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Mom with adopted kids shares why low-income children deserve high-quality items from toy drives

"Children should never have to pay for the mistakes of their parents.”

via Canva/Photos

A child receives a gift at a toy drive.

A TikTok user named Annie made a thought-provoking post on October 28, 2024, asking people to consider holiday toy drives from the perspective of those receiving gifts. This resulted in some pushback from those who believe the recipients should be happy just to get a gift. However, Annie understands the perspective of those who receive gifts during holiday toy drives because she adopted three of her four children and once lived in a children’s home.

“I think there's an idea, a concept, that people who are low-income should just be grateful for whatever they receive. Whatever we give them, they should be thankful for it. Whatever gifts kids have to open they should just be thankful for it because we gave it to them,” she said. “If you have not been on the receiving end of some of that, you may not have a full understanding of what that looks like.”

She urged people to buy quality toys for children because low-cost gifts may bring them more heartache than joy. Annie says many kids are disappointed when they get the “Dollar Store Barbie” that breaks in 24 hours while being told to be grateful for the gift.

“That is about the giver feeling good and not about the receiver. If we're going to buy things for people for Christmas, if we are going to donate to toy drives, if we are going to adopt a family, if we're if we're going to take that step of empathy and compassion can we fully consider the people we are purchasing for and what matters to them?” she asked.

@mom.behind.the.scenes
This applies x10000 to children in foster care. The expectation of gratitude isnt an appropriate way to give. #gratitude #holidays #adoptafamily #charity

Annie received angry comments from people who disagreed with her post, saying, “Nah beggars can’t be choosers boo” and “If you’re not teaching your children gratitude, you’re teaching them entitlement.”

However, many supported her belief that low-income kids shouldn’t be treated as second-class citizens. “I volunteered somewhere once that had a motto of quality = dignity, and I think of that a lot,” one commenter wrote. “Oh, I like that,” Annie responded.

Annie returned with a follow-up video a little less than a month later, sharing an important point about when she was a child asking for toy drive gifts. “None of us were asking strangers for those gifts,” she said about her time in a children’s home. We were asking Santa or a church or angels.”

@mom.behind.the.scenes
Replying to @🌼daayyysiiiiᏔ⃝ “These kids are not asking hard-working people for money. They’re asking miracle workers, imaginary beings that can produce anything. We are asking the children in need not be able to believe in Santa.” #angeltree #christmas #mutualaid #donate #community

Ultimately, Annie’s post was about protecting the innocence and dreams of children, which can be a real challenge for those who are low-income or in the foster care system. “Children that just ask for the bare minimum are children who no longer have the ability to dream,” she said. “These kids are not asking hard-working people for money. They're asking miracle workers, imaginary beings that can produce anything because that's what we teach them. We're asking the children in need to not believe in Santa. There's really no beauty in a child not asking for something.”

She ended the video by stating that children in need should still be able to dream, just as she did.

“I'm sobbing thinking back to my children being young and in need, back to that children's home I lived in and I wonder did those people that donated to me did they complain that these children in this children's home wanted BMX bikes and Cabbage Patch dolls and ventriloquist dummies?” Annie asked. “Did they call our parents names? Did they call us greedy and selfish? I really hope that wasn't the case and I don't think it was. But children should never have to pay for the mistakes of their parents.”

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Janitor and cook stayed to care for residents when nursing home shut down and staff left

Maurice Rowland and Miguel Alvarez refused to abandon the residents who got left behind in the "chaotic mass evacuation."

Image by Carola68 The world is colorful...... from Pixabay

When a nursing home shut down, the janitor and cook stayed with the remaining residents.

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There are certain moments in life that determine your character. This was definitely one of those moments for Maurice Rowland and Miguel Alvarez.

Rowland was working as a cook and Alvarez as a janitor at an assisted living facility when suddenly they found out that the facility was going to close.

