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7 lessons for 2017, so we don't make the same big mistakes we made in 2016.

Everything was supposed to get better after 2016.

2017, or so we thought. Photo by Alice Popkorn/Flickr.

When the history books are written, we believed this year would stand apart as uniquely awful. Annus horribilis. The year from hell. Bad things happened to good people. Great people passed away. Hurricanes raged. Fires burned. "Independence Day: Resurgence" failed to capture the magic of the original.


But we hoped, prayed, and frankly, assumed, that on December 31, the sky would open up, angelic choirs would sing, and we would be ushered naked and weeping into the 2017 utopia of our dreams.

Yet, in 2016's final, cruelest twist: It's pretty clear that ain't gonna happen now. At least for a lot of us.

True, Donald Trump's supporters are cracking beers, cueing up old DVR'ed episodes of "Celebrity Apprentice," and settling in for four years of the greatering again of America.

But those people whose lives and values came under threat in the election — Muslims, women, immigrants, people of color, among others — are preparing for a much harder road ahead.

It's easy to look back on all this and feel hopeless and helpless. For so many people around the world, the relief expected at the end of the year won't deliver itself. The thing is, we're not hopeless and helpless. We never were, and we aren't now. The idea that 2016 was simply fated to be horrendous is a myth — one that's more than a little self-serving. And if you look between the cracks, it wasn't all bad.

Indeed, while many of us spent 2016 sitting on our respective couches tweeting about this supposedly inevitably terrible, no good, death trap of a year, others were out working to change the specific, real-life things they thought were bad. And they did! Sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse, but they stopped complaining about how horrible 2016 was, packed their bags, got in the streets, and showed up.

The real lesson of 2016? We can't count on the stuff we don't like to just change on its own.

2016 is almost wrapped, and while it might be too late for a do-over, it's not too late to learn, memorize, and internalize these seven lessons to make sure we don't repeat the same mistakes in 2017.

1. We need to show up and vote.

Yep. This is happening. Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

Say what you want about Donald Trump (I certainly have) — but his victory in November's election shocked the world — including, seemingly, many members of his own staff. After stumbling through three debates, launching feuds with private citizens, and nearly imploding over a leaked "Access Hollywood" tape, his campaign was disorganized, rudderless, and trailing in the polls in nearly every key state.

How did he pull it off? Trump's supporters wanted change, and they showed up and voted in the places where it counted (for what it's worth, nearly 3 million more Hillary Clinton voters showed up nationwide — but had the unfortunate luck to live in the wrong states).

Amid Trump's stunning upset, however, progressives managed to let loose a small ray of hope. In North Carolina, voters showed up and voted to reject a vicious anti-LGBTQ law by firing Gov. Pat McCrory, who signed it.

North Carolina Governor-elect Roy Cooper. Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images.

The groundwork for McCrory's defeat was laid way back in 2013, before the law even passed, by William Barber's Moral Mondays movement, which spent countless hours mobilizing citizens across class, gender, and racial lines to demand economic and social justice. Those citizens marched, organized, showed up, and — three years later, amid the horror of 2016 — won.

2. We need to show up in person.  

Protesters at Standing Rock. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

This lesson wasn't lost on the thousands of people who showed up in person at an isolated Indian reservation in the Dakotas to fight the construction of an oil pipeline on sovereign land and, after months of dedicated protest, won a major concession from the U.S. government.

Nor was it lost on thousands of women in Iceland, who showed up in person to walk off the job in protest of unequal pay and got the world's attention.

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

Nor was it lost on the hundreds of Americans who showed up in person to rally behind their fellow citizens as hate incidents rose around the country.

A man stood outside a mosque in Dallas holding a sign saying, "You Belong." After an incident where a stranger threatened to light a female student's hijab on fire, students at the University of Michigan showed up to shield Muslim classmates who were praying. Students at the University of Kansas offered to walk their classmates of color to class. In Allen, Texas, a stranger left signs of support outside a local mosque. Churches across America are gearing up to protect immigrant families from abuse.

3. We need to not show up when showing up would mean compromising our values.

Spike Lee. Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images.

Back in January, director Spike Lee and actor Jada Pinkett Smith announced they would be boycotting the Oscars after no actors of color were nominated in acting categories for the second straight year. Thousands of Twitter users showed up in support with the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite.

In response, the academy ... actually made changes. The organization announced it would expand its board and review members' voting qualifications every 10 years, with the goal of expanding the number of women members and members of color by 2020.

4. We need to show up and do the things we really don't want to do that make us uncomfortable or even embarrassed — for the greater good.

Do you think Barack Obama wanted to make nice, shake hands, and have his picture taken with Donald Trump?

