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Modern Families

36-year-old grabs and flips the camera during 'Happy Birthday' song. It's actually genius.

Who needs a boring video of a grown adult staring at a cake when you can have this?

Canva Photos

The birthday girl grabbed the camera and turned it around while party guests sang—and the result was amazing.

No proper birthday celebration is complete without an off-key rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung by a number of friends and family members of various vocal talents. Even as an adult, you may not have an elaborate party, but it's still nice to enjoy that small moment: A small cake, cupcake, or other treat, and 30 seconds of love and recognition from the people who mean the most to you.

Inevitably, someone will whip out their phone to record the occasion. If you've been the birthday person recently, you know it's a little uncomfortable to have someone filming you as you stare at the cake and smile politely, waiting for the song to end. And besides, who wants to watch that video back anyway?

One woman is going viral on social media for giving the dry, overdone "Happy Birthday" video a clever twist.

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones A good reminder to never take it for granted when you have people to help you celebrate. Photo by Bave Pictures on Unsplash

Deniz Kayiket recently posted a reel captioned: "It took me 36 years to realize you're supposed to record birthday videos the other way around."

In the video, she's shown sitting at a table as someone presents her with a cake that's adorned with lit candles, including a fancy, sparkly one in the middle. Kayiket then reaches out for the camera phone, taking it away from whoever's filming, and spins the camera around to capture the audience of friends and family in attendance.

The result is so joyful and full of life I can't believe everyone doesn't take videos like this.

The clip went mega viral to the tune of over 10 million views and hundreds of thousands of responses.

People found the idea of Kayiket capturing not her own celebratory milestone, but the people who had gathered to help her make it special, so overwhelmingly beautiful.

"Ohhh how i wish this happened when I was a kid! What i wouldn't give to see those people again"

"Sometimes it's hard to simply realize, those that you surround yourself with may not always be there. But cherish each moment with them. Life's too short for arguments, negativity, or past problems. You never know when's the last time you'll see someone you love."

birthday, birthday party, aging, selfies, photography, pictures, memories, family, love, culture, smartphones No party is too small to make a great memory. Giphy

The comments kept rolling in on TikTok, where the clip racked up another nearly three million views:

"Im jealous on what you get to look back on. I never made my birthdays relevant enough to remember"

"Why is this the sweetest thing ever"

"The fact that she thought to do this shows how aware and appreciative she is for everything she has. This is not someone who takes things for granted"

Some commenters claimed that the real 'trick' is to be in the moment and focused on the people around you without any phones or cameras at all. But that sentiment, while valid, misses the point.

"Whenever I watch the videos and photos of my past birthdays I feels so grateful for taking them, memories fade, photos and videos stay," someone astutely noted.

In an era where photos and videos have become so ubiquitous, it's crucial to find ways to make them really count.

With 91% of Americans owning an iPhone or equivalent smartphone, we have the capacity to take a nearly unlimited number of photos and videos. It can be a great thing. You'll never miss a moment anymore! You'll never be unpleasantly surprised to find your film print ruined by bad lighting or a thumb over the lens (which happened to me too many times when I was younger). But there's also something about the unlimited-ness of it all that has made photos and video less special.

(There was something amazing about the era of old photo albums, where you might have one good picture of a birthday party, or just a handful of shots with a relative who died when you were young. It's nice to have more, but those felt incredibly meaningful. Now the average user has upwards of 2000 photos stored on their devices, and even that seems like a conservative estimate.)

When I watch Kayiket's video, I can't help but think of the old photography advice that says something to the effect of, "If a photo doesn't have someone you love in it, you'll never look at it again."

I think about it all the time when I'm trying to capture a sunset or take in a breathtaking view. The photo never does it justice, anyway, and I never go back and look at them. But I do want to see photos of my friends and family in meaningful moments, big and small. I definitely don't need a zillion more photos of myself, but I would pay really good money to have a video like hers from birthdays past of my parents, relatives who have since passed away, and old friends who got together to sing and congratulate me.

So, if you're a grown adult with a birthday coming up, try this cool trick. Grab the camera and flip it around while your loved ones clap and celebrate. It'll be a unique and amazing video to look back on one day.

via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Dino Ambrosi speaks at a school assembly.

In a 2023 TEDx Talk at Laguna Blanca School, Dino Ambrosi made a startling revelation that perfectly underlines the big question of the smartphone era: What is my time worth? Ambrosi is the founder of Project Reboot and an expert at guiding teens and young adults to develop more empowering relationships with technology.

Assuming the average person now lives to 90, after calculating the average time they spend sleeping, going to school, working, cooking, eating, doing chores, sleeping, and taking care of personal hygiene, today’s 18-year-olds have only 334 months of their adult lives to themselves.