The Valley Springs Manor assisted-living facility was shut down by the California Department of Social Service in October of 2013, prompting a "chaotic mass evacuation" of staff and residents. Staff left because they weren't getting paid, but Rowland and Alvarez stuck around. There were around 16 residents left at the home with nowhere to go and nobody to take care of them. Some of them were sick and bedridden and some had dementia.

Rowland and Alvarez, who have been friends since middle school, had a conversation about what they were going to do. They decided they couldn't in good conscience abandon the residents who were left behind, so for the next several days they stayed and cared for them, making sure they were bathed and fed and got their medications—all without pay.

"I just couldn't see myself going home," Rowland said. "Next thing you know they're in the kitchen trying to cook their own food and burn the place down."

Alvarez said he would go home for one hour a day to take a shower and get dressed and then head back to the facility. His wife was upset at first because he missed a planned family trip during that time, so she drove to the center to see what was more important than time with her and their kids. What she found when she arrived left her "heartbroken," she told SF Gate.

Alvarez told StoryCorps that he'd been abandoned by his parents when he was young and knew how them leaving would make the residents feel. "I didn't want them to go through that," he said.

"If I would have left, I think that would've been on my conscience for a very long time," Rowland added.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The facility had a history of regulatory violations and inadequate care that led to the shut down, but the transition for the residents who needed to be transferred to other facilities was fumbled by the authorities.

"“The Department fell short of its mission to protect the health and safety of residents in Valley Springs Manor,” the Department of Social Services said in a statement after the fact. “The Division erred in not ensuring, through successful engagement with local partners, that relocation arrangements for all of the residents were complete.”

When one resident started to deteriorate, Rowland and Alvarez called 911, which alerted authorities to the situation the men and residents were in. A proper evacuation of residents then began, relieving the men of the duty they'd taken on to care for people who had no one else.

"Even though they wasn't our family, they were kind of like our family for this short period of time," said Rowland.

According to SF Gate, Rowland and Alvarez were honored for their sacrificial service with an award from the American Veterans Association, a certificate of special recognition from Rep. Eric Swalwell's office a commendation from the California Legislature, and a wave of donations from people who were inspired by their selflessness.

""We didn't expect any of this," Alvarez said. "We've never expected anything from anyone in life."

They may not have expected anything, but their big-heartedness paid off not only in recognition and financial support, but in the satisfaction of putting other people's humanity before themselves.

This story originally appeared on 9.29.16 It has since been updated.

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Family

Mom finds brilliant way to tell her kids the 'truth' about Santa and other parents take notes

If you're a parent struggling how to break the news, this might help.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

How to tell your kids the truth about Santa.

"It's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime of the — OH NO, did Charlie just ask if Santa is real?!"

If you're a parent in a household that celebrates Christmas, you can likely relate to the dreaded Santa Claus conversation. It may come with tears, it may come with tantrums, and it may even be worse for you, seeing that heart-wrenching look of disappointment spread across your child's once-merry face.

It's a dilemma Charity Hutchinson of British Columbia was pondering, as a mom to two young boys and the two nephews she cares for as well.

Hutchinson family and the truth about Santa.

Photo by Theresa Easter Photography.

One of Hutchinson's nephews raised the notorious question, telling her he no longer believed in Santa Claus.

"I felt sad because he seemed disappointed telling me his news," she explained in a message. "And in that moment I didn't know what to say to him."

Hutchinson soon stumbled upon some advice online, finding what she described as “by far the best idea I’ve seen about telling your kids about Santa."

The idea of Santa may seem frivolous to many adults, but to believe in something much bigger than yourself, only to learn you've been lied to by the people you trust most in the world? That can be a really big deal to a kid (and can possibly even create long-term trust issues for them, as one study found). The Santa conversation is one many parents understandably want to get right.

So when Hutchinson saw one of her friends on Facebook share an anonymous post detailing a strategy for breaking the news to your kids without disappointing them, she was thrilled.

