Millennial mom shares the 'one big' problem boomer grandparents refuse to get over
It's been a long time since they were parents.

A frustrated mother holding her baby and her boomer parents.
A lot has changed since the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s, when baby boomers raised their children. Back in the day, it was totally fine for babies to sleep on their stomachs, kids to ride without safety belts, people to smoke in the presence of children, and physical punishment was widely accepted. However, over the past 40 or so years, a significant amount of research has been conducted on child rearing and safety, so millennial parents do things differently than their baby boomer parents.
The problem is that now that these baby boomer parents are grandparents, they may not be up to date on the best way to feed a baby or to understand how to manage screen time. Good grandparents allow their children to take the lead when it comes to how they want their kids treated; however, many baby boomers think they know best and won’t be told otherwise.
Paige Connell, (@sheisapaigeturner), a working mom of four and a popular social media personality who discusses the mental load of being a mom and advocates for equality in relationships, addressed the issue with boomer grandparents on TikTok. “It's so strange being a millennial parent with boomers who are now grandparents to your children. Because we all want them to have this, like, really close, loving relationship, but struggle for so many reasons,” she opens her video.
@sheisapaigeturner This is a PSA for Boomer grandparents. If you value time and closeness with your kids and grandkids, I highly recommend that you learn what their boundaries are around parenting, and respect them respecting your children as they become parents goes a very long way for your relationship. ##boomergrandparents##boomerparents##boomervsmillennial##millennialmoms##boundarysetting##grandparentsoftiktok##momof4kids ##parentingstyle
“I think one of the biggest reasons is just the blatant disregard for any parenting decisions we make, and so this can look so many different ways, I think it starts when they're born, right,” Connell continued. Connell then cited a situation where a friend told her boomer mother to stop piling blankets onto her sleeping newborn baby, but she refused to stop. The friend had to tell her mother to go home because it was dangerous to have her around the child.
A happy couple in their 60s.via Canva/Photos
According to the Sleep Foundation, babies should not sleep with loose blankets until they reach 12 months of age to avoid accidental suffocation. “So, it starts the second we come home from the hospital with our babies that we are hearing, ‘Well, this is how I did it, this is how it used to be.’ Instead of ‘Wow, I didn't realise it was such a risk to small children to have a blanket in their crib, I will make sure never to do that,” Connell says.
Connell’s post resonated with many parents her age who want to be respected by their parents. “Boomers are mad that we don’t look to them as the epitome of knowledge now that we have access to information through research and the internet,” Imabot wrote. “Drives me wild. They care more about not 'being wrong' than the baby's safety,” Chrissy added. “What we’re asking for is emotional maturity and emotional intelligence from our boomer parents, and they are utterly incapable of it. Always have been,” Cheugybuggy added.
A happy couple in their 60s.via Canva/Photos
Ultimately, Connell just wants her boomer parents to cooperate with her while helping out with the kids, rather than trying to parent her or teach her how to do things using outdated ideas. It’s okay to give your input, but most of the time, all parents really want is help. “I don't think it should be hard for grandparents to show up and say, ‘What do you want them to eat? Do you cut their food? If you cut their food, how do you cut their food? Great, I'm gonna do that thing,’” Connell says.
- Millennials bond over their Boomer parents' 'gramnesia.' Here's what the viral term means. ›
- Millennial mom gets real about 'absent boomers' who won't make time for their grandkids ›
- Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare ›
- 8 secret habits that help grandparents build unbreakable bonds with grandchildren - Upworthy ›
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.