"How you spend this time will determine the quality of your life,” Ambrosi says. However, given the tech habits of today’s young people, most of those months will be spent staring at screens, leaving them with just 32 months to leave their mark on the world. "Today, the average 18-year-old in the United States is on pace to spend 93% of their remaining free time looking at a screen,” Ambrosi says.


dino ambrosi, teens and technology, smartphone addiction An 18-year-olds remaining time, in months. via TEDx

The idea that an entire generation will spend most of their free time in front of screens is chilling. However, the message has a silver lining. Sharing this information with young people can immediately impact how they spend their time.

How to get teens to reduce their screentime

Ambrosi says his work with Project Reboot through on-campus initiatives, school assemblies, and parent workshops has taught him that teens are more concerned about time wasted on their phones than the damage it may do to their mental health. Knowing the topic that resonates can open the door for an effective dialogue about a topic that’s hard for many young people to discuss. When teens realize they are giving their entire lives away for free, they are more apt to reconsider their relationship with smartphones.

“I actually don't get through to a lot of teens, as well as when I help them realize the value of their time and then highlight the fact that that time is being stolen from them,” Ambrosi told Upworthy.

A Common Sense Media study shows that the average 13 to 18-year-old, as of 2021, spent an average of 8 hours and 39 minutes a day on entertainment screentime.

“It’s important to get them to view time as their most valuable resource that they can use to invest in themselves or enjoy life and tick the boxes on their bucket list. I really want them to see that that's something they should take control of and prioritize because we're all under the impression that social media is free, but it's actually not free. We just pay for it with our time.”

dino ambrosi, project reboot, teens smartphones Dino AMbrosi speaks at Berkeley.via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Ambrosi believes that young people are less likely to hand their time to tech companies for free when they understand its value. “I find that kids really respond to that message because nobody wants to feel manipulated, right? And giving them that sense of being wronged, which I think they have been, by tech companies that are off operating on business models that are not aligned with their well-being, is important.”

He also believes parents should be sympathetic and nonjudgmental when talking to young people about screentime because it’s a struggle that just about everyone faces and feels shame about. A little understanding will prevent them from shutting down the conversation altogether.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

How to reduce my screentime

Ambrosi has some suggestions to help people reduce their screentime.

The ClearSpace app

ClearSpace forces you to take a breathing delay before using a distracting app. It also asks you to set a time limit and allows you to set a number of visits to the site per day. If you eclipse the number of visits, it sends a text to a friend saying you exceeded your budget. This can help people be accountable for one another’s screentime goals.

Don’t sleep with your phone

Ambrosi says to charge your phone far away from your bedside stand when you sleep and use an alarm clock to wake up. If you do have an alarm clock on your phone, set up an automation so that as soon as you turn off the alarm, it opens up an app like Flora or Forest and starts an hour-long timer that incentivizes you to be off your phone for the first hour of the day.

“In my experience, if you can stay off screens for the last hour and the first hour of the day, the other 22 hours get a lot easier because you get the quality rest and sleep that you need to wake up fully charged, and now you're more capable of being intentional because you are at your best," Ambrosi told Upworty.

Keep apps in one place

Ambrosi says to keep all of your social apps and logins on one device. “I try to designate a specific use for each device as much as possible,” he told Upworthy. “I try to keep all my social media time and all my entertainment on my phone as opposed to my computer because I want my computer to be a tool for work.”

Even though there are significant challenges ahead for young people as they try to navigate a screen-based world while keeping them at a healthy distance, Ambrosi is optimistic about the future.

“I'm really optimistic because I have seen in the last year, in particular, that the receptiveness of student audiences has increased by almost an order of magnitude. Kids are waking up to the fact that this is the problem. They want to have this conversation,” he told Upworthy. “Some clubs are starting to address this problem at several schools right now; from the talks I've given this semester alone, kids want to be involved in this conversation. They're creating phone-free spaces on college and high school campuses by their own accord. I just think we have a huge potential to leverage this moment to move things in the right direction.”

For more information on Ambrosi’s programs, visit ProjectReboot.School.

This article originally appeared last year.

A group of students staring at their phones.

The Norwegian government is spearheading a significant initiative to prohibit students from having smartphones in schools. This move comes in the wake of compelling studies demonstrating the positive impact of removing these devices from students’ hands and allowing them to focus more on their learning.

The effects have been particularly beneficial for girls.

Over the past few years, smartphone bans have cropped up in several school districts throughout Norway, allowing researchers to study how the bans affected students. Sara Abrahamsson, a postdoctoral fellow at the Norwegian Institute of Public Health, analyzed students at 400 middle schools and found that the bans had psychological and academic benefits.

The Norwegian Institute of Public Health published the results.

1 Girls made fewer appointments for psychological help

The study found that there was a significant decrease in the number of visits that girls made to see a psychological specialist for mental health issues. “Relative to pretreatment this is a significant decline by almost 60% in the number of visits,” Abrahamsson wrote in the study.

2. Steep drop in bullying

The study shows that girls experienced a 46% reduction in bullying after smartphone bans were enacted and boys had a 43% reduction.

smartphone, smartphone ban, norway

Boys looking at memes on a smartphone.

via Max Fischer/Pexels

3. Improved grades for girls

The study revealed that introducing a smartphone ban at the beginning of middle school improved girls' GPAs and increased their chances of enrolling in an academic-oriented high school track versus a vocational study. On the other hand, the ban appeared to have no notable effect on boys’ GPA, teacher-assigned grades, or likelihood of pursuing an academic high school track.

