Parents are sharing the one thing that surprised them the most about having kids
"I genuinely didn't believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours."
There are so many things that can catch you off guard as a parent.
Becoming a parent is simultaneously one of the most rewarding and terrifying life experiences a person can have. And try as you may, no matter how many books or blogs you read, there's really no way to fully prepare for the ongoing reality of parenting. There's always something you didn't expect or account for, some surprise child-rearing delight or horror that catches you off guard.
Parents on X are sharing the one thing that most caught them by surprise about parenting and it's a treasure trove of "What to Expect" wisdom and experience that might—might—help prospective or new parents feel a little bit more prepared.
The thread started off with @realgirl_fieri posing the question and sharing her own unexpected parenting plot twist.
"What is one parenting thing that caught you completely by surprise?" she asked. "I was prepared for sleeplessness, tantrums, picky eating. But I genuinely didn’t believe until I saw it with my own two eyes just how hard it is to find childcare that fully covers your working hours."
Other parents hopped right on in with surprises that run the gamut from food to sensory overload to kids' hilarity.
Let's start with sleep. We all know to expect to be tired with babies, but until you're in the thick of it with a baby who really doesn't sleep well, you don't know how life-altering it can be. There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique, after all.
@Hardley76 @realgirl_fieri I spent 4 years with such severe sleep deprivation I was literally hallucinating. It's actually the theme of the next thriller I'm writing. I was prepared for "tired" - I never imagined how much it would break me. Not enough support out there. 13 years later I'm still not over it— (@)
Some parents were taken aback by having less socialization than they expected.
"Honestly, I thought I'd see my friends with kids more," shared one mom. "My two best friends had babies when I did in 2022. I’ve seen each twice. I thought we’d be together all the time," offered another.
"I thought there would be more play dates," agreed another. "Maybe we’re just not there yet, but with work, school, life it just doesn’t happen? Sometimes with my friends with kids but rarely with friends from school."
Some have been surprised by how true the stereotype of Mom always having her meal interrupted can be. When kids are little, it's shocking how many times you find yourself getting up from the dinner table, even when you think you had everything ready to go.
"The line from A Christmas Story resonates," shared one commenter, "watching his mom getting up/down at dinner and Ralphie narrates 'My mother had not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.'"
And then there's the not really getting to sit down at all part due to snacks, spills, finding things, breaking up fights, etc. And when you finally do sit, you immediately becoming a lap to sit on or a climbing apparatus.
Some parents were surprised by the number and variety of toys and the noise that came with them. "Nobody told me there would be so much smashing and crashing of toys," wrote one parent. Others were amazed by how quickly you become overrun with toys even when you don't buy any. It's like they just appear out of thin air.
Others offered up the out-of-left-field, unexpectedly-expensive need for berries. All the berries. So. Many. Berries.
As one dad shared, "One of the most ernest pieces of advice I got from a friend with two toddlers was to never introduce your children to blueberries. They are so expensive and children will eat an unlimited amount. They will bankrupt you."
On the up side, kids can also be delightfully bright and rip-roaring hilarious right from the get go.
@andeholmes @realgirl_fieri Yes! My brother was trying to get my son (6mo) to smile and asked me how I make him laugh. I very seriously said "oh just act like you are going to eat his hand, he thinks that's hilarious" and my brother was confused then delighted when he tried it and my son laughed. \u2764\ufe0f\ud83d\ude02— (@)
And then there's the sheer relentlessness of it all and the constant space your beloved children take up in your psyche.
"You're never alone, never off duty, never just responsible for yourself, never just thinking about yourself and your wants/ needs," shared one parent. "This is the one," agreed another. "I haven't been alone for any meaningful period of time in eight years."
Even if you manage to carve out some time for yourself, you're never not thinking about your children in some part of your mind, and your parental instincts are always "on."
It's good to share these things as parents so we know we're not alone and so that people becoming parents aren't totally blindsided. No matter how much people tell you, there will certainly be some things you still weren't prepared for, so anything that makes prepping for parenting even a tiny bit easier is worth sharing.
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Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids… 
Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros. 
Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie? 
A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain. Photo by 
Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
Ladybug unexpectedly found during colonoscopyPhoto credit: 
Close-up of bottom of ladybug found in colonPhoto credit: 
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."