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Therapists are singing praises for Turning Red and here's why parents should take note

Therapists are singing praises for Turning Red and here's why parents should take note
Turning Red/Walt Disney Company

The new Disney+ film Turning Red is starting conversations about women's health and sexaulity

The vast majority of people walking the earth today remember what it was like to be a 13-year-old child. Wrestling with the idea that you’re growing up, hormones are all over the place, and suddenly you want to be more than friends with some of your classmates. It’s a weird and complicated age, but Disney’s Turning Red takes on the challenge with a strong 13 year old female lead who grapples with cultural norms, coming of age and finding her voice. The themes of this movie don’t fall too far from the Disney tradition of displaying coming of age stories in anything from the Little Mermaid to Finding Nemo.

Mei is a 2nd generation Chinese Canadian girl who struggles with regulating her emotions, which is something we can all relate to when it comes to navigating becoming a teenager. The cultural piece is something that really resonated with 2nd generation Chinese Canadian therapists. I took the time to speak with a few therapists to get their thoughts on Disney’s Turning Red.

Jocelyn Lam, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes working with this population said “I loved Turning Red because of the nuanced approach to the mother-daughter relationships across generations in the Lee Family. Mei-Lin grapples with saving face and being a ‘loyal’ daughter to her family, versus embracing a more messy side to her personality and broader range of emotions, which is a common struggle that 2nd generation Chinese teens experience.” Lam went on to express how much she “loved that the story spotlighted how interdependence within Chinese families can result in strength and vulnerability.”

With Turning Red, Disney has sparked an important cultural conversation

It’s clear that Disney struck an important chord by capturing how culture and mental health intertwine. Lisa Ibekwe, a licensed clinical social worker and first generation American viewed the movie and said “Turning Red was a phenomenal depiction of the thin line between culture and intergenerational trauma. It represents how culture heavily influences what we pass down to our children. Many children in general struggle to express their wants and desires to adults, and it’s even harder when there is a cultural gap between their desires and the expectations.”

While the cultural stuff stood out to many who rarely see their culture played out on the big screen, that wasn’t the only reason therapists have been singing the praises of the movie. There are some therapeutic things in there that parents might have missed, but kids could truly learn from. Jocelyn pointed out “the movie showed active coping tools and redirection of thought, open discussion of menstruation, accepting that different emotions can co-exist, a holistic view of psychological happiness and addressing intergenerational trauma.”

Turning Red helps show the importance of talking about sex education with kids 

Jenny Moore Greunke, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker expressed that Turning Red was “such a great example of not feeling the need to change yourself to make others comfortable. Showing that being who you are without shame is healing, even when there may be generations before you who haven’t evolved to your level of emotional intelligence yet. Radical Self love!” Kathleen Hearne, Licensed Professional Counselor said “through openly talking about the traumas and it’s affects can help individuals and generations grow and thrive from those experiences verses it causing continued trauma within the family through hurtful behavior patterns.” Hearne went further to say that “it’s helpful in normalizing that we all have experiences in life that have shaped us and that we can use them to thrive and grow towards our authentic self by being open and compassionate with ourselves and others.”

The themes that Turning Red touches on are so deep and important that it is amazing to see how seamlessly Disney pulled this movie off. Preteens and teens can see themselves in Mei-Lin and learn to embrace their “messy side” while also learning how to regulate their strong emotions through the coping mechanisms so carefully placed within this movie. Hats off to Disney for not shying away from the hard stuff while also giving us tools and healing to move forward when we relate to the film.

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A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

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Woman shares sweet exchange with 92-year-old grandpa who invited her over for 'sleepover'

“We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

Photo by Mark Farías on Unsplash
man in black suit jacket kissing woman in white sleeveless dress

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her.

The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

It started when Megan's grandpa texted her to ask if she'd like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.”

When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn't forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another.

Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

Megan's time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

"I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent," she wrote on Instagram, "so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live."


This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

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Hospice nurse shares clue she uses to know if someone is dying 6 months before it happens

"Allow the body to be the guide."

via Sabinevanerp/Pixabay

An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one.

That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.

Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of lightA Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels



What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpetAn angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

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Incredible 'bird feeder' photos give a whole new perspective on our feathered friends

It's amazing the magic we can find in our own yards.

via Carla Rhodes

Two northern cardinals captured on Carla Rhodes' bird-feeder camera.

The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate their surroundings. When you’re stuck at home more often than you’d like, you start to pay a lot more attention to what goes on in your own backyard.

This type of introspection inspired wildlife photographer Carla Rhodes to get a closer look at the furry friends that live near her home in the Catskill mountains of New York.

What she found was magical.

“The winter of 2020-2021 was particularly brutal to humankind. After months of enduring the Covid-19 pandemic, we were now collectively slogging through winter. As a result of being stuck at home, I focused on my immediate surroundings like never before,” Rhodes said in a statement.

