+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
More

50 wishes for my little sister.

1. The ability to fall in love with herself first.

All photos via iStock.

2. Many nights spent laughing so hard that she can barely catch her breath.

3. A few true friends who will never abandon her or try to change her.

4. Mentors to learn from who provide a remarkable amount of inspiration.

5. Patience to undergo life’s setbacks.

6. Determination to turn those setbacks into further motivation to follow her dreams.

7. Long car rides and plane trips to wondrous places that will open her eyes to the fascinating and incredible world we live in.

8. People to hold her when I am not there.

9. Late nights.

10. Big dreams.

11. Emotionally riveting experiences.

12. Opportunities to step outside her comfort zone.

13. The strength to stand by her convictions.

14. The bravery to overcome all of the fears and reservations that life will naturally work into her brain.

15. The chance to help others and truly touch the lives of the people in this world who need it most.

16. A few lucky guys along the way who will respect her, be honest with her, adore her, and make her smile.

17. Moments when she can feel invincible.

18. Night swims in the ocean.

19. Concerts that bring music into her chest and rattle her senses.

20. Kisses that make her heart stop.

21. Strong cups of coffee for the long days.

22. Tall glasses of wine for the hard days.

23. A career worth falling in love with.

24. The ability to see how powerful she is as a woman.

25. The understanding that she will always have family to fall back on when life seems to get out of control.

26. Plenty of sass.

27. Enough toughness to fight back and to always stand up for herself.

28. A true understanding of what beauty is and where it really exists.

29. Lots of pizza.

GIF via "Wayne's World"

30. Memories and crazy stories that last a lifetime.

31. A place or city that she can be completely enthralled with, where she can spend many of her days living in that magic.

32. A safe place to call home.

33. A multitude of girls’ nights spent out on the town turning heads — or curled up in pajamas watching Netflix with Ben & Jerry’s.

34. The fortitude to keep moving forward after a few idiots break her heart.

35. The fearlessness needed to fall in love again.

36. Enough cold days to make her appreciate the sunny ones.

37. The time and motivation to continue to indulge in all of her hobbies and interests.

38. People she can call when she is feeling lost (other than me, of course).

39. The wisdom to understand a greater purpose in life.

40. The belief that she never has to rush any stage of her life, and that she should be able to enjoy all of them for the wonders that they each possess.

41. Exposure to some of the world’s unique and time-honored displays of artistic splendor. May she read the greatest novels, witness the most acclaimed theatrical performances, and be moved by remarkable artwork. May she always appreciate their brilliance.

42. Immeasurable moments of pride that she can have in herself and in her accomplishments.

43. The faith needed to be able to sustain any religion of her choice that may give her a sense of purpose and love.

44. People who will teach her new ideas and constantly provide her with new perspectives.

45. Knowledge that intellectually challenges her and inspires a hunger for wisdom inside of her.

46. The wedding she has always dreamed of, which I am sure I will be personally aiding in the production of.

47. A man I can confidently say will love her forever and give her all she needs in this world. A man I can raise my glass to at that reception and give my baby sister away to, knowing that he will be a devoted husband and best friend to the most important thing I have in my life.

48. Little children that look just as beautiful as she is, with big sparkly eyes and hearts of pure gold. May her children grow to see the incredible woman they were blessed with, and go on to spread the amazing joy she will teach them.

49. May they have family movie nights, little soccer games, long days at the amusement parks, Christmas mornings awoken by screams of excitement, tear-filled graduations, and enough hugs and kisses to fill my sister’s heart. May they overcome the hard times and keep each other close. May she raise her children to love each other as much as I love her.

50. My lasting love. May she always understand that I will be here forever. I will be there when she moves into a crappy little apartment — to order pizza and eat it on the empty living room floor. I will be there to plan a ridiculous bachelorette party where we are way too loud and think tequila is a good choice. I will be there to toast to her marriage. I will be there sobbing as I hold my little niece or nephew with more love than I can even comprehend. I will be there when our kids are growing and we have to call each other and laugh at the ridiculous things they do. I will be there through career changes. I will be there as we grow old and start to develop smile lines from our years of laughter. I will be there when we have no one in our family left but the two of us.

I held her in my arms the day she was born, and I will hold her forever. That is my final wish and promise for my remarkable little sister.

This is for all of the sisters out there who are loving and hoping for each other. Sometimes we forget to remind our sisters that we are constantly dreaming for them and for the beautiful life they deserve.

From Your Site Articles
Democracy

Fox News viewers changed their minds after getting paid to watch CNN for a month

Some hope we can bridge the political divide.

