upworthy

rest

Wellness

This silly Scottish self-care trick from the 1800s could help you finally feel rested for once

It's called "hurkle-durkling" and you shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying it.

Image via Canva

Wondering where she got that rested glow? She hurkle-durkled.

Desperate times call for desperate, or sometimes even utterly ridiculous, measures. "Hurkle-durkle" might be the silliest-sounding phrase ever, but it could be the missing step in your self-care routine. Hurkle-durkling simply means to linger in bed long past the time when you “should” already be up. It’s a Scottish term dating back to the 1800s, originally having more to do with sitting in a crouching position either for warmth or secrecy, but it eventually took on a more relaxed and positive connotation.

It’s a word that only the biggest etymology enthusiast would know had it not been plucked from obscurity thanks to TikTok. Now, it's gone viral. The hurkle-durkling trend seems to have started with actress Kira Kosarin when she shared it as her “word of the day.” “I do be hurkling," she joked, "and I do be durkling and once I’ve hurkled my last durkle in a given morning I will get up, but I’m a big fan of a hurkle-durkle."


@kirakosarin

hurkle-durkle, u deserve it <3

Kosarin’s clip prompted others to share videos of themselves enjoying a good hurkle-durkling, blissfully wrapped in their sheets, basking in the sunlight, leisurely reading, etc. One woman hailing from Scotland even joked, “[The Scottish] knew it was so critical to well-being they made a whole term about it. So, no, I’m not being lazy or wasting my life. I’m practicing an ancestral right of passage. I’m connecting with my culture and heritage.”

It sounds awesome, refreshing, and freeing...but at this point you might be thinking, Wait, isn’t this just bed-rotting?

Bed-rotting, another TikTok trend about lying in bed, and hurkle-durkling are similar, but have very different contexts. Bed-rotting has more to do with symptoms of burnout and fatigue, whereas hurkle-durkling is a bit more hygge, if you will. It’s seen as a pleasurable activity meant to promote rest for overall wellbeing. Plus, a hurkle-durkle has an end in sight, whereas bed-rotting can take up an entire weekend, or longer.

bed-rotting, hurkle-durkling, bed rot, hurkle durkle, rest, burn out Bed-rotting has a more negative connotation...Image via Canva

No matter how silly "hurkle-durkle" sounds, it could be seriously good for us. A 2017 study found that sleeping in, even a couple days a week, reduce the chances of a heart attack or stroke by 63%, especially for folks who get less than six hours of sleep through the rest of the week (so, everyone, basically). Not only that, but getting those few extra minutes of shut-eye from hitting the snooze can help increase alertness and boost our mood.

Really, as with any self care practice, balance is key. Experts warn against staying in bed as an everyday practice or to avoid responsibilities an uncomfortable feelings, especially as too much inactivity can worsen feelings of depression. In some cases, sleeping in can also be dangerous to your health because many people tend to sleep in or oversleep as a way to "catch up" on the sleep they may have missed throughout the week. Experts suggest adults get seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Failing to do so can accumulate over time and lead to sleep debt, which is hard to escape and can increase the risk of health issues like obesity, heart disease, and more. In short, sleeping in on weekends is okay when done mindfully and moderately; in this context, it can actually be the rejuvenation we long for and that too many of us don’t grant ourselves.

In fact, Kristin Wilson, a licensed professional counselor and chief experience officer, told Yahoo Life that perhaps so many people are leaning into silly, catchy terms like "hurkle-durkle" because they make rest and self-care—activities many Americans "are hesitant to celebrate and fully embrace”—more accessible. Popular accounts like The Nap Ministry Self Care is for Everyone on Instagram prove that social media can play a major role in making self-care accessible and acceptable, with each account sporting 553 thousand and one million followers respectively.

"Sometimes our bodies just need a break, and we don’t want to feel guilty about taking time to rest," Wilson explained. "Giving this behavior a clever social media name can make it feel more socially acceptable and when it trends and becomes popular, it normalizes the need for relaxation within the community of followers."