Hutchinson loved the idea so much, she shared it on Facebook as well:

This is by far the best idea I've seen about telling your kids about Santa. Had to share! *********"In our family, we...
Posted by Charity Hutchinson on Tuesday, November 29, 2016

This is how it works:

1. Find a time to take your kid out, one-on-one, to a favorite spot and deliver the great news: The time has come for them to become a Santa.

"When they are 6 or 7, whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being, that means the child is ready. I take them out 'for coffee' at the local wherever. We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made: 'You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too.'"

The post suggests pointing to a few different examples of how your kid has shown empathy or done something nice for another person throughout the past year. Let them know it was in those moments they proved themselves worthy of finally "becoming a Santa" themselves.

2. Assure your kid that they're ready to become a Santa because they understand the true meaning of giving (it's not just about the milk and cookies).

"You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that because they aren't ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE."

Get them talking about all the reasons they think Santa's the best. They may start out by pointing to his sleigh-riding skills or the fact he can go around the whole world in just one night. But move the conversation toward Santa being not so much of a cool person, but a cool concept that's focused on giving. Handing out presents makes the spirit of Santa a spectacular thing. Because your kid understands why giving back matters too, it's time they become a Santa themselves.

Also, "make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone," the post notes.

3. Now that they're in on the secret, have them choose someone who could really use a great gift and devise a plan to give it away — secretly, of course.

"We then have the child choose someone they know — a neighbor, usually. The child's mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it — and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn't about getting credit, you see. It's unselfish giving."

In the original post, the writer explains that their oldest child decided to buy a gift for a neighbor who always walked out to get the newspaper without her shoes on. Their son spied on the neighbor one day from the bushes to estimate her shoe size — he predicted she wore mediums — and then slipped a pair of slippers under her driveway gate one evening with a note "from Santa." The following morning, the neighbor was spotted wearing the slippers. Their son was ecstatic.

4. Remind them that being a Santa is top-secret business. And that, next year, they can carry on with their selfless Santa duties once again.

"I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did or he wouldn't be a Santa. Over the years, he chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them."

One year, for instance, he polished up a bike for a family friend's daughters. The writer's son was just as over the moon about giving the gift as the daughters were about receiving it.

In a little over a week, Hutchinson's post has racked up thousands of Likes and shares, with plenty of thankful parents chiming in in the comments.

"I never imagined it would be so popular!" Hutchinson explains. "I mean, it felt special when I read it and completely gave me goosebumps, but I didn't realize it would go this far."

Where the original post came from is still somewhat of a mystery. As The Huffington Post reported, it seems to have first cropped up in 2007 in an online forum. Ever since, the idea has floated around the web here and there, but has only made waves recently with Hutchinson's post going viral.

The secret of being a Santa, so to speak, has already worked its holiday magic on Hutchinson's once-suspicious nephew.

Filling him in on becoming a Santa was an instant game-changer, she says.

"His eyes lit right up," she writes. "That excitement and joy returned to him and he couldn't stop asking me questions! ... Instantly I could see the wheels were turning and he started planning who his special target would be and what he would get them and how he'd pull it off."

Hutchinson is happy her simple Facebook post has turned into something so special. "It isn't just a nice way to break the news to your kids," she writes. "But it really teaches them about the true meaning of Christmas and how you should always give to others."

This article originally appeared on 12.09.16

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Wellness

Retired U.S. Marine raises more than $88,000 to give tornado-devastated kids a real Christmas

State Farm/Wikimedia Commons

Shawn Triplett is raising money to make sure kids impacted by the tornado in Mayfield, KY have the best Christmas they can.

When a historic tornado ripped through the town of Mayfield, Kentucky earlier this month, it left utter devastation in its wake. Drone footage of the damage reveals an apocalyptic scene, with much of the town completely flattened. It's a level of destruction that's difficult to fathom, much less to live through.

The tornadoes hit eight states, with most of the damage in Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri and Kentucky. (The National Weather Service has confirmed 66 tornadoes from December 10 and 11, including the Mayfield tornado, which alone spanned a path of 165 miles.) Thankfully, people of goodwill have rallied around those in locations along the path of the tornadoes.

