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Women do better when they have a group of strong female friends, study finds

We're stronger together.

female friends, female success, harvard business review
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Women do better when they have female friends.

Madeleine Albright once said, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." It turns out that might actually be a hell on Earth, because women just do better when they have other women to rely on, and there's research that backs it up.

A study published in the Harvard Business Review found that women who have a strong circle of friends are more likely to get executive positions with higher pay. "Women who were in the top quartile of centrality and had a female-dominated inner circle of 1-3 women landed leadership positions that were 2.5 times higher in authority and pay than those of their female peers lacking this combination," Brian Uzzi writes in the Harvard Business Review.

Part of the reason why women with strong women backing them up are more successful is because they can turn to their tribe for advice. Women have to face different challenges than men, such as unconscious bias, and being able to turn to other women who have had similar experiences can help you navigate a difficult situation. It's like having a road map for your goals.

​It's interesting to note that women in leadership positions who lacked this style of support system didn't make as much as the women who did. "While women who had networks that most resembled those of successful men (i.e., centrality but no female inner circle) placed into leadership positions that were among the lowest in authority and pay," Uzzi writes. Men and women have different needs, and that even extends to their tribe.


But it's not just in the workplace. A 2006 study found that women who had 10 or more friends were more likely to survive the disease than women who lacked close friends. The study found socially isolated women were 64% more likely to die from cancer, and 43% more likely to have a breast cancer reoccurrence. Friendship is literally the best medicine.

Never underestimate the power of a group text with your girlfriends. Having a place to commiserate over sexism and support other women with goofy gifs when someone succeeds can enrich your life on all fronts.


This article originally appeared on 12.03.19

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Gen Xers are comparing themselves to the Silent Generation and the similarities are uncanny

"Very low key, no fuss or drama sorts of people."

Image via Canva

Many people from Generation X are comparing themselves to the Silent Generation.

Generation X, those born between 1965 and 1980, hold a unique place between Baby Boomers and Millennials. But its a previous generation that many are claiming to relate to even more: the Silent Generation.

In an online community of Gen Xers, a member named @bravenewwhorl shared with fellow Gen Xers about the similarities they share with the Silent Generation, those born between 1925 and 1945. "My parents were born before World War Two and my older siblings are younger boomers. Let’s hear it for the Silent Generation who were very much like us; went through the Depression, the war, took care of themselves and knew how to conserve resources," they wrote.

The user when on to add, "For example my mom scraped ALL the butter off the foil wrapper, and used every frying pan and leftover chicken bone as an opportunity to make soup."

 chicken soup, sicken bone, soup, hot soup, homemade soup Chicken Soup GIF  Giphy  

The post seemed to resonate with many Gen Xers, who also shared their thoughts and experiences that connect them to the Silent Generation. These are some of the best comments from Gen Xers on why they feel simpatico with the Silent Generation.

 no drama, drama, dramatic, low key, no fuss, generations No Drama Allblk GIF by WE tv  Giphy  

"My parents are Silent Gen. Very low key, no fuss or drama sorts of people." Dark-Empath-

"Mine too. That's basically their defining generational trait -- head down, work, and stay out of the way." stevemm70

"Oh the way my Dad could say nothing so very loudly. There are still things I wouldn't dream of doing now because his silence was so deafening. I am 56." Maleficent_Bit2033

"Mine were born during the war, but same. Extremely frugal and practical. Parents were way into reusing everything and not wasting. My mom still has a drawer full of Ziplock bags and sheets of tinfoil that have been used 10x. My dad drilled into me that social security probably will not be there for our generation, so save save save. Cars are tools, not investments. Drive it into the ground. My Honda is 20 years old, Dad!" Haunting-Berry1999

 frugal, frugality, practical, cheap, save No Way Wow GIF by RatePunk  Giphy  

"My parents are Silent Generation, and because I was born in the mid 60s, so are the parents of almost everyone I grew up with. I am tired of this narrative that all GenX parents were boomers; that is simply not true, especially for those of us born 1970 or earlier. My parents were always very concerned about economic security, both for themselves and their kids. They transferred that concern to my siblings and myself." Ineffable7980x

"I still put ham bones in the freezer (Great grandma thing) for the soup I never make. Maybe this time :)." motherofguinaepigz

