upworthy

research

Community

They thought their son lived an isolated life. But when he died, friends showed up in droves.

Mats Steen's parents were shocked to learn their severely disabled son had lived a rich, independent life they knew nothing about.

Netflix/YouTube

Mats Steen lived a secret life that his family only discovered after he died.

Mats Steen was only 25 years old when he passed away, his body succumbing to the genetic disease that had slowly taken his mobility since childhood. He'd lived in a wheelchair since his early teens, and by his 20s, his physical abilities had deteriorated to the point of only being able to move his fingers. He could push buttons and use a mouse, and he spent nearly all of his waking hours playing video games in his parents' basement.

His family loved him and cared for him through it all, giving him as much of a normal life as they could. But they also lamented everything they knew he'd missed out on. "Our deepest sorrow lay in the fact that he would never experience friendships, love, or to make a difference in people's lives," Mats' father shares.

Mats left behind the password to a blog he kept. Not knowing if anyone would actually read it, his parents published the news of Mats' passing in a blog post, adding their email address in case anyone wanted to reach out.

Much to their surprise, messages began pouring in from around the world—not just with condolences, but with heartfelt stories from people who called Mats their friend.

The Steens soon discovered that their son had lived a much fuller life than they'd ever imagined—one that included all the things they always wished for him.

As his online life was revealed, the family learned that Mats began his days with a routine 30-minute sprint through the forest. He frequented cafes and pubs, chatting with strangers and flirting with women. He sat by campfires having heart-to-heart conversations. He made friends and enemies. He fought heroic battles. He supported people in times of need. He gave advice that people took. He experienced his first kiss.

And he did it all as "Ibelin," his handsome, muscular avatar in the online game World of Warcraft.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Mats' life is showcased in the documentary The Remarkable Life of Ibelin, in which his parents share the story of how they discovered their son's group of friends they didn't know he had.

People who've never played an open world roleplay game like World of Warcraft may wonder how real community can be built through it, but Mats' story proves it's possible. The friends he made through the game have shared the real influence he'd had on their real lives, from helping them with problems they were facing to empowering them to make positive changes in their relationships.

Though he never met them face-to-face, Mats' online friends say he made a significant impact on them.

A young woman Ibelin had connected with as a teenager—the one with whom he'd shared that first virtual kiss—shared that her parents had taken away her computer when they feared gaming was interfering with her studies. When she logged on at a local library, Mats gave her a letter he had written to give to her parents, encouraging them to talk with her about her gaming hobby and to work out a solution together that didn't require her to give it up completely. She printed it and gave it to them. Miraculously, it worked.

Another woman had been having a hard time connecting with her autistic son as a young adult. When she talked with Ibelin about her struggles, he suggested that she and her son start gaming together and connect in that way first. Eventually, that connection via the virtual world led to warmer in-person interactions between them—and a life-changing shift in their relationship.

"I don't think he was aware of the impact that he had done to a lot of people," the mother shared.

Mats interacted with the same online friends as Ibelin for years, going through the kinds of ups and downs all friendships experience. He kept his physical condition a secret until close to the end of his life, when he finally opened up to another player who convinced him to share his reality with the others. Some traveled from other countries to attend his funeral, with one of them speaking on the group's behalf and a few of them serving as pallbearers. Those who knew Ibelin also held a memorial in-game at his virtual gravesite—a tradition that has spread beyond just his own guild.

Typically, we think of someone escaping the real world and spending hours a day playing video games as unhealthy, but for Mats, it was a lifeline. As Ibelin, Mats was able to have a level of independence and a rich social life that simply wasn't possible for him in the offline world—an uniquely modern phenomenon that technology and human creativity have made possible.

Mats' impact on his online community was real, and 10 years after his passing his impact is spreading even further.

Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), the genetic disease that Mats lived with and ultimately died from, affects 300,000 boys worldwide. It only affects males and it has no cure. But CureDuchenne, a global nonprofit dedicated to funding and finding a cure, partnered with video game company Blizzard Entertainment's World of Warcraft in Mats' honor from the end of 2024 until January 7, 2025. During that window, World of Warcraft players could purchase a limited-edition pet fox named Reven ("fox" in Norwegian). The Reven Pack, which includes a transmog backpack and Reven’s Comfy Carrier, costs $20, with 100% of the purchase price being donated to CureDuchenne.

The Reven Pack on World of Warcraft—100% of purchase cost goes to the CureDuchenne foundation.World of Warcraft/CureDuchenne

“Mats Steen lived a life in World of Warcraft that he couldn’t in the real world as he fought Duchenne muscular dystrophy alongside his incredible family, who I’m proud to have met and fallen in love with,” said Holly Longdale, executive producer of World of Warcraft. “Working with CureDuchenne for our Charity Pet Program, in honor of Mats’ memory, allows us to harness the power of our phenomenal global community to bring meaningful impact to so many lives.”

