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coffee

Pop Culture

Bach wrote a whole song about a woman obsessed with coffee. It's delightfully relatable.

Bach's "Coffee Cantata" lyrics are a hilarious argument between a highly caffeinated young woman and her father trying to get her to quit her coffee habit.

Public Domain (left) Photo by Hunter Newton on Unsplash (right)

Bach's 300-year-old Coffee Cantata feels surprisingly modern.

When you think of Johann Sebastian Bach , you might picture a bewigged man in tailcoats composing classical symphonies and concertos frequently associated with high-falutin' society. At the very least, you probably don't picture a comedian.

But "the father of classical music" had a silly side, and it came out in full force in his nearly 300-year-old "Coffee Cantata" (aka "Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht," or "Keep quiet, don’t chatter."). In the "Coffee Cantata," the voices we hear are a narrator who opens and closes the scene, a father (Herr Schlendrian) who has an issue with coffee-drinking women and Liesgen, his highly caffeinated daughter who is willing to give up anything for a cup o' Joe.

For context, coffee was extremely popular in 18th-century Europe, with some people sanctimoniously thinking it was a bad habit that needed to be broken (hence the dispute between this father and his coffee-obsessed daughter). But anyone who loves coffee will appreciate Liesgen's dedication to—and subversive deception to get—her three cups of java a day.

Witness and enjoy how the lyrics of Bach's "Coffee Cantata" translate to English :

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Eight months into the pandemic, you'd think people would have the basics figured out. Sure, there was some confusion in the beginning as to whether or not masks were going to help, but that was months ago (which might as well be years in pandemic time). Plenty of studies have shown that face masks are an effective way to limit the spread of the virus and public health officials say universal masking is one of the keys to being able to safely resume some normal activities.

Normal activities include things like getting a coffee at Starbucks, but a viral video of a barista's encounter with an anti-masker shows why the U.S. will likely be living in the worst of both worlds—massive spread and economic woe—for the foreseeable future.

Alex Beckom works at a Starbucks in Santee, California and shared a video taken after a woman pulled down her "Trump 2020" mask to ask the 19-year-old barista a question, pulled it back up when the barista asked her to, then pulled it down again.

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While the nation alternately reels and relishes in the political upheavals of yesterday's elections, America's largest coffee chain is dropping a little simple joy into our day. Hallelujah.

Starbucks has just revealed its annual holiday cup designs —a seemingly benign move that has resulted in several silly controversies in years past . (Who knew that a simple red cup could piss people off so badly?) This year, the reusable red cup includes a cute, celebratory "MERRY COFFEE" design, which will still undoubtedly get under some people's skin. ( "Why doesn't it say 'Merry CHRISTMAS?!?!' Oh, the blasphemy!!!" )

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When two black men were unjustly arrested while sitting in a Philadelphia Starbucks, Americans were rightfully outraged .

After weeks of lackluster public statements and an increasingly infuriated public, Starbucks announced it would close 8,000 of its stores for racial-bias training on May 29.

Starbucks will have to grapple with its missteps over time. But as the mega corporation begins what is hopefully a first step toward establishing a more inclusive and welcoming business, thousands of Americans still need a good flat white to kick off their day.

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