She told a little girl that everything would be OK. The little girl was herself 10 years ago.

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After being confronted with homophobia online, Lyra McKee wrote an open letter to herself.

Lyra McKee was happily walking through the Internet when she stumbled on some pretty mean comments coming from a vocal pastor who said, “Two lesbians living together are not a family. They are sexual perverts playing Let's Pretend."

Lyra was hurt and responded with a tweet:

It prompted some attention, so she decided to write a post explaining her comment and hope a teenager might read it and not feel alone.

Here's her letter, written from her 24-year-old self to her 14-year-old self.

Kid,

It's going to be okay.

I know you're not feeling that way right now. You're sitting in school. The other kids are making fun of you. You told the wrong person you had a crush and soon, they all knew your secret. It's horrible. They make your life hell. They laugh at you, whisper about you and call you names. It's not nice. And you can't ask an adult for help because if you did that, you'd have to tell them the truth and you can't do that. They can't ever know your secret.

Life is so hard right now. Every day, you wake up wondering who else will find out your secret and hate you.

It won't always be like this. It's going to get better.

"It won't always be like this. It's going to get better."

In a year's time, you're going to join a scheme that trains people your age to be journalists. I know the careers teacher suggested that as an option and you said no, because it sounded boring and all you wanted to do was write, but go with it. For the first time in your life, you will feel like you're good at something useful. You'll have found your calling. You'll meet amazing people. And when the bad times come again — FYI, your first girlfriend is not “the one" and you will screw up that History exam — it will be journalism that helps you soldier on.

In two years time, you will leave school and go to a local technical college. Don't worry — you're going to make friends. These will be your first real friends in semi-adulthood, the people who will answer your calls at 4 O'Clock in the morning. In the years to come, you'll only keep in touch with Gavyn and Jonny but you'll remember the others fondly. When you're 17, you'll tell them your secret and they won't mind. It will take courage but you will do it. Gavyn will become Christian and you will fear that he will hate you but one afternoon, you'll receive a text message saying: “This changes nothing. You'll always be my friend." Accept him for what he is as he has accepted you.

You'll go to university, like you always planned to, but you'll drop out because it reminds you of school where people were cold and you had few friends. The campus is just too big and scary. But this experience will be the making of you. You'll be making your way in the world for the first time. Through this, you will meet the people who become your best friends. They'll help you replace all the bad memories with good ones. For the first time in your life, you will like yourself.

"For the first time in your life, you will like yourself."

Three months before your 21st birthday, you will tell Mum the secret. You will be sobbing and shaking and she will be frightened because she doesn't know what's wrong. Christmas will be just a couple of weeks away. You have to tell her because you've met someone you like and you can't live with the guilt anymore. You can't get the words out so she says it: “Are you gay?" And you will say, “Yes Mummy, I'm so sorry." And instead of getting mad, she will reply “Thank God you're not pregnant". You will crawl into her lap, sobbing, as she holds you and tells you that you are her little girl and how could you ever think that anything would make her love you any less? You will feel like a prisoner who has been given their freedom. You will remember all the times you pleaded with God to help you because you were so afraid and you will feel so foolish because you had nothing to worry about.

"You will tell your siblings. No one will mind."

You will tell your siblings. No one will mind. Mary will hug you in the food court in Castlecourt as you eat KFC together and tell you she's so proud of you. The others will joke about how they always knew. They will all say some variation of "I love you," "I'm so proud of you", "This doesn't change a thing."

You will feel so lucky. You watched James get thrown out of his house after coming out to his parents. You were in Michael's house the night his Mum said she would "beat the gay out of him." You will feel guilty for being the lucky one and getting it easy in the end, even though you went through hell to get there.

You will fall in love for the first time. You will have your heart broken for the first time and you will feel like you might die of the pain. You won't. You will get over it.

Right now, you're wondering if you'll ever be "normal". You are normal. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not going to hell. You did nothing to deserve their hate.

"Right now, you're wondering if you'll ever be 'normal'. You are normal. There is nothing wrong with you."

Life will not only get easier, it will get so much better. You will walk down the street without fear. Teenage boys you've never met will not throw things at you and shout names. Your friends will be the best anyone could ask for. You will be invited to parties. You will have a social life. You will be loved. People will use words like "awesome" and "cool" and "witty" to describe you and you'll forget the times the other kids said you were "weird" and "odd" and a "lesbo".

