upworthy

good people

Culture

Philosophy expert shares the 'simple but profound rule' to tell if someone is a good or bad person

It comes down to a specific type of kindness.

via Canva/Photos and G.Meiners/Wikimedia Commons

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and a scene at a restaurant.

Have you ever met somebody new and wondered if they were a good person with a mischievous streak or a bad person who can turn on the charm and behave occasionally? Determining someone’s true moral character is important, especially if you start dating them or have a business relationship. It is crucial to get to the core of who they are and know whether they can be trusted.

Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared a great way to determine whether someone is good or bad. His rubric for judging someone’s moral character comes from a quote commonly attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet, playwright, novelist, and intellectual known for works like Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

How can you tell if someone is a good or a bad person?

“Here's a pretty good indicator that somebody is a bad person and vice versa, how you can spot a good one. And this goes back to a simple rule, a moral aphorism by Goethe in which he writes, ‘Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,’” de Medeiros shared in a TikTok video with over 45,000 views.

“Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

@julianphilosophy

Good vs. bad #good #bad #wisdom

De Medeiros then provided real-world ways to determine whether the person you have questions about is good or bad. “A bad person is unfriendly to strangers, to the elderly, to children, to service staff, to anybody they're not trying to impress,” he said. At the same time, the good person treats people equally, no matter what they can do for him. They’re good for goodness sake, not to get anything out of it.

“A good person carries grace within them and shares it freely with abundance. A good person treats other people as they would like to be treated as well. And it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what your status is, they will treat you and see you as their equal,” de Medeiros said.

What is 'The Waiter Rule'?

Goethe’s quote echoes the common red/green flag test that many people have on dates. Sure, it's important if your date is courteous and treats you well on the date, but you really want to watch how they interact with the server. The rule is often called “The Waiter Rule,” outlined by William Swanson. Swanson, the former chairman and CEO of Raytheon Company, wrote in his book, 33 Unwritten Rules of Management, "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter—or to others—is not a nice person." Boxer Muhammad Ali is also known for saying something similar: "I don't trust anyone who's nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position."

Rudeness toward the waitstaff also indicates that the person isn’t very smart. It’s not wise to be rude to someone who is in charge of your meal for the night.

Conversely, a good person is kind to others without looking for anything in return because they want to spread joy and believe that others deserve respect. You are what you do, not what you think or believe, and when someone treats others with goodness, it's a clear indicator of the type of person they are.

In the end, we are all a mixed bag of behaviors and attitudes, and even the most perfect of us has a devil on their shoulder telling them that it’s okay to occasionally get into a bit of mischief. However, when it comes down to determining someone's core character, how they treat those who can do nothing for them says everything.

This article originally appeared in April.

From Your Site Articles
philosophy
CultureJoy
Joy

Wholesome exchange between a Black woman and a white man is giving people faith in humanity

A woman named Jo'lee Shine expected the worst when a white man approached her overheated vehicle, but his kindness brought her to tears.

@realbillygotti/Instagram

We need more moments like these.

Of course, racism and hatred are very real issues, and ones that we must discuss in order to make progress. But with all the coverage of people behaving badly flooding our awareness through the media and online, it can be easy to write-off humanity entirely. To believe that the world is inherently a divisive, dangerous and ultimately declining place to live. When in reality, not everything is so bleak.

That’s what makes sharing this story so important.

A Black woman named Jo'lee Shine was stuck in her overheated car in front of a stranger's house, waiting for a tow truck to arrive.

When a white man, the homeowner, began approaching her, Jo'lee immediately started recording the interaction. And thank goodness she did, because this was a moment worth immortalizing.

“I'm so sorry, my car ran hot,” she says in the clip, and begins trying to start the car to prove her situation.

And then, in the sweetest southern accent you ever heard, we hear “don’t try to crank it baby.”

When then hear him offer to put water in the car, made sure Jo'lee had coming to pick her up, and then…wait for it…asked if she wanted lunch.

"We’ll be eating lunch shortly. While we wait on [the tow truck] if we get everything set up I’ll come get you and we’ll have dinner,” he says.

