Donal Schaefer's message is making so many SAHMS feel seen.
"Being a stay-at-home parent isn't a job! How hard is it to hang out with the baby all day?" Ever heard that one? Hopefully, you're hearing it less and less these days as people realize that "hanging out with the kids" is actually extremely difficult.
Stay-at-home moms work round the clock performing myriad duties, both physically and emotionally demanding, all for zero compensation. Not only does the job not pay (some studies show the value of the labor itself is worth nearly $160,000 per year), it doesn't usually come with a whole lot of respect or prestige. Even more dismaying than the lack of monetary gain is the lack of recognition these full-time moms get for what they accomplish day in and day out.
That’s where Donald Schaefer comes in. Schaefer, a man who seems to be upwards of 80 and living in Florida, is a bit of an unexpected influencer in the mom corner of social media.
Stay-at-home moms trying to find a second to themselves to send an email. Giphy
But nonetheless, his Instagram and TikTok are full of videos meant to offer financial tips, recipe ideas and emotional support specifically for this demographic. He helps stay-at-home moms work on side hustles and at-home businesses to supplement their income, you know, the one that they're not getting for all the hard work they're doing.
One video in particular is making stay-at-home moms, aka SAHMs, feel so seen.
In his “special message to stay-at-home moms,” Schaefer offers SAHMS the rare gift of being told what an “incredible job” they’re doing, saying that their “dedication, hard work and love are the cornerstones of your family’s well being.”
Watching his daughters and granddaughters with kids, Schaefer says that he’s “amazed” at what accomplished every day, and because of that, he was inspired to remind all SAHMS that “what you’re doing matters immensely.”
“Sometimes in the midst of the chaos of daily routines and endless chores it’s easy to forget how important your role is, but every meal cooked, every scraped knee kissed, every bedtime story read, it all adds up to shaping the future generation,” he said.
@magicman1942 Special message for the stay at home moms. #stayathomemom #personalgrowth #inspiration #stayathomemomstruggle #workingmom #personal
Schaefer went on to say that it’s “perfectly normal” to get overwhelmed or exhausted with all the responsibilities and isolation that come with the job. That’s what makes self care so necessary.
The isolation, in particular, can be a doozy. Many stay-at-home moms work incredibly hard to maintain a network of other parents with whom to plan play dates, lunches, and other social or kid-centric outings. Without just that little of bit of human connection, almost anyone would crumble to pieces.
“Whether it’s stealing a few moments for yourself during nap time, indulging in a hobby you love, or simply just taking a relaxing bath at the end of the day if you can find the time. Prioritize your well being,” he urged.
He then encouraged SAHMs to carve out moments to celebrate the small victories and appreciate the joys of motherhood, whether that looks like “a successful day of homeschooling” or “simply seeing your little one smile.”
Finally, Schaefer brought it all home by reiterating that even if it doesn't always feel like it, a SAHM’s value is “immeasurable.”
“Trust me. You are the heart and soul of your family and your efforts create a warm and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. Keep shining your light and know that you are appreciated, loved and admired more than you’ll ever know. You’re doing an amazing job, and the world is a better place because of you,” he concluded.
Understandably, viewers were moved. Over a million people watched the video and hundreds chimed in with their appreciation for the message.
Being a SAHM mom isn't all snuggles and kisses. But it's nice to remember to enjoy those moments when they do come. Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
“Made me tear up!! What man takes the time to encourage moms? None I’ve known. Thank you,” one person wrote.
“This definitely made me cry,” another echoed. “Thank you for such kind words and taking the time to make this video. It touched my heart so much.”
One commented, “I’m not even a SAHM, and I still felt this! ALL moms can relate I think…thank you sir!”
And still, another simply wrote, “Needed this.”
Moms, and stay-at-home moms, are fierce about their community and support for one another. They're quick to lift each other up, lend a helping hand, and heap words of praise on one another. But sometimes they need encouragement from outside their little tribe.
In Schaefer, here's a guy who's been around for a long time and seen it all. In his 80-plus years of wisdom, it speaks volumes that his appreciation for the hard work and sacrifice of stay-at-home moms has only grown.
For every SAHM (or any stay-at-home parent, for that matter) may these kind words help bolster your spirit, and remind you that what you do is important indeed. You deserve that, and so much more. The good news is that the world at large is starting to realize it, too.
For more of Schaefer's content, find him on Instagram and TikTok.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
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