You will do "normal" things. You will spend time with your Mum. You will go to work and pay your bills. You will go to the cinema with your best friend every week because that's your ritual — dinner then an action movie where things explode. You will fall in love again. You will smile every day, knowing that someone loves you as much as you love them.

Keep hanging on, kid. It's worth it. I love you.

Visit Sweden

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles

Family

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

family

Family

Parents get a wave of support after their family has 'unhinged' reaction to new baby's name

Hope their family was taking notes.

Canva

Unsolicited opinions aren't just annoying. They can be hurtful.

Sure, parents sometimes make an…interesting choice when it comes to naming their child. But the key word there is "choice." It probably goes without saying that it’s not the best move to insert an opinion on something rather personal and vulnerable like a child's name, especially when that opinion is not requested.

But nonetheless, people do cross this boundary, expressing their disapproval and giving new moms and dads yet another reason to second-guess themselves.

As one frustrated mom shared on Reddit, her own in-laws gave what she described as the “most unhinged” reaction to her newborn’s name, leaving her and her husband completely “crushed.”

At first, everything went smoothly.

“I just had a baby this week,” the mom wrote in her post. “We were still in the hospital when we announced her name and got a slew of the usual responses that normal, sane people say when hearing about the name of a baby (‘what a lovely name!’). Because saying anything different is insane, right?”

But when her husband texted his side of the family to share their newborn daughter’s name, all hell broke loose.

Mind you, these parents didn’t name their child Watermelon Gumdrop or Fern Gully or something else truly out there. The name they chose, which caused them a lot of unnecessary grief, was Rosa.

Not only does Rosa (the Spanish word for “rose”) sound lovely, it carries all poetic meaning symbolized by the flower: hope, love, and courage. What’s not to like?

Rosa is a baby girl name of Mexican origin.

Canva

But instead of celebrating their name choice, the mother-in-law apparently responded with, ““No, I don’t really like that name. I much prefer Violet.”

“We were stunned,” the woman continued. “I simply cannot imagine being a family member who’s being INFORMED of a newborn’s name, and thinking you should have input…We LOVE our daughter’s name, and did not want to have our first moments with our daughter marred by this comment.”

But wait, it gets worse.

The husband's family then called several times after their texts were ignored. The following day, the husband’s sister also sent a barrage of texts with “alternatives [that] she prefers.”

Then, when told that the entire family on the mom’s side supported the name, the mother-in-law laughed and said, “They must not have good taste—nobody here likes it. Nobody.”

Now, this next part really shows the effect this appalling behavior had on the new parents:

“We are sleep deprived. Coming down from an emotional high, during which our daughter was in NICU and I almost needed a blood transfusion because of how much blood I lost. My husband, so stoic and assured, is f**king crushed. I’m FUMING. I will NEVER forget how they made my husband feel during one of the most vulnerable and special times in his life,” the mom wrote.

Most Unhinged Reaction To Naming Your Child?
byu/UWhatMate innamenerds

People who read this woman’s story were “livid” on her behalf, and rallied to give her some long overdue support.

“What on earth is wrong with Rosa???? It’s a beautiful name!! Tell your mother-in-law she is ridiculous and she can shut up immediately, if not sooner,” one person commented.

Another pointed to how truly ridiculous this situation was, writing, “The name is ROSA? I thought from reading this that it was at least going to be a controversial name. Rosa is beautiful. Even if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s hard to find anything wrong with it. OP should take this as the sign it is and reevaluate their individual relationships with that side of the family.”

Several even suggested going into little-to-no-contact mode with that side of the family, since odds are they wouldn’t prove any more helpful in the stressful postpartum days to come.

“Tell her she doesn’t need to meet baby if she is so insistent on the name being changed,” one person commented.

Sadly, sometimes stronger boundaries must be established with those who will not respect more lenient ones, especially when it comes to family members—and especially when it comes to parents trying to raise their kids in the most healthy environment possible. Hopefully these parents were able to move forward and enjoy welcoming little Rosa into the world.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

She told a little girl that everything would be OK. The little girl was herself 10 years ago.

After being confronted with homophobia online, Lyra McKee wrote an open letter to herself.

Here's her letter, written from her 24-year-old self to her 14-year-old self.

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

Hope their family was taking notes.

But wait, it gets worse.

They're funny because they're true.

Gordon shared 15 of his oh-so-real comics with us. They're all funny 'cause they're true.

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I love Gordon's comics so much because they're just about the reality of parenting — and they capture it perfectly.

There's a huge difference between the two.

What’s the difference between being a dad and being a father?

"You make sure she doesn't go home empty handed."