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After a woman was shamed by her nurse over her sexual history, she shared her story to help protect other vulnerable women

After a woman was shamed by her nurse over her sexual history, she shared her story to help protect other vulnerable women

In today's installment of the perils of being a woman, a 21-year-old woman shared her experience being "slut-shamed" by her nurse practitioner during a visit to urgent care for an STD check.

The woman recently had sex with someone she had only just met, and it was her first time hooking up with someone she had not "developed deep connections with."


Since this was her first ever one-night-stand, when she noticed some worrisome symptoms in her nether-regions (sorry for writing nether-regions, now twice), she got concerned.

I've [F21] recently encountered a new sexual partner. We used a condom, but after words I felt a little uneasy as to this was the first time I have ever hooked up with someone I just met. My previous sexual partners have all been someone I have developed deep connections with in some kind of way. While condoms greatly reduce the chance of contracting a STI, it cannot provide ABSOLUTE protection. A few days ago, I noticed my discharge changed to a white substance that's different from my normal discharge and the first thing that came to my head was an STD. I have never had one before and I have no idea the symptoms, but an STD was all I could think about.

So she decided to go to urgent care to find out what was up.

At the clinic, her nurse practitioner asked her a series of questions about her sexual history, which she answered honestly.

I went to an urgent care because I wanted to see if there was maybe a simpler answer to this problem (yeast infection or UTI) and if not, I wanted to send my urine off for an STD screening. My doctor asked me a series of questions (when did you become sexually active, when was your last sexual partner, how many sexual partners, etc.) , all of which I was up front and honest about so she could better treat me.

The woman was diagnosed with a yeast infection and scheduled for an STD test, but then just as she was leaving, things got really, really uncomfortable.

The nurse practitioner called her back in to the office and then proceeded to lecture her for her sexual choices, instructing her to "guard and protect her character." WTF?!

It came time for her to make a diagnosis and tell me the best course of action. She says based on my symptoms, I am showing hallmark signs of a yeast infection, but she will send my urine off for a culture and STD screen along with a swob from my vagina so she can tell what type of yeast is growing down there.
As I'm about to get my keys and stand up to walk out, she says "Dear, will you sit down for just another moment." I sat back down and looked up at her, curious as to what she wanted to talk about. "With all of that being said, you're 21 years old, you really need to guard and protect your character,". I looked at her like "what the fuck" and she continued "well you know, guys get to have sex all they want and nothing bad comes out of it for them but you know us as women we can't be doing that as much because we have to protect our character,". At this point, I was pretty fucking angry. You could tell by my silence and the way my lips were pressed together. I thought that maybe it couldn't get any worse, then she proceeded to say "you're going to want to have kids one day, and the way you're living your life now could really hurt you and your chances of having a kid with a good man,".


The woman, understandably, was furious and wants to report the nurse practicioner to HR for her unprofessional and straight-up offensive line of questioning.

So she took to Reddit to ask the infamous "Am I The A**hole?" forum to weigh in on whether she would be doing the right thing to report this woman to HR.

I was open and honest with this woman in hopes that it would help her better treat me and in turn I get slut shamed for it? I posted this in a forum about sexual education and I was getting advice to report her to HR. I don't want to go after anybody's job, but I don't want other women to have to go through this same thing just for having sex.
Will I be the asshole if I report her to HR or should I leave it alone?


She also added that she was "in too much shock" at the time to respond, and simply said "thanks" and left.

Edit: For everybody asking, I was literally in too much shock to say anything to her at the moment. I just kind of stared at her because I immediately felt embarrassed and regretted the information I shared with her so openly. So after a couple of seconds she said "I appreciate your openness and honesty tho" (like that mattered after anything she just said 😩) and opened the door for me to leave so I just said "thanks" and left. I was too embarrassed and in too much shock to say anything in the moment. Trust me, I wish I would have but I wasn't even thinking about going off on her. I was just embarrassed.
Also, she was a nurse practitioner. I know a couple of times I referred to her as a doctor, but her official title was NP.


Redditors weighed in, and overall most people are encouraging her to report the woman to HR, saying she would in no way be an a**hole for doing this.

inevitablegirlie says:

NTA. 150% report her to HR. Do it right now. This is rude, regressive, none of her business and could actually deter women from getting care. You'll be doing yourself and every other woman who walks through those doors a kindness.