So with that, show yourself some love with a little hurkle-durkle. It’s fun to say, and oh so important to do.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
hurkle durkle
WellnessHealth
Mental Health

What parents teach kids when we allow them to take a 'mental health day'

With zero hesitation—just a simple, "OK"—he turned the car around and took me home, and it's a lesson I've never forgotten.

Photo by Darwin Vegher on Unsplash

With one turn of the wheel, my dad taught me a lesson about self-care in high school that I'll never forget.

When I was in high school, I woke up one morning feeling overwhelmed. I was an honors student, I was involved in various activities and clubs, and for whatever reason, I felt thoroughly unprepared for the day. I don't recall if I had a test or a presentation or if it was just a normal school day that I couldn't face—I just remember feeling like I'd hit a wall and couldn't make my mental gears turn right.

I usually walked the mile and a half to school, but I was running late so my dad offered to drive me. In the car, I tried to keep it together, but halfway to school, the tears started to fall. My dad looked over and asked if I was OK.

"I don't know," I sobbed. "I feel like … I just … I need a day."

He knew I wasn't sick. He could have told me to tough it out. He could have given me a pep talk. He could have forced me to go. But he didn't do any of those things.

With zero hesitation—and just a simple "OK"—he turned the car around and took me home.

I have no memory of what I did the rest of that day. Three decades later, the only thing that sticks out is the basic-but-profound lesson my dad instilled in me the moment he turned that steering wheel: It's totally OK to take care of yourself.

We talked about it briefly on the way home. As it turned out, he was also taking a "mental health day." My dad was a social worker and, as an adult, I can totally understand why he would need to take a random day off sometimes. But it didn't really matter what he did for a living. Most of us need an occasional mental health day—adults, teens, and kids alike.

mental health day, mental health, relax, self care, kids, teens, adultsGirl relaxing in nature. Image via Canva.

Some schools have begun incorporating this understanding into their school attendance policies. Utah passed a bill in 2018 that allows a mental health day to count as an excused absence from school. Oregon enacted a similar law in 2019 and Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maine, Nevada and Virginia have followed suit. In a 2023 article, Verywell Mind noted all the US states that are either allowing student mental health days or have proposed bills to get the ball rolling.

“Mental health days are not only good for the practical aspect of giving young people a break," psychologist Caroline Clauss-Ehlers, Ph.D., told Healthline in 2020, "but they also validate that the community and society are saying, 'We understand and we’re supporting you in this way.'”

Occupational therapist Shelli Dry concurs, telling Healthline that acceptance of mental health days can help eliminate the stigma that often comes with mental illness.

“For schools to recognize that sometimes it’s better to take a mental health day than push through when you cannot seem to cope, is a tremendous support for students to feel understood and accepted, and [this, in turn, encourages] students to understand and accept themselves more,” she said.

kids relaxing, mental health day, mental health, self care, relaxation, kidsKids relaxing.Image via Canva.

Sometimes we forget how hard it is being a kid. In some ways, I think it's way harder than being an adult. Considering the fact that 1 in 6 kids between the ages of six and 17 experience a mental health disorder each year, we need to acknowledge that a lot of kids have days where they're struggling. But even kids who don't deal with mental illness sometimes need a down day. Modern life is busy and complex, no matter our age. Managing it all daily—and then also handling whatever extra stuff life throws at us—is a lot.

Part of good parenting is teaching kids to persevere through challenges, but encouraging perseverance has to be balanced with insight and wisdom. Sometimes kids might cry wolf, but it's important for parents to understand that kids might be dealing with more than we know. Sometimes kids need to be encouraged to dig deep for resilience. Sometimes kids have already been resilient for a long time and need a little time and space to just be.

My dad knew me. He understood that I wasn't just being lazy or trying to get out of doing something hard. He trusted me to know what I needed, which in turn taught me to listen to my inner alarm and trust myself. As a result, I've spent my adult life with a good sense of when I need to push through and when I need to pause and reset—a gift I'm immensely grateful for.