This brings Jo’lee to instant tears. “That was so sweet,” she whimpers.

With a chuckle, the man replies, “that’s the way we are.” he then shared how he just had 22 people over at his house the night before for “a family gathering.”

Jo’lee declines the lunch offer, but profusely thanks the kind stranger as she wipes the tears that continue to fall. Just before he goes, the man says that he’ll check back in, joking that the tow truck “might be delayed” and she might change her mind.

In her caption, Jo’lee wrote, “I wasn’t going to post this, but I wanted people to know that they’re still good people in this world.”

Seems like that mission was accomplished. The video, which has gotten over 176,000 likes on Instagram, gave everyone a little dose of hope. Just take a look at some of these lovely comments:

“This is who we are...it sucks that movies have put fear in people to that level. That makes me sad that there's fear and division keeping us all from sharing love that I KNOW is in all of us.”

“The media works to divide us, don't believe their lies. We love all people.. God Bless.”

"I'll come get you when we get dinner on the table?!!" ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🔥🔥🔥🔥🙌🙌”

“The way he called you baby without a mean tone in his soul.”

“This renews my faith in humanity. He tried to help her without any thought of race.”

“Just when we think humanity has died, this happens ♥️. Human kindness for the win.”

Indeed, the world has its’ Karens…and even worse characters. But it also has people who invite strangers to dinner, just because it’s a nice thing to do…because it’s the “way they are.” It’s the way a lot of us are, when we let ourselves be.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
best of humanity
JoyHeroes
Popular

People share the most beautiful thing someone's done for them and it's a balm for the soul

From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to loved ones stepping up for one another, this is the best of humanity in action.

Photo by Anna Tarazevich/YouTube, Screenshot comments from Upworthy/Instagram

We all can use reminders of the good in people.

News headlines have always skewed negative—"If it bleeds, it leads" is a saying for a reason—but combine the news with a contentious election year and the polarization we so often find on social media and the world can feel rather disheartening.

What we focus on is what we see, however, and if we want to see the good in the world, that's what we have to look at. Part of our mission here at Upworthy is to demonstrate that people are a force for good, and nowhere is that clearer than in the stories our audience shares with us.

We asked our readers, "What's the most beautiful thing someone has done for you?" and the responses are a needed reminder of what's wonderful about people. From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to family and community stepping up in the most inspiring ways, here are some examples of humans choosing kindness, thoughtfulness and selflessness to make one another's lives a little better.

"My very attentive GYN doctor kept me much longer at an appointment than it should’ve been. She did not want me to leave the room, being I expressed the verbal and manipulative abuse I was getting from my husband. She gave me a counseling session that I have no words to describe how it helped me."

"When I was going through cancer treatment, and too sick and tired from the chemotherapy to leave the house or be on my feet for very long, my boyfriend (now husband) would take me out and drive all day through various scenic places just so I could see things, feel the wind and smell the air with the windows down. It pulled me out of a very dark hole a few times and gave me the will to keep going!"

"My best friend took me in when my life was falling apart and encouraged me every day that I would survive. She fed me when I was too depressed to eat, she let me bring my cat ( and she was not a cat person) because she knew I needed him for comfort. My husband had cheated on me , my mom was dying and I made it through several months with her until I finally found the courage to stand up on my own again because of her constant faith in me . Her acts of kindness , compassion and love were gestures of beauty from her heart to mine ❤️"

"As a poor college student majoring in music, I sold my piano to pay tuition. My brother bought it back and gave it to me for Christmas that year. My daughter has that piano now."

"My 12 step sponsor. We had never met the day I asked her to sponsor me. We met at her house every Monday for 15 months. She brought me through the 12 steps and helped me learn to love myself, to forgive others, to make amends for my harms done and to be in service. I'm 7 yrs sober and happier than I ever imagined I could be. ❤️" "I once saw a man who looked exactly like my ex partner who’d passed away. It was shocking but also felt so surreal like he was standing in front of me again. I was crying so much but I asked that random stranger for a hug after explaining why. We stood hugging for a long time. It felt like the hug I never got to have. It was so kind of him. 💔 "

"When I had cancer, a lot of friends got together, unbeknownst to me, and folded 1,000 paper cranes. They signed and put kind words side them. Then they gave them to me at a party. I was blown away. They are now hanging in my house as art."