"My parents' parents definitely conserved resources - would wash and reuse 'tin foil', made food carry over into 4 or 5 different meals, shopped wisely, were extremely frugal with money and tried to be financially savvy. For them, cars, clothes, and appliances were maintained and repaired and lasted for years and years. My parents inherited a lot of those traits by example, and it followed down to us, too. Cars, clothes, and appliances aren't made today the way they were 'back then', of course, but we still try to make it work. I know people who change cars, or get new appliances, or even remodel or move to a new house every several years, and that just doesn't make sense to me. I just hope upcoming generations maintain and improve the 'reduce, reuse, recycle' mindset we were taught." DrewHunterTn

 reduce, reuse, recycle, frugal, resources Reduce Climate Change GIF by INTO ACTION  Giphy  

"My grandparents were Silent Generation. I am young GenX (but still GenX ‘76). I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my Silent Generation grandparents. They taught me a lot, and I feel more in touch with their generation than I’ve ever felt with Boomers. The boomers were such a let down; not great parents and worse grandparents." kemberflare

"My folks are both silent generation (both born in 41) and I'm a young gen x (born in 75, last of 3), and farm kids to boot. They taught me a lot of important things. You do what you want, but think it through because all actions have consequences. Don't waste money on frivolous stuff, but when you buy something big, buy quality and make it last. Most importantly, while they loved me and thought I was special, the world at large doesn't think about me at all. Also, my mom still washes out ziplock bags. I did not keep that lesson." No_Hedgehog_5406

"Mine are young Silent gen’s, so didn’t know the war strife, but their parents knew how to be frugal, could fix anything, and passed that down through the generations. My parents said they were too old to be hippies, but almost went to Woodstock. My dad got a PhD to stay out of Vietnam. Like others have said, very low key, very private, and didn’t live in the past at all. Compared to my friends’ parents, I wouldn’t trade them for anything else." ZuesMyGoose

This article originally appeared in May.
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Gay man has the perfect response to a woman who couldn't stop hitting on him at a bar

Who was being rude here?

via Petr Sidorov/Unsplash and Max Harlynking/Unsplash

A woman is flirting with a gay man at a bar.

A gay man is getting some praise for the way he handled a straight woman at a bar who behaved rather entitled towards him. A Reddit user named KineticVibes was out with his friends when he noticed a woman trying to get his attention. “I (25M) was out with friends last night and we went to a bar. This girl made eye contact with me when I walked in, and I smiled at her. Me being a gay man, I thought nothing of it,” KineticVibes wrote.

The woman approached him after realizing he wasn’t reacting to her flirtations from across the bar. “About 20 minutes later, the same girl walks up to my friends and me, and it's clear she is very drunk. She says to me, ‘Do you want to buy me a drink?’ To which I replied, ‘No, sorry, I'm here just to hang with my friends,’” he continued.

A straight woman wouldn't stop hitting on a gay man

She was clearly taking an aggressive approach by walking up and asking him to buy her a drink. Why didn’t she just ask what he was drinking and buy him a drink instead? She also unintentionally put him in a very uncomfortable spot because he didn’t want to tell her he was gay.

 brunette woman, flirty woman, winking woman, attraction, brown-eyed woman A woman winking fliratiously.via Canva/Photos

Even though people are a lot more accepting of people’s sexuality today than in the not-too-distant past, you never know when a drunk person in the bar will have a problem with someone being gay and try to start a fight. “I am still not totally comfortable telling any old stranger on first meeting that I'm gay—so this seemed like the best course of action for me,” KineticVibes explained.

Even though he was polite, the girl continued to prod him.

“She looks rejected and a bit frustrated now behind her glossy eyes and says, ‘A pretty girl wants to drink with you and you say no?’ Now I'm getting frustrated, and I kind of snap and say, ‘Well, I'm gay, so pretty girls don't work on me.’”

“She snarkily laughs and says, ‘Well, if you ever decide to date women, let me know,’ to which I very snappily reply, ‘If you ever decide to become a man, let me know,’” KineticVibes said. The quick-witted response made his friends a bit uncomfortable.

 shocked woman, blonde woman, surprised woman, red dress, hands up A blonde woman is shocked. via Canva/Photos

“You could tell it embarrassed her and my friends all kind of got mad at me, saying that I should have patience and be nicer,” he concluded the story.

Was his response inappropriate?