Greg Gutfeld and Anderson Cooper images via Wikicommons

Fox viewers changed their minds after watching CNN

The prevailing logic in today’s political world is that polarization is worsening because people live in media echo chambers where they are only exposed to outlets that mirror their views.

People who live in echo chambers come to distrust any opinions that exist outside of their bubbles and when they're not exposed to any conflicting information. This creates a scenario where the person becomes increasingly entrenched in their worldview.

One would assume that after a person becomes fully entrenched in an echo chamber they have little chance of changing their views. However, a new working paper by researchers at Stanford and Yale universities has found that when people are removed from their bubbles there’s a chance they’ll change their minds.

David Broockman of Stanford and Joshua Kalla of Yale conducted a study in 2022 where they paid regular Fox News viewers $15 an hour to watch CNN for around seven hours a week for a month. The researchers then surveyed them about their political beliefs and knowledge of current events.

The study is titled “The manifold effects of partisan media on viewers’ beliefs and attitudes: A field experiment with Fox News viewers.” The research was done in fall 2020, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and lead-up to the presidential election.

When the participants were polled, researchers found that they were 5 percentage points more likely to believe that people suffer from long COVID, 6 points more likely to believe that other countries did a better job of controlling the virus and 7 points more likely to support voting by mail.

“CNN provided extensive coverage of COVID-19, which included information about the severity of the COVID-19 crisis and poor aspects of Trump’s performance handling COVID-19. Fox News covered COVID-19 much less,” said the study.

​After the Fox viewers switched to CNN, it changed their opinions on the social justice protests happening at the time as well. The switchers were 10 points less likely to think that Biden supporters were happy when police got shot and 13 points less likely to believe that if Biden gets elected “we’ll see many more police get shot by Black Lives Matter activists.”

Many of the participants also realized that when it came to Trump, they weren’t getting the whole story. After switching to a steady diet of CNN they were less likely to agree that “if Donald Trump did something bad, Fox News would discuss it.”

“Despite regular Fox viewers being largely strong partisans, we found manifold effects of changing the slant of their media diets on their factual beliefs, attitudes, perceptions of issues’ importance, and overall political views,” the authors of the study said.

The study shows that Fox News isn’t just a media outlet that affirms its viewers' worldviews, it also feeds them a distorted version of reality that pushes them toward more extreme opinions. The good news is that some of these people can be changed when exposed to better information.

It should also be noted that Fox News viewers aren’t the only ones living in information bubbles and that there are plenty of ideological traps that ensnare people on the left as well.

The study should give everyone hope that all is not lost and that America’s political divide may not be impossible to bridge.

From Your Site Articles
politics
Health

Ear rumbling is a special 'superpower' that not everyone has

Can you do this?

via Eltpics / Twitter

Mapping out the structure of the inner ear.

There are no two human beings who are exactly alike. One of the funny quirks of evolution is that some of us can do things with our bodies we think are routine, but are impossible for others.

Some people can wiggle their ears, others can't. Some can wiggle their nose like Samantha from "Bewitched" while others just look really silly when making an attempt.

Not everyone can lick their elbow but most wouldn't attempt to do so in public.

A Twitter user named Massimo dropped some knowledge about a skill that not everyone has and even fewer discuss: ear rumbling.

Those of us who can do it know exactly what it is, while it's a mystery to those who cannot.

People who can ear rumble have the ability to control the tensor tympani, a muscle within the ear. Contracting the muscle creates a rushing, rumbling sound that, if flexed enough, can drown out a significant amount of noise.

This can be useful when someone is saying something that you don't want to hear but don't want to be rude and cover your ears. It can come in real handy if someone is about to spoil your favorite TV show or if you live with someone who can't stop nagging.

Some people cannot voluntarily create the rumbling sound but hear it when they let out a large yawn.

There's a Reddit sub-forum just for ear rumblers with over 60,000 people. Here's how some of them get rumblin'.

"I just squeeze the muscle in my ears I guess," — melvinthefish

"When I flex and hold whatever I'm manipulating to do that, I get my rumble," — ttywzl

"I get a mild rumble just doing the usual flex, but i can make it a bit louder by bringing my top lip up to my nose," — Willmono7

"The best way I can describe it is I 'squint my ears,'" —SteeleIT

The muscle exists to mask-low frequency sounds so we can focus on those at a higher frequency. It also works to mute sounds we create ourselves such as eating potato chips or coughing. It's a way that helps us from becoming annoyed with our own bodies.

