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Psychiatrist perfectly explains why each generation approaches happiness so differently

Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Judith Joseph is the expert on joy and happiness

Fill in the blank: Happiness is...?

Owning a home with a white picket fence and two-car garage? Achieving the ideal work-life balance? Or having legions of faithful followers on TikTok who hang onto your every word?

When we think about happiness, we often assume everyone wants the same things. However, depending on your answer to the question, "What is happiness?" many psychologists could pinpoint approximately when you were born. The generation you are a part of determines so much: whether you've ever had a perm, how comfortable you are using the Internet, and even how you define joy itself.

It's all about context.

Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and the author of High Functioning: Overcome Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, went viral on Instagram when she explained how collective experiences shape each generation's approach to happiness.

"People from different generations have different ways of addressing happiness based on their different collective traumas, experiences, and educational opportunities," she wrote in the caption.

About Dr. Judith Joseph

Dr. Judith Joseph is more than just a phenomenal content creator—her professional resume is mind-bogglingly impressive. As the Principal Investigator of Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, she and her team have done groundbreaking work studying high-functioning conditions, such as high-functioning depression, ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, and OCD.

In short, she's an expert on joy and happiness—what causes it, how it shows up in the body, and where our ideas surrounding it stem from.

Generational definitions of happiness: How history shapes values

Research shows that each generation develops a unique definition of happiness based on the formative experiences that shaped their worldview during adolescence and early adulthood. How Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and Generation Z experience and define contentment is strikingly different. Each generation has been molded by unique historical events, economic conditions, and social changes that have forged its core values.

families, generations, kids, changes, baby boomers A family that looks straight out of the 1950s. Photo credit: Canva

Throughout the generations, there have been drastic changes in every aspect of life. Family structures and rituals look a lot different now, with 76% of Baby Boomers reporting that they ate dinner as a family every day. In comparison, only 38% of Gen Z do. When the Internet exploded onto the scene, teenagers and adolescents had access to global perspectives in an unprecedented way. Work has witnessed several eras as well, with Boomers viewing their jobs as a source of identity and financial security. At the same time, Millennials need their 9-5 to be meaningful and aligned with their values.

Dr. Joseph's video demonstrates this phenomenon exactly: from war and economic uncertainty to technological revolutions and social upheaval, these are the shared experiences that created distinct approaches to finding meaning in life.

Baby Boomers: The resilient generation

Born between 1946 and 1964, Baby Boomers developed their ideas of happiness through a lens of survival.

"Boomers' mentality may have stemmed from their parents who went through wars and economic uncertainty," writes Dr. Joseph. "Their survival mode mentality led them to cope by suppressing emotions and to display strength and grit."

This generation is tough. Baby Boomers grew up hearing stories about the Great Depression and World War II from their parents, which created a deep yearning for basic security. "Many older boomers did not have access to education about psychology, so they did not acknowledge emotions," Dr. Joseph notes. Instead, they focused on external validation, tangible achievements, and traditional markers of success. They frequently equate happiness and fulfillment with the "American Dream": Owning a home, raising a family, and having a stable career.

woman, generations, baby boomers, happiness, psychology Baby Boomers learned to survive. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

Dr. Joseph emphasizes this in her video when she emulates Baby Boomers, saying: "Of course I'm happy! I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day, and I'm gainfully employed. What's there to be sad about?"

Generation X: The pragmatic generation

" Gen X was raised in the age of materialistic accumulation, and they were in the age of improving their individual states rather than focusing on those around them," Dr. Joseph observes.

"They were praised for being 'doers' and when situations were hard, they took a 'can-do' approach and focused on self-improvement strategies," she continues. "They were raised in a society that valued wealth and objects as symbols of status, and they often delayed happiness for the future."

Generation X, born between 1965 and 1980, came of age and witnessed economic uncertainty, recessions, and the end of the Cold War during their formative years. These experiences formed a pragmatic relationship with happiness, viewing it as something that can only be earned through hard work and delayed gratification.

woman, generations, gen x, happiness, psychology Generation X works themselves to the bone, in the hope of reaping rewards. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

In her Gen X get-up, a business suit worn straight home from the office, Dr. Joseph describes this generation's approach to happiness as thus:

"I work myself to the bone, but one day I'll have enough money in my bank to travel the world. I'll delay happiness until retirement."