We're all so incredibly happy. Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

After the guy questioned Obama's citizenship, savaged his character, and called his 2012 election victory a lie? President Obama could have told Trump to screw off until January — and he would have been more than justified. But he sucked it up and has been giving the guy free presidenting lessons ever since. Not because he wants to — because God knows he almost definitely doesn't — but because he knows America needs its president to have at least a ballpark understanding of what they're doing. That's showing up.

Do you think Mitt Romney wanted to beg Donald Trump — a man he accused of "trickle-down racism" — for a position in his cabinet?

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

Do you think Romney wanted to suck up to Trump for a week and take back all the things he said that he almost surely still believes are true? Do you think he wanted to become a demeaning meme? Of course not. But he did it anyway because he's a dedicated public servant who knows his experience at the State Department would be a critical asset to an administration staffed with policy neophytes with wacky ideas. He probably knew that, in all likelihood, Trump wouldn't nominate him. He probably figured there was a chance the whole charade was concocted to humiliate him.

But he showed up and embarrassed himself on the ludicrously off chance Trump might really give him the job, putting an actual decent, thoughtful, qualified person in charge of one of the most important levers of U.S. foreign policy.

That's really showing up.  

5. We need to show up to experiences that burst our filter bubbles.

Photo by Steve Pope.

Showing up at "Hamilton," probably wasn't what you'd expect from Vice President-elect Mike Pence. As a congressman and governor, Pence was notorious for advancing anti-LGBTQ legislation and likely expected that sitting down to watch a musical about the contributions of immigrants to America's founding on Broadway, a capital of LGBTQ culture, would invite controversy. Sure enough, Pence was greeted by a chorus of boos when he appeared in the theater. And after the curtain call, actor Brandon Victor Dixon addressed the vice president-elect, respectfully, but uncompromisingly, from the stage:

"We, sir — we — are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights," Dixon said. "We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us."

But Pence listened and heard him out. And in a post-performance interview on Fox News, Pence said he "wasn't offended by what was said" and described the pre-show booing as "what freedom sounds like."

The musical probably didn't change Pence's mind on much of anything. And the cast's speech hasn't seemed to shift the vice president-elect's rhetoric on immigration, criminal justice reform, or LGBTQ rights. But Pence stepped out of his comfort zone and listened. He deserves at least some credit for that.  

6. And we need to show up to help other people to burst their filter bubbles.

Beyoncé and the Dixie Chicks at the CMAs. Photo by Nick Diamond/Getty Images.

Despite being the uncontested queen of everyone and everything, Beyoncé's performance at November's Country Music Awards became a lightning rod for fans of the genre. Criticisms ran the gamut from political (she's too liberal!) to aesthetic (she's insufficiently country!) to straight-up racist (black people don't belong in country music).

Here's the thing: Beyoncé can perform anywhere she wants. She's arguably the most famous human on the planet. She didn't need to show up to do a free show for people who mostly want her to go away. But she did it anyway. She did it knowing that the audience wouldn't necessarily be friendly to her. True to form, many weren't.

But many others listened, liked what they heard, and had their minds and tastes expanded. More importantly, their idea of what a country singer can look and sound like was forever changed.

It was a brave move for Beyoncé (and for the Dixie Chicks, who backed up Queen Bey, having been shunned by country audiences for their opposition to the Iraq War over a decade ago). Beyoncé leveraged her massive global fame to send a powerful message for inclusion that resonated with millions of viewers.

7. We need to show up now, when it counts, before it's too late.

Do not deny Prince-from-Beyond! Photo by Kristian Dowling/Getty Images.

We lost a lot of great people in 2016. There will never be another Prince, or David Bowie, or Alan Rickman, or Leonard Cohen, or Gwen Ifill, or John Glenn. But in a way, their passings aren't just tragedies — taken together, they're a call to arms.

Life is fleeting. If we want to make the world a better place, we have to get on it ASAP and show up now — not tomorrow, not a week from now, not in April when things calm down or start to feel normal. We all have limited time on Earth, and it matters, now more than ever, what we do with it.

2016 was a bad year for too many people around the world: We can't just wait, commiserate, post rueful memes, and hope that the next year will be better. We all have to go out and make it so.

2017 is coming, whether we want it to or not. Will it be better?

That's up to us.

party, chatting, likable, drinks small talk, men and women

A woman speaking with two men at a party.

When we think of someone likable, we often imagine a person with a big personality who's the life of the party. We conjure up images of social butterflies and people who keep everyone at the dinner party glued to their every word when they tell a story. The funny thing is, according to research, that's not really the case.

Studies show that the easiest way to make someone like you is to show interest by asking questions during the conversation and making it clear that you like them. People also really love those who come off as genuine.


