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upworthy

etymology

Joy

People share how badly named things should be renamed and it's an absolute riot

Contractions = "birthquakes" and jet skis = "boatercycles."

Dentures really should be called substitooths.


Language is a fascinating thing to explore. Where words come from, how things are named, the way sayings and slang are constantly being invented—it's all great fun to plunge into.

But sometimes a deep dive into words and language reveals missed opportunities as we contemplate what a thing should be called instead of what it is.

Reddit user johnnylgarfield asked, "What is badly named, and what is a better name for it?" and hoo boy did the wordsmiths deliver.


Anything that could have "Otto" in it should

"Otto Preminger wrote his own biography and failed to title it Otto-Biography.

Once in a lifetime pun, and he just threw it away." – hippo717

"I saw an automatic car wash with the name "Otto's automatic carwash"

The fact it wasn't called an ottomatic carwash still hurts me." – ShadowVader

man riding on a jet ski

Man taking a "boatercycle" out for a spin.

Photo by Yuriy Bogdanov on Unsplash

Alternate names for everyday things that we should seriously consider

"I keep seeing people say that contractions should be birthquakes." – ssssobtaostobs

"Dentures. Should be Substitooths" – donkeyknuckles

"Any bacon alternative that is not named Fācon is an abomination." – RitaPoonismysister

"Jet ski. Dumb name. Obviously it is a Boatercycle." – KYbywayofNY

"Hemorrhoids should be asteroids obv." – UncleDuude

"Olives should be Greece’s Pieces." – rmg18555

Words that just shouldn't be the way they are, on principle

"Abbreviation should be a much shorter word. Dyslexia should also be easier to spell."– Masked_Daisy

"Lisp" shouldn't make me lisp." – rhaegar89

"And why isn't palindrome a palindrome?" – slimfastdieyoung

"Why is a fear of palindromes aibohphobia?!?" – 1nonspecificgirl

"The same reason the fear of big words is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia." – redwolf1219

"The word for your condition is also your exposure therapy!" – quaffee

butterfly on a flower

A beautiful flutterby.

Photo by Calvin Mano on Unsplash

How about two things that should simply be swapped?

"I'm not the first to say it, but 'pick-up artists' and 'garbage men' should swap titles." – GGAllinPartridge

"A driveway should be a parkway and a parkway should be a driveway." – scottcmu

"And cookies and bacon should switch since you bake cookies but cook bacon." – cwx149

"Butterflies should be Flutterbys." – genderlawyer

A whole thread just for the weather folks

"Weather forecast is boring. Weather prophecy is awesome." – dire18

"Atmospheric foretelling." – uneducated_sock

"Precipitation Prognostication" – VonBrewskie

"As the atmospheric oracles have foretold, 'tis raining." – Shi-Rokku

"Meteoracles*" – HauntedHippie

"You mean the skyentists?" – illfygli

a group of crows on a stone wall

"Murder of crows" can stay.

Photo by Qurratul Ayin Sadia on Unsplash

And everyone's favorite, the naming of animal groups

"Why is a group of squid called a shoal when it should be called a squad?" – xdark_realityx

"A squid squad? Nice.

A crow crew

A whale wall

A swan swarm

A bat batch

A lobster cluster

and of course

A group of groupers" – loopywolf

"Cloister of oysters" – itsmarvin

"A Murder of Crows. It should be a CawCawphony." – EscapedCapybara

"A murder of crows goes so unfathomably hard tho, it can stay." – mrspuffispeng

"The committee on groups of bird names are the best in the business. They put everyone else to shame. Murder, curiosity, charm, kettle, mural, cast, parliament. Why even compete?" – remeard


Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

Two donkeys are better than one—'repetition teaches the donkey.'

You probably know what it means to hit the hay, tie the knot or buy a lemon. Maybe you’ve already killed two birds with one stone today, so effortlessly that it was a piece of cake. But to a non-English speaker, using these phrases would probably make you sound crazy … or should I say gone crackers?

That’s the fun thing about idioms. They change depending on the time, place and culture creating them. In other words, they usually sound ridiculous to anyone except those who normally use them.

Looking at turns of phrase in different languages helps us see the world through different eyes. And man does it seem impressive at a party.

Just think, instead of saying “it’s raining cats and dogs,” next time you could incorporate a more Lithuanian take, and say “it’s raining axes.” How metal is that?

