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Single mom gives unforgettable speech to young daughter after her father left them

"Mom will always be here, my babies 🥹❤️."

allthingsmely/Instagram

Single mom gives moving speech to daughter upset her father left the family.

Single parents are caretakers of their children's hearts in a unique way. When a separation or divorce befalls a family, the fallout can leave many parents struggling to pick up the pieces of their own broken hearts and their kids'.

Instagrammer and single mom Mely (@allthingsmely) shared a vulnerable video of how she's helping heal her young daughter's heart after her father left their family. During the tender conversation, her daughter expressed her sadness, and Mely reminds her of her love and worth while allowing space for her to express her emotions.

"To every mom healing little hearts while healing her own: you are not alone. I see you," she wrote in the video's caption. She added, "Being a solo mom is tender, exhausting and beautiful all at once and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done."

The video is taken in the family's bathroom after bath time, and Mely gets down on eye-level with her daughter who is wrapped in her robe and crying to her. Mely says to her in Spanish, "It's okay to feel sad. It's okay," she says. "But I want you to know that you are SO LOVED. You are special. You are worthy of time, love and respect. You are so worthy of it all. You are worthy of it simply because you exist. It's okay to be sad. And mommy will always be here. I love you."

At the end of the video, she hugs and kisses her daughter in a sweet embrace. In the video's caption, she shared more about the pain her daughter is feeling: "The ache of absence is something I carried in silence for years, trying to protect my kids from it. But now, it’s more visible than ever through the physical distance and indifference of someone who was supposed to love us, cherish us and protect us," she wrote.

While Mely is dealing with her own emotional pain from separation, she shares that, "I can only imagine how confusing and painful it must be for a child (especially a 4 year old) to feel like she’s not being chosen or fully adored. But I see her pain. I feel it too."

She adds that the reason she is sharing the video is so that "every single mama out there feels a little less alone in this journey," before ending the post with a powerful sentiment. "I pray my kids grow up knowing that their mom chose courage. That she knew her worth and walked away from a life of emotional neglect and betrayal. That they are worthy of a love that’s present, consistent and safe. And that their hearts deserve to be cherished every day of their lives."

The emotional video had many people expressing praise for Mely in the comments. "This is so beautiful 🥹 I don’t know who needed to hear this most, you or your little one ❤️🩹," one wrote. Another added, "I Love this!!!!! Every child needs their mother’s there for reassurance 🥺❤️🙏🏽✨🙌🏼🫶🏼🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹." And another touched viewer commented, "Remember this goes for you too Mama, heal the little girl in you 🥹🫶."

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Fatherhood

Dad who grew up poor perfectly explains why it’s so hard to shake the poverty mindset

Even when you're doing well, the mindset never seems to go away.

via Blake Kasemeier, used with permission.

Blake Kasemeier and his children.

A video created by Blake Kasemeier has made a lot of people feel seen because it perfectly explains the mindset people develop when they grow up poor. But it’s not just about remembering the hard times of the past. It describes how even though Kasemeier has overcome poverty as an adult, the effects of growing up financially disadvantaged still follow him to this day.

Kasemeier tells stories on social media about parenting, grief, growing up, and where they sometimes collide. He documented the loss of his mom in the 2019 podcast series Good Grief and has written for some of the world’s leading health and fitness brands.

The video begins with Kasemeier admitting that when he was young, he'd always save half of his food until he got home "just in case." It was a symptom of living in a financially unstable family with a single mother who had him at 23 years old. To help them get by, she occasionally wrote "hot checks" at the grocery store and blasted a Counting Crows tape to cover up any scary sounds coming out of the car.

Even though sometimes it seemed like they wouldn't get by and it was “close most days” — "moms always find a way."

The video ends with a poignant stanza about the lasting effects of growing up in an economically unstable home.

“It sits inside of you. Kinda like a worry but a lot like a flame,” Kasemeier says. “These days, we are doing alright. Maybe the fire finally went out, but there is a part of me that will always taste the smoke.”

"The thing about being born rich or, rather, not poor, is that when you are broke, it feels like you are a tourist on a bad trip. A place that you don't belong," Kasemeier continues. "The thing about being born the other way around, is that as hard as you work to escape it, it's always gonna kinda feel like home."

The post received some emotional reactions from people on Instagram.

"I feel the last sentence is the most profound of this video—and the underlying sense of entitlement many have vs the underlying sense of lack of self-worth others may have," one commenter wrote.

"Tasting the smoke is a great way to put this. Growing up this way really makes you look at some of your frugality and not norm habits in a new light. Hard to relearn," another added.

Even though there were hardships growing up in an economically disadvantaged family, Kasemeier wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I am deeply grateful for the way I was raised,” he told Upworthy. “Unfortunately, everyone experiences some trauma in their upbringing—I wouldn't want to trade mine for someone else's. I grew up to be grateful for what I have and without a feeling of entitlement to success: I expected that everything that came to me was going to come through hard work and being kind to people and that has served me very well. It also allowed me to have a great deal of empathy for what everyone is going through.”

Kasemeier further explained the mindset to help those who weren’t raised in that environment better understand the mentality.

“I can tell you that what I experience is a feeling that the other shoe is going to drop, that when I'm up (financially), I don't expect it to last—that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome,” he told Upworthy. “There are little things—like constant anxiety that your card will decline when you go to check out at a grocery store (knowing full well that you have more than enough money). There are big things, like financial literacy.”

The video talks about economic insecurity, but is also touching tribute to his late mother, who, as he said in the post, "found a way.”