Michael Gendler, a co-founder of Ultraspeaking, a platform that helps people master the art of public speaking, recently shared three "magic" phrases that make you more likable, all of which align with what science tells us.

Three phrases that make you more likable

Phrase 1: "Here's what really scares me..."

This phrase resonates with people because it shows you're genuine by admitting your vulnerability. "Man, talk about your feats, real fears, not like 'Oh, I'm scared I'm going to be too successful.' Tell us about something that actually scares you. Don't be guarded. Be open, and other people will appreciate that," Gendler says.

Phrase 2: "You know what I really like about you?"

This phrase makes people like you because it counters a psychological phenomenon known as signal amplification bias, which suggests we tend to overestimate how clearly we express our feelings to others. This means that, many times, when we think others know we like them, they may not be so sure. So a little assurance goes a long way toward showing them the feeling is mutual. "People love being complimented as long as it is genuine," Gendler says.


Phrase 3: "Tell me more"

As Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Make Friends and Influence People, the key to interacting with others is focusing on being interested in them rather than trying to impress them by being interesting. "Be interested, not interesting," Carnegie writes.

A Harvard study supports this, showing that when you first start speaking with someone, you should follow your first question with two more. People who do this are rated as much more likable than those who, after one question, shift the conversation to themselves. "People love feeling like what they're saying is interesting. So invite them to speak more," Gendler continues.


Don't forget to be genuine

Ultraspeaking's post is a breath of fresh air for those who aren't comfortable trying to impress others at parties, on dates, or in the office. The video shows that if you make people feel important, they're much more likely to like you in return. The key is that it has to come from the heart.

"Remember, don't just use these phrases and expect them to work," Gendler says. "They have to be genuine and open. That's what makes people likable."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture

Business idioms that you can totally use in your real workplace.

It seems that the higher up you ascend in your career, the more you grow to love a good business catchphrase, buzzword, or idiom. Working in an office will have you saying things like "let's kick this off," "let's circle back on this," and "let's not boil the ocean here" in no time.

Idioms, while they can get annoying when overused (especially in the workplace), do serve a helpful purpose. They're a sort of fun shorthand, conveying a lot of meaning in a few words. While idioms act as analogies or metaphors that give more context to a situation, they also come with a lot of history: when you hear one, you remember all the times you've heard it before or even used it yourself. It instantly contextualizes what's going on and quickly helps us understand what someone may be communicating.


However, run-of-the-mill workplace idioms have gotten a little stale, to the point that many of them have become meaningless cliches. We could all use some new ones, and luckily, folks on social media are chiming in with some ridiculous creations of their own.

It all started when an X user named Tomie shared what would go on to become a hugely viral post: "I've started saying nonsense phrases at work like 'that's neither cheese nor cheddar' just to see my coworkers nod seriously like they understand."

Tomie added in another post, "Like woah there, pause the pineapples."

The post received nearly 2 million views and hundreds of comments on X. Soon, it made its way to the professional crowd on LinkedIn, where people began building on Tomie's original suggestions.

Daniel Berk added a few of his own:

"Let's not microwave the lasagna on this one."

"We might be polishing the doorknob instead of opening the door."

"This feels like we're alphabetizing water."

"Let's not put racing stripes on a parked car."

"That's a lot of garnish for no entrée."

"We're measuring the shadow, not the object."


Noah Latner chimed in with:

"Let's not settle in before we buy the house."

"That lollipop isn't worth the lick."

"You've got to put the patty on the grill before it sizzles."

"This banana's got no peel to it."

"Don't juice a pickle and tell me it's matcha."

Sally Thomas writes, "One of my finest achievements was in a previous company where the manager was full of buzzwords. I got him to adopt 'It depends how you fold your napkin' as a favourite saying."

Jennifer Connelly suggested: "Let's sauce these nugs later!"

Cameron Gibbons said, "I'm not sure where it started, but one exec at Google said 'let's double click into that' and it spread like wildfire through the org."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "That banana's got no peel to it." Giphy

Liora Kern cooked up a few idioms that paid homage to different languages and cultures:

"Dutch version:
1. That's a lot of hagelslag on a very thin slice of bread.
2. It's a three bicycles beat one car type of thing.

Belgian version:
1. We're agreeing on the fries because agreeing on the sauces is harder.
2. We're arguing over the glass instead of the beer."

idioms, catchphrases, buzzwords, english language, english, office, workplace, corporate culture "We’re arguing over the glass instead of the beer." Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Here are a few more from the creative minds on X:

"The last nail is the rustiest one."

"Two claps and the goat's up the hill"

"Let's toss this idea into the piranha bin."

"I'm pulling the porcupine here."

"This is all bags and boxes."

"The proof is in the parmesan."

"There's a rock behind every bush."

