TikTok life coach's bite-sized mental health hacks are helping thousands of people

Sometimes one little piece of advice can be so powerful it transforms our lives for the better. Many years ago, someone told me that "you can't change other people, you can only change how you react to them."
That piece of advice taught me that instead of trying to forcibly change others, I can get them to act differently by changing how I react to them. For example, sometimes ignoring someone's behavior instead of calling attention to it can get them to change.
Simple psychological hacks are no way to treat serious psychological issues such as anxiety or depression. But they can help us break free from negative patterns, create stronger personal boundaries, and improve our mindfulness.
Certified Coaching Practitioner Elisabeth Donatella has earned over 500,000 followers and four million likes on TikTok for her simple, but practical self-help videos.
Donatella, who goes by the name Coach Lisy, became interested in coaching after fighting her own internal battles and then deciding to use what she learned to help others.
"As a former self-loathing, people-pleasing perfectionist living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I focused so much of my time and energy obsessing over everything," she wrote on her website. "I struggled with an eating disorder, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and worst of all, I had severe self-doubt."
"Four years ago, after I had hit my own personal rock bottom, I decided to make a change," she continues. "I decided to dedicate my time and energy on learning how to love myself...and, most importantly, accept myself."
Since, she has completed countless trainings and seminars, including the Robbins-Madanes Training, the official Coach Training School of Tony Robbins.
These days she provides advice on relationships, mindfulness, mental hygiene, and self-awareness on TikTok. Here are 10 of her most powerful self-help tips.
How to stop procrastinating, tip 1: Plan out your day
@coachlisy Click (+) for TIP 2 #selfhelp #mindset #procrastination #LaughPause #ChocolateRecipe
How to stop procrastinating, tip 2: List the reasons why your activities are important
@coachlisy Click (+) for TIP 3 💥 #perfectionism #selfhelp #procrastination #LaughPause #ChocolateRecipe
How to break a bad habit
@coachlisy #duet with @maxandfacts click + for more on how to break bad habits! #habits #mindset #mindsethack #GimmeLove #ReadingList
Your thoughts shape your life
@coachlisy Click ➕ for daily mindset hacks! #mindset #mindsethacks #positivity #FoodReview #HungerGames
A fixed mindset versus a growth mindset
@coachlisy #duet with @drjuliesmith FOLLOW, LIKE, and SHARE to spread the message! #growthmindset #mindset #learnontiktok #ColorCustomizer #FashionFavorites
Witness your thoughts
@coachlisy Click ➕ for more mindset hacks #mindsethack #personaldevelopment #OneLoveOneHeart #TextReaction #selfawareness
How to set a boundary
@coachlisy FOLLOW, LIKE, SHARE ❤️ #boundaries #personalgrowth #selfcare #TikTokFanFest #PostAMemory
How to deal with unwanted thoughts
@coachlisy #duet with @evolveandbloom amazing facts about our thoughts! #thoughts #personalgrowth #selfhelp #PlayBall #FanArt
Money management tricks
@coachlisy ✨new series alert✨ #psychologyfacts #psychology #moneymanagement #swlfawareness #FelizNavidad #TimeWarpJump
"Because I don't want to" is a valid reason to say no to anything.
@coachlisy Tag someone who needs to hear this! 🔥 #selflove #healingtiktok #personalgrowth #PepsiApplePieChallenge
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.