All of that said, this advice does come with a caveat. As a parent of kids who are learning to manage anxiety, mental health days can be a mixed bag. There's a difference between taking a mental health day because you really need it—which happens—and taking a mental health day to avoid facing fears—which also happens. Avoidance feels good in the moment but fuels anxiety in the long run, so parents and kids have to be aware of how the idea can be misused and unintentionally make certain mental health issues worse.

mental health, discernment, parents, kids, self care, good parentingDad walking child to school. Image via Canva.

The bottom line, however, is that kids need breaks sometimes. And when you allow them to take an occasional day here and there to breathe, to do some self-care, to reconnect with themselves and reset their mental and emotional barometer, you teach them that their well-being matters. You teach them that it's OK to acknowledge when they've hit a limit and pause to recoup their strength.

It's OK to turn the car around when you know you need to. That's a lesson we all need to learn, and one we need to support with work and school policies in addition to internalizing individually. We're making some good strides toward that goal, and the sooner we all get on the same page, the better everyone's well-being will be.

To learn more about how to help kids and teens with their mental health and self-care practices, The Kids Mental Health Foundation has tons of resources for parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, and more.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
mental health awareness
Mental HealthHealth
Wellness

"Time affluence" can radically change how you view your daily life

Not enough hours in the day? This might be for you.

Photo credit: Canva

A powerful new way to take control of your day.

What does it really mean to be wealthy? Having a hefty bank account and multiple streams of income? A fancy job with an even fancier-sounding name? ("Director" has a nice ring to it, don't you think?) There are a million ways to answer this question, but before you do, ask yourself one more: Will that really make me happy? While many of us would love a few more hours in the day, our actions don't reflect that. Often, we as a society spend an inordinate time dedicated to money: making it and saving it. But what about leisure time or rest? Yes, money is important, but without the time to do things we actually enjoy, what’s the point?

A growing body of research suggests something revolutionary: that a concept called “time affluence” is the true measure of a person's wealth. Rather than nice cars or a corner office in a high-rise building downtown, time affluence is the real key to happiness and well-being. Time affluence refers to the idea that, like money, time is a resource that can be saved, spent, and wasted. According to Ashley V. Whillans, a professor of business administration at Harvard Business School and the author of Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life, time affluence is the “feeling of having control and feeling like you have enough time on an everyday basis.” Her research indicates that those who value time over money tend to live happier, more civically engaged lives and are more inclined to pursue activities they’re passionate about.

So, why do so many of us feel like we’re running out of time?


Meet “time poverty”

Time affluence exists on a spectrum, with "time poverty" at the opposite end. While time-affluent people experience increased autonomy, improved moods, and enhanced states of mindfulness, those experiencing time poverty live in a world of constant stress. They remain fixated on work and productivity, feeling perpetually overwhelmed by an endless list of tasks with seemingly insufficient time to complete them. Research shows that time poverty leads to decreased well-being, poor physical health, and reduced productivity—yet why aren't we addressing this crisis? While billions are invested yearly to combat material poverty, while time poverty remains largely ignored and continues to worsen.


stress, frustration, unhappiness, time, time waster, busy, stressedWhy aren't we addressing this growing crisis?Photo credit: Canva

Our relationship with time reveals a troubling reality. Despite the rise of time-saving technologies in recent decades—from Internet to personal computers—these innovations and productivity tools haven't fundamentally changed how we use our time, nor have they increased our sense of time affluence. A 2010 study found that merely 9% of adults reported "quite often" having free time, while 45% claimed they were almost "never free."

Even Whillans recognized something was wrong when she, a successful Harvard Business School professor on the tenure track, felt chronically short on time. Despite her material wealth—the pay, prestige, and job security—she never allowed herself to rest. Her calendar was filled with meetings, but she left herself no space for leisure or personal pursuits. "Focusing our time is not selfish. It's really about making enough time for ourselves that we're able to have the energy and attention to best serve those that we care about," Whillans explained during a presentation in 2020. "We want to be reframing our time to see leisure as something that's productive and restful, and an end to itself."