In February 2025, CureDuchenne announced that The Reven Pack raised over two million dollars in support. Later in the month, Debra and Hawken Miller of Cure Duchenne spoke with ViceVice and shared how The Reven Pack helped raise valuable awareness about Duchenne in addition to funds. For those interested in updates, the site keeps donors and supporters current on all developments in Duchenne research news.

Mats life was truly impactful in many ways and to many people. His love, kindness, and friendship touched lives and his legacy continues to help those struggling with this rare disease. According to the site, since the inception of CureDuchenne, life expectancy for those with the disease has increased by a decade and over fifty million dollars have been raised for research, education, and care.

You can learn more about Mats' story in the award-winning documentary, The Remarkable Life of Ibelin on Netflix.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
Love Stories

Researchers have been secretly studying who gets "the ick" and what it might say about you

"The ick" has been around for ages but never measured and analyzed. Until now.

Canva Photos

The ick: A sudden revulsion to a romantic partner over trivial behavior.

The first time I heard of "the ick" came from watching the hit Netflix show Nobody Wants This. In the show, Kristen Bell's character suddenly develops the ick for Adam Brody's character (whom she's dating) after a series of relatively minor faux pas as he's trying to impress her parents. He wears a cheesy sports coat and makes one-too-many corny jokes, to be precise. She suddenly finds herself repulsed by him, and insists that no one has "ever come back from the ick."

Adam Brody's character eventually wins her back over with an impressive display of emotional maturity, but it was a fascinating sequence nonetheless. It brought the term to the attention of a lot of viewers and catapulted it even higher into the zeitgeist.

A new study in the journal Personality and Individual Differences aims to shed light on this phenomenon, and the people who experience it.


dating, relationships, break ups, divorce, the ick, dating studyThe Ick even made it to JeopardyGiphy

For starters, let's define "the ick," or rather, let the authors of the study do it:

"The 'ick' 'is a sudden and visceral aversion to a romantic partner, often triggered by behaviors or characteristics that superficially signal incompatibility or low mate quality."

In other words, it's when a person says or does something that really skeeves you out or turns you off. It sounds a little silly, but the ick can be extremely powerful and tough for people to shake. That's because, as the authors note, whatever the behavior is that icked you out might signal that you're not a good match for this person, or that they're just a low quality partner in general. So in a sense, it's an evolutionary protection mechanism.

It seems extremely harsh that our bodies would be trained to reject partners at the slightest misstep, but in evolutionary terms, it makes a lot of sense:

"A false-positive error—accepting an incompatible partner—can drain resources, reduce reproductive success, and carry long-term relational consequences, whereas a false-negative error—rejecting a compatible partner—results in a missed opportunity but poses fewer immediate risks," the study says.

So if the guy you were into shows up in a fedora one day, it's probably best to show him the door posthaste. Better safe than sorry.

What causes the ick?


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It's usually brought on by things that, on the surface, seem pretty unimportant. We're not talking about cheating, emotional abuse, or being a bad person. It's much subtler than that. The researchers use lots of examples from TV to make their point:

"In Seinfeld ... Jerry is disgusted by his date's 'manly' hands; and in Sex and the City ... Carrie is revolted by a lover after learning he wrote her a love song."

But where the actual studying part of the study comes in is that the authors began inhaling TikTok videos where users discussed their experiences getting the ick, and they began rigorously categorizing the responses.

The real-life examples are even more nit-picky, like someone who licks their fingers before turning a page. Girls "tripping in public." A guy wearing jorts, or bending over too far and accidentally showing his butt crack. Or, in Adam Brody's case, wearing a sports coat. In many cases these simple (and hilarious!) things are death knells for a relationship once the ick sets in.

The researchers broke ick-inducing behaviors down into a few buckets: Gender incongruence, public embarrassment, or physical appearance. Believe it or not, physical appearance was not the most common! Gender incongruence — guys doing girly things, girls doing manly things — was the biggest category of ick-driving behavior. One girl said the guy she was dating gave her "the ick" when he laid his head on her shoulder affectionately.

Wow...

What getting "the ick" might say about you

disgust, inside out, the ick, dating, relationships, break ups, studies, scientific researchPrime candidate for The IckGiphy

The next part of the study involved recruiting participants who were willing to answer questions about their own experiences with this phenomenon. After thorough interviews, researchers narrowed down three traits that seem to indicate people are more likely to get "the ick,":

Narcissism. People who like to be the center of attention or otherwise display narcissistic tendencies were highly correlated in this study.

Perfectionism. Not perfectionism of the self, mind you! But people who scored highly on questions related to holding the people around them to exceptionally high standards were more prone to "the ick."

Disgust sensitivity. People were more likely to have experienced "the ick" if they answered strongly on questions relating to feeling disgust even outside of a dating or interpersonal sense. People who get exceptionally grossed out by disgusting things are more likely to experience revulsion at minor behaviors in a romantic partner.

Any of those things sound like you? If you're feeling judged, don't. Remember, getting icked-out by a partner isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could be an evolutionary response trying to protect you from making a bad choice (like having a baby with a weirdo). Though it's also important to remember this biological strategy also discards a lot of potentially great partners, so listen to your ick wisely — you might just want to give fedora guy another chance, after all.

