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7 lessons for 2017, so we don't make the same big mistakes we made in 2016.

Everything was supposed to get better after 2016.

2017, or so we thought. Photo by Alice Popkorn/Flickr.

When the history books are written, we believed this year would stand apart as uniquely awful. Annus horribilis. The year from hell. Bad things happened to good people. Great people passed away. Hurricanes raged. Fires burned. "Independence Day: Resurgence" failed to capture the magic of the original.


But we hoped, prayed, and frankly, assumed, that on December 31, the sky would open up, angelic choirs would sing, and we would be ushered naked and weeping into the 2017 utopia of our dreams.

Yet, in 2016's final, cruelest twist: It's pretty clear that ain't gonna happen now. At least for a lot of us.

True, Donald Trump's supporters are cracking beers, cueing up old DVR'ed episodes of "Celebrity Apprentice," and settling in for four years of the greatering again of America.

But those people whose lives and values came under threat in the election — Muslims, women, immigrants, people of color, among others — are preparing for a much harder road ahead.

It's easy to look back on all this and feel hopeless and helpless. For so many people around the world, the relief expected at the end of the year won't deliver itself. The thing is, we're not hopeless and helpless. We never were, and we aren't now. The idea that 2016 was simply fated to be horrendous is a myth — one that's more than a little self-serving. And if you look between the cracks, it wasn't all bad.

Indeed, while many of us spent 2016 sitting on our respective couches tweeting about this supposedly inevitably terrible, no good, death trap of a year, others were out working to change the specific, real-life things they thought were bad. And they did! Sometimes for the better, sometimes for worse, but they stopped complaining about how horrible 2016 was, packed their bags, got in the streets, and showed up.

The real lesson of 2016? We can't count on the stuff we don't like to just change on its own.

2016 is almost wrapped, and while it might be too late for a do-over, it's not too late to learn, memorize, and internalize these seven lessons to make sure we don't repeat the same mistakes in 2017.

1. We need to show up and vote.

Yep. This is happening. Photo by Jim Watson/Getty Images.

Say what you want about Donald Trump (I certainly have) — but his victory in November's election shocked the world — including, seemingly, many members of his own staff. After stumbling through three debates, launching feuds with private citizens, and nearly imploding over a leaked "Access Hollywood" tape, his campaign was disorganized, rudderless, and trailing in the polls in nearly every key state.

How did he pull it off? Trump's supporters wanted change, and they showed up and voted in the places where it counted (for what it's worth, nearly 3 million more Hillary Clinton voters showed up nationwide — but had the unfortunate luck to live in the wrong states).

Amid Trump's stunning upset, however, progressives managed to let loose a small ray of hope. In North Carolina, voters showed up and voted to reject a vicious anti-LGBTQ law by firing Gov. Pat McCrory, who signed it.

North Carolina Governor-elect Roy Cooper. Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images.

The groundwork for McCrory's defeat was laid way back in 2013, before the law even passed, by William Barber's Moral Mondays movement, which spent countless hours mobilizing citizens across class, gender, and racial lines to demand economic and social justice. Those citizens marched, organized, showed up, and — three years later, amid the horror of 2016 — won.

2. We need to show up in person.  

Protesters at Standing Rock. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

This lesson wasn't lost on the thousands of people who showed up in person at an isolated Indian reservation in the Dakotas to fight the construction of an oil pipeline on sovereign land and, after months of dedicated protest, won a major concession from the U.S. government.

Nor was it lost on thousands of women in Iceland, who showed up in person to walk off the job in protest of unequal pay and got the world's attention.

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

Nor was it lost on the hundreds of Americans who showed up in person to rally behind their fellow citizens as hate incidents rose around the country.

A man stood outside a mosque in Dallas holding a sign saying, "You Belong." After an incident where a stranger threatened to light a female student's hijab on fire, students at the University of Michigan showed up to shield Muslim classmates who were praying. Students at the University of Kansas offered to walk their classmates of color to class. In Allen, Texas, a stranger left signs of support outside a local mosque. Churches across America are gearing up to protect immigrant families from abuse.

3. We need to not show up when showing up would mean compromising our values.

Spike Lee. Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images.

Back in January, director Spike Lee and actor Jada Pinkett Smith announced they would be boycotting the Oscars after no actors of color were nominated in acting categories for the second straight year. Thousands of Twitter users showed up in support with the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite.