But did he need to be nicer to the woman? She tried to make eye contact, but he didn’t respond. Then she asked him to buy her a drink, to which he said no, politely. She then doubled down and asked why he wouldn’t buy one for her because she was pretty. Just about everyone in the comments on the story thinks he did the right thing by responding to her snark with a bit of sass. "I would’ve bought you a drink after that. Handling with humor 10/10," one Redditor responded.

Others thought the woman acted entitled by demanding a drink and got what she deserved. "If she was a dude, people would call her an incel for behaving like she's entitled to anyone's attention. It's not cute when dudes do it. It's not cute when dudettes do it," another user wrote.

"This is what I came here to say... She reeks of entitlement! She put herself out there and got shot down and then doubled down. She may not be a man, but she's got a huge set of balls demanding a stranger pay her way," one more added.

"If she was a dude people would call her an incel for behaving like she's entitled to anyone's attention. It's not cute when dudes do it, it's not cute when dudettes do it," another commenter wrote. "You politely declined, she didn't take the rejection well and kept pushing which pretty much forced you to come out to a stranger, who then proceeded to disregard it. Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed too. You didn't say anything insulting to her as a person, and it was a fitting comeback so I see nothing wrong. She should've just stopped after the first 'no' and brought that on herself," a commenter wrote.

Let's say it together, everyone: No matter who you or what you want, No means no.

This article originally appeared last year. 

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Why do we eat chicken eggs, duck eggs, and quail eggs, but not turkey eggs?

They're perfectly edible and apparently quite tasty, but you never see them on a menu.

Photo credit: Canva

Have you ever eaten a turkey egg?

When we talk about eating eggs in the U.S., we're almost always talking about chicken eggs. Occasionally, we might see duck eggs or quail eggs on the menu in a gourmet restaurant, and even more rarely something exotic like an emu egg. But do we ever see turkey eggs being served? Nope, never. (At least I never have, nor has anyone I've asked about this.)

Considering how many turkeys are raised domestically in the U.S. (around 220 million) and how many wild turkeys roam among us (around 7 million), you'd think we'd make better use of their eggs. They are egg-laying birds, after all, and since turkey meat is so similar to chicken meat, it seems logical that turkey eggs would be similar to chicken eggs, right?

 turkey eggs, eating eggs, chicken eggs, egg production Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs with a thicker shell.Photo credit: Canva

Right. Basically, that's true. Turkey eggs are larger than chicken eggs and they have a stronger shell, but from what people say, they're similar to eating chicken eggs only a little richer. Larger and richer, and yet we don't eat them on the regular? Why the heck not?

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The Self-Sufficient Backyard YouTube channel explains the whole thing in a video that's been viewed by nearly 4 million people. Clearly, this is a burning question for people once it's brought to their attention.

  - YouTube  youtube.com  

Basically, what it boils down to is that their size makes them hard to handle, package, and store. Turkeys also aren't nearly as prolific as chickens. (Chickens lay eggs around once per day, while turkeys lay at most twice per week.) It's also more expensive to raise turkeys than chickens, so the price of a turkey egg is prohibitive, at around $3 per egg. Considering how everyone lost their minds over chicken eggs at $6 a dozen, it's unlikely people would pay $36 for a dozen turkey eggs.

However, some people who have eaten turkey eggs shared their thoughts on how they taste, and now people (me, I am people) really want to try them:

"I have eaten turkey eggs for years. They are larger shells are thicker but they taste wonderful."

"I've baked with Turkey eggs and they made the best pancakes I have EVER tasted."

"They taste like chicken eggs, I have turkeys. They only lay seasonally, generally starting in March, and they’ll continue to lay through June-August. They can lay 60ish eggs a year. They’re about 2x the volume of a chicken egg. They make excellent omelettes. Harder to crack, with a thicker membrane and shell."

 turkey eggs, wine, eating turkey eggs Turkey eggs on the menu.Photo credit: Canva

"Growing up, my family had a turkey! She laid eggs and we were always enamored by how huge they were. They taste wonderful!"

"We had turkeys with our chickens. They laid eggs daily with the chickens from March to September then would stop while the chickens would just slow down. I was surprised because I thought they would just lay a clutch once or twice because that’s what the wild turkeys do but nope. The only down fall we found was that cracking them was difficult. But if you use a butter knife to give it a whack at the top it works pretty well. It was like getting two egg whites and one yolk in chicken egg ratio lol."

"Taste exactly like chicken eggs. Way bigger. The only difference is the shell is way tougher to crack. So good."