Millennials: The meaning-seeking generation

Millennials represent a fundamental shift in the ways happiness is defined and pursued. Born between 1981 and 1996, unlike previous generations, Millennials prioritize meaningful work and experiences over material possessions.

"Millennials grew up in the age of internet convenience. They were the first generation to be born into an age of online access to platforms," Dr. Joseph explains. This unprecedented access to information and global connectivity shaped their worldview in profound ways. "They were also the first to have access to online knowledge and resources, so they search for a better life and meaning," she notes. "They are often overwhelmed with the idea of 'having it all' and they have high levels of financial stress, which makes happiness seem out of reach."

woman, generations, millennial, happiness, psychology Millennials changed the way we think about happiness. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

The Millennial approach to happiness often sounds like this: "I was just telling my therapist on our Zoom session that I can't afford to be happy. I have too much student loan debt."

Talk about accuracy.

Generation Z: The authentic generation

The youngest generation mentioned, Gen Z (born between 1997 and 2012), has the most complex, multi-faceted relationship to happiness. "Gen Z grew up in the age of social media where they connect in a digital age as digital natives," Dr. Joseph explains. "Their interactions online are just as valuable as interactions in person."

Happiness is deeply tied to authenticity and social justice for Zoomers. "They are deliberate about their choices to value their chosen community and set rigid boundaries and advocate openly for their preferences," Dr. Joseph notes. Gen Z has witnessed climate change, school shootings, political upheaval, and a global pandemic during their formative years, creating a unique perspective on what matters most.

woman, generations, gen z, happiness, psychology Gen Z is all about living in the moment. Photo credit: Instagram (@drjudithjoseph)

"They are fed up with the system that selects a small group for financial superiority and aren't afraid to leave a system that seems skewed for the wealthy," Dr. Joseph observes. This translates into a happiness philosophy that sounds like this: "Um, the world is melting, there's bad news everywhere. I'm just going to travel the world and be happy today because tomorrow isn't promised."

Your generation's experiences shaped you. That's okay.

Dr. Joseph's viral insights inspire us to recognize that happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept; it's profoundly personal and shaped by generations. By embracing these differences, we can create empathetic workplaces, strengthen our families, and foster connected communities where everyone is empowered to thrive in their unique ways.


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Parenting

Mom is blown away when she asks daughter to finish toxic phrases from her childhood

"This healed something in me."

Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

Mom and daughter heal generational trauma.

One of the most redeeming things about being a parent is the opportunity to right parenting wrongs from childhood. Healing generational trauma and breaking chains for a new generation is a powerful parenting gift.

And TikToker Brandi Davis (@brandi_davis24) is trying to do just that. Following a trend that began on Instagram, Davis asked her young daughter to finish some "toxic phrases" she grew up hearing throughout her childhood. Her daughter's responses show that her upbringing has truly been different.

"Asking my daughter to finish these phrases I heard growing up healed me a little bit," she captioned the video. "Her answers 🥺 breaking one generational curse at a time!!"

@brandi_davis24

Her answers 🥺 breaking one generational curse at a time!! #breakinggenerationalcurses #wholesome #disciplinephrases #fyp #trending #mommy #mommydaughter #lovehersomuch

In the video, Davis is sitting in her car with her daughter. She tells her, "I'm gonna start a sentence, and you're just gonna finish it with whatever you think it's supposed to say, okay?" Her daughter agrees, and she begins to say toxic phrases to her that she heard throughout her childhood.

"I brought you into this world so," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "I'm beautiful." Davis responds, "You're beautiful!" (The phrase is: I brought you into this world so/and I can take you out of it.)

"When we go in this store don't," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Don't run away." (The phrase is: When we go in this store don't/ask for anything.)

"Children are for," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Attention!"(The phrase is: Children are for/being seen not heard.)

She continues with more questions. "I'm going to give you something," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Cuz I'm good!" (The phrase is: I'm going to give you something/ to cry about.)

"I love you but," Davis says, and her daughter take a while to reply. "Any answer is okay. It's not a trick," Davis encourages her as she thinks. Ultimately, she can't come up with one. (The phrase is: I love you but/I don't like you.) Davis adds in a caption, "I love that she couldn't think of a 'but' because she knows there is never a 'but' after with me."

