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@andrecrews/Instagram

Dad Andre Crews goes on a rant comparing his toddler to a terrorist.

In parenting, there tends to be two camps of people: those who feel there is no experience more sacred or beautiful or fulfilling than bringing a child into this world, and those who are like, “this is hard, and my kid is a jerk, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.”

Of course, which camp you belong to changes at any given moment, depending on whether you’re dealing with the sweet little cherub etched from your very soul, or their terrible, chaotic alter ego. You know the one.

 terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babies What I'd give to be able to throw a tantrum like that. media4.giphy.com  

It seems pretty clear which version fitness influencer and toddler dad Andre Crews was dealing with when he made a very raw, yet darkly funny TikTok comparing his three-year-old son to a “terrorist.”

A warning to those who might be sensitive to profanity: there are a lot of f-bombs thrown around in the video. Which can obviously be a little jarring when talking about a toddler, but it’s also clear that Crews, wearing a weighted vest that even gives off tactical gear vibes, is coming at this like a grizzled soldier on the battlefront—which is honestly something so many parents can relate to.

Swears aside, Crews goes on about how his kid holds his family “hostage” every night, how getting him to eat any food besides multigrain Tostitos chips scoops (“at least they’re multigrain”) and strawberry-banana Gogurt packets (“not strawberry, not banana, and if it’s not strawberry-banana…you better BUCKLE UP”), and how brushing teeth offers a whole “20 minutes podcast of war stories.”

Still, the tirade ends on a sweet note, with Crews saying, “but the next morning, he wakes up, he’s beautiful, and all the [terrorism] melts away.” If that ain’t parenting in a nutshell, we don’t know what is.

“To all the parents out there: know that it’s never easy, but you’re doing god’s work,” Crews concludes.

With over 220,000 likes on Instagram, Crews' video clearly struck a chord. So many parents chimed in to share how they too felt the carnage of the Terrible Twos.

“The more I talk to other parents we are just all raising the same kids in different skins 😂”

“The best description of parenting a toddler 🤣”

“Lmfaooooooo ….. okay so it’s not just me.”

“Hold the line buddy🤣same everywhere no back up, no support.”

“I have twins, I'm surrounded 😂😂😂”

“I HAVE SAID THIS FOR YEARS!!!! FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS 😂😂😂😂😂”

Toddlerdom is a constant experimentation phase for little ones to test the boundaries of their own free will, all while still being challenged by a still developing brain and sense of emotional regularity. So a bit of chaos, tantrums, mood swings, aggression, a bombardment of “nos!” or, as Crews put it, “terrorist” behavior. But this phase is par for the course in parenting. Kids aren’t being bad for the sake of it, they’re just navigating a pretty uncomfortable phase for the first time ever. And maybe strawberry banana Gogurt—not not strawberry, not banana, strawberry-banana—is the one and only thing to soothe that discomfort in the moment.

 terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babies To any parent dealing with a toddler tantrum—Godspeed. Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line, if you’re a parent currently feeling terrorized by your little one, you are not alone, and you’re doing great. and there's nothing wrong with "having four cups of coffee" to get through it.

Joy

Golden Retriever has the absolute sweetest reaction to toddler taking her first steps

Taco was SO excited that he and his best bud were going to get to play together.

Golden Retriever energy plus toddler energy equals the greatest combo ever.

Here at Upworthy, we often look for stories that will make you smile and warm your heart, and few things do that more quickly than a good doggo and an adorable kiddo. So when we ran across a ridiculously sweet story on The Dodo about a Golden Retriever and his little human sister, we simply had to share it. Taco (full name Taco Bell—seriously) is a good boy who had been lovingly waiting for his new baby sister, Vanora, to be able to play with him. And when the day finally came? Oh. My. Goodness.

Claudia Hughes is the proud mom of the furry pup and his squishy human sibling. She told The Dodo that Taco had been smitten with Vanora ever since she came home from the hospital. “When we would lay her down on the floor or our bed, Taco would just lay down next to her,” Hughes said. That’s one attentive pup. Pet parents know there’s nothing more comforting than your fur baby looking out for your human baby, and Taco has been the ideal gentle watchdog.

Hughes told The Dodo that the pooch would even get up for late-night feedings. Now that’s just beyond sweet. It’s no wonder the pup was itching for his playmate to get big enough to actually play with, and his reaction to his doggy dreams coming true is pure joy. The video of 3-year-old Taco seeing his toddler sibling taking some of her first steps has amassed more than 2 million likes on TikTok. Finally his sister can run around with him! Finally he can teach her the fun of having a dog for a big brother! Finally he gets to play! At least, that’s what I think he was thinking from his excited reaction.

And how do we know dogs are excited? Well, they get the zoomies, and if you’ve never been able to witness the absolute unadulterated joy of the zoomies, just check out his reaction in the video. It's like he's silently screaming, “I’m so excited!!!”