Unfortunately, the muscle has a rather slow reaction time so it cannot prevent us from hearing loud sudden noises like a gunshot or a book slamming on the ground.

Massimo's tweet caused quite a stir on the platform.

Although scientists have known about ear rumbling since at least the 1800s, there doesn't appear to have been too much research on the topic. We know that some can rumble and others cannot, but it's unclear how it breaks down percentage-wise or if it's more prevalent in certain groups.

The good news is that the word is starting to get out and people who've been rumbling all their lives suddenly don't feel so alone.


This article originally appeared on 03.05.20

From Your Site Articles
science
Pop Culture

Guy reveals why the 'old man praying’ painting you see everywhere is not what it seems

It started as a photograph.

via Wikimedia Commons

The Minnesota state photograph "Grace" by Eric Enstrom depicts traveling salesman Charles Wilden in Bovey, Minnesota.

The painting of an old devout man praying over a bowl of gruel and a loaf of bread in front of a Bible is one of the most popular pieces of 20th century American art. The piece is called “Grace” and you’ll find it in homes, churches and even restaurants.

I clearly remember there was a copy of it hanging on the wall at my corner burger joint, Mack’s Burgers, in Torrance, California, in the ’80s. Sadly, it’s been torn down and is now a Jack in the Box.

However ubiquitous the photo may be, a new video by pop culture YouTube user Austin McConnell shows that “Grace” isn’t really what it seems.

“Grace” was originally a photograph taken in 1918, during World War I, by Eric Enstrom, a Swedish American from Bovey, Minnesota. Enstrom was preparing some photographs to take with him to a convention when Charles Wilden, a salesman selling boot scrapers, came to his door, and he know he had to take his photo.

“There was something about the old gentleman’s face that immediately impressed me. I saw that he had a kind face… there weren’t any harsh lines in it,” Enstrom said. “I wanted to take a picture that would show people that even though they had to do without many things because of the war they still had much to be thankful for,” he added.

“There was something about the old gentleman’s face that immediately impressed me. I saw that he had a kind face… there weren’t any harsh lines in it,” Enstrom said. “I wanted to take a picture that would show people that even though they had to do without many things because of the war they still had much to be thankful for,” he added.

Enstrom posed Wilden in front of a loaf of bread, a bowl—which may have been empty—and a large book that many assume to be the Bible. But, as McConnell notes, the book is far too large to be the good book, as most people assume. The Grand Forks Herald claims that a receipt for payment from Enstrom to Wilden reveals that the book is a dictionary.

The photograph went on to be a huge hit at the convention and Enstrom began selling copies about town. After many requested copies of the photo in color, Enstrom’s daughter, Rhoda Nyberg, began hand-painting them in oils and added a streak of light on the left side of the painting. This is the version that people have come to love.

"The intent of the photo is fairly obvious,” McConnell says in the video. “Enstrom wanted an image that conveyed to people that even though they had to do without many provisions because of the ongoing war, there was still much to be thankful for. A picture that seemed to say 'this man doesn't have much of earthly goods, but he has more than most people because he has a thankful heart.'"

Enstrom convinced Wilden to sign over his rights for $5, which gave him the sole copyright. He then licensed the image to the Lutheran-affiliated Augsburg publishing house, which distributed the image across the country.

According to McConnell “thousands and thousands” of copies of the photo were sold. The image entered the public domain in 1995.

Although not much is known about Wilden, it is believed that he lived a hard life. "He was living in a very primitive sod hut near Grand Rapids, eking out a very precarious living," retired history professor Don Boese told the Grand Forks Herald. It’s also likely that he wasn’t the devout man we imagine in the photo. "The stories about him centered more around drinking and not accomplishing very much,” Boese said.

So the painting was actually a photo. The Bible, a dictionary, and the subject was more likely to be the town drunk than a saint. But, in the end, does it matter? McConnell believes that its meaning rests in the eye of the beholder.

"If you found out today that everything you thought you knew about this iconic image was actually wrong, would you take it off your wall?” McConnell asks at the end of the video. “Or would you accept that the value in a piece of art isn't merely derived from the knowledge of how it was made? Or who made it?”


This article originally appeared on 1.6.23

From Your Site Articles
art
Health

6 too-real comics show what happens when work gets too heavy

Finding a good balance between working and relaxing can be difficult, but it doesn't have to be.

Image courtesy of College Humor

A reason to be late... tasty treats.


Everyone gets antsy about their jobs sometimes.

