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Boomers and Gen Xers share things they grew up with that they wish young people could experience

"The satisfaction that comes with slamming down a landline phone receiver."

Photo by Muhammed Aktürk/Pexels

Kids used to wander and play unsupervised outside for hours.

Those of us who grew up in the age before the internet have memories that today's young people will likely never have. Boomer and Gen X childhoods were simpler in many ways, not having access to endless entertainment or the pitfalls of the online world to contend with on a daily basis.

The internet has arguably made human life better in many ways, but it has also fundamentally changed what growing up looks like. Where the older generations had a handful of TV shows at set times on limited channels, younger folks can binge watch streaming shows and YouTube channels 24/7. Boomers used manual typewriters while millennials had laptops. Gen X carried Walkmans while Gen Z carries smartphones.

And that's just technology. The world has changed in other ways, too, including greater safety awareness that's changed the way people parent and kids having less access to untouched nature. Change isn't inherently good or bad, but there are definitely some nostalgic elements of boomer and Gen X upbringings that those older generations wish today's young people could enjoy.

Here are some top answers to the question, "What is something you grew up with that you wish younger generations to experience?" from people born before 1980 on Reddit.

Being unreachable

"The freedom to be unreachable and unaware of what everyone on earth is doing at any given time, meaning ... life pre-iphone and pre-social media."

"Pre CELL phone. Pre pager. (I mean, I know early cell phones were around but virtually no one had them pre-1993 and certainly no one expected or even considered them except high paid business folk)."

"Yes, I came here to say anonymity but being unreachable was so nice."

"I remember leaving my phone home and not thinking anything of it. Now it’s not even ‘optional’. Phone is firmly a part of the ‘keys, wallet’ checklist before leaving the house."

"Yes, having people be able to reach out to you 24/7 is not a good thing."

Unrestricted, unsupervised outside exploration

"Running wild outside in the country for entire day without even considering anything that could go wrong."

"We used to just run around the woods by my friends house, and had tree forts and rode bikes around to the neighborhood kids houses. No concept of time outside of sunset. I think that might get lost in the shuffle more today."

"This would be mine as well. Hop on your bike with a friend or two and head out. Maybe to the creek or the woods or the dime store downtown. Just an amazing aimless wandering with no fear of being accosted by anyone. A quick ten cent phone call home to let mom know where you were. Just be home for dinner. Our era had the best childhood ever."

"This is true. I would wander for miles. But the thing is, looking back I can now see more than a handful of incidents that I was very lucky to escape by the skin of my teeth. I’m talking about hitchhiking or telling my parents I was sleeping over someone’s house, them telling their parents they were sleeping at mine and then staying out all night. Stuff like that. It was fun- good times but when I think of MY kid or grandkids doing the same thing I want to throw up."

The joy of wonder without answers

"Wonder. Sometimes we would just wonder about something. Watching a movie with friends. Someone says 'I wonder if William Holden is still alive?' Everybody would shrug and say 'I don’t know' and you go on with your lives."

"Something humbling and wonderful about not knowing. Now with so much knowledge literally in our hands, we have this anxious 'need to know' everything. And everyone has become a Tik Tok expert."

"Or allowing mysterious, wondrous stuff exist without explanations that are instantly available to remove the sense of awe about how odd, crazy, wonderful, talented, insane, or whatever our world can be."

"The world was more of a mystery back then. That has both its upsides and downsides, but I can't help but feel that some of the wonder has dissipated."

The gift of boredom

"Boredom. Boredom breeds creativity. Boredom has been removed from their lives."

"The skills you gain from the experience of being bored, every now and then. Principally, how you can develop that inner voice, which has been my friend on many occasions and saved my bacon many more. If you always rely on external sources for information or support you’ll surely get stuck when things go wrong or you have to make a decision quickly."

"Boredom leads to reading plus learning to play instruments."

"While I’m happy my kids made friends online the desperation of boredom and creating your own things was really important for me."

"Boredom. The number of times I whined to my parents I was bored and their answer was just 'then go find something to do' led to all kinds of fun."

The freedom to make mistakes

"Being able to make a mistake without it going viral online."

"Experiencing awkward coming of age scenarios without being documented in a server farm somewhere with world wide access."

"I'm sorry kids don't have the chance to make mistakes and correct them without it being memorialized online to follow them forever."

"Being able to break things and make mistakes... the cost is way too high now."

Tactile pleasures

"The satisfaction that comes with slamming down a landline phone receiver."

"Encyclopedias."

"Paper maps. I’d love to see someone in this day and age successfully use (and fold back to its original form) a paper map."

"Reading a book instead of playing video games (most useless invention possible). I'm actually old enough to remember no TV in the house and no radio either (my parents read newspapers and magazines instead for their news but it's a much slower feed and more local)."