"Mentor me! I grew up in poverty in an unsavory environment. Throughout my life I was presented with wonderful mentors, in addition to the wonderful mother I have present in my life , who pushed me be the best version of myself in the world so that I didn’t have to be a statistic of my environment. Here I am, a happy and thriving man in life because of that attention."

"Probably the elderly couple who took me in as a grandkid adoptee when I was experiencing a lot of chaos and neglect in my family. I spent weeks at their house during the Summer for years and years, starting around age 4. They cooked me good food and sewed me clothes. They had professional photos taken of me for their mantelpiece. I thought they were my actual Grandparents."

"After deciding to leave an abusive marriage with my two small children in tow (ages 2 and 5), my best friend and some of her friends that I did not know packed my apartment, moved all our stuff, AND UNPACKED IT! We got to our new place and it looked like home. I will never forget this act of kindness. It was 18 years ago."

"I had just had my son and had a tough day. My coworker and friend who lived over 4.5 hours away was on the phone with me and could hear I was struggling. This beautiful human offered to drive down here, through LA traffic,to help over the weekend so that I could take care of me. I didn’t take her up on it, but that sheer act of kindness has stuck with me and I tell the story often. My son will be 15 and in high school in a few months and the thought of her complete selfless offer still brings me to tears."

"I had a panic attack outside a shopping centre, and 2 teenage girls saw me upset, came over and offered to get me water and gave me a big hug. Changed my day completely."

"My husband, who stayed by my side through my sickness. He put aside his desire to become a father, because he chose *me* as a partner above all. Throughout my endometriosis journey, 3 surgeries, and the 5 IVFs we had he stood by my side and supported me. We were blessed enough to become parents after all, after 7 rough years, but he would have stayed with me even if that hadn't happened. ❤️"

"When my 7-year old niece was dying, I was in charge of arranging my other siblings’ travel so we could all be with my niece (and my sister, her mom) to say goodbye. I was pregnant, distraught, and barely functioning. Any other time, searching up airfare and making travel arrangements would have been a snap, which is why I was assigned the job. My neighbor stopped by and found me sobbing on the floor. She calmly took over — called my all my family members, none of whom she knew, and arranged travel for strangers while I returned to the hospital. It seems small but when someone does a task for you when you are most in need, it’s gigantic. I will never forget the relief she brought me, and the time she gave me with my niece. Her kindness is inextricably linked to my grief, a bright light in all that darkness."

"My SIL made a freezer full of meals (maybe 25+ meals, desserts and snacks) for me when I was pregnant with my second. I didn’t have to cook for probably 2 months after we brought our baby girl home 🥹"

"Snuck my puppy into the hospital to visit me. Like she went full on incognito mode and put my puppy in a crate, covered it with a blanket and wheeled him in my room. The nurses considered it good medicine and looked the other way. It was in fact good medicine. I was in that bed for 3 weeks. It was and still is one of the most beautiful and special things anyone has ever done for me."

"My disabled son swims in the pool at the gym with a personal trainer. We pay ahead of time for half hour units. But for some reason his month is already paid for. Every month. I don’t know who does this but I’m so grateful."

"I was struggling with depression and basic functioning during my divorce.. finances were unbelievably tight..my kids & I took a train to visit my parents and left house keys with a friend so they could feed cats. When we returned, our house was stocked with food in pantry and fridge, even frozen meals to thaw..pads and tampons in the bathroom.. and a new oven. We had been cooking out of a toaster oven for a year because ours was broken & old and I couldn’t afford a replacement. 🥹"

"When I left my abuser I had a four year old and a four month old. We left with two backpacks and a handful of special items. I was so terrified to start over. A friend of mine posted on Facebook asking for resources to help me furnish my new condo and the post blew up. Strangers from all over my city came and brought blankets, dishes, furniture and a beautiful crib for my daughter. There was not a single item that I needed to purchase on my own. All I could do is cry and thank them all for their kindness. I had nothing to give in return except sheer gratitude. Some drove to me to drop off items and share their stories of survival with me. I remember feeling so awful when I left, doubting if I could stay gone and if I’d be able rebuild my life, but I did. Those people helped me to stand on my feet and gave me hope to help me find my voice again."