It can also be raining old women, barrels, buckets, pipe stems, frogs, female trolls, fire and brimstone … depending on where you’re from.

Some of these idioms from around the world make a lot of sense. Others get so lost in translation, you can’t help but get tickled pink.


Swedish

”Nu ska du få dina fiskar värmda.”

Literal translation: Now your fishes will be warmed.

It's another way of saying someone’s in trouble, or their “goose is cooked.”

The Swedish language is definitely not lacking in the threats department. They also have a saying, “nu har du satt din sista potatis,” which translates to “now you have planted your last potato.”

Imagine hearing Batman say “You’ve planted your last potato, Joker.” Doesn't have quite the intended effect.

Italian

“Avere gli occhi foderati di prosciutto.”

Literal translation: To have one’s eyes lined with ham.

Leave it to the Italians to have food-related phrases. You can use this when someone can’t see what’s right in front of them. It can also be used when someone is blinded by love. Sadly, there is no “ham-colored glasses” idiom.

Icelandic

Að leggja höfuðið í bleyti.”

Literal translation: To lay your head in water.

You say this when you “need to sleep on something,” or “put your thinking cap on.” This one is hilarious because I cannot fathom getting any mental clarity from holding my head in the water.

Arabic

"At-Tikraar yu’allem al-Himaar.”

Literal translation: Repetition teaches the donkey.

Practice makes perfect, but it especially does for donkeys. Animal-themed wisdom at its finest.

German

"Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof."

Literal translation: I only understand train station.

It's another way of saying “it’s all Greek to me.”

The history of this one is a bit mysterious. One theory is that it originated from WWI soldiers who had only one thing on their mind after getting discharged: returning home. Meaning, they could only comprehend the train station that would lead them there. Others say it refers to tourists new to Germany who have really only learned the German word for “train station.” Which would indicate that everything else is foreign to them.

And let’s not forget “nicht mein bier, nicht meine sorgen,” translating to “not my beer, not my worries.”

(Fun fact: The term “not my circus, not my monkeys” actually stems from a Polish proverb, not an English saying at all.)

Norwegian

Å snakke rett fra leveren.”

Literal translation: To speak directly from the liver.

When you say something without sugar-coating it, you are speaking directly from the liver. This dates back to a time when the liver was thought to be the magical organ that produced courage. So speaking from the liver is just like speaking from the heart, only down and to the right a little.

Chinese

“Mama huhu.”

Literal translation: Horse horse, tiger tiger.

You can use it to say something is just okay. Not good, not bad, just … meh.

As the story goes, a Chinese painter who, not very good at his craft, created a drawing of an animal that looked sort of like a tiger, and sort of like, you guessed it, a horse. That story actually has a tragic ending that serves as a cautionary tale against carelessness. But nowadays it takes on a lighter connotation.

And like “comme ci, comme ca” in French, “horse horse, tiger tiger” isn’t quite as commonly spoken as non-native speakers would assume.

Language continues to be an ever-evolving and always entertaining way to not only appreciate other cultures, but also note the similarities. Words might change slightly, but ultimately we're all expressing the same things.

A doornail really is deader than a regular nail.

"Old Marley was as dead as a doornail."

Charles Dickens' line from "A Christmas Carol" is probably the most famous example of the phrase "dead as a doornail," but it's certainly not the only one. Shakespeare used it in Henry IV Part 2: "Look on me well: I have eat no meat these five days; yet, come thou and thy five men, and if I do not leave you all as dead as a doornail, I pray God I may never eat grass more." An unnamed poet used the idiom for the first time in print in a poem published in 1350, but it's still not uncommon to hear it used today.

"Dead as a doornail" obviously means dead, deceased, definitively not alive. But why a doornail and not just a nail? All nails are dead by their nature of being metal, right? So why even use a nail at all? Why not "dead as a door" or "dead as a rock"? Those are dead, too. What makes a doornail specifically deader than other dead things?

There's a surprisingly interesting answer to that question. As it turns out there really is a good reason for specifying a doornail to convey being really, truly dead.

YouTube creator Malcolm P.L., who mostly makes videos about the history of armor, shared an explanation as well as a demonstration of what a doornail actually is:


So it turns out that a doornail isn't just a nail in a door, but a nail that cannot be removed and reused. Way back when, nails were made by hand and quite valuable. People would salvage and repurpose nails whenever they could. The way doornails were bent and driven into the backside of a door made it virtually impossible for them to be reused as a nail.

