JPMorgan offered return-to-office perks that are remarkably similar to the show 'Severance'
The only thing missing was a "music dance experience."
Adam Scott and Tramell Tillman in Severance
While remote work has been a mainstay since the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more companies are attempting to mandate that employees return to the office, on a full or part-time basis, including one now-infamous effort from JPMorgan Chase. The company announced that as of March 2025, all employees were required to return to the office five days per week. Their CEO even ditched the policy that allowed employees to work-from-home two days per week.
To mark the occasion, welcome everyone back ( and perhaps twist the knife a bit deeper?) the United State's largest bank unveiled a plan for a massive $3 billion, 2.5 millions square foot tower on New York's famous Park Avenue—which would house 14,000 workers and feature state of the art architecture and technology—in addition to loading up its new corporate headquarters with perks to help employees transition back to office life.
Some of these "perks" were truly great and truly enticing. Others were... questionable, to say the least.
Grace Tallon on LinkedIn even noticed that some of the benefits of working in the JPMorgan Office seemed like they were yanked right out of one of the most popular current TV shows on the planet: Severance.
If you don't know it, Severance is a psychological thriller on Apple TV that doubles as a dark and biting satire of corporate office culture and capitalism. Employees at a mysterious company called Lumon are "severed" — meaning their brains, memories, and personalities are literally split in half. While at work, they are a different person and retain no memories when they leave the office every night. In return for their sacrifice and for hitting key milestones, the employees receive ludicrous rewards like short dance parties with their boss, melon parties with carved watermelons, and handfuls of balloons. Employees are also expected to marvel at bizarre pieces of art that line the hall, featuring stoic images of Lumon's revered (and more than a bit creepy) founders.
Conversely, JPMorgan's new tower boasted 19-restaurants with at-your-desk delivery, an Irish pub, and on-site physical therapy and yoga. But that's not all!
Tallon notes, however, that JPMorgan also tried to entice employees with things like "personalized climate" in rooms and offices, a "signature scent" that wafts through the halls and somehow reinforced the brand, and, get this, even a "corporate art collection" that celebrates the company's history and values. Be more on the nose next time, will you JPMorgan? That's to say nothing of design elements that support worker's circadian rhythms and coffee machines that learn your favorites over time.
"Let’s stop pretending this is about connecting and doing better work," she writes.
Read Tallon's full post below on the striking similarities:
Commenters agreed that the perks came off more than a little tone deaf.
While some folks defended the corporation for doing their best to make employees feel cared for and taken care of, others didn't quite see it that way, especially when they compared it to the perks of WFH life.
"The climate in my own home office is just right. Along with my own coffee, artwork, lighting (window wide open), and other perks and it cost me zero dollars to drive there and I don't have to wear shoes! Way out of touch," wrote Alix Z.
"Those perks sound more like a high-tech museum experience than actual employee benefits. Instead of a 'signature scent,' how about giving employees real reasons to feel good about coming to work?" said Diana Alayon.
Some at-home perk simply can't be beat. Photo credit: Canva
"Working at home perks: My own candle collection, curated to suit my preferences, Coffee and tea on tap, from our favourite brands, Comfortable cushions and blankets to help regulate my temperature at my desk, A variety of lighting options, ranging from warm white lamps to 'the big light', Freedom to work anywhere I want, such as my office desk, sofa, kitchen table or a coffee shop near by, Personalised art with photos of family and pictures we enjoy, Working space decorated to my own specifications, Plenty of spaces nearby for fresh air and dog walks" wrote Eloise Todd in a mic-drop comment.
There are of course benefits to working together in-person with your colleagues. And sure, if you're required to be there, nothing offsets discomfort quite like delicious lunches and free yoga classes. But to take away even the option of occasionally working from home and duct-taping over it with an algorithm that tracks coffee orders and temperature preferences, and filling the halls with strange paintings that move when employees walk by? It kind of loses the thread, and it's exactly the kind of thinking that the creators of Severance are so good at skewering.
Mark (Adam Scott) at the infamous dance party scene in Severance. media0.giphy.com
According to Forbes, there are 6 distinct reason companies might push for a return to the office. One, corporate heads believe employees get more "immersed in the company’s values." Two, they think it's easier to monitor whether or not an employee is actually working. Three, to justify the cot of that expensive office space. Four, to foster "spontaneous collaboration." Five, to give new employees a chance to observe and interact with more seasoned worker. and six, to restore a sense of belonging within the company.
But of course, none of these things have anything to do with what people really want: Autonomy. That, in addition to fair pay, some level of flexibility, and good benefits. Perks are nice — even the kind of weird ones — but they can only go so far. It remains to be seen if companies that dictate back-to-the-office edicts are willing to follow through on the things that really matter. Please note how waffle parties did not make that list.
This article originally appeared in February
What's up with the new ‘invisible’ smartphone that’s everywhere on TikTok?
Did a time traveler just get caught?
A woman using her methaphone.
Popular tech influencer CatGpt uploaded a head-scratching video on TikTok May 14 that sparked a wave of curiosity. It featured a woman in line at a boba shop in San Francisco, seemingly engrossed in a smartphone that looked like it was made of clear glass. “Completely clear phone spotted in San Francisco on May 14…?!?” she captioned the video, which garnered nearly 55 million views.
This video received many confused responses, with some claiming the woman was a time traveler who had been caught in the act. Others thought it was a new smartphone that could be more trouble than it's worth. “Losing that would be a NIGHTMARE to find,” one commenter wrote. “I can’t even find my phone now. I’ll never find it when it’s translucent,” another added.
Some people thought it was the long-rumored Nokia Clear Phone that, sadly, isn’t a real thing. Jay got a little closer to what was really happening in the video: “This looks like a social commentary or a walking art exhibit I’m too uncultured to understand,” he wrote, before NIMM nailed it on the head: “Maybe it's like a stimulation thing. Like I need to scroll because I'm addicted but I'm trying to cut down on my scrolling?”
What is a methaphone?
In a follow-up video, AskCatGPT, explained that her video was a promotion for the methaphone, a clear acrylic block that feels just like a smartphone, but has zero functionality. It was developed by Eric Antonow, a friend of the influencer, who aimed to spark a conversation about smartphone addiction. The big question was: "If we're all so addicted to our phones, then could you potentially curb someone's addiction by replacing the feeling of having a phone in your pocket with something that feels exactly the same?"
CatGpt clearly knows why the video of the woman with an invisible phone struck a chord with so many people. “This little piece of acrylic feels like a physical artifact that directly responds to this collective tension we all feel about how our devices, which are meant to make us more connected, are actually having the exact opposite effect,” she explained.
She went on to say that after carrying the methaphone with her for a few weeks, it hasn’t curbed her smartphone use, but, much like her video, it has brought up an important conversation about smartphone addiction and the role that our phones play in our lives.
Are Americans worried about their smartphone use?
It makes sense that the majority of Americans are concerned about their smartphone use. A 2022 Gallup poll found that 58% of adults said they used their smartphone “too much,” a big jump from the 39% who said the same thing in 2015. This isn’t just a problem for younger people. Seventy-four percent of people ages 30 to 49 say they use their phone “too much,” just 7% less than those in the 18 to 29 age bracket.
Antonow was smart to give CatGpt a methaphone to share in her videos because his IndieGogo manufacturing campaign has earned him all the cash it needs to produce 80 of them. But given the popularity of the TikTok video, he should probably make a few more than he initially thought.