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"What Do You Know About The Female Body?" from Jimmy Kimmel

When Jimmy Kimmel takes to the street, you know you’re in for a good laugh at just how little we actually know about, well, seemingly anything. That goes for anatomy too. In this case, female anatomy.

In a segment called “What Do You Know About The Female Body?” men try—and hilariously fail—to answer even the most basic questions, like “does a female have one uterus, or two?” much to the amazement of some of their female partners.

Here are some of the very best bits of nonwisdom:


Woman have LOTS of fallopian tubes and ovaries, apparently.

When asked, “how many fallopian tubes does the average lady have?” one man prefaced with “I know I’m gonna be way off,” before answering “four.”

He was right about being way off, indeed. Women usually have one fallopian tube on either side of the uterus, making that two fallopian tubes.

Another guy guessed that a woman has not one, not two, but six ovaries. Which, in case you didn’t know, is three times more than the correct answer (two ovaries, one on either side of the uterus). Where would a woman keep four extra ovaries? Her purse?

A mammogram examines the stomach.

The interviewer also asked: “What part of the body does the mammogram examine?"

"The lower half…" replied one man. Yikes.

And when asked to demonstrate where exactly the “lower half” is, he gestured toward the uppermost part of his belly, seemingly avoiding the actual area a mammogram covers entirely.

PMS is all in the mind, but only annually.

man in green black and yellow floral button up shirtPhoto by Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash

The next question up was “What does PMS stand for?"

One man shyly answered, “Post…mental…syndrome?”

One outta three ain’t bad. But the correct answer is premenstrual syndrome.

And it definitely happens more than “once a year.”

An IUD is a “mammogram device.”

Oh, and a NuvaRing is a “pap schmear,” and a speculum is the actual “IUD.” Holy moly, if you thought IUDs were uncomfortable before…

Things really took a turn once the graphics came out.

And men were asked to point to where the cervix is. Plenty of things were pointed at—like the uterus. But sadly, no cervix findings.

Changing gears, the interview instructed the men to “point at something you know.”

To which one man replied (inaccurately) “uh…that’s a baby?”

Unless the woman is giving birth to a colon, that was incorrect.

Later in the video, a man is asked “where does the baby go?”

“In there,” the man answers after pointing to the ovaries. (Spoiler alert: It doesn’t go there. A fetus grows in the uterus, which this man thought was the cervix.)

His wife, a gynecologist no less, chuckled “I’m mortified…I’m apparently not a very good educator at home for my husband.”

Though this is just for pure fun, it is food for thought.

A woman’s autonomy over her own body has been the subject of much controversial discussion lately. And I can’t help but wonder how certain politicians/leaders would fare if given the same questions. Perhaps it is unwise to try to govern that which is not fully understood, just saying.


This article originally appeared on 01.14.22

Woman can't figure out how she accidentally stole Target basket

Forgetting something is part of the human experience. At some point in everyone's life they've forgotten something at least once, sometimes it's something big but most people forget things that can be quickly rectified. One woman has gone viral after not realizing that she forgot to leave the Target basket at the store after shopping.

The TikTok account, Chris and Erin uploaded a video recently of Erin leaning over a Target basket on her kitchen counter.

She looked exhausted and slightly annoyed with her husband repeatedly asking her if she forgot something. The woman had a travel pillow wrapped around her neck as she looked through the basket trying to figure out what Chris could possibly be going on about.

Chris doesn't let up. He chuckles and asks, "Okay, so you have no idea what you have done?" Erin simply looks back through the basket confused before commenting on getting herself the fancier neck pillow. It's as if the basket does not exist.


Does the basket exist? Does Erin have a reusable Target shopping bag that looks exactly like the red baskets in the store? It was clear that she was not picking up on her husband's hints so he very clearly explains they have to go back to the store because she brought the basket home. That's when the realization hits as her mind registers the clearly marked basket on the counter causing an expletive to slip. Commenters had questions, including the official Target account who chimed in on the mishap.

Giant Target Basket Display Miami | Phillip Pessar | Flickrwww.flickr.com

"I knew I was missing something," Target jokes.

"Are we even sure she paid for the stuff," one person asks.

"How often do you hold a Target basket for it to feel natural for it to be in your home," someone questions.

"Either she was trying to reduce plastic bag use or she needs a week or two of a beach vacation," a commenter notes.

Chris and Erin were quick to respond that a vacation was indeed needed.

Hopefully Erin gets that beach vacation and not a vacation that involves a view from behind bars for accidentally lifting a Target basket while shopping.

Watch the video below:

@chris_erin

Judge Away We’ve All Done It Right? #fyp #basket

This article originally appeared on 4.7.24

Joy

Gen X has hit 'that stage' of life and is not handling it very well

We are NOT prepared for Salt-n-Pepa to replace Michael McDonald in the waiting room at the doctor's office, thankyouverymuch.