@mostlyadorable

It’s fun having each other 🐾👶🏻. #dogsandbabies #goldensandbabies #babiesoftiktok #dogsoftiktokviral #SmoothLikeNitroPepsi

According to Hughes, Taco first started getting excited when he saw Vanora take steps in her walker, and more so when he saw her pushing the walker. But his excitement went off the charts when she could actually take steps unassisted. Don’t worry though, he was sure to keep his distance so as not to knock her down. He’s such a good doggy brother. Hughes told The Dodo, “We have shown Vanora that we hug Taco, we pet him gently and we give him kisses on his head.” She went on to say, “But if we get mad at him, we don’t hit him.”

golden retriever, dog, pets, good doggoSuch a good doggo.Photo credit: Canva

It looks like both Taco and Vanora have learned important lessons in kindness. Since the video of Taco's "Yay, she's walking!" zoomies went viral, the two have continued to be best pals. Now 4 years old, Vanora has perfected the art of throwing the ball for Taco to fetch, having practiced since she was barely able to walk.

A family dog can be a source of joyful companionship for all, but sometimes a special bond is formed between a child and a pup. It's clear that Taco and Vanora have that bond, which hopefully both with enjoy for many more years. Golden Retrievers come by their friendly, fun-loving, gentle reputation honestly, and it's just delightful to see that energy in action.

You can follow @_mostlyadorable_ and @tacothepolarpup on Instagram for more sweet photos and videos of Taco the good doggo and his family.

This article originally appeared three years ago and has been updated.

Parenting

Researcher says parents who have strong relationships with their adult children do 7 things

The relationship you form when they're little has ripple effects much later on.

Canva Photos

Parenting coach urges parents who want a good relationship with their adult children to do these 7 things

My wife and I really love our kids. OK, that sounds obvious. But I guess what I really mean is that we like them. We always joke that we'd be totally OK if our kids lived with us forever, mooching off of our money and food and and hanging out with us forever and forever. Doesn't sound too bad to me!

We're mostly joking, of course. Obviously I want them to flourish in their own lives, find spouses and/or have children if that's what they want, seek success in their careers and have rich friendships and adventures all over the world. So I will probably have to settle for just having a good relationship with them, one that straddles the line between parent and friend just right.

will ferrell, meatloaf, wedding crashers, parenting, moms, motherhood, kids, adult chidlrenI guess there's a downside to your kids living at home forever.Giphy

When your kids are grown, you're not really their buddy or bestie, but you also have to take a step back from your full-time role as protector and teacher. You have to land in the sweet spot in between, and a lot of parents get this wrong, falling too far to one side or the other. Conflict can come from anywhere, from the adult children feeling overly criticized or controlled, to poor boundaries, to disagreements about modern vs old-school parenting/marriage/values.

Navigating these conflicts well is crucial, but the real work is done much, much earlier.

Reem Raouda, a Certified Conscious Parenting Coach and researcher, recently wrote about her observations after working with over 200 different families. She says the foundation for a good parent-adult child relationship begins in the early years.

Parents who are successful in this area do seven things early on when their kids are young. They're actually much harder than they sound.

parenting, motherhood, fatherhood, moms, dads, babies, family, loveA good relationship with your adult children starts here. Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Let them know their feelings matter

You know the classic "husband mistake" where he wants to fix all his wife's problems instead of just letting her vent? Yeah, parents do that, too. As protectors and teachers, we rush to fix or offer solutions but often fail to acknowledge our kids' feelings. Raouda says making your children feel understood is a key building block to your relationship several years down the road.

Choose connection over control

Fear can be useful if your goal is to make sure your children do all their chores and never misbehave in front of you. But it's not going to serve your relationship into their adult years. A gentler approach based on listening and empathy, and one that deprioritizes obedience, is the better longterm strategy.

"When kids feel emotionally secure, they continue seeking your support well into adulthood," she writes.

Give them a voice in their own life

We try to do this as often as we can, so I know exactly how hard it is. Take summer camps — what I want to do is sign my kids up for the things I think will be good for them and the camps that will work well for my schedule. But they may have totally different ideas. Making space for what they want is time-consuming and annoying (they don't want to go to camp at all, or they want to go to a camp that doesn't exist), but is hugely important in giving them agency.


kids, sports, dads, fatherhood, fathers, children, teens, familyDon't force your son to play football just because you love it.Giphy

Own your mistakes

This is a huge one, but very difficult to do! A lot of parents are too proud to apologize to their own children or they think it undermines them. It's difficult because when you treat another adult badly or say or do something you regret, you know you're going to have to apologize — but children can't hold you accountable in the same way. You have all the power and no one is going to make you say that you're sorry. But it's such an important lesson for them and it helps them see that your relationship isn't just about power.

"Children raised in homes where accountability is the norm don't fear making mistakes. Instead of hiding their struggles, they trust they can come to you without shame," Raouda says.

Make quality time together a daily habit

In one of my favorite articles, The Myth of Quality Time, Frank Bruni argues that it is impossible to create quality time. You can't schedule a big heart-to-heart or map out exactly when and where you and your child will open up to each other and share a moment. These things happen naturally and organically to people who spend a large quantity of time together. Get used to actually spending time together and it will pay off down the road with stronger connection.