“She came from a tiny farm in rural Arkansas, moved to Hollywood where she met my dad and had me at 23 without a degree or any connections,” Kasemeier said. “They had a shotgun wedding and divorced shortly after, my mom was left to navigate parenthood in a pretty challenging way—something I appreciate so much having kids of my own at a totally different place in my life than she was.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing poverty, check out these resources to get connected with organizations and support.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Four single moms 'burn the rulebook of life' and buy a home together

“We've unlocked the power of sharing."

via Pexels

Single moms break the mold with their living arrangements.

Our choices in life should only be limited by our imaginations. However, far too many of us limit our options because of what others may think or how we’ve been raised.

Four women in Washington, D.C., completely reimagined their concepts of family, friendship and child-rearing and have created an urban commune where they’re free to pursue happiness in a way most people never consider.

Holly Harper and Herrin Hopper always joked that one day they'd live together on a commune in Vermont. But after they both got divorced, they began to take their old joke seriously.

"Holly and I said, 'Why not do this?'" Harper recalled in an interview with Today. "Within a weekend we found this house."

The two friends found two other single women, Jen and Leandra, and they purchased a four-unit home. The arrangement allows the four women to save money but it also has countless advantages for all four families. “We've unlocked the power of sharing, and our baseline expenses decreased, allowing us to experience abundance,” Harper wrote in Insider.

“This living arrangement is a kid's paradise, complete with a giant trampoline, a parkour line, a garden, a gym, a big-screen TV, and a craft studio,” Harper wrote. “Our kids—who can use the buddy system for a walk to get gelato, and who have playmates during the quarantine and homeschool months—are thriving.”

The children, ages 9 to 14, relate to each other like cousins and their new living arrangement provides them with new perspectives on life that they wouldn’t have had otherwise. It gives them a great opportunity to learn more about dating, bullying, divorce, family, sexual orientation, creativity, death and finding joy.

They also have no shortage of playmates and things to do. The home is equipped with a 15-foot trampoline, parkour slackline, hammocks, sleds and an inflatable pool in the summer. Living at the home they’ve dubbed “The Siren House” is a lot like a permanent summer camp.

It has also taught the four mothers how to share. The women share expenses, cars, food, babysitting duties, dog-walking and hugs with each other. Harper says that their living arrangement saves her $30,000 a year.

“We don’t know whose socks are whose ... socks everywhere,” Harper said. “iPads, dishes, cups. There’s a lot of exchanging that occurs. Usually not planned.”

To keep everything in order they have routine “homeowners meetings” where they discuss repairs and yard work. The meetings often happen over a bottle of Champagne.

"There is almost a spiritual safety net every day here," Harper said. "I could be my worst self, I could be my best self, and they see me for who I am, and it's OK."

For Harper, the home isn’t a utopia, but the arrangement gives the four families the greatest chance to find happiness. “The goal of life is not to reach some plane of happiness but to create an environment where we are safe to pursue happiness in every moment,” Harper wrote.


This article originally appeared on 3.15.22


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Family

Woman's viral TikTok praising her 'mommune' has other single moms asking where to sign up

She talked about how she found her chosen family, and how others can form their own.

@beacykefer/TikTok

"This is your sign to move into a Mommune."

The proverb “it takes a village” still holds true, despite communities dwindling in our modern world. Humans in general are hard-wired for collaboration, and when it comes to parenthood—an inherently difficult task—having the help of others can make a world of difference.

That’s why single mom Kristin, who goes by the handle @beachykefer, is sharing the gospel on how her fellow single moms support each other through challenging times, in what she lovingly calls a “mommune.”

In a now viral TikTok, Kristin shared how when she was under the weather (or “sick AF,” as she put it) her mommune not only made her homemade soup and cookies, they took her kids out to the park so she could rest and recover.

“This is your sign to move into a Mommune,” she captioned, while taking a well-deserved cookie bite.

Needless to say, other single moms were instantly intrigued by the idea and wondering where to sign up.

“Where do I get into a Mommune. Sounds like the perfect plan,” wrote one person.

Another wrote, in all caps,“THERE’S A NAME FOR THE DREAM???”

It appealed to more than just moms, too.

“I am child free but would join in a heartbeat. A bunch of women all helping and supporting each others sounds perfect,” commented one person.

“Quick, someone knock me up so I can live on a mommune,” joked another.

Kristin had so many women asking her how she formed a mommune that she created a follow-up video to explain:

@beachykefer Replying to @tarenterrill SO MANY COMMENTS haha hope this helps answer some of your questions on the Mommune I live in. #mommune #singlemom #divorcetok #storytime #HolidayOREOke @tessa_ryn ♬ original sound - Kristin

Before living in her mommune, she and her then-husband lived in a bus enjoying a nomadic lifestyle. However, that feeling soured when Kristin discovered her husband was having an affair.

She packed up her daughter and her dog and moved in with her friends—a married couple who welcomed them into their home and treated them so well that she called them her “angels.”

Only a couple of months of living there had passed when Kristin found out that another close friend was in a similar situation. Wanting her friend to have the same support during a challenging time, she invited her to move in, so that they could heal and raise their children together.

So now, Kristin’s “chosen family” consists of three women and one man, who they nickname a “unicorn.” And it’s been “the most amazing thing ever.”

“I 100% recommend starting your own mommune,” she said, adding the caveat that “it really does have to be [with] people who align with you, your values, your beliefs, and how you want to raise your children, and you trust them. I think that’s the most important thing to me.”

Be it blood relatives or platonic life partners, having a supportive, communicative family is so important. It’s great that there are opportunities out there to carve out a tribe for yourself, in whatever shape works best for you.

Wanting to find your own mommune? Kristin noted that other single moms have begun creating their own Facebook pages for their local areas. Alternatively, start small by finding one other single mom whose values you align with.

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