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36 middle class money-saving hacks that frugal folks swear by to keep spending in check

"The savings definitely add up."

middle class, middle class finances, middle class money, middle class income, middle class money savers

Image via Canva/bogdankosanovic

Middle class people share their best money-saving hacks.

People who earn a middle class income understand that paying attention to every penny that comes in and goes out is a smart money strategy. According to Pew Research, the median household income for middle class people in the United States in 2022 ranged from $56,600 to $169,800.

And frugal middle class people are full of money-saving tips and hacks. To boost their savings, middle class people offered their best money-saving habits to those looking to boost their savings accounts.

From grocery shopping, cooking habits, and bills, they shared their best financial wisdom. These are 36 middle-class money saving hacks that can help everyone save more money.

saving money, save money, money, putting money away, money Saving money gif Giphy

"For me, it’s the simple habits passed down from family. Cooking at home instead of eating out, carrying a water bottle instead of buying one, and reusing jars or old cloth as cleaning rags. Even shopping during discount seasons instead of impulse buying has been a huge saver. These little things may not look like much, but over time they add up and keep life grounded." - NoMedicine3572

"Cooking beans and legumes from dry buying in bulk." - LiterallyKath

"I have an old Toyota is pretty messed up now, but it makes me laugh because it looks kind of like shit lol. But I don't have a car payment and I still get 25 miles per gallon or so. I'll drive that thing into the ground. As long as the car has air-conditioning music and drives decent, I don't really care." - renerdrat

"Stop being snobby about your cell phone service and go to cheaper ones that use the same towers. Mint Mobile has blown me away ... had it for 2 years now, can't believe I was paying AT&T $100/month before. Now I pay $25/month and everything works the same." - mordiaken & wezvidz

"I’ll add to this. We don’t need a new phone every year. Still rocking my 13 mini. Not planning to buy a new one anytime soon." - no_car1799

"Take Amazon off your phone- all orders need to be done on a laptop. Pay for groceries in cash- it tends to take down impulsive purchases. Coffee at home. Make your own cold brew. End of each quarter is use up what is in the fridge and pantry- only purchase are for what completes a meal. Talk about a budget each month. Actively look at places to cut." - Door_Number_Four

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Look at the grocery store flyers and plan your meal prep around what's on sale that week. Base most of your meals on canned goods, frozen veggies, and tofu/inexpensive protein options. Wash/clean whatever you can using baking soda and or vinegar. Don't bother with paper towel use rags. Don't impulse buy research beforehand. Get a library card and use that sucker. Ensure your hobbies aren't too expensive for your lifestyle. Find weekend activities that are basically free. Don't attempt to keep up with other people in order to maintain some weird social status. Keep it simple when it comes to hygiene showers everyday and have your staple products you know work well for your hair skin and teeth and buy them in bulk when they go on sale. Look at your wardrobe and figure out what you actually need to replace before you go clothes shopping (write a specific list before you leave your place). Find frugal friends ;). " - RangerAndromeda

"Buying a sewing kit and learning basic hand sewing can help save pieces of clothing that need minor fixes for almost no additional investment. I can replace buttons, hem slacks, and reattach zippers with the same needles and thread I've had since 2016." - Iceonthewater

"Pack your lunch at home. Don’t eat out. I have a mini fridge under my desk. I’ll bring 2-3 lunches at a time, plus they are healthy." - smack4u & wpbth

"Door Dash [don't do it]. A $20 meal now costs $50 with tip and delivery." - Cucharamama

@miarosemcgrath
part 2 the ‘frugal chic’ #savingmoney #splurgevssave #personalfinance

"Learn how to fix simple shit safely. Leak under the sink? It’s 150+ just to have a plumber come out to look at it. Half the time it’s just a twist or swapping out a standard part that costs $5. And if you can’t fix it yourself you can still call the pro. It’s the same with most shit, I’ve learned with YouTube videos how to fix most of my appliances, change out outlets (TURN OFF THE BREAKER FIRST I KNOW) and repair a lot of things around my home that would cost me $100s of dollars for just a few bucks. Also, if you know handy people just ask them how. I had a sprinkler line split and it would have cost me $1000s for a professional repair. My neighbor works on gas lines for the city and he came over with a bag of spare joinings and told me to go grab some pvc and that blue glue shit they use. Cost me $20 bucks and half a case of modelo (we split it while he stood there watching me dig it up and then directing me how to cut out the compromised piece and fix it)." - JoefromOhio

