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postpartum depression

Fatherhood

Dad with postpartum depression took his baby on a walk. It started a mental health movement.

"Because fatherhood is better together."

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A dad takes his child on a stroller ride.

Kalvin Bridgewater couldn't quite put his finger on why he felt so off after his newborn daughter arrived. Sure, he was exhausted—babies can cause that. His wife was suffering with crying jags and anxiety, which, as a society, we often pinpoint as postpartum depression. They sought help for her, but Kalvin's mental health continued to decline.

He shares on his website, "I didn't even notice how much I was changing myself. My health was declining and my weight went from 200 to 265 from stress eating—food became my only comfort from what I now know was postpartum depression."

The National Library of Medicine reports that postpartum depression in men can occur soon after a child is born. "It is frequently reported in mothers but can also occur in fathers. There are no established criteria for PPD in men, although it could present over the course of a year, with symptoms of irritability, restricted emotions, and depression."

Bridgewater shares that one day he took their baby for a walk in a stroller. He was joined by about four other dads who would also take their babies for walks together. They started calling themselves the Daddy Stroller Social Club. "This grew to 75 to 100 dads coming out to these events," he shares on a TikTok video that's chyron reads, "These dads turned stroller walks into a powerful support group."

We see the words "Because fatherhood is better together," as Bridgewater continues: "We just started bonding, socializing and creating a community for dads. If we're able to share the knowledge that we receive and get the extra tools. That wasn't passed down to us. To not just be a better father—be a better husband, somebody better in the community."

Daddy Stroller Social Club (DSSC), their website makes clear, "was born out of a need for community. The vision was inspired by Eve Akins, a Dallas doula and her community of young mothers that get together on the weekends and uplift each other."

The key for DSSC is not only to bond with one another and to be better fathers and partners, but also to spread the word about this rather common mental affliction. "We are committed to de-stigmatizing paternal postpartum depression through community-building, advocacy, outreach, and storytelling. By amplifying the voices of fathers and promoting early intervention, we aim to create a space where fathers and father-figures can access communal support, education, and the wellness services they need in order to be functioning caretakers of their family unit."

The TikTok and Instagram comments—of which there are many—are incredibly supportive. One person writes, "This movement is powerful and priceless."

On an Instagram reel where the DSSC writes "Propaganda we're not falling for:" they list, in part, "Boys will be boys. Toxic masculinity. Gender roles. Rest equals laziness." A commenter writes, "This is great that you all are dismantling the myths, men go through their own postpartum journey! A lot of my clients are males going through difficulty adjusting to this new phase of life. Let’s continue to normalize this."

And one of the most exciting parts? What began in Dallas/Ft. Worth has now spread to chapters around the country. They're called "strides," and they are rolling out quickly—from Atlanta to Los Angeles to Philly and more.

It's concrete proof that just taking that (literal) first step can make positive change, not just for one person, but for an entire community.

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Family

A mom seeks doctor's help for postpartum depression and instead gets a visit from the cops

Too many women lose out on much needed support because of unwarranted stigma.

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Postpartum depression is very common, and treatable.

Jessica Porten recently visited her doctor four months after giving birth to her daughter, Kira. She wasn't feeling quite like herself.

She had been dealing with overwhelming sadness and fits of anger, which she knew was likely stemming from a case of postpartum depression.

In a Facebook post, Porten recounts the story of that appointment.

"I tell them I have a very strong support system at home, so although I would never hurt myself or my baby," she writes. "I’m having violent thoughts and I need medication and therapy to get through this."

In other words, she went to her doctor to ask for help for an extremely normal and treatable issue that affects an estimated 1 million women in the U.S. each year in one form or another.

But instead of getting help, as Porten tells it, the office did something pretty unexpected: They called the police.

Because of her admission to "violent thoughts," staff wanted the police to escort Porten to the ER for evaluation.

The cops, according to Porten, were skeptical of the need for their presence when they arrived and allowed her to drive herself to the hospital.

But the ordeal continued.

"We arrive at the ER and I’m checked in, triaged, blood drawn. I am assigned a security guard to babysit me," she writes.

She says she waited for over an hour to get a room, all while wrangling her months-old baby. After some brief tests, a lot of waiting, and a super-short interview with a social worker, she was deemed mentally fit enough to be discharged.

Porten and her 4-month-old didn't leave the hospital until after midnight.

The worst part? Porten never got the help she asked for.

depression

Postpartum depression is as serious as the stigma it carries

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In addition to the undue stress and wasted time, Porten left the hospital without having received any medical help whatsoever.

"Not once during all of this has a doctor laid eyes on me," she writes. "Not once. Not even before they decided to call the cops on me."

Porten says that, for all her time and effort, she received some papers and pamphlets and was sent on her way.

"I’m still processing all of the emotions that are coming with being treated this way. I’m not exactly sure what to do here. I will say I am deeply hurt and upset, and above all angry and disgusted and disappointed by how this whole thing went down."

She also points out that if she had been a woman of color, her ordeal probably would have been even more drawn out and traumatic.