Maybe you notice you're less motivated than usual. Maybe you acknowledge that you're no longer going the extra mile, and you're not quite sure why. Maybe professionalism is a term you've long since forgotten.

For many of us, the struggle can be so, so real. That's why Willie Muse wrote these all-too-relatable comics for College Humor, illustrated by Karina Farek.

These six funny comics perfectly illustrate what a typical first day at your job looks like versus the 101st day:

1. Who doesn't look at at least one viral video a day?

music, work, employee rights, jobs

To tune or not to tune.

Image courtesy of College Humor

2. You suddenly find the time to fit in a breakfast sandwich.

breakfast, fast food, time

How do you miss out on a breakfast quickly served?

Image courtesy of College Humor

3. You go from wanting your boss's approval to hating his or her guts.

boss, employee, friendship, community

Getting to know your coworkers...

Image courtesy of College Humor

4. All the details that were once so important become nuisances.

job requirements, nuisances, work vacation

An evolution in responsibility and ethics?

Image courtesy of College Humor

5. Your (lack of) motivation can take you from hero to zero — quick!

motivation, work-life-balance, career

When an opportunity evolves into a responsibility.

Image courtesy of College Humor

6. And you most certainly DO NOT want to end up like this.

advice, labor, qualifications

Getting on the right side of fear.

Image courtesy of College Humor

Let's be real: These comics are funny, but they also aren't ideal.

In a perfect world, we'd all have jobs that still look and feel like Day 1 on Day 101. And one of the only ways to get there is to intentionally strive for a life that's full of work-life balance. We really do have the power to not let things play out like this.

What can we do?

At a most basic level, we can make sure we're getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing at least a little exercise. We also shouldn't underestimate the benefits of detaching from computer screens and smartphones every once in a while. Plus, we can also minimize our stress levels by not multitasking and instead concentrating on one task at time.

The most overlooked advice for maintaining a healthy work-life balance is to actually take time off.

Disconnect from your daily work routine. Make a conscious effort to recharge.

Perhaps if we dedicate more time to enjoying life outside of work, there's more of a chance that we'll be on Day 1 for months, feeling grateful for our jobs rather than impatiently waiting for the clock to strike 5. Let's get to it!


This article originally appeared on 10.25.16

From Your Site Articles
Health

How 7 things that have nothing to do with rape perfectly illustrate the concept of consent.

Well this is all a very brilliant way to show what it's all about.

mage from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There are many different scenarios where consent is necessary.



In 2013, Zerlina Maxwell ignited a firestorm of controversy when she strongly recommended we stop telling women how to not get raped.

Here are her words, from the transcript of her appearance on Sean Hannity's show:

"I don't think that we should be telling women anything. I think we should be telling men not to rape women and start the conversation there with prevention."

So essentially — instead of teaching women how to avoid rape, let's raise boys specifically not to rape.

There was a lot of ire raised from that idea. Maxwell was on the receiving end of a deluge of online harassment and scary threats because of her ideas, which is sadly common for outspoken women on the Internet.

People assumed it meant she was labeling all boys as potential rapists or that every man has a rape-monster he carries inside him unless we quell it from the beginning.

But the truth is most of the rapes women experience are perpetrated by people they know and trust. So fully educating boys during their formative years about what constitutes consent and why it's important to practice explicitly asking for consent could potentially eradicate a large swath of acquaintance rape. It's not a condemnation on their character or gender, but an extra set of tools to help young men approach sex without damaging themselves or anyone else.

news, campaigns, young men, cultural norms

Zerlina Maxwell is interviewed on "Hannity."

Image from “Hannity."

But what does teaching boys about consent really look like in action?

Well, there's the viral letter I wrote to my teen titled "Son, It's Okay If You Don't Get Laid Tonight" explaining his responsibility in the matter. I wanted to show by example that Maxwell's words weren't about shaming or blaming boys who'd done nothing wrong yet, but about giving them a road map to navigate their sexual encounters ahead.

There are also rape prevention campaigns on many college campuses, aiming to reach young men right at the heart of where acquaintance rape is so prevalent. Many men are welcoming these efforts.

And then there are creative endeavors to find the right metaphors and combination of words to get people to shake off their acceptance of cultural norms and see rape culture clearly.


This is brilliant:

consent, rape prevention, community, consent culture

A comic about different types of consent.

Image from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There you have it. Seven comparisons that anyone can use to show how simple and logical the idea of consent really is. Consent culture is on its way because more and more people are sharing these ideas and getting people to think critically. How can we not share an idea whose time has come?

This article originally appeared on 06.27.15

From Your Site Articles
Trending Stories