"There's more to being a dog than sleeping under the porch."

The funniest part about these made-up, nonsense idioms is that they kind of make sense.

Some of the idioms brainstormed by random commenters are variations of existing catchphrases, or combinations of multiple different ones ("It's not exactly rocket surgery."). But many are complete gibberish, and yet our brains still seek out and manage to find some semblance of meaning in them.

YouTube English teacher Aly says that "corporate English" is like its own language. Speaking the secret code with confidence, and pretending to understand it even when you don't, are key to success. In fact, one recent study found that more than half of employees regularly "pretend" to be working. So if you've ever felt self-conscious because you were in over your head at work or didn't know what the higher-ups were talking about, rest assured there's a good chance they were faking it, too.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

One commenter on Tomie's original post summed it up perfectly: "Office culture accepts nonsense when said confidently and calmly."

Another added, "The only way to survive corporate America is to understand its 90% make believe."

Delivering a totally made-up, nonsense business idiom with full confidence is one sure way to make people perk up and take notice of how brilliant you are.

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.


Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams, laughing, psychic, viral videos
Photo Credit: Canva, The Montel Williams Show

People laugh while scrolling their phone. Sylvia Browne looks concerned.

If you lived through the '90s and early aughts and happened to watch The Montel Williams Show or Larry King Live, you probably remember their "resident psychic," Sylvia Browne. With her flaxen blonde hair and very short bangs, Browne claimed to be a medium for "angels" and purported to be clairvoyant when audience members asked her questions.

Of course, it wasn't just Millennials watching. Many members of previous generations would, often secretly, enjoy her segments with abandon like a sci-fi zombie B-movie. It wasn't until we had a little hindsight that we could measure her extremely confident-sounding statements and understand that...many of them simply were not true.


Near the end of last year, people who grew up in this era began making compilations of some of Browne's most outrageous, inappropriate, and often laughably wrong predictions. The trend went so incredibly viral that it has picked up steam again, and these clips continue making the rounds.

In one montage of clips, we see person after person bravely stand up and ask Sylvia questions. Often they'll ask about someone who has gone missing. Browne's answers are curt and to the point. "He drowned" seems to be a big one. To one woman who asked about her father, Sylvia matter-of-factly states, "He's alive. He's in Florida."

A common question Montel often asked after Browne's declarations was, "Does that make sense?" Usually the answer was, "No, but thank you," as the audience member gingerly took their seat.

The best part of watching these clips continue to go viral is the communal joy it's bringing to the comment sections (not to mention the nostalgia and the jokes). One person writes that their life schedule was dependent on whether or not Browne was booked as a guest that day. "If Sylvia was on, I'd skip school."

psychic, Sylvia Browne, Montel Williams., Larry King, Mean Girls Amanda Seyfried in a scene from the movie Mean Girls. Giphy, Paramount Pictures

This person jokes after seeing the woman who was told her father has been in Florida for decades: "Her dad in Florida watching this: Darn it!"

Another acknowledges Browne's go-to answer. "Sylvia, I forgot my middle name…." "It drowned." "Okay, thank you."

And here's another spin on it: "5 years ago my father went missing while climbing Mount Everest I was wonde....." "He drowned in the Titanic." "Thank you."

Over on Threads, @Robbylernan posted quite a few Browne clips, claiming, "I went down a Sylvia Browne rabbit hole last night and I laughed my a-- off for an hour."

One person on the thread reminisces about their favorite Browne moment: "The best one was when she told that reporter that the girl in the picture was kidnapped and dead and the reporter said, 'That picture is me.' And she looked at the woman and said, 'You weren't kidnapped?' BRUHHH."

Note: Her predictions weren't all completely wrong. In fact, The Daily Mail recently shared a Browne prediction that went viral during the COVID-19 pandemic. Browne reportedly stated, "In around 2020, a severe pneumonia-like illness will spread throughout the globe, attacking the lungs and bronchial tubes and resisting all known treatments."

That said, skeptics debunked her claims for years. In a piece for TV Insider, freelance entertainment Martin Holmes reminds readers of the time "Browne told Louwanna Miller her missing daughter, Amanda Berry, was 'not alive,' explaining to the distraught mother, 'Your daughter's not the kind who wouldn't call.'" Holmes adds, "Berry was found alive in 2013 after she escaped years of captivity."

In 2010, Skeptical Inquirer Magazine noted, "Despite her repeated claims to be more than 85 percent correct," a study reported that "Browne has not even been mostly correct in a single case."

Wrong or right, it's the wrongness that seems to bring the most delight to those who are dipping into the nostalgia. Even Saturday Night Live got in on the fun.

Amy Poehler spoofs Sylvia Browne on SNL. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC Universal