"The thrill of buying a vinyl album. I know you can still do that, but it just doesn't seem the same. Back in the '60s and '70s they were absolute TREASURES."

"Sleeping on sheets that had been dried out on a clothesline in spring. The scent on those sheets was intoxicating."

Travel feeling more adventurous

"Going on a road trip with your friends to somewhere you've never been, navigating your way there with a road atlas, and then exploring it without consulting any online reviews or suggestions from Google Maps."

"Experience world travel the way it used to be. There was a time when traveling to another country was a big deal and it was adventurous.

Now, we can buy a last minute ticket on a flash sale, read about the destination on the way to the airport, watch Hollywood movies on the plane, rent a car from a familiar brand, stay at a known hotel chain, eat familiar food and use your GPS to guide you around while you chat in real time with your friends.

Travel is still fun but the magic and romance are mostly gone. That feeling of being far away and completely submerged in a strange culture almost doesn't exist anymore. It's too easy and homogenized now."

"So true. Even back in the early 2000s I remember being on a bus in South America with an American 19 year old who was really captivated by the idea that I travelled in the 1970s "before email." You had to wait two weeks to receive any kind of letter at the General Delivery post office of whatever country you were in. There was so much freedom in that, and a real submersion into the local culture, an ability to let go of your cultural touchstones and become someone new."

"The old way of traveling meant there was a lot of serendipity happening. You’d head to some town you knew nothing about and get chatting with someone on the bus who would then invite you to stay at their house. They would feed you and show you around, help you navigate whatever you needed to head on your way. A lovely way to meet people and learn about nearby treasures to see that you knew nothing about. Now , everything can be researched and plotted out beforehand. I still travel in an unplanned way, with no agenda, no lodgings figured out, but when I mention it, other people shudder and say their anxiety wouldn’t allow it. Did we not have anxiety in the old days? Yes, we did, but it was all part of taking risks in life."

There's a lot that's better, easier, faster and more convenient about life in the 21st century, but there really was something special about growing up in the pre-internet days, wasn't there?

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Family

Millennial mom asks her own mom about raising a kid in the 80s and is mortified

"What did you do without Google?!"

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.

This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

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motherood

Married couples are blending their last names to stick it to the patriarchy

7 real couples share their made-up new names

Photo by Skye Studios on Unsplash

Brangelina. Kimye. "Combined names" are a key step in becoming a celebrity "it" couple. But regular people all over the U.S. are doing the same thing. And making it legal.

I recently read about the phenomenon of married couples legally taking a smushed-together — or otherwise completely invented — version of their last names.

Smith and Johnson become the Smithsons, for example. It's sometimes called name blending or name-meshing.

I started asking around: Had anyone else heard of this?

Turns out, a ton of people had. Almost everyone I asked knew a couple who had done it officially, done it unofficially, or at least thought about it.

It might sound kind of odd, but there are a lot of great reasons modern couples choose to do something like this — everything from gender equality (FTW!) to giving the kids a fresh family identity to make their own.

Here are seven forward-thinking, creative, and diverse couples who chose to use a combined name, and why they did it.

1. Carla Cole + Brian Martin = the Latimers

These two turned to an unlikely tool when they decided to combine names: an anagram generator.

"We wanted a family name to share with the kids," Carla says.

She says they almost had guests at their wedding vote on their top five favorite names. Instead, they wound up choosing on their own.

"We dropped our middle birth names, moved our maiden names to our middle names, and added the new last name," she says.

And lived happily ever after.

a newly married couple walking through a field Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

2. Blair Eckenrode + Megan Christensen = the Eckensens

When Eckenrode and Christensen got married, they had some understandably complicated feelings about the institution.

Questioning the long upheld standards of marriage gave the couple a lot of freedom to define their own union how they saw fit. The first thing to go? The historic coverture laws that originated today's commonplace tradition of a woman relinquishing a part of her identity, her name, and assuming her husband's.

"We are a family, and we share every part of our lives with each other, and we also desired to share a name," Blair says. "So we got creative and here we are — a nontraditionally created name for a 'nontraditional' marriage."

3. Sally and Ryan Stauffer = the Elainskas

When these two first got married, they did what Sally calls "the normal thing," and went with her husband's last name of Stauffer. A few years later, Ryan had a confession to make — he wished they'd gone another route.

"In the end we decided to combine Gaelic to represent his ancestry and Polish to represent mine," Sally says. They chose words that loosely translated to "people of art," plus a few tweaks to make it easy to spell and pronounce, and suddenly they were the Elainskas.