Rhodes positioned a DSLR camera trap beneath her bird feeder to get an up-close glimpse of the wildlife that came to sample her delicious seeds.

The results are an incredible series of photos of birds and other woodland creatures from a vantage point most people never see. Rhodes calls her project, "Beneath the Bird Feeder."

The birdfeeder photos also gave a new glimpse into the behavior of several species of birds and rodents that call the Catskills home.

“As I got deeper into the project, intriguing observations emerged,” Rhodes says. “I noticed distinct repeat visitors such as a Dark-Eyed Junco with an overgrown beak, a deer mouse with a notched ear, and an irruption of Red-Breasted Nuthatches. Dark-Eyed Juncos always showed up at the crack of dawn and Northern Cardinals would always be the last visitor of the day as dusk turned into evening.”

Here are 15 of the most captivating photos that Rhodes captured from beneath her bird feeder.

1. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

"Often overlooked and considered drab ground-feeding birds, Dark-Eyed Juncos hold a special place in my heart due to their funny and curious behaviors. Every day they were first to arrive beneath the bird feeder," Rhodes says. "Dark-Eyed Juncos were one of the most frequent and curious subjects beneath the bird feeder."

2. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

3. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

4. Tufted titmouse

via Carla Rhodes

According to All About Birds, the tufted titmouse is "common in eastern deciduous forests and a frequent visitor to feeders."

5. Mourning dove

via Carla Rhodes

​"Observing Mourning Doves was a daily pleasure, especially when they gathered to form a clean-up crew beneath the bird feeder. Mourning doves are monogamous and possibly mate for life," Rhodes writes.

6. Mourning dove 

via Carla Rhodes

7.  Mourning doves

via Carla Rhodes

8. Blue jay

via Carla Rhodes

"Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems with tight family bonds," All About Birds says. "Their fondness for acorns is credited with helping spread oak trees after the last glacial period."

9. Northern cardinal

via Carla Rhodes

"Northern Cardinals were always the last to show up beneath the bird feeder, shortly after dusk every evening," Rhodes writes.

10. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

"Little flocks of Black-capped Chickadees enliven the winter woods with their active behavior and their cheery-sounding chick-a-dee callnotes as they fly from tree to tree, often accompanied by an assortment of nuthatches, creepers, kinglets, and other birds," the Audubon field guide to North American birds says.

11. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

12. Eastern gray squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

Eastern gray squirrels are important members of forest ecosystems as they play a vital role in dispersing seeds.

 13. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

The American red squirrel is known for its distinct bushy and dark red tail with hints of a white outline.

14. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

15. Northern short-tailed shrew

via Carla Rhodes

If you see a northern short-tailed shrew, be careful. It's venomous and paralyzes its victims with poisonous saliva. In humans, a bite can cause swelling and intense pain.


This article originally appeared on 01.03.22

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'Couple' was asked what they love about each other. Turns out they're siblings with a beautiful bond.

This is honestly better than most romantic love stories.

@davidbshane/TikTok (via Upworthy/Instagram)

Sometimes a sibling bond transcends all else.

"Love" is one of the most powerful words in the English language, yet it's also one of the most broadly defined. We use the word "love" for so many things that are neither the same nor equal—our families, our friends, our romantic partners, our hobbies—even our favorite foods.

When we think of a "love story," we almost exclusively imagine a tale of romance, but that's not the only kind of love story there is. Sometimes the strongest, most meaningful loves of our lives aren't romantic at all.

David Shane creates videos in which he approaches couples in public and asks them to share three things they love about each other, resulting in some major #couplegoals moments. But one "couple" he approached had a surprising answer to that question, one that moved both them and the people watching the video afterward to tears.

Blane approached a man and woman sitting on a bench at a mall and asked his signature question—"Excuse me, could you give me three things you love about each other?" The woman responded, "Well, this is my brother," and proceeded to share that she loved that they were related and that they care about each other—typical family stuff. But as she started elaborating, the beautiful bond they share became more and more apparent.

This is one you just have to watch:

People were understandably moved seeing this brother and sister express their love for one another through serious life challenges.

"This is what love looks like. 🥹 What a truly beautiful sibling relationship, 😭🫶🏽" wrote one commenter.

"I gotta stop watching these right after I do my makeup," wrote another.

"Gosh, I love questions like this that remind us to SEE two people sitting in a mall as the true, precious humans they are," shared another. "We walk past people every day, all day long and never get to know their story. There must be so many stories we miss. This is the beauty of social media. I wish both of these sweet souls the very best. So glad they have each other."

Many of us have people with whom we share a deep connection but may not always share our feelings freely. This video is a good reminder to let our loved ones know what they mean to us and to treasure all the love stories in our lives, whether romantic, platonic or familial.


This article originally appeared on 9.29.23

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