And Excolo_Veritas, who is married to a doctor, concurs:


Agreed, this is insane. My wife is a doctor and would be appalled to hear if a colleague did this. There is never supposed to be judgement in medicine, because exactly as you said, it could cause patients to be less open in the future. They are not the police, or the morality police. They treat you, they're there to make you better. Sure, they may recommend to stay away from unsafe practices such as unprotected sex, but it's not supposed to be judgement. Just medically relevant information and best practices. This was ABSOLUTELY judgement, and bullshit. OP please report her! I guarantee she's done this to other women, and I guarantee some of them have thought twice about seeking treatment in the future because of it. It should be stopped

And dancer29, who is a nurse, writes:

Nurse here. What she was doing was not okay. We all take paths to take care of our patients ethically and treat them with care. We might recommend to use a condom but as you stated you were doing that. If you were my patient I would actually applauded you for having safe sex and still coming in just to make sure. It's not okay to push your morals on someone else. Report the fuck out of her. NTA

Many people are pointing out that this kind of behavior from a nurse practicioner is not only rude and unprofessional but straight up dangerous, because it could prevent women from being honest about their sexual histories.The woman followed up with an update on her situation. She took everyone's advice and called the clinic to report the woman.

She ended up speaking to the manager of the clinic and explained the whole situation, and how it could put other women at risk.

I called the urgent care and asked to speak with either a patient advocate or NP supervisor. They didn't have a patient advocate and the doctor overseeing the NPs was out, so they let me talk to the manager of the clinic.
First and foremost, I explained to the manager that I in no means wanted any disciplinary action taken. I did not want her to lose her job, but maybe be given a talk or PIP to improve her service and not use personal beliefs or judgment when taking care of patients.
I explained to her everything that happened and before I could even say who the NP was, she knew EXACTLY who I was talking about...which confirmed that she's most likely been this way towards other patients previously.
I then explained how I confided in her and that I came into the office for medical advice and not personal judgment and her using my openness to pass judgment has made me weary about being open with doctors in the future. I explained that her words didn't hurt me, just my future interactions with health care providers AND future interactions with her other women patients.


The clinic manager guessed right away who she was talking about, which suggests this has happened in the past.

The manager was "very nice," and said she'd pass the complaint to the supervisor, who would give the woman a call.

The lady was very nice, and once my complaint was heard she said she'd "call the doctor (her supervisor)" right away and to expect a call from him on my cell. She also said she was placing a note and that the NP wouldn't be back in the office until next Monday.
With all of that being said, thank you to everyone for your advice! You've truly been so helpful.

Glad this woman stuck up for herself, and all women, by reporting this nightmare nurse.

Can't believe this needs to be said in 2019, but slut-shaming is bad! Don't do it! Especially if you work in the medical profession.

This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.

Health

4 simple hacks to help you meet your healthy eating goals

Trying to eat healthier? Try these 4 totally doable tricks.

Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Most of us want to eat healthier but need some help to make it happen.

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When it comes to choosing what to eat, we live in a uniquely challenging era. Never before have humans known more about nutrition and how to eat for optimal health, and yet we’ve never been more surrounded by distractions and temptations that derail us from making healthy choices.

Some people might be able to decide “I’m going to eat healthier!” and do so without any problem, but those folks are unicorns. Most of us know what we should do, but need a little help making it happen—like some simple hacks, tips and tricks for avoiding pitfalls on the road to healthier eating.

While recognizing that what works for one person may not work for another, here are some helpful habits and approaches that might help you move closer to your healthy eating goals.

man pulling chip out of a chip bagOur mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

Goal: Snack on less junk food

Tip: Focus your willpower on the grocery store, not your home

Willpower is a limited commodity for most of us, and it is no match for a bag of potato chips sitting on top of the fridge. It’s just a fact. Channeling your willpower at the grocery store can save you from having to fight that battle at home. If you don’t bring chips into your house in the first place, you’ll find it a lot easier to reach for something healthier.