Postpartum depression is a serious issue - as is the stigma it carries.

Postpartum depression is common. The condition, and even the scary violent thoughts that sometimes accompany it, may even have an important evolutionary purpose. Some argue that new moms are on high alert for danger and that stress can sometimes visually manifest itself in their thoughts.

But, as with most mental health issues, postpartum depression can carry a lot of shame, embarrassment, and guilt for the women affected by it — leading them to ignore their symptoms instead of seeking help. One study even found that countries that don't recognize postpartum depression by name actually see women more likely to come forward with their symptoms.

Stories like Porten's show exactly why many women would rather suffer in silence than be poked, prodded, and treated inhumanely. And of course, not getting proper treatment will only make things wore.

It's time for a different approach.

It may be a common policy to call the police in the interest of the child's safety. But a policy that better addresses the mother's concerns and gets her the help she needs, without being shamed, is definitely a better way to go.

To get there, we need to help more honest and brave women feel comfortable coming forward about the aspects of postpartum depression that are hard to talk about. And we all need to better educate ourselves on the complexities of mental health issues and, more importantly, the human beings behind them.

You can find a link to Porten's post on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1021317492...


This story originally appeared on 01.24.18


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Health

Woman 'triggered' by an attractive friend in a swimsuit asked her to cover up. Was she right?

The woman has body dysmorphia and got upset.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A woman in a white bikini relaxing in a pool.

A post on Reddit’s AITA subforum brought up a compelling debate about how people approach the mental health of others. As friends, coworkers and family members of people with mental health issues, how far is too far when it comes to accommodating their unique needs and requests?

It all started when a person with the username GlumDemand, 30, went with his girlfriend Alex, 27, to a friend’s pool party and barbecue. Also attending that party was their friend, Christine, 37, who had recently had a child and was struggling with postpartum depression. She hoped that attending the party would help to “lighten her mood.”

Postpartum depression happens to some women after giving birth and can cause mood swings, a loss of appetite, low energy and feelings of inadequacy. In severe cases, it can lead to major depression or postpartum psychosis.

In Christine’s situation, the depression led to a bad case of body dysmorphia. People with body dysmorphia become obsessed with the perceived flaws in their bodies and it can cause unbearable feelings of insecurity. This can happen to women after they give birth because of the tremendous changes in their bodies.

All this came to a head at the party when Christina became triggered after seeing Alex’s body in a swimsuit.

woman swimming, pool party, reddit

Woman swimming underwater

via PixaBay

“My girlfriend Alex … is a model/influencer, and as you can imagine she’s very beautiful, this is important,” GlumDemand wrote. “Everyone at the party is wearing some form of swimming gear, all of the guys are wearing trunks and tank tops or Hawaiian shirts, and the women are wearing bikinis or swimsuits. Alex stole the show. However, she didn’t wear anything too revealing or inappropriate, but it did turn heads.”

A mutual friend told GlumDemand that Christine was getting “upset” by Alex’s appearance and wanted to know if he could ask her to cover up a bit because it triggered her body dysmorphia.

“I was confused but I said okay, I talked to Alex and she said that while she understood she didn’t understand why she had to cover up for the sake of someone else’s feelings,” GlumDemand wrote. “Needless to say she didn’t do it.”

Two hours later, Christine left the party.

GlumDemand reached out to the Reddit AITA community to ask if he and Alex were in the wrong because she didn’t want to cover up. The responders overwhelmingly took their side in the situation.

“Having had PPD and BD, I sympathize. But I just avoided situations like this prior to therapy, and now have had enough therapy to deal. My mental health issues aren't my fault, but they're my responsibility,” Relevant-Ad6288 wrote.

“I love that line ‘my mental health issues aren't my fault, but they're my responsibility’ amazing, I hope it's ok to use it?” QuietlyFierce wrote in agreement.

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Three men having a good time at a pool party

via Ramiroa Pianarosa/Unsplash

A Reddit user by the name of a Colo-rectal surgeon posed a hypothetical. “If this were an issue where someone was uncomfortable because they found the appearance of someone else's body very unappealing, then asking them to cover up would be out of the question,” they wrote. “Someone shouldn't have to cover up because they look ‘too good.’”

Some thought that Christine was downright rude to put Alex in that position.

“It's already not ok for Christine to ask someone to change their clothes for her comfort; it's doubly wrong to make Alex feel like her body is the problem,” wrote lefrench75.

Few people thought the original poster and Alex were in the wrong. But those who did questioned whether they were good friends. “Would it have been that hard to cover up to help someone out?” Lord_Buff74 asked. “You don't have to, and you can choose to be vain and selfish.”

“I would never try to do anything that would upset someone I consider a friend. If you said ‘a stranger at a party,’ I would be like yeah, it's a little different, but a ‘close friend’? You might think it's okay, but you probably lost a friend over this,” Kyouji added.

It seems most people agree that even though body dysmorphia isn’t Christine’s fault, it’s her responsibility to manage her issues. It’s also unreasonable for her to ask others to change their appearance. Even though some questioned whether Alex was being considerate of Christine’s feelings, it’s also fair to say that Christine put her in a very uncomfortable position.