Let them be themselves without judgment

We've all heard of the dad who forces his kids to play sports because that's what he wants them to do, or the mom who makes her daughter follow in her gymnastics footsteps. As you can imagine, your children will be much more comfortable around you as adults if you encourage their uniqueness and support them as they follow their own paths.

"When kids grow up feeling accepted," Raouda writes, "they won't have to choose between being themselves and staying close to you.

Protect the relationship over being right


kids, parenting, parents, moms, hug, love, family, relationshipsIt's OK to admit when you're wrong. In fact, it's critical. Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

It's hard for adults to admit, but sometimes kids are right! You can probably bulldoze over them when they're young, but you're much better off allowing them to have a somewhat equal voice in your relationship. As Raouda says, "When kids know they can express themselves and still be loved and respected, they grow into adults who trust the relationship rather than fear it."

Other experts have written about this conundrum at length. One of the most counterintuitive pieces of advice is to not center your whole world around your children.

For all the effort that we want and need to pour into our relationships with out kids, it's ironically incredibly important that we have other things going on. After all, if we don't show them what a full life is supposed to look like, how are they supposed to create one?

Psychologist Henry Cloud writes: "A child needs to internalize a model of someone who has a life of her own. The parent whose life is centered around her children is influencing them to think that life is about either becoming a parent or being forever served by a parent. Let your child know you have interests and relationships that don’t involve her. Take trips without her. Show her that you take active responsibility in meeting your own needs and solving your own problems."

Unless, of course, you really do want them living at home and mooching off of you forever. But let's be real, that's probably not as great as it sounds.


@findfoodfreedom/TikTok

Don't you wish YOU could be paid to nap?

It’s crazy to think about how, as an adult, we’d give damn near anything just to be able to take a nap, and yet when we’re kids it’s tantamount to a death sentence. Some kiddos fight, others whine, and still others scream a protest with all their might against an afternoon snooze for fear of missing out on the world around them…even though missing said nap is a surefire way for them to be in a foul mood later. Not to mention naps are vital for their mental development. But try telling that to a toddler who’s had their first taste of FOMO.

So how do parents coax kids into getting some midday rest? One mom swears by going the capitalistic route—with cold hard cash.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Sam Previte explains how her “very defiant, very independent" toddler daughter would nap at school “like a princess,” but refuse to do so at home on the weekends.

Getting creative, Previte introduced her daughter to the “Nap Fairy”—an idea she stumbled upon on social media—who would leave a penny, nickel, dime, or quarter in exchange for a nap. Of course, this fictional deal only closes if Previte's daughter actually falls asleep.

“Nap Fairy only comes when those eyes get heavy, and you rest your head on the pillow,” Previte quipped.

 
 @findfoodfreedom i saw this on social media and idk who suggested this so please comment below if it was you🩵 #parenting #parentingtips #postpartum #toddlersoftiktok #toddlermom #naptime ♬ original sound - Find Food Freedom 
 
 

To really sweeten the pot (and make the experience more fun), Previte even gave her daughter a little unicorn piggy bank to store all her nap coinage in, which opens the door to have future lessons about saving money.

And while Previte admitted that she never anticipated needing to incentive her kid this way, she lightheartedly warned folks that “ before you judge me, this s**t works.” Going by the comments, no judgment was had anyway. Parents were merely taking notes.

“Judge?! Mad at myself for not thinking about this!,” one person wrote, while another echoed. “Judge? Gurrrrl this is GENIUS.”

Still another joked, “girlll, we DONT judge. My dad printed face money with HIS FACE on em and called them ‘daddy dollars.’!

A few even shared how they too motivated their children with money, and to great success.

One mom wrote, “I pay my 5yo to read books. .25 for reading with help. $1 for reading to me.” While another said, “I pay my toddler for using the potty, she gets a quarter and I help her count her money then when we go to Walmart she can either get something small or she can save up for a toy.”

Previte’s "Nap Fairy" is a great example of creatively using positive reinforcement to teach kids about good habits. And what keeps it from being too extrinsic is that the reward itself is kept small, just enough for it to be an enjoyable ritual rather than a chore —though experts might suggest that Previte and other parents still not rely on this method too much, and consider weaning off it once a routine has been established.

Alternatively (or in addition to), parents could incorporate some verbal praise. Statements like, “Look how much energy you have after that nap!” are simple but make a big impact, and sometimes are the only magic words needed for a kid to continue pursuing desired behaviors.

Other than that, the key to creating a nap routine is quite similar to setting up a healthy bedtime routine as an adult—creating a cozy winding down ritual, dimming the lights, playing relaxing sounds, etc., and doing it at the same time each day. Even if no zzzs actually occur, there’s often a rejuvenating recharge.

Bottom line: when it comes to instilling good habits into kids, sometimes you gotta just go with what works. And you know what they say…cash is king.