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8 thoughtful Halloween traditions kids with anxiety or disabilities may love.

For young kids, Halloween should be fun-scary. Not scary-scary.

While your child might do just fine with elaborate costumes, frightening yard displays, and stuffing their face with as much sugary candy as possible, there are many, many others for whom Halloween poses unique challenges.

In the U.S., 1 in 13 children have a serious food allergy, for example, and 1 in 68 have an autism spectrum disorder. And about 1 in 20 school-aged children in the U.S. have a significant physical or mental disability. It all starts to add up, and many of these issues may not be outwardly visible.


If you're hosting a Halloween party, putting up some last-minute decorations, or even just gearing up for trick-or-treaters, here's a few super simple things you can do to make this Halloween more inclusive, accessible, welcoming, and just generally awesome for every kid to participate in:

1. Fruity candies are great for everyone, but especially for kids with food allergies.

[rebelmouse-image 19532834 dam="1" original_size="5000x3333" caption="Photo by Foodie Factor/Pexels." expand=1]Photo by Foodie Factor/Pexels.

Peanut allergies get all the glory, but kids can be allergic to nearly anything. Common food allergies include peanuts, eggs, dairy, and gluten. Some families of candy, however, are safer bets than others.

Fruity candies, like Sour Patch Kids, gummy bears, Skittles, and Starburst, are a great thing to pass out for this very reason, but you can also find special kinds of chocolate made from hypoallergenic ingredients too.

There's nothing wrong with handing out Snickers, Twix, and the usual candy suspects, but if you're looking to offer some other options or want to pick just one kind of candy that pretty much anyone can enjoy, fruity candies are usually a safe bet.

2. Candy may be traditional, but nonedible treats are a good trick-or-treat option too.

In the case of severe allergies, it might be easier for some families to just avoid candy and sweets altogether — a potentially major bummer on a holiday almost entirely based around candy.

But there's a simple solution! Pick up some stickers, crayons, or other small nonedible treats (you can usually find them cheap, in bulk in the party supplies aisle) and offer those as trick-or-treating options alongside or instead of candy.

If you do this, consider putting a teal pumpkin outside your door or near the sidewalk. This signals to trick-or-treaters that you have non-edible treats to offer — letting everyone knows not to skip your house.

[rebelmouse-image 19532835 dam="1" original_size="3934x2623" caption="Photo via Food Allergy Research & Education." expand=1]Photo via Food Allergy Research & Education.

3. Having a party? Perhaps set aside a "quiet down room" to give kids a space to get away from the crowd.

A raucous Halloween party with movies and music blaring and kids running around can be overwhelming for anyone, especially young kids with anxiety or hypersensitivity issues.

Consider closing off a room in your house as a quiet and nonspooky zone where kids can just go to chill out. This might be a good place to have low-key crafts or just dimmed lights and a comfy place to sit.

For hyposensitive kids, on the other hand...

4. Offer a variety of hands-on Halloween games and activities that keep kids engaged.

Kids who are hyposensitive are understimulated by the world around them and may prefer tactile activities like sticking their hands in a bowl of peeled grapes to simulate eyeballs, for example.

Child psychologist Dawn Huebner recommends having some games available that aren't purely based on winning or losing too and activities where shy or anxious kids can help (i.e., by passing out supplies or keeping score) without fully participating if they aren't comfortable.

5. For kids who can't get up to your porch or front walkway, bring the candy to them.

If you have a porch or stoop with steps, it might be hard for some kids who use assistance devices (like wheelchairs or walkers) to come up and knock on the door. Consider sitting at the bottom close to the sidewalk or street and handing out candy during peak hours or leaving a bowl closer to the street if you can't be there in person.

You can even rent a ramp for the day, if you're so ... inclined.

6. Remember that costumes and dress-up aren't comfortable for everyone — try not to judge costumes at the door.

We've all seen the teenagers who come trick-or-treating and their "costume" is a paper bag over their heads, and we all know they're just in it for the free candy.

But try not to play costume police, especially with younger kids. After all, trick-or-treating shouldn't be a costume competition. Some kids with anxiety, sensory issues, or even just kids who are really shy might be more comfortable in something that looks, to you, like a half-hearted or lazy get-up. For them, it might be the only reason they were willing to leave the house.

A simple and heartfelt, "You look great!" will go a long way.

7. Have some dedicated "mask off" time.

This might be a little much. Photo by Thomas Roberts/Unsplash.

Super frightening or gory costumes can scare any kid, but Huebner says, "It can be hard to predict what's going to be frightening for a child," noting that often even silly or goofy masks can be very scary for certain kids.

Consider having some periods of mask off time to re-establish comfort.

"For kids who are more broadly afraid, being able to see 'This is a mask and it comes on and off and there's a person inside of it' can be reassuring," she says.