Apparently experience with turkeys and turkey eggs is not uncommon? City folks, take note:

"I was raised on turkey's eggs... I come in from a part of Canada where we are raising turkeys. In Valcartier, turkey eggs used to be much cheaper than any other kind of eggs."

"Growing up on a farm being born in the 50s in western North Carolina we ate lots of turkey eggs. We usually had a dozen or so hen turkeys so we had quite a few to spare."

 turkeys, wild turkeys, turkey eggs Turkeys live all over the U.S.  Giphy/Minnesota State University Moorhead 

"My inlaws usually give us turkey eggs for the holidays. They have a big farm in Virginia with all sorts of animals. They usually just sell their eggs at the local market and give us the rest lol."

"The wild turkeys that live in my area used to get in my bird feeders when I had a house. One day I found an egg in the yard, possibly as payment lol."

"I've got a turkey for a pet. Her name is "Sweetpea" and I keep her around for no other reason except that she's awesome and provides good conversation. Every now and then during the warm months of the year she leaves me breakfast somewhere around the yard."

And then, just for funsies, there's this little anecdote about those "technically edible" emu eggs:

"Back in elementary school we had a teacher that raised Emus. She would always make delicious cakes but would tell no one how she made them. Eventually she told my mother the reasons she told no one was because she was afraid that people would stop eating them if they found out that she was using one emu egg for every three chicken eggs. We didn’t care."

There you go. Answering a question you may never have asked but desperately needed and answer to once you thought about it.

This article originally appeared in May.

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Gen Xers explain the 90s swing music craze and other fleeting musical obsessions

Gregorian chants were all the rage for a minute, too.

Photo credit: Canva

Gen X went through an eclectic phase of musical obsessions.

Every Gen Xer remembers a small moment in time when swing music was extremely popular in the late '90s. Swing went from nonexistent to an alt-rock radio mainstay from 1996 to 1998 and then, it was gone in a flash.

During that time, young people rushed to their nearest dance studios to learn the Lindy Hop and bought up old-school, retro suits and fedoras. Swing clubs started popping up all over the country and MTV played swing-inspired videos such as "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zippers, "Jump Jive an' Wail" by Brian Setzer Orchestra and "You and Me (and the Bottle Makes Three)" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

Film editor Simone Smith asked Gen X to explain what the hell was going on in the late '90s that led to swing music making a huge comeback.

 

It's always hard to figure out how specific trends crop up, but according to Kenneth Partridge from Billboard, it began with the formation of Royal Crown Revue in 1989 by two members of the seminal L.A. punk band Youth Brigade. Royal Crown Revue's old-school '40s tough-guy aesthetic was something punks could relate to while also bringing back the danceable '40s sound.

The band had a Wednesday night residency at L.A.'s The Derby before turning it over to Big bad Voodoo Daddy, who were featured in Jon Favreau's 1996 surprise hit "Swingers."

"Swingers" was probably the most important moment in the swing revival. The film centered around friends who roam L.A. like a modern-day Rat Pack to a soundtrack featuring Dean Martin, Count Basie and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Others attribute swing's rise in popularity to "A League of their Own," (1992) "Swing Kids" (1993) and "The Mask" (1994).

In 1998, The Gap brought swing to the mainstream with its "Khakis Swing" commercial, featuring good-looking young people Lindy-hopping to the sounds of Louis Prima.

On a psychological level, the swing craze seemed to be a pivot from the dreariness of grunge rock that began to fade from the public consciousness by around 1996. Some also think that the upbeat, fun music was a response to the return to the prosperity of Clinton-era America.

 

At the same time, rave culture, which was also centered around dancing and had an upbeat aesthetic, was becoming popular as well.

Some Gen Xers did their best to explain the phenomenon that felt like it came out of nowhere.

 

"Because it's 150% awesome and Gen Xers have better taste in music/ dance/ culture than any other generation and we dgaf what anybody thinks of us," wrote one commenter.

 

"Two more things: 1. The 90s had a broader affection for 40s/late 30s fashion, kind of like the 80s had for the 50s, and 2. The boomers would never shut up about how the 60s were the one true youth culture, which made it extra appealing to embrace their parents’ music over theirs," wrote another.

Swing music? it could have been worse.

 

Smith may be confused that there was a big swing craze in the '90s, but she should also know that it wasn't the only strange musical comeback of the era. What in the world was the whole Gregorian chant craze about?

 

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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'Forgotten' water harvesting system transforms 'barren wasteland' into thriving farmland

The half moons even help replenish the water table.