Their families have had mixed reactions, Sally says, but there's only one thing that really matters: "I couldn't be happier with the decision and with my perfect partner!"

two grooms run happily at a wedding Photo by Maico Pereira on Unsplash

4. Sonia Abrams + Stephen Moss = the Abramoss kids

When these two tied the knot, they both agreed it'd be best to keep their own last names. The kids? That was a different story.

"We both felt a little weird about not having a little bit of [both] our names in our kid," Sonia says. That's when they got the idea to combine, and Abramoss just felt like a winning combination.

"My dad did not like it at all, but I think he got over it," she says. "It feels neat to have our kid's' names be a combo of ours, since our kids are a perfect combo of the two of us."

5. Sara Kunitake + Jonah Horowitz = the Horotakes

"Sara has a very strong attachment to her family name. She’s the last Kunitake grandchild, and she hesitated to give the name up," Jonah says. "Also, she has invested a lot in building her brand professionally as Sara Kunitake and didn’t want to have to rebuild as Sara Horowitz."

So they merged to become the Horotakes. "We really like the sound of it and it merges our Japanese and Jewish heritage."

6. Jesse Rauch + Lissa McManus = the McRauchs

Feminism has been an important thread throughout Jesse and Lissa's relationship.

"As our relationship deepened, I felt it was important to be completely equal in our relationship," Jesse says. "We both wear engagement rings. I didn't get on one knee — so we looked each other in the eye."

Jesse says most people are really supportive, or even jealous they didn't think of it, but his parents keep asking, 'Are you really doing that?"

"They may need more time," he says.

7. Ash Russell + Crystal Fields = the Rocketships

That's right. Meet Mrs. and Mrs. Rocketship.

Ash says the couple talked a lot about "how neither of us were really attached to our family names and how it would be nice to share a name once we were married."

Her alternative? Pick something random, but meaningful. It got the couple talking about their shared love of outer space.

"We joked about Lightyear, after Buzz, and then one of us — probably me because I am nothing if not overjoyed at being obnoxious — said, 'We should just pick something random ... like, rocketship.' And it just stuck."

From there, the paperwork was a breeze, and the Rocketships became the coolest family in the solar system.

This article originally appeared on 8.11.17

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Culture

Guy starts singing a Sam Cooke song at the barbershop and blows everyone away

With 7 million views on TikTok alone, Shawn Louisiana's incredible viral video is a must-see.

Shawn Louisiana/YouTube

Sometimes a person opens their mouth to sing, and magic happens. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what qualities make a voice transcend the average and transfix an audience, but we know it when we hear it.

Enter Shawn Louisiana.

A video of him singing in a barbershop has gone viral and it's definitely worth a watch. He wrote on YouTube, "The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song," but when he started singing "A Change is Gonna Come," he definitely proved that he could. Really well. Like, whoa.

Watch:

The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song #achangegonnacomewww.youtube.com

There's a reason that video has gotten nearly 7 million views on TikTok alone.

Louisiana frequently shares videos of himself just singing casually for the camera, and I don't understand why this man's talent is not more well known yet.

I mean, just listen to this "Stand By Me" cover. Like butter. Sing me to sleep, sir.

Stand By Me - Ben E. King cover #tiktokwww.youtube.com

His Instagram account says he's available to book for weddings. That's nice, but someone please get this man a record deal so we can listen to him croon all day.

For more from Shawn Louisiana, follow him on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.

This article originally appeared on 9.1.21

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Pets

Dogs can recognize a liar and there’s science to prove it

Lesson: Don't lie to your dog.

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Can a dog really trust you?

Dogs can smell fear, but can they sniff out the truth? Your dog might actually be smarter than you're giving it credit for. It turns out, dogs are pretty good at picking up on human behavior. Science says so. A team led by Akiko Takaoka of Kyoto University in Japan conducted a study which found out that dogs actually know if you're to be believed or not.

The study involved tricking dogs in the name of science. Humans have known for a long time that if you point at an object, a dog will run to it. Researchers utilized this information in their study. During the experiment, they pointed at a container that was filled with hidden food. Sure enough, the dog ran towards the container. Then, they pointed at a container that was empty. The dogs ran towards it, but found that it had no food.

The third time the researchers pointed at a container with food, the dogs refused to go to the container. They knew the person pointing wasn't reliable based off their previous experience. 34 dogs were used in the experiment, and every single dog wouldn't go towards the container the third time. This experiment either proves that dogs can spot a liar or that dogs have major trust issues.

Puppy in a bowl.

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In other words, if you lie to your dog, your dog forms the opinion that your word isn't good and will behave accordingly. "Dogs have more sophisticated social intelligence than we thought. This social intelligence evolved selectively in their long life history with humans," said Takaoka, who was also surprised that dogs were quick when they "devalued the reliability of a human.”