In response, the academy ... actually made changes. The organization announced it would expand its board and review members' voting qualifications every 10 years, with the goal of expanding the number of women members and members of color by 2020.

4. We need to show up and do the things we really don't want to do that make us uncomfortable or even embarrassed — for the greater good.

Do you think Barack Obama wanted to make nice, shake hands, and have his picture taken with Donald Trump?

We're all so incredibly happy. Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.

After the guy questioned Obama's citizenship, savaged his character, and called his 2012 election victory a lie? President Obama could have told Trump to screw off until January — and he would have been more than justified. But he sucked it up and has been giving the guy free presidenting lessons ever since. Not because he wants to — because God knows he almost definitely doesn't — but because he knows America needs its president to have at least a ballpark understanding of what they're doing. That's showing up.

Do you think Mitt Romney wanted to beg Donald Trump — a man he accused of "trickle-down racism" — for a position in his cabinet?

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

Do you think Romney wanted to suck up to Trump for a week and take back all the things he said that he almost surely still believes are true? Do you think he wanted to become a demeaning meme? Of course not. But he did it anyway because he's a dedicated public servant who knows his experience at the State Department would be a critical asset to an administration staffed with policy neophytes with wacky ideas. He probably knew that, in all likelihood, Trump wouldn't nominate him. He probably figured there was a chance the whole charade was concocted to humiliate him.

But he showed up and embarrassed himself on the ludicrously off chance Trump might really give him the job, putting an actual decent, thoughtful, qualified person in charge of one of the most important levers of U.S. foreign policy.

That's really showing up.  

5. We need to show up to experiences that burst our filter bubbles.

Photo by Steve Pope.

Showing up at "Hamilton," probably wasn't what you'd expect from Vice President-elect Mike Pence. As a congressman and governor, Pence was notorious for advancing anti-LGBTQ legislation and likely expected that sitting down to watch a musical about the contributions of immigrants to America's founding on Broadway, a capital of LGBTQ culture, would invite controversy. Sure enough, Pence was greeted by a chorus of boos when he appeared in the theater. And after the curtain call, actor Brandon Victor Dixon addressed the vice president-elect, respectfully, but uncompromisingly, from the stage:

"We, sir — we — are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights," Dixon said. "We truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us."

But Pence listened and heard him out. And in a post-performance interview on Fox News, Pence said he "wasn't offended by what was said" and described the pre-show booing as "what freedom sounds like."

The musical probably didn't change Pence's mind on much of anything. And the cast's speech hasn't seemed to shift the vice president-elect's rhetoric on immigration, criminal justice reform, or LGBTQ rights. But Pence stepped out of his comfort zone and listened. He deserves at least some credit for that.  

6. And we need to show up to help other people to burst their filter bubbles.

Beyoncé and the Dixie Chicks at the CMAs. Photo by Nick Diamond/Getty Images.

Despite being the uncontested queen of everyone and everything, Beyoncé's performance at November's Country Music Awards became a lightning rod for fans of the genre. Criticisms ran the gamut from political (she's too liberal!) to aesthetic (she's insufficiently country!) to straight-up racist (black people don't belong in country music).

Here's the thing: Beyoncé can perform anywhere she wants. She's arguably the most famous human on the planet. She didn't need to show up to do a free show for people who mostly want her to go away. But she did it anyway. She did it knowing that the audience wouldn't necessarily be friendly to her. True to form, many weren't.

But many others listened, liked what they heard, and had their minds and tastes expanded. More importantly, their idea of what a country singer can look and sound like was forever changed.

It was a brave move for Beyoncé (and for the Dixie Chicks, who backed up Queen Bey, having been shunned by country audiences for their opposition to the Iraq War over a decade ago). Beyoncé leveraged her massive global fame to send a powerful message for inclusion that resonated with millions of viewers.

7. We need to show up now, when it counts, before it's too late.

Do not deny Prince-from-Beyond! Photo by Kristian Dowling/Getty Images.

We lost a lot of great people in 2016. There will never be another Prince, or David Bowie, or Alan Rickman, or Leonard Cohen, or Gwen Ifill, or John Glenn. But in a way, their passings aren't just tragedies — taken together, they're a call to arms.

Life is fleeting. If we want to make the world a better place, we have to get on it ASAP and show up now — not tomorrow, not a week from now, not in April when things calm down or start to feel normal. We all have limited time on Earth, and it matters, now more than ever, what we do with it.

