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A millennial was annoyed that boomer parents hoard food. But there's a deeper reason for it.

"My grandfather felt that if he saw the fridge fully stocked, everything else in life would fall into place."

Image via Canva/alicat, Wavebreakmedia

Millennial calls out boomers for hoarding food.

Millennials and their boomer parents don't see eye to eye on many things. As one millennial pointed out, that includes their food shopping habits.

A frustrated millennial posed a question on Reddit to fellow millennials: "Why does our parents generation feel the need to keep so much food in the house?" They went on to rant about whenever their boomer parents stay with them, their fridge is overstuffed with food.

"They buy so much food that we literally run out of room and our countertops end up lined with a bunch of junk," they wrote. "I’m talking like multiple types of bread, endless amounts of snacks, enough meat to fuel the an army, 12 different kinds of drinks…I mean even staple things like butter, salt, condiments. It’s pure insanity."

groceries, grocery haul, full grocery cart, food shopping, buying food Grocery Store Halloween GIF by Laff Giphy

After expecting to be met with similar gripes, many millennials instead expressed a more tender understanding for their parents' full pantries. "THEIR parents lived through the great depression and/or WWII rationing," one commented. Another added, "Yep they all have the reverse of scarcity trauma, call it abundance disorder lol."

Many millennials could see the connection between their boomer parents being raised by Silent Generation (born between 1928-1945) parents. "My grandfather felt that if he saw the fridge fully stocked, everything else in life would fall into place," one millennial commented.

Hunger was rampant during the Great Depression. According to the Library of Congress, one in four people were unemployed by 1932, and hunger and malnutrition were widespread. And during World War II, rationing became law and part of the effort on the home front to support the United States. According to the National Park Service, President Franklin D. Roosevelt created the Office of Price Administration (OPA) under Executive Order 8875 on August 28, 1941. It was the beginning of rationing, and Americans began receiving ration cards in May 1942.

rations, rationing, world war II, wwII, world war 2 rations Rations during World War II.Image via Wikipedia/U.S. National Archives and Records Administration

Another millennial pointedly shared, "That’s because you’ve never known what farming/harvesting takes or what going hungry feels like. We are a blessed generation for even having this conversation. Probably the first in tens or thousands of years of our existence."

Other millennials tied together the cultural reasons why their boomer parents shop and store food like this. "And, when they were growing up there were still things like Blue Laws on Sundays, stores didn’t open on many holidays, and more limited grocery store hours," another shared. "Even in the early 90s, 9 p.m. was a fairly common closing time for full-service grocery stores."

fridge, full fridge, food security, food scarcity, food Hungry Food GIF by Kawan Foods Giphy

Some millennials owned up to hoarding and overstocking their pantries, too.

"I'm a millennial and this is why I have a deep freezer and enough pantry items to make multiple meals," one wrote. "I'm sure part of it is learned behavior from my mom who, in turn, learned it from her parents whose formative years were The Great Depression." Another added, "Add in a bit of borderline poverty and food insecurity growing up yourself on top of their trauma, and you’re left taking pride in a pantry full of non perishables."

The discussion among millennials also focused on better understanding the generations that came before them.

"Some people’s response was to be hyper aware of waste and make things stretch as far as possible," one wrote. "Some people’s response was to panic if there’s spaces in the food storage because it might mean it’s running out. Trauma impacts different people differently." Another concluded, "Man, generational trauma is real."

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Health

Researchers have pinpointed the reason why creative people often come from broken homes

There's a long list of creative geniuses who had hard childhoods.

via Canva/Photos

A woman painting.

Why do some people feel they are devoid of creativity, while others are bursting at the seams? A new study published by The Conversation has found that creativity is closely related to how people were raised and that there are two wildly different upbringings that produce creative adults.

The first type of creative person is raised in stable circumstances and has support from their parents to pursue their craft. They are given lessons and have ample resources to learn more about what they love. The other type of creative person is someone who endured trauma at a very young age and developed a deep inner world to help them combat persistent anxiety.

Does trauma result in creativity?

It makes sense that many of the creative giants of our time, Vincent van Gogh, Charles Dickens, John Lennon, Oprah Winfrey, Beethoven, Michael Jackson, and Frida Kahlo, all endured difficult childhoods, and it may be the catalyst for their incredible creativity. In Donald Winnicott’s 1971 book Play and Reality, the famed psychoanalyst notes that when children are young and have separation anxiety from their parents, they cling to “transitional objects” and specific behaviors. When the absence is prolonged and difficult, the behaviors transform into creativity.

“Some academics have proposed a model to explain this phenomenon,” Carlo Valerio Bellieni, Professor of Pediatrics, Università di Siena, writes at The Conversation. “Up to a certain level of separation or neglect from parents, the capacity to develop talents grows, but beyond a certain limit this decreases and alterations in social behaviour become more acute.”