"Buying popcorn in bulk and popping it on the stovetop, instead of prepackaged popcorn." - CBased64Olds

"Evaluation of my bills regularly- and tracking that the expected amounts are deducted. Example: my Comcast bill is normally $70/mo. $77 came out. The following month the invoice said $95 would be deducted. These companies creep up the bill and if you aren’t watching it will climb. In my experience, Comcast has been the worst offender of this. I called them and was refunded and my bill is back to $70. Also price shopping. I pay $15/mo for my phone service (Visible by Verizon- my service is better than when I was paying $179/mo T-Mobile or $250/mo att!) and $2.17 for Disney + Hulu. I use alternate suppliers for my electric. My bill was almost $300/mo, now it’s down to $110-$120/mo. Your bill is still generated through the regular electric company. You are just buying the electric from a cheaper supplier. I check/switch providers for any and every service every 3-6mo for the best savings. I was with AT&T for 20 years. Then I asked myself why am I loyal to them? Or any company? Bc it’s just easier. But now I view comparing prices for these things as a side hustle. Some of my bills are so low (like my cell bill or my streaming) that I don’t price shop them anymore. It’s a small time investment for thousands saved. I like to keep my money!" - Thor_StrngstAvenger

"Automation. You gotta find your number and then give yourself a little cushion and then the rest of your money needs to be automated out. Basically you learn to live on the money in your checking account. People who don't do this usually never realize that they can easily live on less." - scottie2haute

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I see something I like my first thought is 'but what am I gonna do with it?' If the answer is primarily 'Idk, I just think it’s neat', then I don’t buy it." - DeepDot7458

"Sounds silly, but we got my husband a nice cooler for Christmas, and I’ve taken to packing it when I go on outings/errands with the kids. “Mom’s random bag of shelf-stable snacks” doesn’t have as much appeal as that Chick-Fil-A sign, and I found myself easily convinced to order nuggets for myself, a medium fry or Mac and cheese for each of the kids, etc. $30 later, we’re satiated, but I’m kicking myself. Turns out turkey subs, chips, and snackle boxes with fruit, cubed cheese, crackers, mini pepperoni, etc ARE more appetizing than CFA, especially when they help pack the cooler." - Snoo-669

"IMO, it's not the habits around the small spends. It's the habits around the big spends. I focus on keeping my housing, transportation, food, and utility costs down -- in that order. Making my own coffee at home is trivial in comparison. But I do that too. And shop at Aldi. I keep a mental list of the good price on all the things I buy and try to always hit those prices and stock up when they do." - Cannelli10

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Passenger on 274-day cruise is surprised to learn the one word you can't say on the ship

"It's like saying 'Macbeth' in a theater."

via Mattew Barra/Pexels

There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf
someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Watch Mary Tyler Moore sink a tricky pool shot, shocking everyone on set, including herself

How she and Dick Van Dyke managed to stay in character is remarkable.

FilmRise Television/YouTube (Public Domain)

This miraculous moment happened in Season 2, Episode 5 of The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Most of us have had moments where something completely unlikely happened that we wish had been caught on film. Have you ever dropped something in the bathroom, and when you tried to catch it, it bounced off your hand, onto the sink, into the wall, then right into the toilet? You couldn't replicate something like that even if you tried. All you can do is look around and ask, "Did anyone else see that?"

One of those seemingly impossible moments happened to Mary Tyler Moore while filming an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show in 1962, but luckily, it was caught on film. The scene she and Dick Van Dyke were filming involved a tricky pool shot in which Mary Tyler Moore's character was supposed to hit three balls into three different pockets at once. The plan for the scene was to film Moore taking the shot, then cut to a shot of just the table where a professional pool player would actually make the shot, then cut back to Moore. But they didn't end up needing the pro player at all, much to everyone's surprise–including Moore herself.