2016 was a bad year for too many people around the world: We can't just wait, commiserate, post rueful memes, and hope that the next year will be better. We all have to go out and make it so.

2017 is coming, whether we want it to or not. Will it be better?

That's up to us.

Unsplash

Students working; an empty classroom.

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules: "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. After a quick search, I can confirm I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

 school's out, school days, school week, work week, schedules Schools Out Fun GIF by Pen Pals  Giphy  

So, it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

 school, kids, teachers, instruction time, classes, schedule Class in session Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash  

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

 teachers, stress, education, work, job Season 3 Running GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

Women may blame their pillow for a stiff neck, it could be hormones

Waking up with a stiff neck or a tension headache is a pain...literally. For some women, it seems like a never ending cycle of searching for a new pillow. They walk out of the store confident they've found the perfect pillow only to wake up with a stiff neck or tension headache days later–rinse and repeat. If this sounds familiar and you're over the age of 35, your pillow may not be to blame at all.

As women of a certain age wonder what's going on with their necks while they sleep, researchers say the problem is likely hormonal. Menopause is no secret. While the word was once whispered to close confidants or replaced with the phrase "the change" (as if women were becoming vampires), conversations happen openly now. Because of this shift, women feel more prepared for the process to occur...when they're over 50...but many people are finding out "the change" starts happening years before menopause.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Struggling with hot flashes, woman tries to keep cool.Photo credit: Canva

This process is called perimenopause, which is essentially pre-menopause, and the process can start as early as 35 and last up to a decade. Of course, genetics, health, and other biological factors determine how early the perimenopause stage starts for a woman, but it always starts the same–declining hormones. According to researchers, hormones control a lot of what's going on in someone's body, so any influx or reduction of these chemicals can have negative effects (including musculoskeletal performance).

"Both estrogen and testosterone are present in males and females. Both hormones contribute to the wellbeing of skeletal muscle and bone in men and women, and there is evidence that the loss of sex hormones is associated with the age-related decline in bone and skeletal muscle mass," Marybeth Brown writes in the article "Skeletal muscle and bone: effect of sex steroids and aging" for the journal Advances in Physiology Education.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Woman experiences back pain at home.Photo credit: Canva

It's those decreases in sex hormones that researchers say may be a contributing factor to perimenopausal women's musculoskeletal issues—which would include a stiff neck. While currently researchers aren't specifically looking at the link between declining hormones and stiff neck isolated from the rest of the musculoskeletal system, declining hormones explains why these aches, pains, and injuries happen.

The Menopause Society, a nonprofit that empowers healthcare professionals with evidenced-based resources says, “Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can cause muscle tension. This tension can manifest in various body parts, with the neck being a common area.”

Recently, a woman sought answers to her stiff neck in a menopause group, saying, "I've seen a lot of blanket talk, but not much about pillows. I get night sweats and also lately I've had some neck pain that is unrelated to perimenopause (I think). I want a better pillow than I have, but it needs to be able to get washed from all the sweating. What works for you? And how do you wash it? Memory foam? Shredded...latex? or is it just plain shredded foam? Wool? Buckwheat husks? Something else?"

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Waking up with a sore neck.Photo credit: Canva

Much to the woman's surprise, she was flooded with comments from other women sharing they are also experiencing a stiff neck no matter what type of pillow they use. While several women shared their favorite type of pillow (memory foam seems to be the winner), others commiserated or were happy they weren't alone in the struggle.

One woman responded, "Just saw this post. Glad I did. My neck has been killing me over the last 3 months. I've bought so many pillows. Right now the shredded memory foam seems to be ok right now. Then I decided to do a quick search about neck pain and perimenopause....I'm pretty sure I have every symptom under the moon.... Currently on STD because of perimenopause is absolutely debilitating for me. Neck pain is a common symptom during perimenopause and menopause, often linked to declining estrogen levels and their impact on joint health and muscle function. This can manifest as aches, stiffness, and even frozen shoulder."

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Office worker stretching to relieve back pain.Photo credit: Canva

Researchers Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu and Keith Baar explain in their article "Effect of Estrogen on Musculoskeletal Performance and Injury Risk" in the journal Frontiers in Physiology, "Consistent with a role for estrogen in regulating musculoskeletal function, menstruating women suffer more ACL ruptures than men and menopause is characterized by increased risk of musculoskeletal injury, accelerated bone and muscle wasting, and decreased sensitivity to anabolic stimuli. To counteract many of the negative aspects of menopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been used to reduce muscle and bone loss, and restore muscle protein balance."

