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Gen Xers and Boomers share things that used to be 'normal' but are 'boundary crossing' today

Birthday spankings, school paddlings and more.

woman smoking
Photo by lil artsy/Pexels

People used to just light up wherever and whenever they pleased.

How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.

In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.

If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.

Scolding other people's kids (even strangers)

Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.

"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."


via GIPHY

"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."

"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."

"Kids were basically community property."

Showing up or dropping by unannounced

Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.

"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."

"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."

"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."


via GIPHY

"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."

"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."

"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."

Birthday spankings

Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."

"And a pinch to grow an inch."

"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."

via GIPHY

"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"

"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"

"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"

Actual spankings. With a paddle. At school.

School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so any names for this woefully outdated practice.

"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."

"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."

via GIPHY

"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."

"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."

"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."

Smoking indoors everywhere

It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.

"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."

"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."

via GIPHY

"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."

"Smoking in class at college."

"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.

Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."

"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."

Sexual harassment

Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.

"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."

via GIPHY

"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."

" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."

"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."

"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."

via GIPHY

"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."

"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"

"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."

"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."

People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.

You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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15 years ago, a Russian gymnast was interrupted by her 2-year-old daughter. It became a historic performance.

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.

As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

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Woman explains the beautiful feeling of 'sonder,' or realizing random strangers have full lives

It's the opposite of feeling like you're on The Truman Show.

sonder, feelings, life, humanity, human connection, psychology, beauty, mortality, universe
Photo credit: Canva

You might experience sonder when you look out a plane window or pass by an apartment building.

In the 1998 film The Truman Show, Jim Carrey's character gradually discovers that his entire life is a lie. The world around him is a television set, and everyone he knows—his friends, family, even his wife—are paid actors. He is the main character, and the entire universe of the show revolves around him.

Though most of us have never genuinely wondered whether we're living in an elaborate production like Truman (well, some have), it can sometimes feel that way. After all, in our own minds, we are the main characters of our own lives. Everyone else becomes a supporting character. When they're "off-screen," we can't say for certain what they're doing, and we tend to think about them only in terms of how their actions might affect us.

That's why the beautiful feeling known as "sonder" can be so profound. It's the strange sensation you get when staring out the window of an airplane, looking at the cars moving along the highway below, and realizing that each dot of light represents a vehicle with a human being inside it—maybe even an entire family. They're all on their way somewhere, perhaps to meet other people who are also living full, rich, complex lives you will never know about. Then, in the blink of an eye, they're gone forever, in a sense.

You might feel this when walking by an apartment building and gazing at the shadows moving behind lit windows, or at an airport, where you wonder where people are going and what their stories might be.

sonder, feelings, life, humanity, human connection, psychology, beauty, mortality, universe There are entire, rich, complex lives happening in those lit windows. Photo by Shalev Cohen on Unsplash

Sonder, explains content creator, software engineer, and writer Felecia Freely, is the sudden "realization that each random passerby is the main character of their own story, living a life just as vivid and complex as your own, while you are just an extra in the background."

Freely explains it beautifully in a now-viral Instagram reel:

"Imagine how big and all-encompassing your experience of your life is. And then imagine that every single person in traffic with you also has that. So does every person in the grocery store. And every person in the world."

It's a breathtaking realization. Of course, we all know this to be true in our minds, but sonder is when that understanding hits you in your body and becomes more than knowledge—it becomes a profound feeling.

Freely's video has received hundreds of thousands of views. Many commenters were surprised to learn there was an actual word for this hyper-specific feeling:

"OMFG THERES A WORD FOR THIS?! i've always wondered."

"I get it in traffic a lot. Just like, where are they all going"

"I get this feeling at the airport"

"Sonder happens when I go for drives down lonely roads in the middle of nowhere where I've never been & see a little house w/ cars & lites on. I wonder what they're like & what's goin on in their lives"

The term was coined around 2012 by writer John Koenig for his project, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

He writes that it comes from the French word sonder, which means "to plumb the depths." The term began as a neologism, an invented word meant to describe a universal feeling and fill a gap in the English language. But it has since caught on in wider usage and even appears in Merriam-Webster.

Some people describe sonder as a melancholy or even overwhelming feeling—of course, it does have a pretty sorrowful origin. Others, however, have learned to embrace it when it comes.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Mitchell M. Handelsman writes for Psychology Today that he does not view sonder as a negative emotion. Quite the contrary:

"Sonder becomes even more important as I teach students who are different from me. Most of my students are different on at least some of almost every conceivable dimension—age (this difference grows every year!), gender, ambitions, test performance, grades, place of birth, religion, height, writing ability, intellectual prowess, political beliefs, academic experiences, hair color, sexual preference, family background, etc. Appreciating students' lives as rich, complex, and important may set the stage for greater understanding, relating, and learning."

Appreciating and leaning into feelings of sonder can help us grow our empathy for one another.

