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Mom bluntly lists the things she thought she'd enjoy as a parent but absolutely hates

Not everything about parenting is magical.

parenting, newborns, family, kids
@sadbeige/TikTok

Not everything about parenting is magical.

Parenting comes with lots of magical moments, unlocking a newfound sense of joy, love, wonder and purpose with each completed milestone. However, as any parent would tell you, it’s not a never-ending Disney movie. Far from it. In fact, many of the things parents thought they would enjoy the most about raising a family can end up being the thing they dread the most.

That’s why so many parents are loving Hayley DeRoche’s now-viral TikTok listing all those things she thought she’d love as a mom that turned out to be…a living hell, to put it mildly. As a comedy writer, DeRoche (aka “That Sad Beige Lady”) knows how to deliver some ultra relatable content in a hilariously deadpan way.

“A list of things I thought I would enjoy as a parent that actually I do not,” she says at the top of her video. “These are jokes…for legal reasons.”

First thing on DeRoche’s list of disappointments? Family dinner.


“I thought it would be a lovely bonding experience at the end of the day. Jokes on me because it is not,” she jokes. “Imagine inviting multiple wild mongoose to your dinner table. They're ravenous, but they are also immediately full because they do not like what has been placed on the table.”

“Also, they have no bones—just flopping right out of those seats. I don't know why you even have seats, honestly. Do you get to enjoy your meal at least? No. No, you don't,” she adds.

@sadbeige #parenting #parentingfail #fyp ♬ original sound - That Sad Beige Lady

Vacations are equally disappointing. “Did you know that once you have children, vacations are just ‘trips’?” DeRoche asks. Yes, I think many parents have come to know this truth the hard way.

“You will be vacating your sanity,” she jokes. “Otherwise all of the normal frustrations of parenting will be coming with you. In fact, that's probably the only thing that does get packed.”

DeRoche attests that the only true relaxation you might be lucky enough to get is “between the hours of 10 and 11 p.m.” but odds are you’ll just collapse on the bed from exhaustion, and you’ll happily take the rest because “you're gonna need it.”

Nope, not even hiking is what DeRoche thought it would be, which apparently moves at an even slower-than-glacial pace thanks to the kiddos.

“I have had some success with the Hansel and Gretel method where you take some of your trail mix and you just drop it along behind you ,and the child will eventually catch up because they want to catch up to the M&Ms. But yeah, otherwise, do not recommend,” she quips.

Also, “reading anything out loud”…not enjoyable, apparently. Though DeRoche is happy she’s passed her love of graphic novels down to her kid, lately they’ve been into reading the graphic novel “Dog Man” out loud.

This, DeRoche explains, means that all one hears is the dialogue really, since it’s basically a more nuanced picture book. Hearing dialogue with zero context “is confusing for everyone involved, including me, frankly. It's just, I don't know, it's not enjoyable."

“I don’t wanna burn books, okay? But the thought has crossed my mind,” she says.

Last but not least—and not gonna lie, this one stings a bit—is baking. Rather than a wholesome, Hallmark-worthy activity, DeRoche likened it to “A flour factory exploding in your house.”

Did this video resonate with other parents? You betcha. Many chimed in with their own rude awakenings.

“I spent my entire pregnancy and the 1st year of my son's life looking forward to spending time in the kitchen together. I hate it so so much,” one mom wrote.

“I thought I would love chaperoning field trips. NOPE,” added another.

With all the less-than-glamorous aspects of parenting, it’s no wonder that more and more people are opting out. Needless to say, raising a family is a big commitment, and many don’t view it as the ultimate outlet for happiness. Honestly, all life decisions come with pros and cons. All we can do is try to go for whatever we think will bring us the most fulfillment, and try to appreciate what manifests.

Even with family dinners, hiking, vacations and baking being ruined, DeRoche confirms that she still wouldn’t trade it for the world. In her words, she doesn’t really “hate it as a whole recipe…just some ingredients.”

By the way, there’s a part two to DeRoche’s list of parenting things she does not actually enjoy, which you can find here.

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10 anti-holiday recipes that prove the season can be tasty and healthy

Balance out heavy holiday eating with some lighter—but still delicious—fare.

Albertson's

Lighten your calorie load with some delicious, nutritious food between big holiday meals.

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The holiday season has arrived with its cozy vibe, joyous celebrations and inevitable indulgences. From Thanksgiving feasts to Christmas cookie exchanges to Aunt Eva’s irresistible jelly donuts—not to mention leftover Halloween candy still lingering—fall and winter can feel like a non-stop gorge fest.

Total resistance is fairly futile—let’s be real—so it’s helpful to arm yourself with ways to mitigate the effects of eating-all-the-things around the holidays. Serving smaller amounts of rich, celebratory foods and focusing on slowly savoring the taste is one way. Another is to counteract those holiday calorie-bomb meals with some lighter fare in between.

Contrary to popular belief, eating “light” doesn’t have to be tasteless, boring or unsatisfying. And contrary to common practice, meals don’t have to fill an entire plate—especially when we’re trying to balance out heavy holiday eating.

It is possible to enjoy the bounties of the season while maintaining a healthy balance. Whether you prefer to eat low-carb or plant-based or gluten-free or everything under the sun, we’ve got you covered with these 10 easy, low-calorie meals from across the dietary spectrum.