One of those people of goodwill is a retired U.S. Marine named Shawn Triplett. He's from Mayfield himself, but told CNN he was in Chicago when the tornado hit. He's served tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan and said what he saw in the tornado aftermath was worse than a war zone.

"I was deployed to the Middle East three times and I've never seen anything like it," he said. "It's devastating to witness and it humbles you into being thankful for all that you have... "

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Triplett was volunteering at a local shelter after the tornado when he overheard a heartbreaking conversation between a mother and child.

"I saw a child, no older than 6 years old, crying in his mother's arms," he told PEOPLE. "She was crying too, but you could tell she was doing her best to look strong. The boy told his mom, 'I've lost my Christmas.' It was at that moment that I broke down and had to walk outside."

"It gut-punched me and hurt," he continued. "I felt actual pain at that moment. I tried to sleep that night but I couldn't. The pain in that kid's voice broke me in half. I had to do something about it."

The devastation in Mayfield, Kentucky is difficult to fathom.

State Farm/Wikimedia Commons

That "something" started off as a modest initiative to raise money to buy some dozen or so kids some Christmas presents. He asked friends and family to donate to help kids who lost everything.

"I was going to give them back their Christmas. That was my mission," he told PEOPLE. "There was so much support in the community for water, generators and food, but nobody was thinking about the kids. At least, not in the way it should be, so close to Christmas."

Triplett took $2000 he'd collected and filled carts full of toys at Walmart. The next day, after more money from friends and strangers came in, he went back for more.

"It just really blew my mind," he told CNN. "The support has just been astronomical."

But it got even better than that.

#NewProfilePicpic.twitter.com/4kYKIGM3jt
— \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\u2b50Shawn Triplett\u2b50\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\u2b50Shawn Triplett\u2b50\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1639525128

Triplett started a GoFundMe with an initial goal of $10,000, but when it started being shared on social media, the amount skyrocketed. As of the writing of this article, the total is up to more than $88,000.

"Our original goal was to support 30 kids, but because of the GoFundMe, we're able to reach hundreds of kids — and that's my biggest joy, being able to give these kids so much," he adds. "The support has been humbling and overwhelmingly incredible."

"I’m going to Walmart daily to buy truck loads of toys," Triplett wrote in the GoFundMe page description. "Walmart has also agreed to provide a 25% discount on all purchases for us. We’re then going to gift wrap the toys, I’ll dress up as Santa, and we’ll hand the toys out to kids most in need. So far we’ve raised $10,000 independently but with the help of this go fund me we’ll raise even more. I’d like to point out that 100% of all funds raised will be used in the purchase of toys. There is no overhead costs and all extra costs will be funded by me personally."

Thanks to Triplett and generous donors from around the world, the kids of Mayfield will have a merrier Christmas than they probably imagined possible a week ago. What a beautiful example of what a person can do when they put their heart and energy into helping others and rally other people of goodwill to join them.

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20 'worthy' jewelry gift ideas from artisans around the world

As we approach this holiday season, you may be on the look-out for some great gifts for the loved ones in your life. To help you with your search, we've handpicked a list of "worthy" jewelry gift ideas. What makes them worthy? First, they are from our very own Upworthy Market, a place to shop for great hand-crafted artisan gifts. At the Upworthy Market, every purchase you make directly supports artisans from around the world. It's a great place to buy interesting items and support the people who created them in the process—a win-win!

These gift ideas are also worthy because each one is a unique, beautiful piece of jewelry—like the Balinese cocktail pearl ring, or the stylish anklet or the millefiori blossom watch made of Murano glass from Venice. Whether you're looking for the perfect pair of earrings for your mom or cannot seem to figure out a quality gift for a friend, this list will help you find the right present for the jewelry lover in your life.

1. Oval Jade Ring

Evoking the ancient Maya, this beautiful and simple solitaire ring is crowned by an oval of apple green Guatemalan jade. This stunning accessory is designed by Zandra Lorena Sajbin, who crafts the ring with a band of sterling silver.