical paradise with untouched white sand beaches and crystalline lagoons is perfectly symbolized by the twin palms of this pendant necklace from Aoy of Thailand. Artisan crafted from sterling silver, the pendant shines with a high polish finish while the hints of dark oxidation enhance the palms' details. A ball chain with a spring-ring clasp completes the necklace.

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3. Elephant Hook Earrings

Petite elephants are carefully carved of smooth white cow bone by artisan Made Wardika of Bali. The pachyderms swing from sterling silver hooks.

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4. Wave Motif Band Ring

Featuring curving wave patterns, this nautical band ring is designed by Balinese artisan Asmara Putra. He crafts the ring of sterling silver bathed in 18 karat gold, given a high-polish finish.

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5. Twin Dolphin Necklaces

Sleek and agile, twin dolphins leap and play on this pendant necklace presented by Andi Rachmansyah in Bali. The pendant is hand-carved from smooth cow bone and centered on a black cotton cord of adjustable length.

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    6.Pearl Cocktail Ring

    Crowned by an orb of cultured pearl with soft, dyed-pink hues, this Balinese cocktail ring brings a sweet beauty wherever it goes. Designed by Buana, the band is handcrafted of sterling silver with jepun, or frangipani flowers that flank the pearl.

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    7. Flower Stud Earrings

    Hand-carved from bone, two jepun, otherwise known as frangipani flowers, adorn the ears. Balinese artisan Made Wardika creates these stud earrings, adorning the wearer on posts of sterling silver.

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    8. White Turtle Necklace

    A young turtle swims peacefully in cool waters in this unique hand-carved white pendant. Made Wardika of Bali presents this pendant carefully crafted from bone and hung on a dark brown leather cord. This pendant necklace features a sliding knot for adjustable length.

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    9. Kanji Sterling Silver Necklace

    Hanzi are characters used in Chinese writing. As early as the sixth century A.D., many of these characters began to be simplified and adopted into Japanese writing, where they're known as kanji, a term that is more widely used in the West. Artisans in Yiwu, China, create these pendants by using sterling silver and the lost-wax casting method. Each character emulates the sweeping brushstrokes of traditional calligraphy. Choose based on birth month, favorite color, or simply the symbol that resonates with you most.


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    10. Lotus Band Ring

    Realized in darkly oxidized relief, the image of a single lotus flower is featured on this band ring from Bali. Asmara Putra designed the ring, crafted of sterling silver.

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    11.Music Note Stud Earrings

    The sol key, also known as the G-clef, is masterfully designed into button earrings by Thai artisan Wadarat Supasirisuk. Perfect for the music aficionado, these clever post earrings are crafted in sterling silver with polished and oxidized finishes for contrast.

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    12. Toe Ring

    Depicted in low relief, three sterling elephants march around a silver band. Wadarat Supasirisuk presents this toe ring that shows the purposeful pachyderms in silhouette.

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    13. Infinity Stud Earrings

    Highly polished sterling silver takes the shape of the infinity symbol in these stud earrings from Wadarat Supasirisuk of Thailand. The petite earrings rest on sterling posts.

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    14. Lizard Totem Necklace

    Realistically carved by hand, a small lizard graces this unique artisan-crafted necklace. Made Wardika displays the Balinese reptile on a cord of dark brown leather.

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    15. Fish Stud Earrings

    Commemorating the Age of Aquarius as well as the return of Christ, these symbolic stud earrings are presented by Wadarat Supasirisuk. Thai artisans craft the earrings from sterling silver, featuring the simple and iconic image of a fish.

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      16. Dragon Pendant Necklace

      Framed by the image of a dragon biting its tail, the iconic symbol for the meditative mantra om is realized in high-polish sterling silver. Shivani Choudhary designed this bold and meditative Indian pendant necklace, which is crafted by local artisans.

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      17. Celestial Necklace

      Designed by Vivek Nathany in India, this necklace adds a celestial beauty to any wardrobe. This fantastic necklace circles the neck with two lengths of 22 karat gold-plated sterling silver cable chain; one chain is decorated with star charms while the other is centered by a majestic crescent moon pendant.

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      18. Elephant Charm Anklet

      Tiraphan Hasub crafts a stylish anklet, centering bright brass beads with colorful agate. Symbol of old Siam, an elephant graces this original design. Jingling bells form the clasp, and the anklet is adjustable in length.

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      19. Black Braid Bracelet

      Braided by hand, strands of black leather encircle the wrist in a bracelet for men. Chaloemphon adds ivory and dark brown beads carved of bone to this design. The length can be adjusted by sliding the knot along the cord.

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      20. Blossom Watch

      More than a dozen delicate slivers of Murano millefiori decorate the face of this gold-plated watch. Made in Murano, an island within Venice, Italy, that has been home to master glassmakers since the 13th century, millefiori are created by fusing multicolored glass canes, stretching them to the thinnest possible diameter, and then slicing them to reveal cross-sections that look like flower blossoms. The watch features a snakeskin-textured leather band.

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