From Your Site Articles
dating
Kids

Researchers reveal how behavior at age 6 affects your life at 25 in fascinating study

The team measured kindergartener's social behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

Canva Photos

Big smiles in class at kindergarten.

From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity. As parents, we want to raise those A and A+ students, the valedictorians that will go on to be surgeons and scientists and heads of state. Yet, despite the fact that we have more information and communication from schools and teachers than ever, many parents find it difficult to keep tabs on whether their child is excelling or falling behind.

It can be a little stressful. But there is some good news, and that's that even if your kid isn't knocking it out of the park when it comes to standardized testing and report card, there are other ways to be assured that they're well-prepared for success when they grow up.

A study published in the American Journal of Public Health showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.


kindergarten, school, kids, children, elementary school, teachers, educationa group of children playing with toys on the floor Photo by BBC Creative on Unsplash

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's are 3 crucial findings they uncovered.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

adam sandler, billy madison, kindergarten, school, kids, teachers, educationGiphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test. In other words, the raw grade can't measure a kid's determination, motivation, clever problem-solving skills, and ability to cooperate.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

kindergarten, schools, elementary school, curriculum, teachers, students, kids, children, parentingpeople sitting on blue carpet Photo by CDC on Unsplash

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on subjective measures like whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

For example, another study released in 2022 showed that kids with poor sleep quality and "excessive daytime sleepiness" (Hey, I think I might have that!) demonstrated worse prosocial behavior. So what goes on at home clearly has a big impact that's tough for teachers and researchers to measure in the classroom.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside. That could look like taking time to help children label their emotions, encouraging cooperative work (the dreaded group project may be beneficial after all), or prioritizing children learning study skills and problem solving and not just the material at hand. Of course, teachers are already up to their eyeballs in rigid curriculum standards and often don't have the time or independence to go off script, which is a problem in and of itself.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

From Your Site Articles
kindergarten
Planet

Carl Sagan once easily debunked flat Earthers with just a piece of cardboard

The science doesn't lie.

Image via YouTube

Carl Sagan on 'Cosmos'

Over the past few years, there has been a growing number of people who believe the Earth is flat. A 2019 YouGov survey of more than 8,000 Americans found that as many as one in six are "not entirely certain the world is round."

Flat Earth Theory has, surprisingly, gained a lot of traction. A 2021 study published in the National Library of Medicine posited that the theory is buoyed by "the cognitive tendency to interpret, favor, and recall information in order to strengthen one's personal beliefs" or, in other words, confirmation bias. Though the "how" and "why" of Flat Earth Theory and its popularity is fascinating (and troubling, to be honest), the scientifically proven truth is that the Earth is round. It is a globe. It is spherical.

Of course, the knowledge that the Earth is round is not new. Ancient Greek philosophers across centuries studied and found evidence that the Earth is indeed round thousands of years ago. Way back in the 6th century BC, Pythagoras first proposed the Earth was round from observing the shape of the Moon. In the 5th century, Empedocles and Anaxagoras noticed evidence of the Earth's true shape by observing its curved shadow during lunar eclipses. In the 4th century, Aristotle argued the Earth was round after noting how ships disappear "hull-first" over the horizon line. In the 3rd century, Eratosthenes actually calculated the Earth's circumference using geometry and shadows with shocking accuracy.

earth, globe, sphere, flat earth, skeptics, scienceWe've got the whole (round) world in our hands. Image via Canva

Naysayers remain skeptical, and there's probably no changing their minds, but to this day, experts insist the Earth is round and back it up with cold, hard science. NASA posted this video just days ago. Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Here's where Carl Sagan comes in.

Sagan hosted the original version of TV's Cosmos: A Personal Journey in 1980-81. According to PBS, Cosmos would become "one of the highest-rated programs in the history of public television" largely due to Sagan's ability for "reinterpreting intricate scientific jargon into elegant and memorable statements that the common person can easily conceptualize and appreciate." The show would be revived in 2014 with astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson at the helm.

In the first episode of Cosmos, Sagan easily proved the Earth was a sphere using a piece of cardboard, some sticks, and the work of none other than the ancient Libyan-Greek scholar, Eratosthenes. Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"How could it be, that at the same moment, a stick in Syene would cast no shadow and a stick in Alexandria, 800 km to the north, would cast a very definite shadow?" Sagan asked. "The only answer was that the surface of the Earth is curved," he concluded. "Not only that, but the greater the curvature, the bigger the difference in the length of the shadows."

Considering the distance between the two cities and the lengths of the shadows they produced, Eratosthenes was able to determine that the Earth had a seven-degree curve. He used that calculation to speculate the Earth was 25,000 miles in circumference.

These days, we know that the earth is 24,901 miles in circumference, which means Eratosthenes was less than 100 miles off. Didn't we say his accuracy was shocking? Not bad for over 2,000 years ago.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

From Your Site Articles
science
Trending Stories