The elusive concept of “time affluence”

Here's the paradox: having more money or time doesn't necessarily solve the problem—it can actually make it worse. In a study by Sanford E. DeVoe and Jeffrey Pfeffer in 2011, researchers found that people who placed a higher financial value on time (following the old adage "time is money") reported increased time pressure and showed less patience. Similarly, other research indicates that when people overly focus on time's value, they also experience greater psychological and physiological stress, and are less likely to slow down or enjoy leisure activities.


time, running out of time, clock, busy, life, stressWhen it comes to well-being, time does not equal money. Photo credit: Canva

But...too much time can be a problem, too. In a study conducted by Cassie Mogilner Holmes, a psychologist and professor at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management, she looked at the relationship between leisure time and happiness. On one hand, she found that people with less than two hours a day of free time reported decreased levels of happiness. On the other hand, those with more than five hours of free time per day also reported decreased levels of happiness. What’s going on here? It seems that the key to time affluence, which Holmes defines as “feeling confident that you are able to accomplish everything you want to do"—isn’t the abundance of free time or having unlimited hours in the day. “While having some time (i.e. more than two hours) is essential, the positive correlation between time and satisfaction only goes so far,” writes Barnaby Lashbrooke for Forbes. “Being time affluent, then, is less about having an excess of time, and actually about how you use the limited time that you do have.”


How to become time-affluent

So, you want to become time-affluent? Experts suggest the following strategies:

  1. Prioritize ruthlessly. With limited hours in each day, it makes sense to tackle the most important tasks first. Some people follow the Ivy Lee Method, which involves writing down your five most important tasks each evening, then completing them one by one the next day. Others prefer the "1-3-5" rule—focusing on one big task, three medium tasks, and five small tasks daily. Whichever method you choose, always ask yourself: What's the most urgent and important task? Start there.
  2. Buy back time by outsourcing tasks. While money can't buy happiness directly, it can buy precious time through strategic outsourcing. A few well-spent dollars can free you from tasks you dislike or find draining. Consider hiring a house cleaner or paying more in rent to live closer to work. As Laurie Santos, a psychologist and happiness researcher, says, "Studies show that people who spend money to get more free time are often happier than those who don't." But remember—outsourcing doesn't always require money. You can lean on your community, such as arranging alternating school drop-off schedules with neighbors.
  3. Practice “monotasking.” By now, most people know that multitasking isn’t real. It’s a myth—the human mind and brain aren’t sophisticated enough to perform more than two tasks simultaneously. So, do the opposite. Focus on one thing at a time.
  4. Be intentional about leisure time. “We want to be reframing our time to see leisure as something that’s productive and restful, and an end to itself,” advises Whillans. “Focusing on time is not selfish. It’s really in making enough time for ourselves that we’re able to have the energy and attention to best serve those that we care about.” Just like an important meeting or appointment, block time off on your calendar to dedicate purely to leisure and rest. By doing so, you are committing to caring about your well-being, and it’s just as essential as work.

In a world that's always demanding “more” of us—earn more, buy more, do more—perhaps what’s most revolutionary is reclaiming our time. And with it, our happiness.

From Your Site Articles
ideas
WellnessHealth
Wellness

Physician breaks down the 7 kinds of rest people need and no wonder everyone's so exhausted

If you're tired despite getting enough sleep, you may need a different kind of rest.

Photo credit: Canva

We need other kinds of rest besides sleep.

Do you frequently find yourself feeling exhausted, maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally, or existentially? Do you ever feel tired no matter how much sleep you get? When someone says, "You need to get some rest," what does that mean to you?

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith has an explanation for that. The internal medicine physician explains in a TED Talk that sleep and rest are not the same thing—we have incorrectly conflated the two—and that there are actually 7 types of rest every human needs. Sleep takes care of some of our need for rest, but certainly not all, and our lack of these other kinds of rest may explain why so many of us feel so spent so much of the time.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

If you're feeling tired, wiped out, spent, or otherwise exhausted, take a look at these 7 kinds of rest and see what you might need to incorporate more of into your life.