Gen X is eating dinner earlier and earlier. It's happening.

The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.

And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here?

It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey?


As they so often do, Penn and Kim Holderness from The Holderness Family have captured the Gen X existential crisis in a video that has us both nodding a long and laughing out loud. Salt-n-Pepa in the waiting room at the doctor's office? Uh, no. That's a line we are not ready to cross yet. Nirvana being played on the Classic Rock station? Nope, not prepared for that, either.

Watch:

Hoo boy, the denial is real, isn't it? We grew up on "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, for goodness sake, and it's starting to feel like we made a wrong choice a chapter or two back and suddenly landed our entire generation in a time warp. This isn't real, is it? Thirty years ago was the 1970s. That's just a Gen X fact. So what if we've lived long enough for our high school fashions to go out of style and then back into style and then back out of style again?

Seriously, though, we can either lament our age and stage in life or we can laugh about it, and people are grateful to the Holdernesses for assisting with the latter. Gen X fans are also thrilled to see their own experiences being validated, because at this point, we've all had that moment in the grocery store or the waiting room when one of our jams came on and we immediately went into a panic.

"They were playing The Cure in the grocery store and I almost started crying," wrote one commenter. "I mean, how 'alternative' can you be if you're being played in Krogers? You guys are great! Thanks for making us laugh."

"I couldn’t believe it when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody being played in Walmart," shared another. "That was edgy in my day."

"I know!!! Bon Jovi at the grocery store!!! That was my clue in!!" added another.

"Long live Gen Xers! We have to be strong!! We can get through this together!! #NKOTBmeetsAARP" wrote on commenter.You can find more from the Holderness Family on their Facebook page, their podcast and their website, theholdernessfamily.com.


This article originally appeared on 1.28.24

Joy

German toddler schools his dad on driving—and the rest of us on the origins of English

A hilarious viral video demonstrates why English is considered a Germanic language.

Out of the mouths of babes…

Tiny humans talking is cute in any language, but sometimes a video comes along that take adorable to a whole new level. Remember the little girl who was passionate about pencil justice? Or the Italian preschooler who did a full Italian rant about a miniskirt? Kids say the darnedest things, and when the darned things they say are caught on video, virality almost inevitable.

Now there's the German toddler who sternly gives his father a road rules lesson, literally side-seat driving and chastising him for accelerating too fast. His "Oh, mein Gott!" has people rolling, as does his ingrained respect for the rules of proper driving.

Watch:

Not only is the video a hilarious viral moment on its own merit, but it's also a pretty solid demonstration of how the English language originated.

English is considered a Germanic language, which is sometimes confusing because most of the words we use don't actually come from German. Some people mistakenly think English is a romance language like Spanish or French, but it's not. More than half of our vocabulary comes from French and Latin, though, hence a lot of the confusion.

Around a quarter of our vocabulary comes from German, but where our Germanic roots really come through is in our grammar and syntax. The order in which we say words is the same, such as putting adjectives in front of nouns (which is the opposite of romance languages). And our grammatical structure is very similar, with only a handful of somewhat minor differences.

As we see in the video, the German sentences are almost understandable without even having the translations on the screen. In the beginning, it almost sounds exactly like he's saying "Wait! Stop! Halt!" just with a German accent, even though he's actually speaking German. "Papa, da ist rot!" is so close to "Papa, that is red!" And "Oh, mein Gott!" is very clearly, "Oh, my God!" which is part of why English-speakers are finding the video so entertaining and also educational.

Check out these comments:

"We need an entire channel with this kid teaching us to speak German."

"Need my GPS to go 'aaaah! Mein gott, das ist zu viel' when I go over the speed limit."

"I just learned so much German.. this baby is more effective than Duolingo lol."

"MY German instructor. I'd so learn how to speak German from this baby 😭💕 I just learned like 5 words already!"

"How is it I can't understand toddlers that speak English but I can understand a German toddler without even knowing the language 😂"

"Americans are so much more used to hearing Spanish and French that we forget that our own language has nothing to do with them, and is actually much more closely related to what this little boy is saying. That's why it sounds so familiar to American ear ! :-)"

People also joked about his adult-like adherence to rules and regulations, as the German culture is known for such things.

"He's between 3 and 75 years old."

"This ain't kids first life on earth."

"Did he learn that somewhere or is that factory settings?"

"Lil bro has a decent credit score already and he isn't even fully out of the diaper stage of his life😂"

"That’s not a kid, that’s a full grown driving instructor 🤣🤣"

Thanks to the wee German lad for the fabulous driving and language lesson.