So if you've been struggling with neck pain and are over the age of 35, have ruled out injury or another cause by your doctor, it just might be hormones. There's no stopping a decline in your natural hormone levels as you age, but there may be things that can help when working with your physician. In the meantime, here's to restful nights and a good memory foam pillow.

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

Teachers

She asked her 3rd graders to design custom Squishmallows. Then she brought each one to life.

One by one, Ms. Zhou sewed 27 unique plushies herself, each complete with a hidden heart.

Ms. Zhou brought each of her students' Squishmallow designs to life in her free time.

As a teacher, Jess Zhou knows that lessons are not confined to academic curricula or instruction. Kids are always learning, and the interactions and experiences they have with teachers help them grow and gain confidence in their abilities far beyond the classroom.

That's one reason why Ms. Zhou took advantage of the time after the school day ended, as her third graders were waiting to be picked up, to create a unique experience for her students. Zhou asked them to create a custom Squishmallow (a popular plushie that have been all the rage), and then, one by one, she brought each of their designs to life by sewing them herself. It took the better part of the year, but every student got to take home a Squishmallow they'd personally designed.

 

Zhou shared with Upworthy how the project came about:

"I have been making custom graduation gifts for students over the years, but it was a lot of cramming to do it within the last month of school, so I decided to create one a week this year and document the process. I was inspired to use the Squishmallow shape because I noticed students were talking about how they liked to collect Squishmallow plushies.

Back in October 2024, I gave students a blank page and asked them to design their own Squishmallow character and describe their personality traits. They didn't know at the time that their designs would come to life as plushies. I did most of the sewing on weekends and used scrap fabric I had accumulated over the years to make the plushies.

It was definitely a big surprise when the first Squishmallow emerged out of the box, and each student got an adoption ceremony where their design was revealed in front of the whole class, and each student got to put a felt heart inside their plushie before it was sewn shut (akin to a build-a-bear experience). They also got to sign an adoption certificate. All 27 plushies came to life by the end of the year!"

"This project in particular was about empowering students as designers," Zhou tells Upworthy. "Students got to appreciate each step of the design process, and students got to see their work as masterpieces rather than just assignments."

Zhou says the kids are now excited to design other things as well. "I want students to develop real-world skills that will set them up for later-life success," she says, sharing that she has also taught her young students about voting, taxes, and AI literacy.

Part of the project was also repairing the Squishmallows if they break. They went to "the hospital" if that happened, and Zhou fixed whatever wounds they had, from missing eyeballs to torn seams.

Zhou also demonstrated thoughtfulness and generosity for her students when another teacher reached out after seeing one of her videos and asked if she knew where to find a wedding Squishmallow. The teacher was a Squishmallow collector and was preparing for her own wedding, so Zhou created bride and groom Squishmallows for her based on designs from that teacher's students.

 

Zhou teaches in Los Angeles and shared that the last school year was a tough transition for the students as their previous school site was shut down and two schools were combined. "This was a big change for students because they had to get used to the new school and make new friends," Zhou says, "so the plushies created a special bonding experience because it brought the students together and allowed them to make core memories at the new school."

In fact, she says that two of her students had created similar designs for their plushies, which can sometimes cause tension as the students accuse one another of copying. "But after the adoption ceremonies, these girls told me that they collaborated on their designs and that their characters were 'sisters,'" says Zhou. "These girls had come from different schools in 2nd grade, and after working together on many school projects, they became good friends in 3rd grade. After school, I was walking home when I heard tapping on the bus window, and the girls gestured towards their plushies, which were seated next to each other on the bus! It was a really sweet moment that they wanted to make sure I saw."

Check out how cool and diverse the kids' designs were:

 squishmallow designs, teacher creates custom squishmallows, squishmallows, toys, teaching, kids Like very student, every Squishmallow is unique.Image courtesy of Jess Zhou

 

So many teachers go above and beyond the call of duty to give their students an education that goes far beyond academics, and Ms. Zhou is a prime example. This next school year, she will be moving up to middle school to teach STEM, and surely those students will benefit from her creativity and dedication as much as her younger students have. We wish you the best in your new position, Ms. Zhou!

 students, teacher, squishmallows Ms. Zhou with some of her students and their custom squishmallowsPhoto courtesy of Jess Zhou

Modern Families

Brain scans show that grandmas connect with their grandkids better than their own children

Was your mom hard on you, but spoils her grandkids? There's an evolutionary reason behind it.

via PixaBay

A grandmother and grandchild share a special evolutionary bond.