One commenter summed it up beautifully: "This used to terrify me but it now soothes me deeply and helps round out my compassion and wonder at the world."

Another said: "Honestly everyone says that this is a depressing reality, but I kinda feel comfort in it. The fact that every person you see all has their own lives means that there is always something good happening in the world, no matter how miserable it seems sometimes."

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Music

Guy finds long-forgotten album in a thrift shop, reunites the band, and is sharing their music with the world

The damaged vinyl record was first released 58-years-ago

feel good story, music, rock music, lost and found, musicians
Photo credit: Marcus Pollard on Facebook

Marcus Pollard is reviving a 77-year-old warehouse worker's lost rock music.

In the 1960s, Norman Roth and his band, The Glass Cage, were Canadian indie rockers who played small local shows and built enough of a following to land gigs in bigger cities. When Roth was 18, the band recorded a live performance that was never officially released and was eventually lost after they broke up shortly afterward. Now, thanks to a four-dollar thrift store purchase, the band's music is reaching a wider audience—58 years later.

In 2016, veteran rock music promoter Marcus Pollard bought an unlabeled vinyl record at a thrift store on a whim, despite the album being physically damaged. He fell in love with the six songs recorded on it and spent the next two years trying to track down any band members connected to the record.

"I searched in vain for two years trying to get any clue as to who was on the record, but to no avail," Pollard wrote on Facebook. "Then, in a last ditch effort I posted a clip on the Canadian Artists Records Appreciation FB page and... I got a hit!"

Pollard eventually received a reply that read, "Hey, that's my record!" from Roth, now 77 and working as a warehouse manager. Roth was floored that his band's long-lost recording had resurfaced, and he was able to listen to songs he hadn't heard in more than 50 years.

- YouTube youtube.com

After reuniting Roth with his lost music, Pollard went a step further. After consulting with the other band members, he set out to bring The Glass Cage's music back to life after remaining dormant for generations. Pollard spent the next eight years using his industry connections and expertise to officially release the album. Working with a team of professionals, he refurbished the damaged record, digitally remastered the songs, designed elaborate packaging, and developed a booklet detailing the band's impact on the Vancouver indie rock scene of the 1960s before they broke up.

The finished vinyl album, titled Where Did the Sunshine Go?, is scheduled for release on February 24, 2026.

"I feel like everyone has done something in their life that was dismissed," Pollard told CTV News. "And I wanted them to feel like what they created was actually important."

While Roth and his former bandmates are excited about the album's release, they aren't trying to relive their youth or chase the rock star dreams they once had. They're just happy that others will now have access to their music and are enjoying the ride.

"I'm not looking for accolades or super stardom—that's long gone," Roth told CTV News. "It's just saying to the world, 'I was here.' And I hope they enjoy it."

If you'd like to hear Roth's music, you can stream tracks by The Glass Cage on Bandcamp and purchase the vinyl when it's released.

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Stanford researchers find a single question could be the key to changing someone's mind

Curiosity goes a lot further than we might think.

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Photo credit: Canva

How do you get someone to open their minds to another perspective?

The diversity of humanity means people won't always see eye to eye, and psychology tells us that people tend to double down when their views are challenged. When people are so deeply entrenched in their own perspectives they're refusing to entertain other viewpoints, what do we do?

Frequently, what we do falls into the "understandable but ineffective" category. When we disagree with someone because their opinion is based on falsehoods or inaccurate information, we may try to pound them with facts and statistics. Unfortunately, research shows that generally doesn't work. We might try to find different ways to explain our stance using logic and reasoning, but that rarely makes a dent, either. So often, we're left wondering how on Earth this person arrived at their perspective, especially if they reject facts and logic.

According to Stanford researchers, turning that wondering into an actual question might be the key.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Questions are more effective than facts when it comes to disagreements.Photo credit: Canva

The power of "Tell me more."

Two studies examined how expressing interest in someone's view and asking them to elaborate on why they hold their opinion affected both parties engaged in a debate. They found that asking questions like, "Could you tell me more about that?” and ‘‘Why do you think that?" made the other person "view their debate counterpart more positively, behave more open-mindedly, and form more favorable inferences about other proponents of the counterpart’s views." Additionally, adding an expression of interest, such as, ‘‘But I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?” not only made the counterpart more open to other viewpoints, but the questioner themselves developed more favorable attitudes toward the opposing viewpoint.

In other words, genuinely striving to understand another person's perspective by being curious and asking them to say more about how they came to their conclusions may help bridge seemingly insurmountable divides.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Asking people to elaborate leads to more open-mindedness.Photo credit: Canva

Stanford isn't alone in these findings. A series of studies at the University of Haifa also found that high-quality listening helped lower people's prejudices, and that when people perceive a listener to be responsive, they tend to be more open-minded. Additionally, the perception that their attitude is the correct and valid one is reduced.

Why curiosity works

In some sense, these results may seem counterintuitive. We may assume that asking someone to elaborate on what they believe and why they believe it might just further entrench them in their views and opinions. But that's not what the research shows.