@didyoucatchthis
The Unscripted Magic of Mary Tyler Moore on The Dick Van Dyke Show In a memorable 1962 episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, a seemingly routine scene turned into an unforgettable moment of unscripted brilliance. In the episode, Laura Petrie, played by the iconic Mary Tyler Moore, wants to quit a game of pool to watch her favorite movie on TV. Her husband, Rob Petrie, played by Dick Van Dyke, convinces her to finish the game. Laura agrees, setting up for what was intended to be a clever camera trick. The plan was simple: the scene would cut away to a professional pool player making a difficult shot, then cut back to Laura as if she had made it herself. But then something incredible happened. Instead of relying on the professional, Mary Tyler Moore nailed the shot herself, completely unplanned. The genuine surprise and delight in her reaction—and Dick Van Dyke’s—made the moment feel all the more authentic and endearing. This unscripted success is a perfect example of the magic that made The Dick Van Dyke Show so special, blending impeccable acting, humor, and spontaneous brilliance into TV history.

The look on Moore's face says it all, but the fact that the two actors otherwise stayed in character is even more remarkable. Van Dyke didn't even flinch. Absolute legend. And shout out to the camera crew as well. The professionalism all around in that moment is a testament to everyone on set.

According to Slash Film, the show's editor, Bud Molin, explained in Vince Waldron's The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book how the shot came to be. The shot was set up ahead of time, of course, but she was just supposed to make the balls go the right way. No one expected her to actually sink any of them, much less all three.

"We had it rigged so that she just had to hit the balls in the right general direction," Molin said. "It was just luck. She hit it, and she dropped every ball!"

Everyone was wowed, including Moore herself. She quickly picked her jaw up off the table, though, saving the scene so that the footage would be usable. And indeed, that take ended up being the one that made it into the "Hustling the Hustler" episode.

Watch the full scene from the beginning here (and note Van Dyke's unflappable reaction):

- YouTube youtu.be

The irony of the way the scene panned out is that Moore's character was supposed to surprise her husband and the audience with her pool prowess—just a little ol' housewife besting a man at a man's sport. The fact that she actually did it makes it all the better.

The Dick Van Dyke Show still ranks among the best sitcoms of all time, even seven decades after it aired.

More fun facts about The Dick Van Dyke Show

- The show aired for five seasons, from 1961 to 1966, and won a whopping 15 Emmy Awards.

- It was considered a pioneer in the sitcom genre, incorporating complexities of real life like parenting, sex, and societal issues in ways that previous sitcoms had not explored.

- Johnny Carson was among those in the running for the lead role that ultimately went to Dick Van Dyke due to his better name recognition at the time. Carson would become The Tonight Show host in 1962, a year after The Dick Van Dyke Show premiered.

johnny carson, the tonight show, dick van dyke show, talk show, television Johnny Carson was one of two finalists for Dick Van Dyke's role. Giphy

- Mary Tyler Moore had to fight to wear capri pants as the wardrobe choice made the network and advertisers nervous. However, she insisted that her character wear them and succeeded in shifting norms and expectations around women's clothing.

- Part of the show's success after it's second season (which almost didn't happen due to low ratings in the beginning) was the revolutionary idea to play reruns of the show during the summer. "That was one of the most creative things I ever did," said Carl Reiner, the show's director, according to John Kiesewetter. "Repeats back then were not a big thing. But I said, 'The people who have seen Perry Como will have a chance to sample us.' And it worked!"

- The catchy Dick Van Dyke Show theme song was an instrumental, but it actually had lyrics written by co-star of the show Morey Amsterdam. Watch Dick Van Dyke sing it in a 2011 interview onThe Rachael Ray Show :

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Reruns of The Dick Van Dyke Show can be found on various streaming services, and some full episodes that are in the public domain can be found on YouTube.

From Your Site Articles

Airbnb host finds unexpected benefits from not charging guests a cleaning fee

Host Rachel Boice went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw major perks because of it.

@rachelrboice/TikTok

Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of.

However, some hosts are opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.”

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee. Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approaches.

Speaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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I spent the day following people over 80 around and I could barely keep up

Their full social calendars might just be the secret to happiness.

Lauren Miller

A group of elderly people solve a puzzle.

As someone who wakes up, turns on the TV, eats a cookie, and then sits at my desk to write, some might say I'm rather sedentary. That is not the case for my mother and many of her friends at the senior living facility where they reside. In fact, I've never seen such an active group of people in my life—and most of them are in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s. Time and again, experts stress the importance of not only physical exercise and a healthy diet, but also mental stimulation in order to stay spry. Obviously, nothing can stave off the inevitable, but there are countless examples of people who swear by staying on the go to stay sharp well into old age.