So not only are doornails dead simply because they're nails, but because their future potential for any other use is also dead. They are doubly dead, if you will. Extra deceased.

How many other idioms do we commonly use without knowing their full origins? Let the cat out of the bag? The whole nine yards? Spill the beans? Get someone's goat?

Language is so fascinating. Time to do some Googling.


Do you ever notice that there is beauty to be found in the imperfections of life? That the changes that come with the natural process of growth and decay are something that we should embrace, or even celebrate, instead of fight?

The Japanese have a term for that idea—wabi sabi. A concept that takes a couple dozen words to explain English is summed up in just four syllables in Japanese.

The diversity of human languages can be fun to explore, especially when you come across words or phrases that don't translate directly or that take far more words to describe in your own tongue. There are some things that are named in other languages that we just don't have words for in English.

For instance, here are 14 awesome words that would come in super handy sometimes.


(Note: pronunciations are using English phonetics, which don't perfectly reflect the way they sound in the original languages.)


Arbejdsglæde (Danish)

Pronounced [ah-bites-gleh-the]

The satisfaction, fulfillment, or happiness you get from a job that you love. Literally and simply "job joy" (though no one ever seems to use that phrase in the U.S.).


Backpfeifengesicht (German)

Pronounced [back-fifen-ge-zisht]

A person whose face is just begging to be slapped really hard. Such a useful term.


Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese)

Pronounced [KAH-foo-neh]
The act of tenderly running your fingers through a loved one's hair. Awww.

Fernweh (German)

(pronounced "feirn-vey")

Literally means "far sick." Homesickness for a place you've never been before. A deeper feeling than simple wanderlust.


Fisselig (German)

Pronounced [fi-sel-ig]

Being flustered to the point of being unable to function. Been there.


Fuubutsushi (Japanese)

Pronounced [foo-boot-soo-shee]

Something—a feeling, scent, or image—that reminds you of or makes you yearn for a particular season. (Pumpkin spice, for example.)


Gezelligheid (Dutch)

Pronounced [ge-zel-lig-hide]

That warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you're hanging out with friends or family whose company you truly enjoy. Something we all missed during lockdowns.


Hyppytyynytyydytys (Finnish)

Pronounced [hyp-ya-teyrna-teyrna-dish]

Seriously the best word ever with the best meaning ever. It means the pleasure and satisfaction you get from sitting on a bouncy cushion. Ha!


Iktsuarpok (Inuit)

Pronounced [Ikt-soo-ar-poke]

The feeling of anticipation when you're waiting for someone to arrive and keep checking the door to see if they're there. A universal phenomenon.


Jijivisha (Hindi)

Pronounced [ji-ji-vi-sha]

The intense desire to live life to its fullest, to continuously live in the highest state of being. Nice.

Kummerspeck (German)

Pronounced [koo-mer--speck]

The weight you gain from emotional overeating. Literally—and fittingly—translates as "grief bacon."


Meraki (Greek)

Pronounced [murr-ahh-key]

Pouring yourself so wholeheartedly into something with soul, creativity, or love that you leave a piece of yourself in your work.


Shemomedjamo (Georgian)

Pronounced [sheh–mo–med–JAH–mo]

That feeling when a food tastes so good you can't stop eating it. Literally translates to "I accidentally ate the whole thing." Perfect.


Tsundoku (Japanese)

Pronounced [Tsoon-doh-koo]

Buying a bunch of books or other reading material and letting them pile up, unread. Now I just feel like Japan is spying on me.


There are countless words like this in various languages around the world, terms that don't simply translate over into English without a whole explanation. But some might be surprised to find that we have words for things in English that we simply don't use all that often. For example, did you know there's a word for that amazing smell that accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather? It's called petrichor. There's also a word for the appealing, wistful mysteriousness of old bookshops—vellichor.

Or how about ultracrepidarian—a person who expresses opinions on matters outside the scope of their knowledge or expertise? We could have used that term about a hundred thousand times this year.

While we're adding these cool foreign words to our lexicon, maybe we should dig a little deeper into English to find words we didn't even know existed. (Then perhaps we can get to work choosing a universal language we can all learn along with our native tongues so we can easily communicate with each other everywhere we go while still retaining our beautiful cultural expressions. Wouldn't that make life on Earth so much easier?)