"I was bartending at a hotel in Bloomington Indiana where I went to College. I kept myself busy during the slow daytime hours, rug hooking, crafting a gift for my mother. A stranger traveling through town for business (Otis Elevators) sat at the bar for a beer after lunch. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was making a rug for my mother. Because my family is in St. Louis. He asked why I was still here since school was out. I told him I needed to make money so I stayed at this job. He asked if I go home often I said, not enough. It’s too expensive. We chatted for a while and I remember he was kind and 'fatherly' - not at all like the other men who had other things in mind.

The next evening when I came to work there was an envelope with my first name on it. Inside was a one-way ticket to St. Louis and a note that said, “go home and see your mom. “ I will never ever forget that man and how he made me feel. And yes, I went home for an extra hug from my mom. ❤️"

"When I was a kid in 9th grade, my teacher believed me when I told her I was being abused at home. She was the first adult to ever show concern. I think about Ms. Oliver every day. I just needed one person to help me."

"I live in Sacramento and l many years ago I had my purse stolen which is completely devastating. This was before cell phones and the phone book with all of my friends numbers were in it. A few months after it happened a package came in the mail, the return address was just a general San Francisco Post Office address. Inside the package was a number of things from my purse including my driver's license, my phone book, and some other things (some that weren't mine). There was a note inside with some misspellings and grammar errors, that said something along the lines of, I was hitchhiking and found some things on the side of the highway that looked like they were important, so I scrounged some money to send them to you. I think there was a signature, but there wasn't an address for me to send a thank you. This was a true act of selfless kindness, and I still appreciate it to this day."

"I have a facial deformity and I was bullied through elementary and high school and a bit in college. People stare at me, even today, rather than speaking to me as if I am a human being. This history has given me extremely low self esteem. I am 60 years old, but, for this reason, I don’t leave my house unless I absolutely have to (I am fortunate enough to work from home). One day, I was walking through Walmart, looking down, as I usually do, because I don’t like people staring at me, and a man, who must have sensed my unease, walked up to me and told me I was beautiful and to hold my head up and walk proud. It brought tears to my eyes and this random man hugged me - like a 'real' strong hug that a person who cares would give. It made my MONTH! I have no idea who he was, but I will love him forever. You always remember the way people make you feel."

If you loved these stories and want to read more like it, our book, "GOOD PEOPLE: Stories from the Best of Humanity" is available for pre-order now. Find it here.
From Your Site Articles
best of humanity
Joy

These 6 professions are known for having the 'coolest, most honest, most together' people

Park rangers, for one.

Photos by Eddson Lens (left) and Big Bag Films (right)

Librarians and bass guitar players were both mentioned as "good people" professions.

Have you ever noticed that the majority of people in certain jobs seem to be a bit nicer that most other people? More solid? More honest? A little more high-level humans overall?

While there's a wide range of personal diversity in every profession, there are some careers that seem to either attract or produce exceptional people. Exceptions to the exceptional exist, of course, but there are some jobs that people are calling out—with many people in agreement—as having the "coolest, most honest, most together people."

Park Rangers

People who care about nature, protect our public lands and help educate the public about good stewardship? Not surprising that Reddit users would call those folks solid human beings.