Games keep their minds alert

My mom's posse starts early in the day with Mexican Train (a dominos game) and they mean business, as plenty play for money. This is popular among the residents, as is Bridge and Mahjong, the latter being where my mom truly shines. I sat in on a Mahjong game and watched as they laser-focused on the tiles in order to build a winning hand. Some of them wanted to use the time for chitchat, while others were a bit more rigid with the gameplay aspect. But as we left (after two hours) they all seemed much lighter in spirt.

A Texas A&M University School of Public Health research study reports, "Older people with mild cognitive impairment who engage in high levels of activities such as word games and hobbies have better memory, working memory, attention and processing speed than those who do not."

mahjong, senior living, puzzles, mental health, games, community A close up of a game of Mahjong Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Group meetings help them stay engaged

Whether it's sitting together in the dining hall or attending an art class to bead a purse, the idea of being together seems to help the seniors' sense of belonging. Book club is especially popular (though I'm told it often gets heated) because they become exposed to literature that might have been outside their usual realm and discuss it in depth.

In 2024 Forbes published a piece about how senior citizens can stay young, healthy and fit, noting, "Regular social interactions, participating in community activities, and staying connected with loved ones can contribute to a sense of belonging, purpose, and happiness."

The National Institute of Aging reports that non-engagement can cause both mental and physical decline. They note, "Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline."

The seniors at my mom's home have sharp political discussions too. The facility brings in someone to make sure the residents are getting a balanced, non-partisan range of news from various outlets. I watched one of these meetings and it was encouraging to see seniors having civil discourse from all sides of the political spectrum.

There are also church and temple services for those who wish, and guided meditation groups (which my mom loves) where they're encouraged to write down their feelings.

One friend sits on what's called the Citizen Council to advocate for residents. "They meet often, and resolve nothing," my mother shadily notes, but still—it fills time and keeps them busy.

elderly, book club, senior living, staying active, seniors A book club meeting held at the senior living facility. Lauren Miller

Staying physically active

According to the Canadian Association Medical Journal, the elderly are not getting enough exercise by and large. Writer Kristen Fischer shares that, "In the United States, about 13.9% of adults aged 65 or more years meet federal physical activity guidelines for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. Fischer also quotes Jane Thornton, MD, who is an associate professor at the Schulich School of Medicine and Dentistry in Ontario, saying, "“Physical activity is one of the most important ways to preserve or improve functional independence, including among older adults who are frail or deemed to be at increased risk of falling,”

To touch base with her younger self, my mom decided to create her own dance class. Having been a professional dancer (she danced with the Austin Ballet Company), she was missing that side of herself in her new home. Though she's now on a walker, as are many of the residents, that didn't stop her. With the help of a staff member, she created "Dances with Walkers," wherein she personally chose a hard beat-driven playlist so that people could dance with their walkers, scooters, and canes.

elderly, dancing, walkers, senior living, active A dance class for people on walkers. Lauren Miller

Just plain fun

One of my mom's friends said to me, plain and simple, "Just because we're older, doesn't mean we don't want to have a good time. I wake up every day and think I'm 30. Then I look in the mirror."

To that end, the gang is involved in monthly karaoke and weekly entertainment. "Tony Macaroni is often here," my mom shares. "As long as his hearing aids are working, he sounds great!"

Having purpose

In The Washington Post article "Centenarians share their longevity formula: 'Staying busy gives you purpose,' author Sydney Page writes that a 100-year-old woman took a part-time job at Home Depot and claims, "That's what keeps me sharp."

One of the commenters on this piece shared, "I once chatted with a woman who was volunteering at the local senior center. She did it, she said, to help out 'the old dears.' She was pushing 90 at the time."

Another writes, "Live till you die. Make the Reaper have to work to get his quota when you're on his list. Most of all, treat your body such that you'll be able to climb into the casket when it's your time."

elderly, senior living, staying active, seniors, home Residents of a senior facility enjoy a night out.Lauren Miller

This isn't to say all of this activity is easy. My mom, for example, is hard of hearing and can't see well. She gets tired easily and sometimes has to push beyond her exhaustion. This is part of what makes watching her (and many of her friends) so inspiring. They may see someone else when they look in the mirror, but when they're singing and dancing, the best parts of themselves reappear.

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Gen Z debates 'The Taxicab Theory' and their thoughts on love might change the game

Relationship theories like this could be problematic.