4. The ban had a more significant effect on economically disadvantaged girls

The study found that the ban resulted in greater benefits for economically disadvantaged girls regarding academic performance, appointments for psychological symptoms and the probability of attending an academically focused high school.

The positive impact that the bans have on girls is significant, given the fact that studies show they’ve been the most deeply affected by the rise in mental health issues amongst young people that have coincided with smartphone adaptation.

One of the most disturbing trends is the dramatic rise in suicide rates among girls in developed nations.

smartphones in schools, norway, smartphone ban

Students taking a selfie in school.

via RDNE Stock Project

Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” and advocate for banning smartphones in schools, explained why smartphone use is more damaging for girls than boys.

“There is a special relationship between social media and girls,” Haidt told “The Reason Interview with Nick Gillespie” podcast. “When boys get together … they're likely to organize themselves into groups to compete [on multiplayer video games].”

“Girls are much more interested in talking about relationships. Who is on the outs with whom? Who's dating who? They have a more developmental map of the social space,” Haidt continued.

When there is conflict within peer groups, social media poses a much greater threat to girls.

“Boys' aggression is ultimately backed up by the threat of physical domination and punching or pain, " Haidt continued. “Girls' aggression is equal in magnitude, but it's aimed at relationships and reputation. It's called relational aggression. Video games, if anything, prevent boys from getting in fights. … The platform settles everything. But girls' relational aggression is amplified. The worst year of bullying is seventh grade. I'm really focused on middle school.”


This article originally appeared on 4.25.24


Education

Away for a Day is making schools smartphone-free to improve grades and mental health

We should value academics and mental health more than technology.

A classroom of kids staring at their phones.

We have reached a tipping point where people are beginning to realize that the great social experiment of giving smartphones to children and teens has been disastrous for their mental health. Since young people started using smartphones about 15 years ago, there have been tremendous spikes in anxiety, depression and self-harm.

Big tech companies, such as Meta, have claimed there is no causal evidence that smartphones and social media are responsible for the mental health crisis. But we know that the rise in mental health problems began when young people started using smartphones and studies show that when kids take a break from social media for over a week, their mental health improves.

“There's enough data out there to show that it's not just correlational anymore. Clearly, some of this is causal and we're at this breaking point,” Lisa Tabb from Away for the Day told Upworthy.


The Away for a Day (AFTD) movement is working to reverse that trend by giving parents and schools resources to remove smartphones from the classroom. Tabb is also a former TV news producer and the co-producer of “Screenagers,” the first feature documentary to explore the impact of screen technology on kids and offer parents and families proven solutions that work.

Smartphones in schools are a tremendous distraction, even if they are just in a student’s pocket or backpack. “If you give them a warm chocolate chip cookie in their pocket and say, don't eat it. It's just not fair. It's just not fair,” Tabb told Upworthy. “And science shows that kids are distracted not only by their own device but everybody else's devices, too.”

Studies show that test scores increase when smartphones are taken out of the classroom.

Smartphones expose students to dangerous, inappropriate content online and are associated with depression and anxiety. “We're worried about the very, the very big, scary stuff that can happen online, but we're more concerned about all the tiny microaggressions that happen throughout the day when kids are seeing their friends online that went to a party that they weren't invited to,” Tabb said.

away for the day, screenagers, smartphonesSmartphones are bad for focus.via Away for the Day

That’s why AFTD is pushing for smartphones to be taken out of schools or, at least, out of students’ pockets and backpacks. “Phones don’t necessarily have to be left at home. It just has to be phones off their person,” Tabb told Upworthy.

“We believe having phones and smartwatches put away in lockers so the devices are physically away from the students is the best practice,” ATDE writes on its website. “If your students do not have lockers, we suggest that phones are put in places like hanging pocket holders, baskets, locked safes, or Yondr pouches. For those schools where this is not logistically possible, having students put their phones in their backpacks is the next best choice.”

Most schools confiscate students' phones if they are out at an inappropriate time and either the student or their parent must pick them up from the office after school. At Corte Madera High School in Portola Valley, California, students who violate the rule multiple times will have to check their phones in the office before the school day begins and pick them up after the final bell.



Creating a phone-free school day is a lot of work for students, teachers and administrators, but the benefits of having schools where mental health and academics are prioritized over technology are priceless.

“I have a great story about a middle school principal told me a few years ago,” Tabb told Upworthy. “The school had an electronic hall pass system and one year, 1800 students used the pass to visit the school counselor. This was when students were allowed to have their phones with them all school day. The following year, she instituted an away-all-day policy and the use of the hall pass to see the counselor literally went down to 10.”

Parents, students, teachers, and school administrators who want to implement phone-free policies in their schools can learn more and get free toolkits to get started Away for the Day’s website.