The emotional video resonated with viewers in the comment section:

"This healed something in me. You’re doing a great job 🤍,"

"This baby has been nothing but loved and protected her whole life 💐🥹 cheers to you mama 💐."

"Gosh makes me realize how toxic our parents generation was and how much we are breaking those chains for our kids."

I’m a 43 year old man, the kid inside me does not know how to respond to this but feel happy for your daughter and it pointed out some darkness I was not aware of in my childhood."

"The fact I didn’t have to read and knew what the rest of it was… and her little pure heart had no clue 😭😭 definitely made me tear up. Good job mama."

This trend began on Instagram with mental health activist and parent Anna Muller (@annakristinam). She shared a video asking her young son the same questions, captioning it, "Seeing how my son finishes toxic parenting phrases." The video garnered over eight million views, and since then has become a trend on TikTok.

In a follow-up video to her original on Instagram, Muller shared more on the trend in her caption. "Thank you everyone for all the love on my previous video 😭 this trend is so wholesome and it’s so beautiful to see the parents breaking generational cycles and the kind humans we are raising together 🤍," she wrote.

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Dad who grew up poor perfectly explains why it’s so hard to shake the poverty mindset

Even when you're doing well, the mindset never seems to go away.

via Blake Kasemeier, used with permission.

Blake Kasemeier and his children.

A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.

Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up, and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series Good Grief and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.

The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.

Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way."

The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.

“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”

"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like home."

The post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram.

"I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," one commenter wrote.

"Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," another added.

Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”

Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.

“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”

The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, "found a way.”

“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier said. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing poverty, check out these resources to get connected with organizations and support.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Gay dad has the perfect response to a 7-year-old child who called gay people 'the devil'

“I'm sorry but if you teach your kids to hate I'm going to teach them to disobey you."

via Mick Haupt/Unsplash

A child looks really upset on a playground.

Robbie Pierce, his husband, Neal Broverman and their two young children were traveling on an Amtrak train in California in 2022 when they were harassed by a fellow passenger at a stop in San Jose. Broverman is the editorial director for print media at Pride, The Advocate's parent company,

"All of a sudden, there was a man standing there next to me," Pierce told The Advocate. The man told their son, "Remember what I told you earlier. They stole you and they're pedophiles," Pierce recounts. The man also said that gay people are abominations.

The police were called and the man was thrown off the train, but the incident was a frightening reminder that gay families could be the target of bigots, even in liberal Northern California. "It's a new level of homophobia out there," Pierce added.

Seven months later, Pierce’s son was the victim of harassment, this time from a child at a park. "A random unattended 7-year-old at the park told me and my son that gay people are the devil,” he recounted in a viral X thread. "My son scoffed, but the boy said it was true because God said so."

Pierce reacted to the boy’s hatred — which he probably learned at home — with his own lesson. “I told him parents made up God to make their Kids do what they want. His eyes got so big,” he wrote on X.

Addressing complex issues like religion and sexuality with a young child, who’s a stranger, is a tricky needle to thread, so Pierce admits he had some reservations about his response. But he stands by his decision.

“I'm sorry but if you teach your kids to hate I'm going to teach them to disobey you," he wrote on X.

As someone who has been harassed by religious, homophobic people in the past, Pierce took the opportunity to help steer a young child away from hatred. At the age of 7, most children believe whatever their parents tell them. However, Pierce planted a seed in the child’s mind that may one day encourage him to challenge his indoctrination when he gets older.

The vast majority of commenters on X agreed with Pierce’s response to the child’s comment.

However, some people thought Pierce’s response to the child was inappropriate.

No matter how one feels about Pierce’s reaction, what’s clear is that there is something very inappropriate about a 7-year-old child openly harassing LGBTQ families. The unfortunate problem is that this type of hyper-religious upbringing can cause lasting emotional and psychological trauma to a child. And it’s a common problem. A recent study in the growing field of religious trauma found that 1 in 3 Americans suffer from trauma related to religion at some point in their life.

While we might be quick to dismiss the child’s behavior as innocent or simply as a symptom of growing up in a religious household, the more we learn about religious trauma, the more these children appear to be the victims of abuse.


This article originally appeared last year.

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