Photo Credit: Canva

Taxicab light is on. Two people enjoy a romantic date.

The theory was simple, as many ideas from the hit HBO show Sex and the City were. To paraphrase Miranda Hobbes (portrayed by Cynthia Nixon), men are like taxicab lights. When they settle down, it's never actually about the person they wind up with—it's all a matter of timing and when their "cab light is on."

In a recent article for Verywell Mind, author Ariane Resnick explains, "The taxicab theory (also known as the taxi light theory) is an idea that centers around men and claims that they commit, or not, based on timing." Resnick then quotes therapist Afton Turner, LPCA, who claims, "The taxicab theory explains when a man decides he is ready to get married, it’s like he is turning on his cab light—he is signaling that he’s available and open to commitment. At that point, it’s less about who he’s with and more about the timing; he’s ready to pick up the next waiting passenger and marry them."

What Miranda (or rather the show's writers) says exactly is: "Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And then they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one that they'll marry. It's not fate. It's dumb luck."

A clip from season three of Sex and the City discussing Taxi Cab Theory. www.youtube.com, Matchacarbonara

This episode was released in 2000, when much of Gen X was settling down or in the crux of dating. Many of us took the monologue as a cute throwaway scene in a lighthearted comedy. It was just the kind of thing you post on a blog and then carry on with your life. It’s obviously reductive and, as Resnick writes, "problematic" for many reasons. Mainly, it's an odd thing to attribute only to men and it’s a laughable generalization.

Gen Z has some questions on the theory and topic at large, which spark healthy debates on TikTok.

On the "First Round’s on Me" app's TikTok page, a woman is asked, "What is the best dating advice you’ve ever received?" She echoes the taxicab theory, answering, "My dad told me last year that men either have their light on or they have it off. I have dated for two years straight and every man's light was off. And I was always chasing."

@firstroundsonmeapp
Do YOU believe taxi cab theory?😏 #nyc #fyp #dating #date #datingapp #firstroundsonme #single #datingadviceforwomen #datingadviceformen #relationship #love #ots #interview

The interviewer confirms, "Men are like taxicabs. If the light is off, don’t try to get in."

"Don’t even try," she continues. "But when their light is on, be ready."

In the comment section, a few offer their own advice. But many agree with the sentiment. "Great advice," more than one person writes.

But over on @BlackRyanSeacrest’s TikTok page, he debunks the theory. He especially pushes back on the idea that men don’t choose the "perfect woman" if their light is off. He asks, "Perfect according to who? The other women or to him? Because I promise you if she was perfect for him, he’d be with her."

@blackryanseacrest
The taxi cab theory isn’t real #fyp #dating #men #women #foryou

He lets the clip continue, then shares, "The taxicab theory is basically a stage three coping mechanism. It’s basically saying, ‘You know how that guy rejected you? It’s completely okay and has nothing to do with you. Because in reality, he’s not ready for a relationship and when he is, he’s just gonna pick some random woman in front of his face that he doesn’t care about.’"

He goes on to scold the idea that men have no feelings or thoughts and are merely guided by an unseen, vague readiness. He also points out that women are also capable of merely "coasting in a relationship just because they want to be in a relationship—even though the guy is completely lackluster."

Here, the comments are also quite supportive of the content creator. "Also, if he isn’t ready to be in a relationship, even if this hypothetical woman is perfect for him, THAT is healthy!"

sex and the city, carrie bradshaw, taxi cab theory, relationships Carrie attempts to flirt by winking. Giphy Warner Brothers, HBO Max

One person pushes back: "But then why do men date a woman for 6 or 7 years saying he's not ready for marriage, just to marry a girl one year into the relationship after his last relationship ended? Even if you say he just fell in love, imagine being the girl he left."

Another debates this idea: "This might surprise you, but those two women are in fact not the same person. There was something about woman 2 that brought him peace in his life."

The bottom line is that simplifying love and partnership—no matter the gender, sexual preference, or otherwise—minimizes the importance of chemistry. Sure, maybe timing has something to do with where we end up, but not always. In their latest piece for Pure Wow, editor Sydney Meister writes, "Because in a culture obsessed with finding the ideal match—often one that may not even exist—‘settling’ has become synonymous with ‘giving up.’ Yet, could it be that it’s not about giving up on connection, but redefining our expectations of commitment?"

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