"Park rangers are some of the coolest, most genuine people you'll meet. They care deeply about nature, are always willing to help visitors, and have fascinating stories about the wildlife and landscapes they protect." – Sexy-Ass18

"Seconded. First thing I ever wanted to be was a park ranger, because the ones I knew were just the coolest." – belligerentoptimist

"Can confirm all of this. One of my best friends from high school is a LEO ranger and actually now in a fairly major role at Yellowstone. She is seriously the coolest individual, absolutely one of the best humans ever. She went to school for wildlife education or something like that, but has gone to FLETC training and basically ran the internal prison at Yellowstone for a while. She is one of the most badass people I know. She told me once that they have millions of visitors per year. All of those visitors bring all of their problems (domestic abuse, drugs, alcoholism, theft, etc) to the parks with them, so.... the park had a prison for holding people until they could be turned over to other law enforcement. They also had particular people who would deal with visitors who died in the park, including liaising with families, helping arrange to get remains returned home, etc. And that happened regularly. Apparently national parks are a major suicide destination, which is incredibly hard on the rangers who have to deal with it. She told me stories about deaths at the Grand Canyon when she was there.... It was exactly as bad as you imagine it would be to deal with suicides at the Grand Canyon. They do not leave them there, so.... Yeah. And people have to clean it up. It's absolutely insane all that goes on in the major parks that nobody thinks about." – SpectrumDiva

"One of my college friends is a park ranger. He's just the coolest guy. Always feel lucky when we get to hang out, get our kids all mixed up.

That being said, he's raising fearless heathens. One picked up a snake and was like "it's ok, we have the antidote in the truck." while waving it at my poor, defenseless city kids. They just ran away haha. Park ranger friend made his kid put the snake back and gave him an earful about not harassing wildlife and city people." – ButtWhispererer

Librarians

Lots of love for librarians out there.

"Honestly, from my anecdotal experience...librarians. Smart, consistently know how to deal with the greater public, great resources of knowledge, and live for the truth." – SirVeritas79

"I have always loved the way they talk to me when I have a question. I never feel stupid or bad for asking. They really are a 'people person.'" – SillyGayBoy

"YES! Agree! My wife and I have a couple of friends who are librarians and they are probably some of the smartest, most patient and kind people we know. And none of them are 280 years old, which used to be the stereotype I had of librarians because that was all I ever saw growing up. One of those friends is married to a childhood buddy of mine - they are both in their late 40s - been together since their 20s. When they first met I was shocked that someone so young was a librarian lol but also thought it was awesome. I’ve told them both many times that they can’t ever get divorced because we are keeping both of them ha ha

"Seriously though librarians are community treasures and a way underrated profession. 💯" – Intrepid_Detective

"I worked at as a children's librarian assistant for 3 years. It was awesome. People there were so chill, easy to get along with. Best office environment ever. Good stable government job, no need to constantly apply for grants or hustle. And knowledge all around." – kathmhughes

"As a librarian, I've often remarked that the best part of the profession is other librarians." – thatbob

Bass Players

"Bass players in a jazz band...best job in the world I might add." – myobservationonly

"Bass players in general honestly. Which is a tough thing to admit as a guitarist." – tintedwithrose

"As a pianist who usually plays right next to them...agreed. Bassists are my homies." – Casul_Tryhard

"As a drummer I totally agree. My bass player is probably the most talented member of our band, but he'd rather put everyone else in the spotlight. Also, even though he's super frugal he will gladly pay for dinner and drinks and buy us tickets to shows. He's a great guy and I'm really proud to say he's my friend." – Childish_Calrissian

"Most of the bassists I've met are kind, selfless people. I think there's something about the role of the instrument itself that attracts the kind of people who enjoy holding it all together without needing the attention and adulation that comes with it.

Of course, being a bassist myself, this could be complete bias lol." – the_alt_fright

"Singer here. It’s true. Every bass player I’ve played with is an exceptional human. My wife is one and she’s my rock. The bassist I played with on Saturday has his own non-profit for homeless outreach. My main bass player makes incredible falafel wraps when we carpool, with sourdough pita from scratch." – cha-do


Toll Booth Operators (but only in certain places, apparently)

Oddly enough, some toll booth operators in certain countries and specific places in the U.S. got a shout-out for being utterly delightful.