If you're really dedicated to a truly spooky halloween and don't want to take the mask off — see #3 "have a quiet room" above or consider putting a sign by your front walkway alerting parents that their kids might not enjoy trick-or-treating from you.

8. Other parents will definitely appreciate seeing a party agenda in advance.

There's really no way for you to prepare for every possible issue that might arise during a party, gathering, or haunted house, nor should you be expected to have a contingency plan for every single thing that might come up. No one knows kids better than their own parents though.

If you're worried that you might not have something on hand to make your party great for everyone, sending a party agenda in advance is a great way to give parents a chance to prepare their kids for what to expect.

"It works best if hosts are clear in invitations, so families can make decisions about whether they want to go," Huebner says. "Anxious kids, and really all kids, do really, really well with previewing. With being told in advance what's going to happen. It's still exciting, but it's less likely to be really terrifying in a way that isn't fun."

Halloween is a fun, spooky holiday, but it's more fun when everyone can participate.

Feeling a little bit spooked on All Hallows' Eve is great, but it shouldn't be traumatizing. Kids shouldn't be made to feel they're in real danger or that they're being left out of the fun. No one wants that.

Making your Halloween celebrations inclusive and welcoming to everyone doesn't mean doing away with any of your favorite Halloween traditions. All it takes is a little extra thought and some simple preparations to make sure everyone has as awesome time as you do.

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

All screenshots from @lakynbowman on TikTok.

It was Grandma’s 71st birthday, and granddaughter Lakyn Bowman came up with the cutest, cleverest and most thoughtful way to honor the occasion.

Bowman (@lakynbowman) shared in a TikTok video that after going through old photos, she realized just how much they both looked alike. And so, to thank grandma for passing down the good genes, she decided to recreate each signature look. After a few rounds with a curling iron, some pale blue eyeshadow, and throwing on some charming floral prints (plus some filter wizardry to give the pics that retro look) the resemblance is just uncanny.

People were delighted to see such a loving tribute. The video quickly racked up over 8 million views, with more than a few comments talking about how emotional the tribute made them. Can’t say I blame 'em.

Screenshot of a comment

Such a heartwarming tribute obviously moved some to tears.

TikTok

But how did grandma feel about it? Well, in a follow-up video, we see a genuine ear-to-ear smile. Suffice it to say, the idea was a hit.

As one person wrote to Bowman, “you’ll never be able to top this gift.”

It certainly helps that Bowman is vintage savvy. She even helps others find amazing secondhand items through her company Nine Oh Six. So getting the clothes and accessories was a piece of old-fashioned pineapple upside-down cake. And the results were just as sweet. Take a look below:

@lakynbowman Happy birthday, Grandma! Thanks for the good genes. 💕 #recreate#photoshoot #birthdayphotoshoot #vintage #grandma ♬ What Once Was - Her's
@lakynbowman

Reply to @katemason06 The audio didn’t save. 😭 But here’s her reaction. I love her so much! 💕

These videos are not only an instant dash of joy, it’s also a heartwarming reminder that our elders provide the prologue to our life stories. Honoring them can be as simple or creative as we want them to be, but be sure to include them. As we can see with this grandma-granddaughter duo, it’ll mean the world to them.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

Man praised for not switching seats with dad traveling with daughter

Airlines charge for everything but breathing nowadays so people tend to be protective of their seat assignments. They picked them with their own hands with their needs and preferences in mind before paying the extra money to confirm the seating. Choosing your own seat can range from $5-$80 extra per ticket depending on where in the cabin you choose to sit, barring first class options.

It's for this reason that people aren't keen on trading their seats with someone who chose to let the airline auto-assign a seat for them. This doesn't stop people from asking unsuspecting fellow travelers to swap seats with them, likely relying on the social pressure of the situation to coax a yes. But one man refused to be swayed, even when the other passenger points out that he would like to sit next to his minor daughter which may have been enough to encourage others to oblige the request.

The passenger who was being asked to move had already paid additional money to sit in an aisle seat he explains, "I always book an aisle seat. My company allows me to add the small surcharge for an aisle seat (it was $18). I sat early and this guy comes with his daughter. His daughter had the middle seat next to me. He had another middle seat elsewhere. He asked to switch with me. I said I would if he had an aisle seat. He said he has a middle seat."

Season 9 Ugh GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy

The middle seat is typically the least desirable seat due to being stuck between two other passengers, no designated armrest and nothing to comfortably lean your head on should you fall asleep. Waking up only to realize you've been asleep on a stranger's shoulder can make for an awkward interaction, so there's no surprise the man didn't want to trade seats with the dad on those details alone. But the man didn't choose the aisle seat because he was afraid of drooling on the shoulder of a fellow passenger.