Each of these recipes has less than 600 calories (most a lot less) per serving and can be made in less than 30 minutes. And Albertsons has made it easy to find O Organics® ingredients you can put right in your shopping cart to make prepping these meals even simpler.

Enjoy!

eggs and green veggies in a skillet, plate of baconNot quite green eggs and ham, but closeAlbertsons

Breakfast Skillet of Greens, Eggs & Ham

273 calories | 20 minutes

Ingredients:

1 (5 oz) pkg baby spinach

2 eggs

1 clove garlic

4 slices prosciutto

1/2 medium yellow onion

1 medium zucchini squash

1/8 cup butter, unsalted

1 pinch crushed red pepper

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

bow of cauliflower ham saladGet your cauliflower power on.Albertsons

Creamy Cauliflower Salad with Ham, Celery & Dill

345 calories | 20 minutes

1/2 medium head cauliflower

1 stick celery

1/4 small bunch fresh dill

8 oz. ham steak, boneless

1/2 shallot

1/4 tspblack pepper

1/4 tsp curry powder

2 tsp Dijon mustard

1/4 tsp garlic powder

3 Tbsp mayonnaise

1/8 tsp paprika

2 tsp red wine vinegar

1/2 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

tofu on skewers on a plate with coleslawPlant-based food fan? This combo looks yums. Albertsons

Grilled Chili Tofu Skewers with Ranch Cabbage, Apple & Cucumber Slaw

568 calories | 20 minutes

1 avocado

1/2 English cucumber

1 (12 oz.) package extra firm tofu

1 Granny Smith apple

3 Tbsp (45 ml) Ranch dressing

1/2 (14 oz bag) shredded cabbage (coleslaw mix)

2 tsp chili powder

1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

frittata in a cast iron skilletSometimes you just gotta frittata.Albertsons

Bell Pepper, Olive & Sun-Dried Tomato Frittata with Parmesan

513 calories | 25 minutes

6 eggs

1/2 cup Kalamata olives, pitted

2 oz Parmesan cheese

1 red bell pepper

1/2 medium red onion

8 sundried tomatoes, oil-packed

1/4 tsp black pepper

1 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

1/4 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with slices of grilled chicken and a caprese saladCaprese, if you please.Albertsons

Balsamic Grilled Chicken with Classic Caprese Salad

509 calories | 25 minutes

3/4 lb chicken breasts, boneless skinless

1/2 small pkg fresh basil

1/2 (8 oz pkg) fresh mozzarella cheese

1 clove garlic

3 tomatoes

1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

4 3/4 pinches black pepper

1 1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

3/4 tsp salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

four stuffed mushrooms on a plateThese mushrooms look positively poppable.Albertsons

Warm Goat Cheese, Parmesan & Sun-Dried Tomato Stuffed Mushrooms

187 calories | 35 minutes

1/2 lb cremini mushrooms

1 clove garlic

1/2 (4 oz) log goat cheese

1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded

2 sundried tomatoes, oil-packed

1 1/4 pinches crushed red pepper

1 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1/4 tsp Italian seasoning

2 pinches salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with open English muffin with goat cheese and sliced baby tomatoes on topMove over, avocado toast. English muffin pizzas have arrived.Albertsons

English Muffin Pizzas with Basil Pesto, Goat Cheese & Tomatoes

327 calories | 10 minutes

3 Tbsp (45 ml) basil pesto

2 English muffins

1/2 (4 oz) log goat cheese

1/2 pint grape tomatoes

3/4 pinch black pepper

2 pinches salt

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

pita pocket on a plate filled with veggies, meat and cheeseThis pita pocket packs a colorful punch.Albertsons

Warm Pita Pocket with Turkey, Cheddar, Roasted Red Peppers & Parsley

313 calories | 20 minutes

1/4 (8 oz) block cheddar cheese

1/2 bunch Italian (flat-leaf) parsley

4 oz oven roasted turkey breast, sliced

1/2 (12 oz) jar roasted red bell peppers

1 whole grain pita

3/4 pinch black pepper

1/2 tsp Dijon mustard

2 tsp mayonnaise

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

plate with toast smeared with avocado and topped with prosciuttoDid we say, "Move over, avocado toast?" What we meant was "Throw some prosciutto on it!" Albertsons

Avocado Toast with Crispy Prosciutto

283 calories | 10 minutes

1 avocado

2 slices prosciutto

2 slices whole grain bread

1 5/8 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

1/8 tsp garlic powder

1/8 tsp onion powder

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

bowl of chili with cheese and green onions on topVegetarian chili with a fall twistAlbertsons

Black Bean & Pumpkin Chili with Cheddar

444 calories | 30 minutes

2 (15 oz can) black beans

1/2 (8 oz ) block cheddar cheese

2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes

2 cloves garlic

2 green bell peppers

1 small bunch green onions (scallions)

1 (15 oz) can pure pumpkin purée

1 medium yellow onion

1/2 tsp black pepper

5 7/8 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp cumin, ground

1 tsp salt

1 Tbsp virgin coconut oil

Find full instructions and shopping list here.

For more delicious and nutritious recipes, visit albertsons.com/recipes.

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