Dartmouth cognitive scientist Thalia Wheatley studies the role of curiosity in relationships and has found that being curious can help create consensus where there wasn't any before.

“[Curiosity] really creates common ground across brains, just by virtue of having the intellectual humility to say, ‘OK, I thought it was like this, but what do you think?’ And being willing to change your mind,” she said, according to the John Templeton Foundation.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Curiosity can help people get closer to consensus. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, there may be certain opinions and perspectives that are too abhorrent or inhumane to entertain with curious questions, so it's not like "tell me more" is always the solution to an intractable divide. But even those with whom we vehemently disagree or those whose views we find offensive may respond to curiosity with more open-mindedness and willingness to change their view than if we simply argue with them. And isn't that the whole point?

Sometimes what's effective doesn't always line up with our emotional reactions to a disagreement, so engaging with curiosity might take some practice. It may also require us to rethink what formats for public discourse are the most impactful. Is ranting in a TikTok video or a tweet conducive to this shift in how we engage others? Is one-on-one or small group, in-person discussion a better forum for curious engagement? These are important things to consider if our goal is not to merely state our case and make our voice heard but to actually help open people's minds and remain open-minded in our own lives as well.

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Gen Z job seekers are bringing their parents to interviews. A career coach explains the new trend.

77 percent of Gen Z job applicants surveyed admit to bringing a parent to the interview.

Gen Z; Gen Z jobs; job seeking; job hunting; unemployment; Gen Z bringing parents; parents at interviews
Photo credit: Canva

A woman being interviewed for a job.

The stress of job hunting crosses generational lines, but Gen Z is doing things a bit differently. Most of Gen Z is either just entering adulthood or has been there for some time. They are the first generation not to grow up with many analog developmental milestones, such as answering a house phone or asking strangers for help reading a map. These are all things that help develop social skills that can be used in other settings.

A recent survey from Resumetemplates.com reveals a shocking trend. According to the resume-building website, of the 1,000 job seekers aged 18-23 surveyed, "77% say they have brought a parent to a job interview when they were job searching. About 13% say they always did, and 24% say they often did."

The idea of bringing a parent to an interview may seem laughably outrageous to older generations, but there are a few things to consider before the giggling sets in. Young adults have long relied on their parents for guidance as they enter the adult world, and this is true of every generation. Parents are often called on for help with locating first apartments, learning how to turn on utilities, figuring out health insurance plans, and more.

Gen Z; Gen Z jobs; job seeking; job hunting; unemployment; Gen Z bringing parents; parents at interviews A business meeting in a modern office setting.Photo credit: Canva

Expecting parents or a trusted adult to help with new life milestones isn't unheard of, but having a parent attend a job interview seems to baffle experts.

Julia Toothacre, chief career strategist at Resumetemplates.com, tells CBS Miami, "I can't imagine that most employers are happy about it. I think that it really shows a lack of maturity in the kids, in the Gen Zers that are doing this." Toothacre added that while some smaller organizations may not see an issue with it, she does not believe it is the norm.

In response to the survey, Bryan Golod, an award-winning job search coach, sees the results differently. Rather than piling on or dunking on a generation still trying to figure out adulthood, he offers a logical explanation for the phenomenon.

In a LinkedIn post, Golod shares:

"The internet is roasting this generation for lacking independence. But here's what everyone's missing: This isn't a Gen Z problem. It's a symptom of a broken system that never taught anyone how interviews actually work. Most professionals (regardless of age) have no idea how to interview effectively. I've worked with 50-year-olds who couldn't land a single offer after 30 interviews. I've coached VPs of HR who could help others but couldn't help themselves. Interview skills aren't taught in school, at work, or by parents. They're learned through trial, error, and usually a lot of rejection. The real issue isn't Gen Z bringing parents to interviews."

The job search coach explains that employers often no longer train managers on how to conduct interviews or what to look for when interviewing candidates. He also notes that many job seekers expect their experience and competence to speak for themselves, but that does not always translate well in an interview setting. Golod encourages people to ask themselves if they know how to predictably turn interviews into job offers before mocking Gen Z adults.

Gen Z; Gen Z jobs; job seeking; job hunting; unemployment; Gen Z bringing parents; parents at interviews A successful meeting with a warm handshake.Photo credit: Canva

"Most don't. And that's not their fault… Nobody taught them. Interview skills are learnable. The professionals landing multiple offers with significant salary increases? They learned the rules of the game," Golod explains.

He adds that what truly matters in interviews is "not your credentials. Not your resume. Not even your qualifications. It's your ability to connect on a personal level and create a memorable experience. People bring you in based on data. They hire you based on emotion."

Maybe some Gen Zers are doing it wrong by traditional standards, but just like riding a bike, unless someone takes the time to teach you, you will never truly learn. Otherwise, you are left with scraped knees and bruises while you try to teach yourself.

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