Bellieni says that when young people experience trauma, it causes them to create a “parallel mental world” to shield themselves from the outside world. “The conclusion is that, paradoxically, children raised in an unfavourable environment can develop their own inner creative world to survive the stress, but in several cases, at the cost of producing mental health disorders,” Bellieni writes.

imagination, childhood trauma, creativity, airplanes, kid playing, flight, luggageA child pretending to be a pilot.via Canva/Photos

How does childhood adversity result in creativity?

To put it simply, when young children experience trauma, they develop a more robust imagination than those who do not, which gives them a fertile ground for the creative process.

Bellieni’s findings are echoed in a 2018 study by California State University, Northridge that analyzed 234 professional performers. The study found that the performers experienced a higher rate of childhood trauma and neglect than those who were not in the performing arts. The performers who experienced adverse childhood experiences were found to be more absorbed by the creative process and more receptive to art.

danging, performers, mental health, trauma, creativity, woman dancing, performing artsA woman dancing.via Canva/Photos

"Lastly, [this] group identified greater appreciation for the transformational quality of creativity, in particular, how the creative process enabled a deeper engagement with the self and world. They recognised that it operated as a powerful force in their life," the researchers wrote, "So many participants in our sample have experienced poly-traumatization and yet they also embrace their passion for performance and creativity. They are embracing ways to express all that is human."

Ultimately, creativity can stem from two very different places: support or neglect. But whether it is shaped by love or loss, creativity helps propel our world forward and is a wonderful gift that helps us all better connect to the world around us. Let’s hope that as these wounded creatives share their gifts, they also find healing along the way.

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Parenting

Mom is blown away when she asks daughter to finish toxic phrases from her childhood

"This healed something in me."

Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

Mom and daughter heal generational trauma.

One of the most redeeming things about being a parent is the opportunity to right parenting wrongs from childhood. Healing generational trauma and breaking chains for a new generation is a powerful parenting gift.

And TikToker Brandi Davis (@brandi_davis24) is trying to do just that. Following a trend that began on Instagram, Davis asked her young daughter to finish some "toxic phrases" she grew up hearing throughout her childhood. Her daughter's responses show that her upbringing has truly been different.

"Asking my daughter to finish these phrases I heard growing up healed me a little bit," she captioned the video. "Her answers 🥺 breaking one generational curse at a time!!"

@brandi_davis24

Her answers 🥺 breaking one generational curse at a time!! #breakinggenerationalcurses #wholesome #disciplinephrases #fyp #trending #mommy #mommydaughter #lovehersomuch

In the video, Davis is sitting in her car with her daughter. She tells her, "I'm gonna start a sentence, and you're just gonna finish it with whatever you think it's supposed to say, okay?" Her daughter agrees, and she begins to say toxic phrases to her that she heard throughout her childhood.

"I brought you into this world so," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "I'm beautiful." Davis responds, "You're beautiful!" (The phrase is: I brought you into this world so/and I can take you out of it.)

"When we go in this store don't," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Don't run away." (The phrase is: When we go in this store don't/ask for anything.)

"Children are for," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Attention!"(The phrase is: Children are for/being seen not heard.)

She continues with more questions. "I'm going to give you something," Davis says, and her daughter replies, "Cuz I'm good!" (The phrase is: I'm going to give you something/ to cry about.)

"I love you but," Davis says, and her daughter take a while to reply. "Any answer is okay. It's not a trick," Davis encourages her as she thinks. Ultimately, she can't come up with one. (The phrase is: I love you but/I don't like you.) Davis adds in a caption, "I love that she couldn't think of a 'but' because she knows there is never a 'but' after with me."

The emotional video resonated with viewers in the comment section:

"This healed something in me. You’re doing a great job 🤍,"

"This baby has been nothing but loved and protected her whole life 💐🥹 cheers to you mama 💐."

"Gosh makes me realize how toxic our parents generation was and how much we are breaking those chains for our kids."

I’m a 43 year old man, the kid inside me does not know how to respond to this but feel happy for your daughter and it pointed out some darkness I was not aware of in my childhood."

"The fact I didn’t have to read and knew what the rest of it was… and her little pure heart had no clue 😭😭 definitely made me tear up. Good job mama."

This trend began on Instagram with mental health activist and parent Anna Muller (@annakristinam). She shared a video asking her young son the same questions, captioning it, "Seeing how my son finishes toxic parenting phrases." The video garnered over eight million views, and since then has become a trend on TikTok.

In a follow-up video to her original on Instagram, Muller shared more on the trend in her caption. "Thank you everyone for all the love on my previous video 😭 this trend is so wholesome and it’s so beautiful to see the parents breaking generational cycles and the kind humans we are raising together 🤍," she wrote.

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Dad who grew up poor perfectly explains why it’s so hard to shake the poverty mindset

Even when you're doing well, the mindset never seems to go away.

via Blake Kasemeier, used with permission.

Blake Kasemeier and his children.

A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.

Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up, and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series Good Grief and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.

The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.

Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way."

The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.

“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”

"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like home."

The post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram.

"I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," one commenter wrote.

"Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," another added.

Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”

Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.

“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”

The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, "found a way.”

“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier said. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing poverty, check out these resources to get connected with organizations and support.


This article originally appeared last year.

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