The key to successful shopping trips is to always go to the store with a specific list and a full stomach—you’ll feel much less tempted to buy the junky snack foods if you’re already satiated. Also, finding healthier alternatives that will still satisfy your cravings for salty or crunchy, or fatty foods helps. Sugar snap peas have a surprisingly satisfying crunch, apples and nut butter hit that sweet-and-salty craving, etc.

slice of cakeYou can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by Caitlyn de Wild on Unsplash

Goal: Eat less sugar

Tip: Instead of “deprive,” think “delay” or “decrease and delight”

Sugar is a tricky one. Some people find it easier to cut out added sugars altogether, but that can create an all-or-nothing mindset that all too often results in “all.” Eating more whole foods and less processed foods can help us cut out a lot of ancillary sugar, but we still live in a world with birthday cakes and dessert courses.

One approach to dessert temptation is to delay instead of deprive. Tell yourself you can have any sweet you want…tomorrow. This mental trick flips the “I’ll just indulge today and start eating healthier tomorrow” idea on its head. It’s a lot easier to resist something you know you can have tomorrow than to say no to something you think you’ll never get to have again.

Another approach when you really want to enjoy a dessert at that moment is to decrease the amount and really truly savor it. Eat each bite slowly, delighting in the full taste and satisfaction of it. As soon as that delight starts to diminish, even a little, stop eating. You’ve gotten what you wanted out of it. You don’t have to finish it. (After all, you can always have more tomorrow!)

colorful fresh food on a plateA naturally colorful meal is a healthy meal.Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

Goal: Eat healthier meals

Tip: Focus on fresh foods and plan meals ahead of time

Meal planning is easier than ever before. The internet is filled with countless tools—everything from recipes to shopping lists to meal planning apps—and it’s as awesome as it is overwhelming.

Planning ahead takes the guesswork and decision fatigue out of cooking, preventing the inevitable “Let’s just order a pizza.” You can have a repeating 3-week or 4-week menu of your favorite meals so you never have to think about what you’re going to eat, or you can meal plan once a week to try new recipes and keep things fresh.

It might help to designate one day a week to “shop and chop”—getting and prepping the ingredients for the week’s meals so they’re ready to go in your fridge or freezer.

woman holding blueberries in her handsOrganic foods are better for the Earth and for us.Photo by andrew welch on Unsplash

Goal: Eat more organic/humanely raised food

Tip: Utilize the “dirty dozen” and “clean 15” lists to prioritize

Many people choose organic because they want to avoid pesticides and other potentially harmful chemicals. Organic food is also better for the planet, and according to the Mayo Clinic, studies have shown that organic produce is higher in certain nutrients.

Most people don’t buy everything organic, but there are some foods that should take priority over others. Each year, researchers from the Environmental Working Group (EWG) analyze thousands of samples of dozens of fruits and vegetables. From this data, they create a list of the “Dirty Dozen” and “Clean 15” fruits and vegetables, indicating what produce has the most and least pesticide residue. These lists give people a good place to start focusing their transition to more organic foods.

To make organic eating even simpler, you can shop O Organics® at your local Albertsons or Safeway stores. The O Organics brand offers a wide range of affordable USDA-certified organic products in every aisle. If you’re focusing on fresh foods, O Organics produce is always grown without synthetic pesticides, is farmed to conserve biodiversity, and is always non-GMO. All animal-based O Organics products are certified humane as well. Even switching part of your grocery list to organic can make a positive impact on the planet and the people you feed.

Healthy eating habits don’t have to be all or nothing, and they don’t have to be complicated. A few simple mindset changes at home and habit changes at the grocery store can make a big difference.

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All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

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A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.

Angelina Jordan blew everyone away with her version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody."

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3,700-year-old Babylonian stone tablet gets translated, changes history

They were doing trigonometry 1500 years before the Greeks.

via UNSW

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David Shane creates videos in which he approaches couples in public and asks them to share three things they love about each other, resulting in some major #couplegoals moments. But one "couple" he approached had a surprising answer to that question, one that moved both them and the people watching the video afterward to tears.

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Chris Hannah and Cole entertain a group of kids.

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Chris, with the help of his deaf nephew, taught the dog sign language, and they began doing presentations in schools, teaching kids that it’s okay to be different and helping them to be courageous and kind. They also help them reflect on their feelings of “brokenness” to learn self-acceptance and compassion. In their performances, Chris and Cole demonstrate that disabilities are a superpower by showing that a dog can learn sign language.

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