1. Physical rest

Dr. Dalton-Smith says that physical rest can be passive or active. Passive rest is what we often think of as physical rest, like sleeping or napping. Active physical rest includes things like stretching, massage, yoga, or other things we do to restore and refresh our bodies.

2. Mental rest

If you find your mind racing at night as you try to go to sleep, you may need some mental rest. Examples of mental rest include disconnecting from the constant mental stimuli of modern life, engaging in meditation and mindfulness exercises, using a notebook to spill your overflow of thoughts. Mental rest can be done in short spurts throughout the day or incorporated into your daily routine.

mental rest, sensory overload, rest, relaxation, taking a breakWe all need to give our minds and senses a break sometimes.Photo credit: Canva

3. Sensory rest

We live in a world of fairly constant sensory bombardment, and finding ways to relieve your senses can be a challenge. Dr. Dalton-Smith suggests sensory rest by turning off electronics, dimming lights, putting on comfortable clothes, embracing the stillness and quiet for a bit. Sitting in your car with the engine off an be a great place for sensory rest, as the car often blocks more sound than our homes do. Lying in a bathtub with your ears under the water is another way to create a sensory respite.

4. Creative rest

When we are constantly dealing with problems that need to be solved, our creative energy can get drained. Creative rest means doing things that restore our creative energy and awaken the awe and wonder that lie at the heart of creativity. This kind of rest includes things like indulging in the beauty of nature, enjoying an artistic performance or creation, or even something as simple as doodling. It can also mean setting up spaces around you that inspire you.

"Turn your workspace into a place of inspiration by displaying images of places you love and works of art that speak to you," suggests Dr. Dalton-Smith. "You can’t spend 40 hours a week staring at blank or jumbled surroundings and expect to feel passionate about anything, much less come up with innovative ideas."

rest, relaxing in nature, beauty of natureA little time enjoying nature's beauty can restore your creativity.Photo credit: Canva

5. Emotional rest

Some of us face more emotional demands than others, but all of us need breaks from them once in a while. Emotional rest might look like saying no to requests that you know will be emotionally draining, talking to a trusted friend or loved one about things you're struggling with, journaling to unload some emotional weight you've been carrying, or stepping away from the urge to people please. Emotional rest might also include talking to a therapist or counselor (though sometimes that's actually hard emotional work).

6. Social rest

Much is made about people being introverts or extroverts, but we all need social rest sometimes. Taking some time to be alone with no social expectations or obligations once in a while is healthy for everyone. But social rest can also mean recognizing which relationships in our lives drain us and which ones fill us up and choosing to engage with the latter. Keeping track of your social battery and doing what you need to do to recharge it is social rest.

meditation, spiritual rest, mindfulness, nurturing your spiritMeditation is one form of spiritual rest.Photo credit: Canva

7. Spiritual rest

Existential exhaustion requires tapping into something deeper, which is where spiritual rest comes in. Dr. Dalton-Smith describes spiritual rest as "the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance and purpose." Spiritual rest might look like prayer or meditation for those who connect with a higher power, but it can also look like volunteering in your community, communing with nature, spending purposeful time with loved ones, or otherwise connecting with your spiritual side.

One thing that's clear in Dr. Dalton-Smith's explanations of different kinds of rest is that rest doesn't mean not doing anything. The purpose of rest is to restore and refresh, and that can actually mean doing something active. When we don't pay heed to the kinds of rest we need, we suffer. As Dr. Dalton-Smith says, ignoring those needs results in "a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired, burned-out individuals."

We definitely need sleep, but when sleep alone isn't restoring us, we need to examine what other kinds of rest we may be deficient in. Dr. Dalton-Smith even created a quiz to help people determine where they might want to look for better rest, which you can take here. You can also find more of Dr. Dalton-Smith's thoughts on rest in her book, "Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity."

From Your Site Articles
health
WellnessHealth
Trending Stories