It can be annoying, as a parent, when your own mom or dad who was super hard on you growing up, dotes and fawns all over their grandchildren. Something about becoming a grandparent turns even the hardest of souls into a big old softy. And, as rejected as it can sometimes make grown-ups feel, it turns out there might be a good reason for this phenomenon — especially in women. It's called the "grandmother effect."

For the past 55 years, scientists have theorized that a major reason why humans live so much longer past their reproductive years than other species is because of grandmothers. The "grandmother effect," as it's known, postulates that in hunter-gatherer societies, grandmothers played a vital role in finding food and raising children. In fact, the grandmother's role was so important that it had a huge impact on whether or not children survived.

 grandmas, evolution, grandma effect, grandmother effect, grandparents, parenting, family, love, kids, children Grandmas played a key role in the survival of early society families.  Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash  

"By relieving a mother of some of her child-raising responsibilities, so the thinking goes, grandmothers make it easier for their daughters to have more children and also make it possible for those children to have longer lives by helping them during the difficult early years of life," Haider J. Warraich writes in Stat. Two studies further this hypothesis by showing the important roles that grandmothers have in the survival of their grandchildren. A study of birth and death records in Finland for individuals born between 1731 and 1890 found that having a maternal grandmother between the ages of 50 and 75 increased a child's survival rate.

Another study found that proximity to grandmother matters, too. The shorter the distance between grandmother and grandchild, the more involved the grandmother can be and the more benefits that accrue to her daughter and grandchildren.

In others words, grandmothers in early societies weren't just laying around like Charlie Bucket's grannies in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They were actively involved in lightening the childcare load, which benefitted just about everyone in the family.

The grandmother effect could be a major reason why a new study shows that grandmothers may feel a closer emotional bond to their grandchildren than their own offspring.

A study by James Rilling of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia published in "The Royal Society" measured brain function in 50 grandmothers with at least one biological grandchild between 3 and 12 years old.

 grandmas, evolution, grandma effect, grandmother effect, grandparents, parenting, family, love, kids, children Give grandma a break if she can't stop loving on the kids.  Photo by 𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔞 on Unsplash  

Grandmothers were shown photos of their grandchild, an unknown child, an unknown adult and the same-sex parent of the grandchild. The study found that when a grandmother saw a photo of their grandchild it activated parts of their brain associated with emotional empathy and movement.

When the grandmothers saw a photo of their adult child, it activated areas of the brain associated with cognitive empathy. So, to put it simply, when shown the pictures, the grandmothers were attempting to emotionally empathize with their grandchildren while trying to cognitively understand what their adult children were thinking.

That emotional empathy is extremely powerful and visceral. Cognitive empathy is useful, but is one layer removed. You can logically understand what someone is thinking or feeling without actually feeling it yourself. Emotional empathy is much more involved and tangible.

"That suggests that grandmothers are geared toward feeling what their grandchildren are feeling when they interact with them," Rilling said in an Emory news article. "If their grandchild is smiling, they're feeling the child's joy. And if their grandchild is crying, they're feeling the child's pain and distress."

Given the importance of the grandmother effect, it's no surprise that our grandmothers seem to be hardwired to love us in the deepest way possible. Science shows that without this incredible bond, humans may not have made it this far. Conversely, it also shows that without having such an important role in their post-reproductive years, our grandparents may not have evolved to live so long.

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In the end, the relationship appears to be symbiotic. Grandmothers promote the survival of a child who one day may grow up to be a grandparent and live longer because they have such an important role in the life of their grandchild.

So if your mom was a tough cookie growing up but suddenly seems to be all sugar and gumdrops when the grandbabies are around, don't take it personally. It's embedded in her DNA to love and care for them. Without the responsibility of being the primary caregiver (who are usually just trying to survive the day to day), grandmothers are free to spoil, snuggle, and connect with their grandkids in a way sometimes they never could with their own children. It's a natural process, and ultimately a good thing. If you're lucky enough to have an involved grandma, the science says you should consider yourself lucky!

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.