Situations surrounding mental illness can be uncomfortable. The problem probably could have been resolved more compassionately if Christine and Alex had the space to discuss their issues so that everyone's feelings were considered.

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Mental Health

Lindsay Clancy's case is shining a light on the condition of postpartum psychosis

Postpartum psychosis is a mental health emergency.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Lindsay Clancy's case is shining a light on postpartum psychosis

Ever since Lindsay Clancy was arrested for taking the lives of her three children before attempting to take her own, Jan. 2023, the reality of postpartum psychosis has been thrust into mainstream media. Before Clancy's lawyers cited the postpartum condition as the main contributing factor into her unthinkable act, psychosis didn't seem to be on many people's radar as a response to giving birth.

Psychosis isn't something that only involves seeing or hearing things that aren't there, it's a collective list of symptoms. Some of the symptoms outside of visual and auditory hallucinations is, delusional thinking, paranoia, belief of your thoughts being broadcasted, aggression, disorganized speech, and many more.

But just because someone is experiencing psychosis doesn't mean they're experiencing all of the symptoms and most people that are in a psychotic episode are too disorganized to carry out any meaningful thought out plan. As a therapist that specializes in psychotic disorders, it's tragic to see that the disorder may have contributed to the deaths of Clancy's children and I also recognize this particular case is acting as a springboard for an important dialogue.


Since this case has hit the news cycle, moms on TikTok are sharing their own experiences with postpartum psychosis and the hashtag #postpartumpsychosis has over 66 million views. Video after video show moms talking about how psychosis presented for them while others are explaining their experience with postpartum depression or anxiety.

Kelsi Ullom is one of the moms that shared her experience in hopes to help other parents recognize the symptoms for themselves or their partners. In her video that has nearly 900K views, Ullom explains that even though she had been experiencing hallucinations, delusions and other psychotic symptoms, she didn't tell anyone because due to fear of someone taking her baby away.

@kelsipartyof7

Lindsay Clancy story / postpartum anxiety #lindsayclancy #postpartumdepresssion #postpartumanxiety #ppdawareness #greenscreen

Ullom's fear is not unique. Many people that experience the extreme end of postpartum mental health issues are afraid to tell their health care providers due to fear of their child being removed from their care. I was a trained mental health professional when I had my last child and vividly remember tearfully telling my midwife that I was afraid to inform her of how bad my postpartum anxiety had gotten for that very reason.

The stigma around mental health issues and one's ability to care for themselves, let alone care for their children isn't new. We've seen the conversation play out publicly when a celebrity parent has a mental health crisis. But when it comes to postpartum mental health disorders, seeking professional help is imperative in many instances, especially with psychosis.

With how extreme postpartum psychosis can be, waiting for a far off appointment isn't the best plan because it is considered a crisis that requires immediate attention. Yet, due to the nature of psychosis, most people experiencing it have no idea they're in the midst of psychosis because their thought processes are distorted by delusions. This is why it's important for partners to be able to recognize the signs.

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Psychosis is rare after giving birth and isn't currently recognized as an official postpartum condition, though it does happen. Psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Hatters-Friedman told Insider that symptoms of postpartum psychosis start suddenly within the first days or weeks after someone gives birth. She goes on to tell the outlet that the longer psychosis is left untreated that the likelihood is higher for the person to die by suicide or take the life of their children.What makes postpartum conditions so unique and separate them from other mental health conditions, is that the focus is generally around the child or yourself. So instead of a delusion about the FBI bugging your home, your brain may tell you that your husband plotting to kill your baby.But with a delusion, your brain doesn't hop to the logical likelihood. Instead it could make you think that in order to not know the pain of living without your baby that you should walk into traffic with your baby so neither of you live without each other.

Brains are powerful and psychosis isn't so cut and dry. You don't think in a way that would make sense if you spoke it out loud and delusions are so strong that you can't be convinced that they're incorrect no matter what evidence you have to the contrary.

When trying to explain what psychosis was like to my husband after returning home from having to hospitalize a client, I told him to imagine that his mom just walked in the room and asked him who he was talking to. He looked confused and said, "but she would see you," so I followed up with, "would she? If she told you she didn't see anyone and she began to look concerned, how would you feel?" Ultimately, just that quick exchange gave him a small glimpse into the fear, confusion and frustration psychosis could cause.

@kristinadulaney

My postpartum psychosis story #postpartumpsychosis #lindsayclancy #ppp #pppawareness #newmom #maternalhealth #postpartum #postpartumdepresssion

It's not an easy condition and when you throw in hormones readjusting and caring for a newborn on top of it all, it seems quite cruel that there isn't more education around the possibility. Hopefully, with the increased conversation around postpartum psychosis due to the sad tragedy of the Clancy children, new parents and medical providers alike will be more aware of the signs.

Symptoms of postpartum psychosis is a mental health emergency and needs immediate intervention from professionals.

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