"I said sorry, I am a big guy (6 feet, 260+ pounds), I am [un]comfortable in middle seat. It's a 4.5 hour flight," the befuddled passenger shares before adding. "I explained I am physically uncomfortable in the middle. The aisle gives me more room."

Giphy

One might think the interaction would end there but it didn't. According to the six-foot-tall man, the dad then involved a flight attendant to encourage him to give up his seat so the dad could sit next to his child. But the man continued to refuse the dad's request which resulted in the dad having to sit in his original seat and the teenage girl being seated next to the original man. He had no desire to be uncomfortable for a fairly long flight and while he was expecting for people to disagree with his actions, they were overwhelmingly on his side.

"You paid extra for that aisle seat, and it’s your comfort on a long flight. The guy should've booked better seats if he wanted to sit next to his daughter. Plus, it’s not your job to accommodate his poor planning," one person writes.

No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy

"If you want to sit together, pay for the seats. Good for you, people like that need to learn they cant have their cake and eat it too," someone else says.

"I hate it when a FA asks you to move one you've already said no. They should stand by their company who sold you the seat and reiterate that to the person asking," another chimes in.

pushing air travel GIFGiphy

"I’ve been in the situation traveling, when my kids were small and flights were canceled, etc. that we were seated separately. When you REALLY do NEED compassion, people are generally OK with it and they are understanding and will likely move if able. I’ve also raised my kids to be independent and as teenagers they would have been just fine. In a case where it really is a need (like a special needs teen), the airline owes its passengers some sort of a solution like upgrading an inconvenienced traveller," someone else adds.

The man does admit that maybe the dad assumed the solo traveler would be inappropriate with his daughter saying, "Maybe he thought I was some creeper? I AM NOT. I popped a prescription muscle relaxer, put on relaxing music on my earphones and zoned out." In the end the man did not give up his seat and the teen girl and her father were both fine sitting in the seats assigned to them.

Life is bigger than the U.S.!

Dreaming about moving to another country and starting over is no longer just a dream for some people. A growing number of millennial expats are finding their American dream in another country. And they're taking to social media to invite us to follow their journeys. Living comfortably in America is merely a dream for most people, so seeing expats doing it in other countries is inspiring more people than ever to seek a better life than they can achieve in the United States elsewhere.

Influencer and educator Olumide Gbenro has made a life in Bali that would be unattainable to most Americans. When Gbenro was around 13, his family immigrated to Columbus, Ohio after living in London. Gberno spent the first six years of his life in his home country of Nigeria, so relocating was not new to him. Before deciding to leave it all behind as an adult, Olumide was on a different path. A path his parents had set before him, but one he didn't want to follow.

In 2016, Gberno graduated with two master’s degrees from San Diego State University. One master’s was in epidemiology and the other in behavioral sciences. The new graduate was primed to go on for his PhD just as his parents wanted, but enrolling in a PhD program meant traveling the world would be off the table and the soon to be expat wasn’t ready to give up on it. The choice then became to become a doctor or travel, and since traveling was in his blood it was a no-brainer.

Gberno told CNBC Make It, “All of my life, I just followed the rules, whether it was from my parents, religion or society,” he says. “But deep down I knew that if I took the position in the PhD program, I could never go back, I could never travel abroad...I’d be stuck to a lab, so I decided to say ‘no.’” Shortly after coming to the conclusion that a PhD wasn’t for him, he packed up his belongings and headed out of the country.

Olumide took some time in a few other locations before settling in Bali; the new expat first stopped in Berlin on a three month tourist visa, staying in hostels and couch surfing at friends' houses. Gberno didn’t have much savings when he left America, so not working wasn’t an option, and eventually he struck success with his online business in social media marketing. He was able to grow his Instagram following fairly quickly by posting photos of his adventures and dance videos. With a larger following, he started reaching out to other creators and businesses offering to help improve their social media strategy for the small fee of $250. Eventually, it enabled him to turn it into a lucrative business that helps sustain his lifestyle.

After Olumide’s three months in Berlin were up, he traveled to Mexico and then back to San Diego where he launched his business, Olumide Gbenro PR & Brand Monetization, in 2018. While scrolling through Instagram he saw a post from a friend visiting Bali at the time. The scenery appealed to him, so he decided to go. After many flights back and forth to Singapore and Malaysia to extend his visa 30 days at a time, he was granted an investors visa.

Gberno earns about $140,000 a year and his biggest expense is his rent and utilities which total $1,010 a month. He spends about $600 a month on take out and eating at restaurants and continues to travel at least once a month. Gberno told CNBC “I’m probably spending about the same amount of money I would each month if I was living in San Diego, but my quality of living is much higher,” he says. “I’m living a life of luxury.”

These expats make living abroad look like a feasible goal and for some it is. Be warned that following these adventurous souls on social media may make you want to pack a few bags and never look back.


This article originally appeared three years ago.