Credit: Andrew Millison/YouTube

Half moons allow water to be retained for agriculture and even replenish the groundwater table.

When the Great Green Wall initiative began in 2007, it was just a vision of a big, beautiful wall of greenery spanning the width of Africa to keep the Sahara Desert from encroaching on the rest of the continent. Despite years of successes and failures, celebration and criticism, we can see the progress being made as an inspiring example of how local and global collaboration can help counter the effects of climate change.

Just a few years ago, the Sahel region at the northern edge of Senegal was a "barren wasteland" where nothing had grown for 40 years. But the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) and local villagers teamed up to regreen the area, bringing back agriculture, improving the economy of the people who live there, and preventing the climate migration that desertification ultimately leads to.

 climate change, desertification, dry, global warming, barren A barren desert.Canva Photos

How do you hold back the world's largest hot desert?

According to Andrew Millison, a permaculture designer and instructor at Oregon State University, the Sahara desert has expanded by about 10% in the past 100 years. The idea behind the Great Green Wall is to build a barrier of vegetation to stop that expansion, which threatens the ecosystems and economies of the Sahel—the region south of the Sahara that separates the desert from the savanna.

In a video from February of 2024, Millison shared the collaborative nature and progress of one Great Green Wall project in Senegal, including the rejuvenation of 300,000 hectares (about the equivalent of 600,000 football fields) of seemingly unusable land.

  - YouTube  youtu.be  

 

"The process started with the community-based participatory planning," WFP program policy officer Bakalilou Diaby shares in the video. "By the end of this process, it was agreed that one of the major actions is the land reclamation or land recovery project."

At first, it took some time to convince the community that the regreening of the degraded landscape was even possible, but after learning about how to improve the land, "the people believe and they are convinced, and they are also committed," says Diaby.

The "forgotten" half-moon method of harvesting water

One of the keys to this particular regreening project is using long-forgotten techniques for harvesting water. When soil is crusted and sunbaked and hard as cement, rainwater doesn't penetrate and it's impossible for plants to take root. The solution? Half-moon shaped ditches dug in such a way that water flows into them on the straight side with an embankment built on the rounded side to hold the water in. Each half moon is four meters in diameter and takes about a day for one person to dig.

Local vegetation domesticated on the Sahel thousands of years ago, such as sorghum and millet, are planted in these half moons, rehabilitating the land and feeding the local community at the same time.

"This is nothing new—we have not invented a technology here," explains Sebastian Muller from the WFP resilience team. "The half moon technology is actually an endogenous technology to the Sahel and has been forgotten over time. We have rescued it from the past."

Not only does capturing water in the half moons help with the immediate need to grow food and contribute to the Great Green Wall, but 10%—15% of the water will actually soak into the ground to replenish the water table, creating a more sustainable agricultural process.

"That way we actually achieve a balance of water. So we are not depleting the water resources, but we're making sure that we keep enough water in the ground for future generations," says Muller.

Other crops such as okra and tomatoes are grown in horizontal horticulture beds, and between those ditches grow trenches with fruit trees in them.

 fruit trees, sustainable farming, agriculture, horticulture, regreening, climate change Fruit trees.Canva Photos

Engaging indigenous wisdom for sustainable farming

"This is just a very first step in this pilot," adds Muller. "We'll also be using other native species that will be planting in the pits that will drive the rejuvenation of the soil and the protection of the soil as the system starts growing into abundance and producing food and life for the people here."

According to Muller, the "syntropic farming" methods being employed were developed in Brazil and are based on global indigenous practices that mimic the way natural forests grow and thrive. These natural growing dynamics make agriculture more sustainable, continually replenishing the land rather than continually depleting it—truly a testament to global collaboration carried out at the local level with local community support.

"This project was really, really interesting because the World Food Programme wanted to demonstrate how you could take the most devastated areas and turn them back into resilient, food-producing locations," says Millison. "And they specifically placed their project on a very degraded landscape that had been taken down to bare, compacted earth."

If this desertified "wasteland" can be rejuvenated so successfully, it provides hope for recovering other land that many people might write off as useless or barren. As climate change continues to alter the Earth's landscape—literally—we'll need to keep working together both locally and globally to find solutions like the Great Green Wall and support their implementation.

You can learn more about successful permaculture practices on Andrew Millison's YouTube channel.

This article originally appeared in January.

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