John Bradshaw of the University of Bristol in the UK, who wasn't involved in this study, says that the results indicate that dogs prefer predictability. When gestures are inconsistent, dogs tend to become nervous and stressed.

The researchers have plans to repeat the experiment swapping out the dogs with wolves because wolves are closely related to dogs. The point of this isn't to get bitten by wolves, but rather, to see the "profound effects of domestication" on dogs.

This article originally appeared on 06.06.19.

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Science

A juice company dumped orange peels in a national park. Here's what it looks like now.

12,000 tons of food waste and 21 years later, this forest looks totally different.

In 1997, ecologists Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs approached an orange juice company in Costa Rica with an off-the-wall idea.

In exchange for donating a portion of unspoiled, forested land to the Área de Conservación Guanacaste — a nature preserve in the country's northwest — the park would allow the company to dump its discarded orange peels and pulp, free of charge, in a heavily grazed, largely deforested area nearby.

One year later, one thousand trucks poured into the national park, offloading over 12,000 metric tons of sticky, mealy, orange compost onto the worn-out plot.

The site was left untouched and largely unexamined for over a decade. A sign was placed to ensure future researchers could locate and study it.

16 years later, Janzen dispatched graduate student Timothy Treuer to look for the site where the food waste was dumped.

Treuer initially set out to locate the large placard that marked the plot — and failed.

The first deposit of orange peels in 1996.

Photo by Dan Janzen.

"It's a huge sign, bright yellow lettering. We should have been able to see it," Treuer says. After wandering around for half an hour with no luck, he consulted Janzen, who gave him more detailed instructions on how to find the plot.

When he returned a week later and confirmed he was in the right place, Treuer was floored. Compared to the adjacent barren former pastureland, the site of the food waste deposit was "like night and day."

The site of the orange peel deposit (L) and adjacent pastureland (R).

Photo by Leland Werden.

"It was just hard to believe that the only difference between the two areas was a bunch of orange peels. They look like completely different ecosystems," he explains.

The area was so thick with vegetation he still could not find the sign.

Treuer and a team of researchers from Princeton University studied the site over the course of the following three years.

The results, published in the journal "Restoration Ecology," highlight just how completely the discarded fruit parts assisted the area's turnaround.

The ecologists measured various qualities of the site against an area of former pastureland immediately across the access road used to dump the orange peels two decades prior. Compared to the adjacent plot, which was dominated by a single species of tree, the site of the orange peel deposit featured two dozen species of vegetation, most thriving.

Lab technician Erik Schilling explores the newly overgrown orange peel plot.

Photo by Tim Treuer.

In addition to greater biodiversity, richer soil, and a better-developed canopy, researchers discovered a tayra (a dog-sized weasel) and a giant fig tree three feet in diameter, on the plot.

"You could have had 20 people climbing in that tree at once and it would have supported the weight no problem," says Jon Choi, co-author of the paper, who conducted much of the soil analysis. "That thing was massive."

Recent evidence suggests that secondary tropical forests — those that grow after the original inhabitants are torn down — are essential to helping slow climate change.

In a 2016 study published in Nature, researchers found that such forests absorb and store atmospheric carbon at roughly 11 times the rate of old-growth forests.

Treuer believes better management of discarded produce — like orange peels — could be key to helping these forests regrow.

In many parts of the world, rates of deforestation are increasing dramatically, sapping local soil of much-needed nutrients and, with them, the ability of ecosystems to restore themselves.

Meanwhile, much of the world is awash in nutrient-rich food waste. In the United States, up to half of all produce in the United States is discarded. Most currently ends up in landfills.

The site after a deposit of orange peels in 1998.

Photo by Dan Janzen.

"We don't want companies to go out there will-nilly just dumping their waste all over the place, but if it's scientifically driven and restorationists are involved in addition to companies, this is something I think has really high potential," Treuer says.

The next step, he believes, is to examine whether other ecosystems — dry forests, cloud forests, tropical savannas — react the same way to similar deposits.

Two years after his initial survey, Treuer returned to once again try to locate the sign marking the site.

Since his first scouting mission in 2013, Treuer had visited the plot more than 15 times. Choi had visited more than 50. Neither had spotted the original sign.

In 2015, when Treuer, with the help of the paper's senior author, David Wilcove, and Princeton Professor Rob Pringle, finally found it under a thicket of vines, the scope of the area's transformation became truly clear.

The sign after clearing away the vines.

Photo by Tim Treuer.

"It's a big honking sign," Choi emphasizes.

19 years of waiting with crossed fingers had buried it, thanks to two scientists, a flash of inspiration, and the rind of an unassuming fruit.

This article originally appeared on 08.23.17

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