"In Japan, for some inexplicable reason, tollbooth operators. Everytime I take the freeway, those people are the friendliest, cheeriest, just overall nice people I meet in a month. Zero clue why." – festoon_the_dragoon

"It's actually the same here in Ireland. Always wondered why but they are super friendly every time you go through." – 5Ben5

"The toll booth operators on the Mackinaw Bridge are all super nice." – HalfaYooper

"I’ve actually had pretty positive experiences for the most part while using tolls in the northeast US! Pretty shockingly friendly people. To the point where my partner and I were like, 'how do you think they stay so cheery while literally sitting in the middle of a highway for hours on end?'" – Outandabout2023

"A few weeks ago I was driving to Topeka, KS and the toll booth operator was so friendly and asked me if I was doing anything fun in Topeka while I was there. I told her I was just picking up a movie from Vintage Stock but she was so friendly and the best part of my mini road trip from KC. I’ve actually never had an unfriendly Kansas toll booth experience." – i_n_c_r_y_p_t_o

Geologists

"Every geologist I ever met has been a pretty interesting, humble and enjoyable person to be around. Somebody who works in the field will probably reply back and disagree, lol." – LittleKitty235

"My father was a geologist, in the 70s he quit working for (major US oilco) because they wanted him to falsify data. So, yeah, they're honest. My dad told me once that it was one of the most romantic of the sciences...it wasn't the study of rocks but of how planets are formed, and therefore life. I so miss him." – WorldBiker

"Came here to say Geologist and surprised to see it near the top. We are awesome haha!" – Latchkey_Wizzard

These responses also prompted a flood of geologist puns, which pretty much rocked:

"They probably had a good foundation growing up."

"Agreed. Very down to earth and grounded in reality."

"I think they just don't try to find faults in people."

"They're good at digging beneath the crust of a person and seeing what's on the inside.'

"Generally speaking, rock solid people."

"They focus on having good mantle health."

"At their core, they accept the fluid nature of existence."

"They’re really gneiss, and don’t take friendship for granite."

"They’re truly sedimental people."

"There has to be one or two who are full of schist though, right?"

"I bet they dig these comments!"

Local Beat Newspaper Reporters

"Print reporters who’ve covered the same community their whole lives are pretty amazing people. People like to glom together all media, but reporters with a civic drive are some of the most curious and honest people I’ve ever spent time around. If you want people who really want to get to the bottom of a story and operate from facts/evidence, these are people to pay attention to. We owe a lot of what we actually know for sure in society to the labor local reporters." – SenorSplashdamage

"Very true, but they're all nearing extinction. The ones I know are just struggling to make it to retirement.

I've been a media guy for nearly four decades. Print reporters are good people." – Lincoln_Park_Pirate

"My uncle was a reporter in the Twin Cities his entire career. He wrote for the paper and local magazine. Extremely interesting guy who has a story about everything and seems to know the history of every patch of land and building in the area." – evilhomer3k

"I live in a small-ish town (about 15,000 residents). For years, we had a local paper, but it eventually went under as it was not profitable as the world moved more toward internet news. So, for a few years, we had nothing. Then, a guy who didn't even live in the town (but it was where he grew up) started an "online newspaper" and covered everything that went on (good and bad) pretty much as a labor of love and in addition to his job as a reporter at one of the much larger local papers. He makes a little bit of money from banner ads and sponsored ads, but that pretty much only covers his costs. However, he spends his time covering things in town, interviewing people, going to meetings, writing obituaries, etc. Plus, of late, he has taken some high school and college students under his wing and sent them out to report on some things in town. He is not obligated to do ANY of it - he's not profiting from it in any way, it is of no advantage to him, but he does it anyway... That speaks volumes about his character to me." – Madeline73

The human family is full of all kinds of people with a virtually endless array of personalities, characteristics, qualities and interests. But some simply stand out for their awesomeness and congregate in certain jobs, so here's to the park rangers, librarians, bass players and others who have earned a reputation for being solid human beings we can all appreciate.

good people
JoyCommunity
Trending Stories